queer-praying

[queer-praying]

Hi, all! It's been a minute, but I have an update! First of all, thank you @queerorthodoxy for your insight!

I finally did it! I finally worked up the courage to actually go visit an Orthodox church in my area! I went on a Saturday, after doing some research on which ones in my area had services on Saturday. I arrived way too early because I could barely sleep the night before, and my hands were shaking the entire walk inside.

But everyone was so kind! I talked to the guy at the reception desk who told me I was, in fact, about 15 minutes before Orthros and no one was here yet (I mistook the cars in the parking lot for parishioners instead of clergy/staff, which was my first of many rookie mistakes). He asked if I was Orthodox already, to which I told him no, but that was more of maybe not yet and it was a path I was interested in exploring.

So maybe it was a happy accident that I was that early.

I was worried about sticking out, and I definitely did. A lot. I was one of 4 people under 40, one of which was the priest. So there was no chance of me blending into the background and word got around quickly of me being a new inquirer, but that ended up not being as bad as I had imagined, since everyone was so so so welcoming.

Between the Orthros and Divine Liturgy services, the same staff guy from the reception desk came over to me and gave me a welcome bag, which took me completely by surprise. I call it my "starter kit", pictured below:

Name and location of the church has been blocked for privacy ^^;

He had said there was some additional reading to get me more acquainted, but I didn't realize how generous of a "starter kit" this was until I was able to pull everything out in my car. I had expected some pamphlets, not a book, a prayer rope, and an icon!

I loved the chanting, I loved the incense, I loved the people, I loved feeling like I was in a church. I don't mean to harp on my non-denom church, but, at least from the inside, if I didn't know any better, I would think I was in a school auditorium, concert hall, or maybe even night club. There's no crosses, no anything which never really sat well with me. Just screens. We live in such a screen-heavy society, I really appreciated at the Orthodox sanctuary had no screens.

I tried to follow what I saw everyone else doing, but definitely missed some cues, but I think that might be part of the learning curve, and as I'm able to go more often, I'll learn it.

All this to say, do I think I'm going to pursue membership? I'm not sure yet. It's too early to make that call yet. But my first experience was definitely positive and I am interested in finding a time to return.

so in other news!

I have been doing research on Eastern Orthodoxy, mostly for writing a book that was set in Russia, and the characters are Russian Orthodox. But I'm kinda vibing and trying to decide if it's something I want to pursue in earnest for myself?

Granted, I was raised nondenom/protestant so there's quite the difference, but I've had kind of a curiosity about it for a long time. I went to an Orthodox Good Friday service with a friend many many many years ago, and remember being awestruck by it. I was also about 14 at the time and didn't have resources or the needed attention span to pursue it further.

So I'm doing some reading and needed somewhere to yap about it. I've mentioned it in brief passing to one or two friends, and once to my mother who I think thought it was under the context of writing research.

But my family is a bridge I will cross if/when the time comes. I'm not too worried about it, but know my dad will GRILL me with theology questions so I need to be ready for that.

I think my mom is of the mindset of "baby, whatever will help you find peace" and you know? Maybe it will. Time will tell. Research will tell.

Again, I needed to yap about my musings. 😅

[queer-praying]

just heard a coworker say "I know this thing wouldn't even work for Jesus" about her printer

[queer-praying]

rebuild your life as many times as you need to. start over as often as you want.

[queer-praying]

firm believe that not everything happens for a reason, sometimes things are just cruel. and they shouldn’t have happened and it’s not supposed to be a lesson because we never deserved such thing.

[queer-praying]

I pray that I don’t mishandle what I prayed for.

[queer-praying]

guys jesus is trending on twitter

jesus and the samaritan woman at the well

[queer-praying]

The world tries so hard to shame the poor for not having wealth but my God was a homeless carpenter so I don't really care about that

[queer-praying]

He be talking

[queer-praying]

Radical empathy and love is incredibly hard and I will fail over and over again but I also think it's the most important thing you can do

[queer-praying]

Have faith

[queer-praying]

so you f*cked up. you will a lot in life. but then you’ll recover and do better.

[queer-praying]

Keep praying!

[queer-praying]

Prayer works

[queer-praying]

Trust God’s timing

[queer-praying]

Who up mementoing they mori

[queer-praying]

God can turn ANY situation around.

[queer-praying]