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queen-haq · 4 days

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There wouldn't be a story if he wasn't such a fuck up lol 😆 🤣 😂

Thank you for the support as always ❤️

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 7

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Summary: They may have been friends once but his callous words decimated their relationship. Determined not to have anything to do with him, Penelope is ready to move on. But Colin isn’t giving up, not at all. Friends or not, they are connected for life - and he intends to remind her of that.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

A03 link if that's more your jam

Chapter 7

“Show me,” Penelope spoke, her voice firm and determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

A mixture of surprise and uncertainty flitted across Colin’s face, causing her to wonder if she overstepped.

After their first conversation at the park since his return, he’d been a different man. Not at all the sweet, charming Colin that she’d grown up with, the one who didn’t see her as a woman, but someone who was unhinged and volatile. Obsessive in a way she had never seen him before, demanding things he had no right to. And the way he looked at her, touched her as if she belonged to him – she didn’t know how to wrap her mind around this change.

Except now there was hesitation on his face, and he reminded her of the Colin from before. Her childhood friend. And she wondered if this was the moment the spell over him would break. Would he finally realize the truth that he truly didn’t want her? That this strange fixation was only temporary? Her heart hurt at the thought, even though she knew rationally this was for the best for both herself and him. “This was a mistake. Please leave.”

She tried to walk past him but suddenly he gripped her hand from behind, his other arm sneaking around her waist to pull her against him. Her back flushed with his front, she trembled when he leaned into whisper in her ear. “Your scent is ingrained into my brain. You’re in my every thought, every fantasy. All I think about is you.”

His lips traced a line from her ear, down the length of her neck, inhaling her in, teasing her with his warm breath, whispering wicked, wicked things. Every nerve in her body was heightened with his one hand trailing down her body, the other cupping her right breast over her dressing robe.

Breath panting, she arched back, gripping his sides for support. “Colin…”.

“I’ve imagined your breasts, what they look like, what they feel like when I cup them.” The need in his voice was potent, shocking her, but it paled in comparison to when his fingers brushed against her nipple. She jumped in response but he held her firm, locking her in his arms. His breath grew labored. “How sweet you must taste, Pen.” His other hand drifted to between her legs, stroking her mound. “Your sweet, tight cunt, so needy for me, begging to be filled with my cock… “

It was all too much, she couldn’t take it. His hands caressing her, his mouth seducing her, she was a throbbing nerve of need and wanton desire. Nothing else mattered, except the thrilling sensation from his hands all over her body.

It wasn’t until she felt him start to untie her robe that some semblance of sense returned. Underneath the robe she was clad in her sleeping gown, free of any undergarments that would give her body a desirable shape. She would practically be naked. Naked. Her large breasts, her too-soft stomach and thighs, all exposed in front of him. Immediately, panic set in. She couldn’t do it, not with him, not when any sign of disappointment from him would destroy her. Using all her resolve she nudged his hands away and attempted to move – but he didn’t let her. Instead he whirled her around in his arms and pulled her in for a kiss.

His mouth closed over hers, silencing every thought in her brain.

There was urgency in his kiss, in his touch, lifting her up in his arms like she weighed nothing. And she couldn’t get enough of him, returning his frenzied kiss while he ravaged her. Her hands frantically unbuttoned his waistcoat, practically ripping it off so she could feel his shoulders, his back, his chest whilst his own squeezed her bottom, his hardness jutting against her stomach.

Suddenly he tore his mouth away, his breath panting, perched above her and she realized they were on her bed. Somehow he had carried her from the door to the bed while she’d been completely caught up in him. Heat coursed through her body at the stark desire etched on his face; his look of awe, as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world, made her head spin. His eyes were dark, so dark, almost brown, piercing through to her very soul, the rhythm of her heavy breaths matching his so they were both breathing in unison. A small voice in her head reminded her this was a terrible mistake, but then there was her heart. Her heart, that had loved him for so long and ached to be touched by him for as long as she could remember. Not just be touched, but also touch him in return. His hair, his lips, his body – everywhere.

Taking advantage of her position, she ran her fingers through his soft, tantalizing curls.

“That feels wonderful,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

His eyes met hers. “Why didn’t you?”

“You know why.” Her fingers caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. “And I shouldn’t be doing this right now.”

“Wrong. You should do that and more.”

“You can not have your way with me, Colin.”

“And you should not be haunting my every thought, yet you do.”

Her voice was playful, toying with him. “I’m not responsible for the wicked thoughts in your mind.”

“But you are.” His eyes centered on her parted lips. “You’re a temptress, Penelope. In my dreams and out of them.”

“Have you really dreamt of me?”

“Every night this past week.”

He rubbed his body against hers, and a spark of lightning rushed through her blood. Like he’d set her body on fire. Her robe was undone but she didn’t want to cover herself this time, the intimacy of having him be so close to her heated core too enthralling to stop.

“I dream of your smile, your sweet laughter.” He nuzzled the top of her head. “Your fiery mane.”

“That doesn’t sound very tempting.”

“Then you don’t see what I see.” His eyes locked with hers. “Slow taunts, wicked barbs, seducing me with your mind before you begin your true, tender assault on me.”

Her heart started drumming in her chest.

“When you finally touch me with your hands, your mouth, I’m at the brink of madness.”

It was difficult to breathe with him peering at her, his finger slowly tracing the contours of her face. “There are times I dream about pleasuring you. What you must taste like, what you must feel like when I’m inside you, how beautiful you must look when you come for me.”

Throat parched, she swallowed and glided her tongue over her lips. His gaze followed her every movement, a man enchanted. And he was still stiff, undeniable proof that he desired her. Her. Emboldened by his response, she reached up to cup his face. “I wonder how you look.”

