queer-dumpsterfire

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

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Any day now

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(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

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oh mine god, i accidentally hath sent thou a picture of mine cock and balls...prithee delete it!! 'Lest...thou desire to look? haha I jest, delete it...should thee crave... haha nay, banish it...'lest?

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lets play wordle _____

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may have secured funding

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compilation of texts my mom has sent me when my cat is wailing outside my room and i haven’t opened the door for her yet

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I don't care, he is my new babygirl

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my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

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my unique observation

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Wage slave markiplier considered nsfw

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I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

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"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

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what are we even saying anymore

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