quetzalcoatlas - Tumblr blog

[quetzalcoatlas]

of course they killed my ass with lightning magic

[quetzalcoatlas]

asking for advice on reddit.com

[quetzalcoatlas]

This blog has been telling you not to trust pelicans for over a decade and this is why

[quetzalcoatlas]

[quetzalcoatlas]

[quetzalcoatlas]

Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.

[quetzalcoatlas]

if anything else happens to me i’m not enduring it. somebody else do that

[quetzalcoatlas]

just got fired from my job reading erotic fiction for audiobooks because i kept pronouncing “penetrates” like it was a greek philosopher

[quetzalcoatlas]

found footage horror film

agitated girl: mike put the camera down

mike: He ha why its a home movey

[quetzalcoatlas]

A dick in the ass is worth two in the pussy

[quetzalcoatlas]

those amigara fault guys don't tell you this but you can actually just go back in the way you came and get untangled lickety split

[quetzalcoatlas]

Settings > Meals > My Sandwich > Configure My Sandwich

[quetzalcoatlas]

Wow has anyone noticed that everything needs to change

[quetzalcoatlas]

the white-green gradient of a freshly chopped spring onion…. c'est magnifique

[quetzalcoatlas]

entering this great new phase of my life where, when someone treats me like shit, instead of going "oh man I guess I'm a piece of shit" I can whole-heartedly go "christ alive, what is wrong with you? you can't treat people like that" and it may sound simple but it took a long time to get here and there's no fucking way I'm going back

[quetzalcoatlas]

[quetzalcoatlas]