He raised his eyebrow. “When I climax?”

Heat rose in her cheeks.

“Do you want to get me off, Penelope?”

“Would you want me to?”

“I’ve imagined your mouth on me a thousand times. And I’ve imagined devouring your cunt just as many.”

A thrill ran down her spine, both from nervousness and excitement. “Do you touch yourself when you think of me?”

“Yes.”

“Would you… show me?”

He raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure? I’m not sure you would find it enjoyable to watch.”

“I want to see you, Colin. All of you.”

Eyes darkened, he sat back on his knees. Positioned between her legs, he simply held still, studying her for a few seconds before he loosened his breeches and pulled them down. Her eyes followed his movements. She drew a sharp breath when he freed his erection, mesmerized by the sight. He was pink and thick, the length of his shaft beautiful in a way she’d never imagined before.

“I simply have to think of you and it’s enough to get me hard. Your luscious lips, your eyes glazed, looking at me, wanting me, the way you’re doing now.” Wrapping his fingers around his cock, he started to move his hand up and down his shaft. “I think about your full breasts, how soft they felt in my hands, how lush and beautiful they would be when you finally show them to me.”

She held his gaze, wetness pooling between her legs.

“I ache at the thought of your nipples begging for my attention. How rosy and flushed they must look after I’ve spent my time licking them, suckling them, playing with them. Would they be puffy, I wonder.”

A moan escaped both of their lips, their breaths ragged.

“I intend to cover every inch of you with love bites. Some hidden, secret treasures for the two of us. Others on your neck, the top of your breasts, so the world knows you’re mine and I’ve marked you forever.”

The possessive glint in his eyes left her reeling. Instinctively she reached for her core, rubbing herself over the fabric of her nightgown. His gaze wandered down, focused on her hand while speeding up the rhythm of his own movements.

“You deserve to be pleasured for hours… I think about it… tasting you... fucking you… burying my face in your cunt… how good you’ll feel when I fuck you with my tongue… your clit…” He groaned, his cock slick as he continued to work himself.

Aroused, excited, she closed her eyes, arching her body, stroking herself vigorously until she found the secret, sensitive nub that heightened everything even more. And she thought about Colin caressing her there, kissing her there, making love to her as he promised. His guttural groan rung in her ear, ecstasy rippling through her body when his wet fingers sidled up to her own to tease her clit, his cock brushing against it. The reality of his touch was so much more erotic than her own imagination. She was completely lost in madness, everything rushing to a head before culminating in a white-hot explosion in her mind.

The world was abliss.

Fire and light danced in her mind.

She was floating, floating, her body boneless, weightless. Most of her life was spent worrying about taking up too much space and now she felt light and airy. Unburdened.

Eyes still closed, she focused on the rhythm of her breaths. One… two… three… She counted them in her mind, clinging to this feeling so it could last forever. But then things slowly started coming into focus, reality taking shape to interrupt her happiness. Sensations burst through, drawing her mind to the world around her. Colin’s breaths, slowly retuning to normal. Wetness on her body, between her legs, sticky warmth pooled on her stomach, her chest. Friction from his cock sliding down her clit.

And then emptiness.

Colin was no longer on top of her, his heavy, pleasant weight lifted from her body. An aching loneliness spread through her upon realizing he had left her alone on the bed.

It was bound to happen, this moment was never meant to last. The spell he was under had to break at some point. Maybe it was her own shameless, reckless behavior that expedited the return of his sanity. Once again, she would be relegated back to being just Pen.

She reminded herself this was for the best. Because Arthur-

“Look at me, Pen.”

Her eyes flew open, landing on Colin as he took a seat next to her. Clad in his breeches, his shirt bunched up in his hand, the sheer beauty of him stole her breath. It took all of her resolve not to stare at his broad shoulders, the soft, crinkling of hair spread across his chest. And then he shifted closer, startling her when he started to wipe her chest with his shirt because he had spilled his seed all over her body. “I like you like this. My cum on you, my clothing soaked in your wetness. It’s as it should be.”

His words made her blush. “You should leave, Colin.”

The haunted glint in his eyes returned immediately. “I can’t.” There was desperation in his voice as he lied down beside her, cupping her face. “Let me stay here tonight, Pen?”

“You know that can’t happen. If we were to be discovered-”

“I’ll leave before the sun rises. I swear it.” Distress marked his beautiful features, his eyes pleading with her. “I’m exhausted. I can’t sleep at all. Every time I close my eyes I think of you, I’m filled with anxiety at the thought of losing you… and maybe it’s foolish but if you were next to me, if I could hold you, smell you, maybe I could get some rest then. Please, Pen?”

She wanted to hold firm and insist that he leave, but her heart couldn’t handle the anguish he was in. “Only for tonight, this can not happen again. And you must leave before dawn breaks.”

Relief flooded over his face. He leaned forward to graze her temple, his lips gentle on her skin.

She hesitated, stiffening as he pulled her against his chest. His heated skin seemed to burn through her senses, overwhelming her with his close proximity. While a part of her yearned to wrap herself around him, place her head on his chest, listen to his heartbeat, embrace him fully, she reminded herself to hold back. This was a fantasy. This couldn’t last.

“I’ve dreamt about you sleeping next to me.” His voice was a hushed murmur, his eyes a soft, dreamy blue.

She covered his mouth with her palm. “Sleep, Colin. It’ll be dawn soon.”

The corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. He pulled her hand away, placing it over his heart. “Goodnight, Pen.”

Gathered in his arms, she stayed quiet as the minutes passed. Soon he was fast asleep, but she wasn’t as fortunate.

Guilt saturated her mind, refusing to give her a moment of peace.

