quirkybird

[quirkybird]

the canadian government has added to its collection of dangerous sexual enhancement products. there are now 467 items on this list. yeah these can absolutely kill people. they also, however, have some very funny names.

[quirkybird]

y'all it's about to get really fucking humid and hot

[quirkybird]

Water goblin

[quirkybird]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT GROUP ONE *FINALS

*The winner of this matchup will represent their bracket in the inter-group finale poll(s).

PROPAGANDA:

[Dean]

"hes so breedable. hed be such a good mom."

"we need a supernatural sequel somehow."

[Grunkle Ford]

"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."

"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.

reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.

one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"

so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."

"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

[quirkybird]

snoopy of the day

[quirkybird]

one thing I really like about my relationship with my boyfriend is that we can express negative feelings about each other's actions without assigning blame or requiring apology. I mean like for morally neutral things like "it drives me crazy when you leave a wet towel on the floor instead of hanging it up"

cause now like instead of "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drive you crazy, I'm terrible and unsocialized" or "um well that's dumb, who cares" it's like

"it does? I didn't know that. how come?"

"because it will mildew and I keep tripping over it and I don't know whether you intend to reuse that towel or whether it needs to go in the wash"

"okay so usually if I intend to reuse it I hang it up, and if it needs to go in the wash I drop it on the floor. I guess because I thought I shouldn't put it in the hamper because it would get all the other dirty clothes wet and then THEY might mildew before we do the laundry."

"that's valid. what if we have a specific place to hang wet towels that need to be washed? how about this one hook here"

"perfect!"

no hurt feelings, nobody being made to feel shitty and sloppy on one hand or uptight and bitchy in the other hand. just, we're partners right? let's workshop this

[quirkybird]

if you’re someone who has to wear glasses every day that makes them basically the most important item you own which means you really gotta show those fuckers who’s boss just toss them everywhere and knock them off things and roll over them in bed at least twice a week

[quirkybird]

Via dindin.inparis

[quirkybird]

who are u really

[quirkybird]

in the bed. straight up "hugging it". and by "it", haha, well, lets just say. My blahaj

[quirkybird]

fun shark fact

trans people are cool

[quirkybird]

I put my trains flag infront of my closet so when the demons come out, they know it’s a safe space.

[quirkybird]

Talkmodachi is a tool created by dylanpdx on Github that allows you to use the US Tomodachi Life text-to-speech in order to say whatever you would like! This tool is built directly off of the game itself and is therefore completely 100% accurate. The developer is currently still working on the projects documentation, including for singing, so if you are interested then be on the lookout for any updates!

[quirkybird]

[quirkybird]

À votre avenir radieux 🌺

[quirkybird]

Tomodachi Life for 3DS now finally has a gay mod, happy pride month