queerkris

[queerkris]

[queerkris]

dick makes people mentally ill. dick havers, dick wannabes and dick lovers are all insane. it's like toxoplasmosis, you have compulsive need to defend and push and worship dicks all the time and spead your dick mania to everywhere you go.

this seems rational and grounded in empirical evidence

[queerkris]

knew this woman who used to be a gay man and when he was a gay man he liked ‘ironically’ referring to himself as she/her and so when he came out as a woman he decided the next logical step was to also switch his pronouns to he/him.

[queerkris]

[queerkris]

“Whip It” with every first beat removed

[queerkris]

- Don’t Woof…

- Woof..

[queerkris]

[queerkris]

[queerkris]

This is just drip.

[queerkris]

me when random people ask “but if youre a lesbian why are your pronouns they/them” or “how can you be a lesbian if youre not a girl”

[queerkris]

I will not take an edible at 11:23pm on a tuesday. I'm normal

[queerkris]

I'm here.

I'm queer.

I'd like to go back to bed now.

[queerkris]

Last night I was talking to my boyfriend, and I couldn’t think of the word ‘library’, so I said ‘book ranch’. He thought it was hilarious and started making up alternative names for ‘librarian’.

“Cowbook! Like cowboy! No…Readcher? Like Rancher? No, fuck this is hard…”

and just now I heard him yell “BOOKAROO” from the other end of the apartment in the most triumphant tone of voice i’ve ever heard

[queerkris]

turn the sound on and immediately noclip straight into hell

[queerkris]

he outgothed us all, decades before most of us were even born. when will your fave

[queerkris]

[queerkris]

new idea: the hyper bowl

it’s like the super bowl but 

you have two football fields placed in a cross formation

four teams play at once 

whatever happens in the middle happens