She was angry with Colin, but mostly at herself. She had made the decision to marry Arthur, giving her a pathway to pursue other hopes and dreams, and with simply a few seductive words from Colin and her own selfishness, it all came tumbling down. She risked her carefully crafted future, because she couldn’t resist love.

She took a deep breath, her stomach coiled into knots.

Regardless of the consequences, Arthur needed to know the truth about what happened tonight. He deserved that at the very least, she had to be honest with him.

And then she had to come to terms with the fact that she had ruined her future.

To be continued...

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queen-haq · 4 days

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Aw, thank you so much 💓

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 7

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

A03 link if that's more your jam

Chapter 7

“Show me,” Penelope spoke, her voice firm and determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

A mixture of surprise and uncertainty flitted across Colin’s face, causing her to wonder if she overstepped.

Breath panting, she arched back, gripping his sides for support. “Colin…”.

His mouth closed over hers, silencing every thought in her brain.

Taking advantage of her position, she ran her fingers through his soft, tantalizing curls.

“That feels wonderful,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

His eyes met hers. “Why didn’t you?”

“You know why.” Her fingers caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. “And I shouldn’t be doing this right now.”

“Wrong. You should do that and more.”

“You can not have your way with me, Colin.”

“And you should not be haunting my every thought, yet you do.”

Her voice was playful, toying with him. “I’m not responsible for the wicked thoughts in your mind.”

“But you are.” His eyes centered on her parted lips. “You’re a temptress, Penelope. In my dreams and out of them.”

“Have you really dreamt of me?”

“Every night this past week.”

“I dream of your smile, your sweet laughter.” He nuzzled the top of her head. “Your fiery mane.”

“That doesn’t sound very tempting.”

“Then you don’t see what I see.” His eyes locked with hers. “Slow taunts, wicked barbs, seducing me with your mind before you begin your true, tender assault on me.”

Her heart started drumming in her chest.

“When you finally touch me with your hands, your mouth, I’m at the brink of madness.”

He raised his eyebrow. “When I climax?”

Heat rose in her cheeks.

“Do you want to get me off, Penelope?”

“Would you want me to?”

“I’ve imagined your mouth on me a thousand times. And I’ve imagined devouring your cunt just as many.”

A thrill ran down her spine, both from nervousness and excitement. “Do you touch yourself when you think of me?”

“Yes.”

“Would you… show me?”

He raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure? I’m not sure you would find it enjoyable to watch.”

“I want to see you, Colin. All of you.”

She held his gaze, wetness pooling between her legs.

A moan escaped both of their lips, their breaths ragged.

The world was abliss.

Fire and light danced in her mind.

She was floating, floating, her body boneless, weightless. Most of her life was spent worrying about taking up too much space and now she felt light and airy. Unburdened.

And then emptiness.

Colin was no longer on top of her, his heavy, pleasant weight lifted from her body. An aching loneliness spread through her upon realizing he had left her alone on the bed.

She reminded herself this was for the best. Because Arthur-

“Look at me, Pen.”

His words made her blush. “You should leave, Colin.”

The haunted glint in his eyes returned immediately. “I can’t.” There was desperation in his voice as he lied down beside her, cupping her face. “Let me stay here tonight, Pen?”

“You know that can’t happen. If we were to be discovered-”

She wanted to hold firm and insist that he leave, but her heart couldn’t handle the anguish he was in. “Only for tonight, this can not happen again. And you must leave before dawn breaks.”

Relief flooded over his face. He leaned forward to graze her temple, his lips gentle on her skin.

“I’ve dreamt about you sleeping next to me.” His voice was a hushed murmur, his eyes a soft, dreamy blue.

She covered his mouth with her palm. “Sleep, Colin. It’ll be dawn soon.”

The corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. He pulled her hand away, placing it over his heart. “Goodnight, Pen.”

Gathered in his arms, she stayed quiet as the minutes passed. Soon he was fast asleep, but she wasn’t as fortunate.

Guilt saturated her mind, refusing to give her a moment of peace.

She took a deep breath, her stomach coiled into knots.

Regardless of the consequences, Arthur needed to know the truth about what happened tonight. He deserved that at the very least, she had to be honest with him.

And then she had to come to terms with the fact that she had ruined her future.

To be continued...

45 notes · View notes

queen-haq · 12 days

Text

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 7

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

A03 link if that's more your jam

Chapter 7

“Show me,” Penelope spoke, her voice firm and determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

A mixture of surprise and uncertainty flitted across Colin’s face, causing her to wonder if she overstepped.

Breath panting, she arched back, gripping his sides for support. “Colin…”.

His mouth closed over hers, silencing every thought in her brain.

Taking advantage of her position, she ran her fingers through his soft, tantalizing curls.

“That feels wonderful,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

His eyes met hers. “Why didn’t you?”

“You know why.” Her fingers caressed the hair on the nape of his neck. “And I shouldn’t be doing this right now.”

“Wrong. You should do that and more.”

“You can not have your way with me, Colin.”

“And you should not be haunting my every thought, yet you do.”

Her voice was playful, toying with him. “I’m not responsible for the wicked thoughts in your mind.”

“But you are.” His eyes centered on her parted lips. “You’re a temptress, Penelope. In my dreams and out of them.”

“Have you really dreamt of me?”

“Every night this past week.”

“I dream of your smile, your sweet laughter.” He nuzzled the top of her head. “Your fiery mane.”

“That doesn’t sound very tempting.”

“Then you don’t see what I see.” His eyes locked with hers. “Slow taunts, wicked barbs, seducing me with your mind before you begin your true, tender assault on me.”

Her heart started drumming in her chest.

