quietlyme - Tumblr blog

[quietlyme]

Social Security includes the number for a suicide hotline on the envelope they use to tell me they have decided to deny my disability

There’s a depressing ass poem hiding in here, but im too tired to put it together.

[quietlyme]

It's still kinda wild how Phineas and Ferb managed to completely hijack an idiom. Now whenever someone hears a sentence leading with "If I had a nickel for everytime [...]", odds are their brain auto fills with "I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice," rather than "I'd be rich," or "I could [action that requires purchasing something requiring an obscene amount of money]". Y'know, what the idiom originally was

[quietlyme]

an unfortunate side effect of growing up autistic is that everyone always mistook my bluntness for rudeness n now whenever I do any sort business communication I overcompensate for my default absence of tact by speaking like a late 19th century dandy. this appears to be something I am unable to turn off despite my many efforts

[quietlyme]

[quietlyme]

Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

[quietlyme]

libertas perfundet omnia luce

[quietlyme]

You ever have a random thought that's not intrusive, but somehow simultaneously so instinctive and so detached from your regular everyday life, that you vaguely figure it was probably just an ancestral spirit possessing you for a second?

I was baking an apple pie for fun, freehanding cardamom by vibes alone. And a thought pops into my head, must not be wasteful with them, spices are expensive. And I had to halt right there for a second. Why would I feel financial guilt about the amount of seasoning in homemade goods, when I spend money on far more frivolous shit every single day? My own weight in cinnamon would cost less than my rent.

Thank you for your concern, Maarit from the 1600s, but trust me, we're good. I can measure this cardamom with my heart and not the scale.

[quietlyme]

[quietlyme]

Bats are literally just tiny Dragons

[quietlyme]

Social anxiety has me thinking dumb stuff like “if I go in this store when they’re closing in an hour the employees will hate me and want to kill me” which is especially dumb to think bc I worked retail before, it’s only like the last 20 minute that they want to kill you

[quietlyme]

when i came out as trans i had an old friend from my church days message me to congratulate me and ask me for my name and pronouns. and i was shocked tbh cause he was such a head-deep-up-the-church’s ass kind of guy so i was super wary.

and after digging a little deeper i found out that he was very supportive of transness, saying that trans men are men and trans women are women

BUT

he also believed in the church’s gender roles meaning that trans women had to marry men and be submissive wives and trans men had to marry women and be strong christian husbands.

which is like ????

the weirdest and most surreal form of trans inclusive misogyny i’ve ever seen.

[quietlyme]

obsessed w/him actually

[quietlyme]

[quietlyme]

[quietlyme]

felt an urgent need to share some toast appreciation

[quietlyme]

desktop tumblr: the physical world

mobile tumblr app: realm of thoughtforms and dreamlogic

[quietlyme]

It's important to drink a lot of fluids when you're sick so that your body has the raw materials to generate gallons of snot.