“When you finally touch me with your hands, your mouth, I’m at the brink of madness.”

He raised his eyebrow. “When I climax?”

Heat rose in her cheeks.

“Do you want to get me off, Penelope?”

“Would you want me to?”

“I’ve imagined your mouth on me a thousand times. And I’ve imagined devouring your cunt just as many.”

A thrill ran down her spine, both from nervousness and excitement. “Do you touch yourself when you think of me?”

“Yes.”

“Would you… show me?”

He raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure? I’m not sure you would find it enjoyable to watch.”

“I want to see you, Colin. All of you.”

She held his gaze, wetness pooling between her legs.

A moan escaped both of their lips, their breaths ragged.

The world was abliss.

Fire and light danced in her mind.

She was floating, floating, her body boneless, weightless. Most of her life was spent worrying about taking up too much space and now she felt light and airy. Unburdened.

And then emptiness.

Colin was no longer on top of her, his heavy, pleasant weight lifted from her body. An aching loneliness spread through her upon realizing he had left her alone on the bed.

She reminded herself this was for the best. Because Arthur-

“Look at me, Pen.”

His words made her blush. “You should leave, Colin.”

The haunted glint in his eyes returned immediately. “I can’t.” There was desperation in his voice as he lied down beside her, cupping her face. “Let me stay here tonight, Pen?”

“You know that can’t happen. If we were to be discovered-”

She wanted to hold firm and insist that he leave, but her heart couldn’t handle the anguish he was in. “Only for tonight, this can not happen again. And you must leave before dawn breaks.”

Relief flooded over his face. He leaned forward to graze her temple, his lips gentle on her skin.

“I’ve dreamt about you sleeping next to me.” His voice was a hushed murmur, his eyes a soft, dreamy blue.

She covered his mouth with her palm. “Sleep, Colin. It’ll be dawn soon.”

The corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. He pulled her hand away, placing it over his heart. “Goodnight, Pen.”

Gathered in his arms, she stayed quiet as the minutes passed. Soon he was fast asleep, but she wasn’t as fortunate.

Guilt saturated her mind, refusing to give her a moment of peace.

She took a deep breath, her stomach coiled into knots.

Regardless of the consequences, Arthur needed to know the truth about what happened tonight. He deserved that at the very least, she had to be honest with him.

And then she had to come to terms with the fact that she had ruined her future.

To be continued...

#polin #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #penelope x colin #my fics

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queen-haq · 16 days

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Eagerly waiting for the next part of GY! I love the way you write Billy and how your reader is never flat, she’s always felt like a full bodied character in her own right and I can always find myself rooting for her. Thank you for allowing us to be witness to your skillful writing!

You are so sweet, dear anon! Thank you so much for the lovely feedback and the generous comments about my Reader. I always try to give them "life" so they feel somewhat real.

I know I haven't posted a new chapter in a while, inspiration has been low. But I know me, it'll return eventually because I adore their dynamic. Please be patient with me 😀

#Gy feedback

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queen-haq · 23 days

Note

LOVING YOUR POLIN FANFIC OKAY IT GAVE ME LIFE

Aw, that's so kind of you. Thank you 😊

#NU feedback

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queen-haq · 25 days

Text

Fic: Never You (Polin) - Part 6

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

Chapter 6

Dearest Penny,

I hope this letter finds you well.

My journey home was perilous and took far too long. However, I did receive good news upon my arrival. Mother was awake in bed, the worst of her illness having passed recently. It will still take a few weeks but the doctor is confident she will recover fully. I have told her a lot about you. As I predicted, she is excited to meet you.

I miss you. I remind myself it’s only a matter of time before we can start our new life together, full of adventure and laughter, but it still feels too long.

Once my affairs are settled, I will be traveling to London to see you. I know your Mama will not take kindly to me but I hope to win her over with my intelligence and wit (I’m envisioning the mocking smile on your lips as I write this). If all else fails, I shall win her approval through jewelry, as you suggested. Hopefully that will alleviate her concerns about an untitled son-in-law.

Love,

Arthur.

Penelope read the letter again, smiling to herself. While she and Arthur could converse for hours, his letters tended to be short and to the point. And though they lacked a writer’s flair, his letters still felt distinctly like him and she appreciated that.

With other men she was shy and tongue-tied, and they were never interested in her anyway, but Arthur Debling had been different. At a dinner gathering in Ayleshire, it was he who had approached her, and once she got over her initial shyness the conversation flowed between them. Perhaps it was because he was a merchant and not a member of nobility, but from the very beginning he treated her with respect and a matter-of-fact stance rarely displayed by others. To him she wasn’t some woman in desperate hunt for a husband or an awkward, shy wallflower to be avoided at all times. She was Penelope Featherington and she was enough.

For the first few weeks there had been no romantic intentions, they simply talked of art and poetry. Over time she came to see he possessed a brilliant scientific mind that he went out of his way to hide. Only when she questioned him did he finally admit he was embarrassed of his intelligence and felt the need to dampen his curious mind from others. That was the first night she started to see him in a different light.

“Penelope!”

The sound of Mama's voice brought Penelope out of her reverie. After hiding the letter, she made her way toward her mother’s chamber in the opposite corner of the hallway. Portia was already dressed for bed and brushing her hair when Penelope entered the room. “Yes, Mama?”

The older woman cast her a quick glance in the mirror. “Lady Violet has invited us for tea tomorrow afternoon.”

Pen paused. Tea at the Bridgertons meant seeing Eloise and perhaps even Colin. “I will be in-”

“And before you come down with a sudden case of illness, I will remind you that personal invitations of this nature have been rare of late. We can not afford to turn down any, let alone the Bridgertons.”

Between the Marina scandal and then Cousin Jack, there were many who no longer wished to associate with the Featheringtons. While that was a relief for Pen, she knew the slow exclusion really hurt Portia even if she did hide the pain behind a mask of angry condescension.

“Yes, Mama. I understand.”

“Good. Now get some sleep, child. I will not have you looking haggard tomorrow.”

Penelope sauntered back to her chamber, her mind still reeling. No doubt Eloise would be present and angry with her. Would she at least pretend to be polite? Pen didn’t know. So far they had mostly avoided each other, except for the ball last week when Eloise had warned her to stay away from Colin.

After entering the chamber, she was busy locking the door when a noise startled her.

“Pen.”

Colin’s throaty growl made her gasp, her body suddenly taut.

Hesitant, she turned around.

It had been two days since she last saw him at the park. And now he was here in her chamber, shamelessly sitting at the edge of her bed. Hair tousled, clothes messy and disheveled, he stared at her intently. His face was unshaven, revealing a stubble growth of a day or two. Instead of taking away from his looks, however, it only emphasized his handsomeness more.

Her heart started pounding in her chest, both from the anger that flooded through her veins and the knowledge that his hold upon her was still so potent. “How did you get in here?” she asked, keeping her voice steady so he couldn’t sense how much his presence unnerved her.

“I climbed up the tree and through the window.”

As if violating her privacy was a daily occurrence for him.

“You’re so very determined to ruin me, aren’t you?”

“I was careful. No one saw me.”

“Well, that makes it alright then.”

“I didn’t take you as the sarcastic sort, Pen.”

“Add it to the growing list of things you don’t know about me.”

He didn’t respond, his eyes locked with hers.

The silence between them grew more tense by the second while they held still, as if a single movement could ignite a fire that would burn them both.

And then he stood up. “Do you know why I’m here, Pen?”

There was a button missing from his waistcoat, dirt on his breeches, and he had never looked more beautiful than he did at that moment. Her heart flipflopped in her chest. “I don’t care. I simply want you to leave.”

A bitter smile shadowed his lips. “Because it’s that easy for you, isn’t it? You’ve moved on already.”

“Yes.” The strength in her voice surprised even her when all she felt was anxiety twisting up her insides. “It’s time you do the same.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? That I’ve been trying?” Anger laced his words, hurt etched onto his face. “You don’t want to have anything to do with me yet I can’t imagine a single moment of my life without you. Why is that, Pen?”

With a slow and deliberate gait, he swaggered forward.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Your voice, your smile, your taunts...” He tapped the side of his temple erratically, eyes heavy with emotion. “Always in my fucking mind, refusing to give me even one moment of peace. You’ve been torturing me!"

With every step that drew him closer, waves of madness surged through her body. She didn’t want to feel like this, like her mind and body were completely out of her control.

“Why is this happening to me, Pen?” His voice cracked. “Why do I feel this way?” He clutched his heart, his long, lean fingers rubbing the spot over his waistcoat repeatedly. “It didn’t used to be like this, I was fine before! But now I think about you leaving me and it’s like I can’t breathe. Like a part of me will be lost forever.”

Her eyes softened. The man standing in front of her wasn’t the one who broke her heart. In his place was her dear friend, the boy she had known her entire life and loved for as long, and he was pleading for her help. “That empty feeling will go away, Colin. I promise.” She took a furtive step toward him. “You’ve only just returned, your life probably feels untethered with everything changing around you. But give it time, let yourself settle in, and things will be better.”

He stopped in his tracks. “Nothing will ever be the same without you.”

“It will, I promise.” She sent him a sad smile. “You will meet someone beautiful and kind, and she will be everything you ever wanted. The true love of your life. And this sadness that you feel right now will become a distant memory.”

A beat of silence followed as he contemplated her words.

Would the agonizing pain that coursed through her at the thought of him with another woman ever lessen? She didn’t know. Maybe with time and distance she would be free of this curse, but for now he was still very much embedded in her soul and the eventual reality of him falling in love made her want to retch.

“Is that what you think will happen for you, Pen? You’ll marry this Arthur and make me a distant memory?”

There was no outward change in him yet she immediately sensed the shift within.

He cocked his eyebrow. “Do you think I will let that happen?”

She stared at him defiantly as he approached her. “You have no say in my life.”

“But I do, Pen.” The glint in his gaze sharpened, making his blue eyes appear even darker. “Because it’s me you’re in love with. It’s me you swore never to forsake.” He came to a stop in front of her, forcing her to look up at him. “I intend to hold you to that.”

Her anger returned. “And I intend to fight you. Because I will not sacrifice my future to appease your selfishness.”

“I know,” he sighed, regret looming over his face. “I should never have asked you to do that. But that’s why I’m here, Pen. I want to make things right between us.”

Her demand to know how died on her lips as soon as he retrieved something out of the pocket of his waistcoat. Stunned, she stood frozen as he held out an emerald ring, one she recognized right away from having seen Lady Violet wear it occasionally.

“My father gifted this to my mother on their tenth anniversary.” There was reverence in his voice as he spoke. “I think he chose it especially for the colour. It’s remarkable, isn’t it?”

She swallowed, nodding. “Yes, it’s beautiful.”

“This has always been my favourite of mother’s jewelry. I knew one day I would gift it to my wife.”

Her mind went blank.

“And maybe now is that time.” He bent down on one knee in front of her, holding up the ring. “Will you marry me, Penelope Featherington?”

Time stopped.

For so long all she wanted was to be Colin’s wife. In her mind marrying him meant she would finally be happy and fulfilled. He would be the perfect husband, and she would be a member of the happy and loving Bridgerton family at last. All her dreams would finally be realized.

Except she wasn’t happy or even excited. The man she loved was on his knees, proposing to her, and all she could think about was how wrong it all felt. The proposal didn’t come from a place of love. No. Instead it was borne out of fear and a stubborn refusal to grow up. A last resort so he didn’t have to face losing their friendship.

Then there was Arthur. With him she didn’t have to hide, she could be who she truly was and not have to apologize for it. And she could continue to write, whether that be as Lady Whistledown, someone new or even herself, and do so without shame or regret.

Colin may have been her lifelong dream but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have new ones. And with Arthur, the life she wanted was within her grasp. A true possibility rather than simple fantasy.

Immediately she felt a sense of peace, knowing she was doing the right thing for herself. “I’ve already said this to you before. I’m betrothed to another.”

In one fluid motion he slid the ring back into his pocket before rising to his full height. He had always towered over her but that had never intimidated her before. For the first time she felt a small twinge of fear percolating in her stomach, realizing the stark darkness on his face was also new.

He was quiet, too quiet, stalking her every move with his eyes, slowly pushing forward. A predator enjoying the rituals of the hunt, preparing his prey for the kill. Instinctively she retreated, moving back until the door lodged against her spine. He continued to move in, slowly but ferociously, invading every inch of her space until he was standing directly in front of her. She craned her neck to meet his stare, refusing to bow down.

“Is that a no, Penelope?”

She couldn’t think with him so close but she held strong. "Yes."

“Even though you’re in love with me and not fucking Arthur.”

Maybe he thought throwing her love back in her face would embarrass her into submission but it had the opposite effect. Infuriated, she stood on her tiptoes to glare up at him. "So what? You think you can use my feelings to manipulate me?" She shook her head no. "I have dreams that matter to me far more than my love for you. And I will not jeopardize my chance to achieve them just for scraps of your attention."

Her words were meant to provoke his temper so he would withdraw. Instead his eyes softened as he hunched lower to look at her, his gaze roaming languidly over her face, a gentleness to them that made her insides dance with anticipation. She trembled when his hands cupped her cheeks while he studied every inch of her features, as if marking her in his memory. And then his thumb gently brushed over her pout, his dark blue eyes following the tremor of her lips, and all she could do was breathe slowly, tentatively, her heart drumming in her chest.

“I used to think you were the sweetest person I knew. Always so kind and agreeable,” he murmured, more to himself than her. “And easily forgotten.”

It hurt. Even though she had always known that that’s how people viewed her, if they bothered to see her at all - but to have him admit it was a different kind of pain. “Then forget me. Leave.”

He didn’t move, his gaze concentrated on her lips, thumb stroking left to right, right to left. “And now I can’t get this impertinent mouth of yours out of my head.”

It came as a shock when she realized Colin was hard, his erection pressed against her body. "You're aroused."

He met her eyes. “I’m aware.”

She swallowed audibly. “Why?”

Irritation surged through him. “You’re here, dressed in a robe with your beautiful hair down, talking to me, arguing with me, breathing around me, and you ask me why I’m aroused?” His hands slid down her body until they were at her waist, fingers curving into her sides as he pressed her tightly against him.

A faint gasp escaped her lips feeling his hardness.

“I want you, Pen,” was his raw, throaty plea. “I can’t stop.”

“Show me.” Her voice was firm, determined. “Show me how much you want me.”

To be contined...

A/N - Thank you for the support on this fic. Hope you're still enjoying it!

#polin #colin x penelope #penelope x colin #bridgerton #my fics

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queen-haq · 25 days

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lol thank you, hun! I'm happy you're reading the fic :)

Fic: Never You (Penelope x Colin) - Part 5

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

Part 5

“Open the door this instant, Penelope!”

Hearing the banging on her door and her mama’s voice yelling from the other side, Penelope quickly put away her writing materials. The newest Lady Whistledown column sheet was almost ready. She had planned to complete it while Prudence and Portia were busy entertaining callers this afternoon only to be interrupted repeatedly. Irritated, she walked to the door and opened it, allowing Portia Featherington to barge in.

In her mother’s hands was a lovely bouquet of lilies which Portia placed on the nearby desk.

“The Bridgerton boy is here.” There was no mirth on Portia’s face, her striking eyes gleaming as she confronted Pen.

“Is he?”

“Which, I know, you’re already aware of because Mrs. Varley came up here to inform you.”

Pen kept her mouth shut.

“Is there a reason you turned down his invitation for a promenade?”

“I don’t feel well.”

“Not good enough, Penelope! When a gentleman comes to call on you, you must always say yes!”

“Even on our deathbeds,” Pen muttered under her breath.

“Yes, even then,” Portia retaliated. “Martha!” She screamed, calling for Penelope’s maid. “Wear something suitable for your walk with that boy. There will be others who see you in the park.”

“I thought he left?”

“Fortunately, he did not.”

“Mama, he’s not courting me. We’re just friends. You know that, right?”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s a Bridgerton. Where he leads, others will follow and that is the only thing working in your favour in your advanced age.”

And with that statement Portia stormed out, leaving Pen alone with Martha in her chamber.

“These flowers are beautiful, Miss. I’ll put them in water.”

Pen watched as Martha busied herself with the vibrant, varying colors of the bouquet. In one of their letters she had mentioned to Colin about her newfound appreciation of lilies, and apparently he had kept that in mind.

“Shall I fetch the orange dress for you, Miss?” Martha asked, returning to her.

“No, the pale green one please. And the matching shawl.”

As Martha scurried about, Pen took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

***

Penelope exited her home and headed down the stairs, Martha following behind her. Her mother was watching them through the window, taking note of everything going on, and Pen didn’t want to give her mama anything new to harp about. Colin, of course, was using her reticence to his full advantage. He stood on the sidewalk, a wicked smirk on his face, looking more handsome than any gentleman had a right to. Pen ignored the flutter of butterflies in her stomach, reminding herself how angry she was at him. What she wanted to do was take him to task for calling on her when she repeatedly asked him not to. Instead, she was forced to greet him with a stiff smile.

“Mr. Bridgerton,” she said coldly, stopping in front of him.

His smirk transitioned into a full smile. “Pen,” he said with a deliberate languid drawl, trying to goad her no doubt.

“Mama is at the window.”

“I’m aware.” Colin’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Shall we promenade?”

Penelope glanced over her shoulder and found her mother watching her like a hawk. She turned back to Colin. “Forcing me into this wasn’t very gentlemanly of you.”

He quirked his eyebrow. “Perhaps I’m no longer a gentleman.”

“Maybe you never were.”

She wanted to offend him but he seemed impervious to her taunts, instead offering her his arm for their walk together. Aggravated, she ignored him and started down the path by herself. Within seconds he was next to her, his long strides now matching her own pace, with Martha following behind them.

“Did you like the lilies?” Colin asked.

��I did not.”

He simply smiled. “That’s unfortunate. Maybe I’ll bring roses in the future.”

“Absolutely not!” she huffed. “Mama will get the wrong idea.”

“We are friends, Penelope,” he reminded her. “Friends give each other gifts. We’ve exchanged them in the past.”

“Never in front of Mama!”

“And I’ve visited you before,” he insisted.

“No, you haven’t. We’ve always only spoken at your home or social gatherings. In fact the only other time you came with flowers was to call on Marina.” The grimace on his face made her heart squeeze with envy. Even after all this time simply saying her cousin’s name evoked such a strong reaction in him. But as much as the idea of him still harboring feelings for Marina hurt, she wasn’t going to let pain distract from her focus. “I can’t have you encouraging foolish ideas in Mama’s head.”

He clenched his jaw, agitated. “Is this really about Lady Portia or are you worried your mystery suitor will get jealous?”

She stopped midstride, turning to level him with a hostile glare. “He knows there’s nothing between you and me.”

Colin took a step towards her. The blues of his eyes darkened, blazing with emotion. “Even after last night?” His voice was a throaty murmur, his words only meant for her ears.

Her heart quickened, His gaze drifted down to her lips, pausing momentarily, as if he was remembering touching her, the feel of his hot mouth on her skin. And then his sight travelled lower, to where he licked and kissed her chest, and the lovebites he left on her breasts that she had to scrupulously hide behind a scarf this morning lest her mother noticed. The way he was looking at her set her body on fire, she felt it intimately between her legs.

They were surrounded by people, yet it felt like it was only the two of them. As she found herself drowning in the depth of his eyes, the world ceased to exist.

And then the image of his panic-stricken expression flashed through her mind, reminding her of how horrified he was after kissing her.

Instantly she pulled away, turning away from him. She started walking faster, trying to regain her composure in the few short seconds it took for Colin to catch up to her.

“You can’t pretend it didn’t happen, Pen.”

“You’re right, I can’t. But that doesn’t mean I’ll allow a moment of foolishness to sway me from what’s important.”

“I know you. You wouldn’t have kissed me that way if you really loved someone else.”.

It was the conceit in his words that infuriated her. “Is that so, Colin?” She turned to confront him. “Didn’t you proudly claim to have flirted with half the women in London? I’m sure you’ kissed many of them. Will you stand there and tell me you cared for all of them? That all those ladies held a special place in your heart? Or will you be honest and admit a kiss can just be a kiss without it meaning anything?”

His eyes narrowed onto her. “Do you expect me to believe our kiss meant nothing to you?”

“Don’t treat me like a naïve debutante, Colin. I’m fully aware passion can exist without love.”

“But that wouldn’t be true for us, would it?” He didn’t move, yet it felt like his body swayed closer, encroaching on her personal space, making it impossible for her to think. Even breathe. “Because there is love between us. There always has been.”

Her heart pounded in her chest. For so long she’d yearned for his love, ached for it. Over the years there were so many times she thought herself a fool for even thinking he could love her. But then he would seek her out in a crowd to dance with her, they would talk about things they dare not discuss with others, and the hope in her heart would bloom despite her insecurities. Just like it did now. “Speak clearly, Colin. Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you. I’ve loved you since we were children. You’re my dearest friend.”

“But are you in love with me?”

“Are you?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. There were children playing in the park, families around them talking and laughing. Yet all she felt was Colin’s piercing gaze tear through her, the air thick with tension as the minutes ticked by. “Yes. Even though I desperately wish I wasn’t.”

His face ran the whole gamut of emotions, from utter shock to panic to fear. “I… Pen…”

“You’re not in love with me,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“No.”

His response didn’t come as a surprise, she had always known the truth. And despite the pain that wracked through her, she felt relief. Because she would no longer have to wonder. Now there was certainty and it brought with it a strong desire to move on.

There was much trepidation in his voice as he spoke next. “I’m sorry if I-”

“There’s no need to apologize.” Her voice was calm, steady. “You haven’t done anything wrong.” She glanced behind him, her eyes absently taking in the view behind. “We can’t help who we love.” There was a numbness that slowly spread through her, enveloping her heart, her very being.

“I care for you, Pen. And I know you, you’re kind and sweet and want to see the best in people. Which is why I’m worried-.”

“You don’t know me,” she replied, snapping out of her daze. His face came back into focus, along with the rest of the world. “Not really. You’ve only seen certain facets, parts that I’ve chosen to show. I’ve always been so worried about what others would think, of being palatable to my family, to you and Eloise, to society… and for what? What was even the point?” She started pacing, her mind reeling.

As much as she aspired to be good, she could never fully commit to it. Lady Whistledown was borne from the part of her that wanted retribution against the ton for always ignoring her. In the clear light of day she was voiceless and unwanted, but in the shadows was where she thrived, where her words meant something and she had value and control. There was a time when she used to think the different parts of her could coexist and she could still be more good than bad, but Eloise’s words during their last argument proved otherwise.

“What are you talking about?” He blocked her path, forcing her to look up at him. A confused expression marked his beautiful face. ”I’ve always known who you are.”

She peered up at him. Everything he said about her – kind and sweet and only seeing the best in people – was actually true of Colin himself. He deserved someone who was equally beautiful and kind, and that would never be her. “You’ve been a good friend, to me and my family. And I appreciate your concern but I can look out for myself. Arthur is a good man-”

“Arthur?” The sudden vitriol in Colin’s voice was sharp. “Arthur what?”

“That’s not important,” she said dismissively. “What matters is you no longer have to worry about me, Colin. I absolve you of that responsibility.”

“You do, do you?” Anger laced his voice, his eyes growing dark with contempt. “Because of this Arthur?” He took a step forward, crowding her, the proximity between them so close that she could feel his breath humming her skin, could almost feel the touch of his fingers against her gloves. “Tell me, Penelope, does he know you? Did you show him all the parts of you that you claim to have kept hidden from the rest of us?”

Irritation surged through her at his mocking tone, but she reminded herself to be patient. “He understands me better than most.”

“A man you’ve known for mere months?” Colin’s eyes glistened with fury. “Why does he get that privilege? What has he done to earn your trust so easily?”

The hate in his voice took her by surprise. “Why are you behaving this way, Colin? I thought you would be happy for me.”

Jaw clenched, anger masking his features, his eyes roamed over her face. “You expect me to live a life without you in it and be happy about it?”

“So what should I do, be a spinster for the rest of my life to appease you? Do you not see how selfish that is?”

“I don’t give a damn!”

Penelope noticed the glances thrown in their direction, the look of concern in Martha’s face. Even though Colin hadn’t raised his voice, the tension on his face made it clear they were having an argument. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm him down. “This isn’t who you are, Colin.”

“Isn’t it? Maybe it’s you who doesn’t know me.” He dipped his head lower, his eyes smoldering with rage. “Maybe I’ve always been unreasonable and selfish. Maybe I’m willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people who matter to me.”

She didn’t know if the threat in his voice was deliberately meant to scare her but it elicited the opposite reaction, provoking her anger. “You’re not my guardian or my protector. I’m not your responsibility. I don’t need anything from you.”

Instead of backing off, his voice grew more determined. “You don’t have a choice in this matter, Penelope. I will not lose you.”

“Except I’m not yours to lose. I do not belong to you. You don’t get to make demands on me when you don’t even love me,” she reminded him coldly. “I will marry the man I choose and live the life I want. And it’s you who has no say in that matter.”

Feeling strongly in her resolve, she turned and walked away.

To be continued...

A/N - Thank you for reading. If you have the time, I'd love to read your feedback!

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queen-haq · 29 days

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Stunning work 👏

Some quick polin because yes , we’re excited 😊

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queen-haq · 1 month

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While waiting for GY new chapter I gathered all my courage and read AWR. After AWS I wanted them to stay in this bubble, didn’t want them to go through tragedy anymore. OMG 🙈. I am addicted. How do you manage to write the characters the way that you want to punch them in the face and then to cradle? My heart sinked so many times! But still this is sooo addictive that you just cannot stop reading. Thank you for beautinful fics. Honestly I love them!

Aw, thank you for giving it a chance despite your hesitations. I completely understand why you didn't want to read it but I appreciate that you did!

I'm lucky to have supportive readers like you 💖 💕 💗

#Awr feedback

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queen-haq · 1 month

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Fic: Never You (Penelope x Colin) - Part 5

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

Part 5

“Open the door this instant, Penelope!”

In her mother’s hands was a lovely bouquet of lilies which Portia placed on the nearby desk.

“The Bridgerton boy is here.” There was no mirth on Portia’s face, her striking eyes gleaming as she confronted Pen.

“Is he?”

“Which, I know, you’re already aware of because Mrs. Varley came up here to inform you.”

Pen kept her mouth shut.

“Is there a reason you turned down his invitation for a promenade?”

“I don’t feel well.”

“Not good enough, Penelope! When a gentleman comes to call on you, you must always say yes!”

“Even on our deathbeds,” Pen muttered under her breath.

“I thought he left?”

“Fortunately, he did not.”

“Mama, he’s not courting me. We’re just friends. You know that, right?”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s a Bridgerton. Where he leads, others will follow and that is the only thing working in your favour in your advanced age.”

And with that statement Portia stormed out, leaving Pen alone with Martha in her chamber.

“These flowers are beautiful, Miss. I’ll put them in water.”

“Shall I fetch the orange dress for you, Miss?” Martha asked, returning to her.

“No, the pale green one please. And the matching shawl.”

As Martha scurried about, Pen took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

***

“Mr. Bridgerton,” she said coldly, stopping in front of him.

His smirk transitioned into a full smile. “Pen,” he said with a deliberate languid drawl, trying to goad her no doubt.

“Mama is at the window.”

“I’m aware.” Colin’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Shall we promenade?”

Penelope glanced over her shoulder and found her mother watching her like a hawk. She turned back to Colin. “Forcing me into this wasn’t very gentlemanly of you.”

He quirked his eyebrow. “Perhaps I’m no longer a gentleman.”

“Maybe you never were.”

“Did you like the lilies?” Colin asked.

“I did not.”