quoth--the--raven - Tumblr blog

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— Fiona Apple

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[Fig. 01 Mikuchondria]

The powerhouse of YOUR cell

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catch me if you can !!

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40th Anniversary Discworld stamps, art by Paul Kidby

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Teen Magrat, complete with excessive kajal and mystical jewelry, finally completes my "Young Witches of Lancre" series.

Hop on my Instagram

Shop for my shit on Inprint or Redbubble

Support me on Ko-fi

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HAPPY GLORIOUS 25th EVERYONE GO GRAB YOURSELF SOME FREE STICKERS !!!! TODAY ONLY HEEMHEEM

(I’m using a google form bc kofi doesn’t have a free option for physical items </3)

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For the Discworld designs series, the witches of Lancre

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One of the two* legends about the founding of Ankh-Morpork relates that the two orphaned brothers who built the city were in fact found and suckled by a hippopotamus (lit. orijeple, although some historians hold that this is a mistranslation of orejaple, a type of glass-fronted drinks cabinet). Eight heraldic hippos line the bridge, facing out to sea. It is said that if danger ever threatens the city, they will run away. * The other legend, not normally recounted by citizens, is that at an even earlier time a group of wise men survived a flood sent by the gods by building a huge boat, and on this boat they took two of every type of animal then existing on the Disc. After some weeks the combined manure was beginning to weigh the boat low in the water so – the story runs – they tipped it over the side, and called it Ankh-Morpork.

-- Terry Pratchett - Pyramids

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hey, anybody want a Pratchett gut-punch?

"Detritus walked in.

They looked at the limp shape in his hands.

He laid it carefully on a bench, without saying a word, and went and sat in a corner. While the others gathered round the mortal remains of Acting-Constable Cuddy, the troll removed his homemade cooling helmet and sat staring at it, turning it over and over in his hands.

...

Detritus stood up. There was something about the way he did it, some hint of a mighty continent beginning a tectonic movement that would end in the fearsome creation of some unscalable mountain range, which made people stop and look. Not one of the watchers was familiar with the experience of watching mountain building, but now they had some vague idea of what it was like: it was like Detritus standing up, with Cuddy's twisted axe in his hand."

-Men at Arms, Sir Terry Pratchett

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““The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.””

— ― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

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There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.

-- Terry Pratchett - Pyramids

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Oh, how glorious a book about Moist von Lipwig reforming the tax system could have been.

Every time I read the following scene from Reaper Man I get a bit sad that PTerry never got to write that specific Moist book.

I just love everything about this scene.

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“The relationship between the University and the Patrician, absolute ruler and nearly benevolent dictator of Ankh-Morpork, was a complex and subtle one.

The wizards held that, as servants of a higher truth, they were not subject to the mundane laws of the city.

The Patrician said that, indeed, this was the case, but they would bloody well pay their taxes like everyone else.

The wizards said that, as followers of the light of wisdom, they owed allegiance to no mortal man.

The Patrician said that this may well be true but they also owed a city tax of two hundred dollars per head per annum, payable quarterly.

The wizards said that the University stood on magical ground and was therefore exempt from taxation and anyway you couldn't put a tax on knowledge.

The Patrician said you could. It was two hundred dollars per capita; if per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged.

The wizards said that the University had never paid taxes to the civil authority.

The Patrician said that he was not proposing to remain civil for long.

The wizards said, what about easy terms?

The Patrician said he was talking about easy terms. They wouldn't want to know about the hard terms.

The wizards said that there was a ruler back in, oh, it would be the Century of the Dragonfly, who had tried to tell the University what to do. The Patrician could come and have a look at him if he liked.

The Patrician said that he would. He truly would.

In the end it was agreed that while the wizards of course paid no taxes, they would nevertheless make an entirely voluntary donation of, oh, let's say two hundred dollars per head, without prejudice, mutatis mutandis, no strings attached, to be used strictly for non-militaristic and environmentally-acceptable purposes.”

- Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man

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Do you see it? Moist running around doing Moist things, the guild leaders and nobles being stressed out of their minds*, wizards shenanigans, and Vetinari being passive aggressive and sarcastic to everyone.

*see also that scene from Jingo ("... these days all I get is moo.")

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Happy Birthday Terry Pratchett!

Every year for Terry Pratchett’s birthday, I like to celebrate by reading one of his books and talking about him.

Terry Pratchett is one of my favorite authors. I first found out about his books in 2012 right after reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I was looking for other books similar to it and Terry’s Discworld series was recommended along with Good Omens by both him and Neil Gaiman.

“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away"- Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett

I read Good Omens in 2013 and fell in love with it instantly. At the time, I promised myself that I would read the Discworld series some day but put it off because of its size (it had 39 books at that point). I didn’t start the series until 2017 and finished the final novel, The Shepherd’s Crown in 2022. Over the years, it went from being one of my favorite series to my favorite series. I cannot recommend it enough. It's incredible.

Terry has been an inspiration of mine ever since I first picked up one of his Discworld books. I read the series mostly in publication order and I personally recommend doing so if you plan on reading the entire series. There are so many ways to get into it. The only book I read out of order was Hogfather because I wanted to read it at Christmastime that first year. It's one of my go-to rereads every year.

Even though I didn't find myself loving the first couple of books, they still had me wanting to read more from this brilliant man. Terry’s writing style is one of a kind and I will never be able to get enough of reading his work. I have read 60 of his books and I plan on reading every single piece of literature he has written. They are insightful, funny, and so damn clever.

Today, I am going to start The Science of the Discworld that Terry wrote with Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen. It is the first book in a four-part series that has Discworld stories mixed with science. I’m interested in seeing what happens and how the wizards accidentally create the Roundworld. The Unseen University books are a mixed bag for me. Sometimes, I really love them and then other times I don’t. Though, I am looking forward to seeing what trouble those old fools cause. I cannot wait to get to the second book because it deals with Shakespeare.

Some of my favorites of his books are: Hogfather, Witches Abroad, Night Watch, Thief of Time, The Wee Free Men, Going Postal, Wyrd Sisters, and Good Omens.

Thank you for the words, Terry. I wish I could have met you. Your ripples will continue on for a very long time. Happy Birthday.

“People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.” Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett

@terrypratchettestate

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The Patrician smiled again and steepled his fingers. "In short, Drumknott, a certain amount of harmless banditry amongst the lower classes is to be smiled upon if not actively encouraged for the health of the city, but what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed? -Terry Pratchett (Snuff)

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Nobody's doing it like Otto Chriek. He's a vampire who has sworn off drinking b-word. He likes hanging out in cellars and hanging from chandeliers. Photography is his passion, and his passion is painful and comes with a high risk of discorporation. He experiments with dark light and philosophizes about the nature of time. He figures out how to create photo plates with hardly any effort. He invents the three-color printing process. He designs a method to auto-reanimate himself. He lays down his life for the team (but then picks it up again*).

*(yes this is a joke from the book, all credit to Sir Terry)

William caught Sacharissa's gaze. Her look said it all: We've hired him. Have we got the heart to fire him now? And don't make fun of his accent unless your Uberwaldean is really good, okay? -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Vell?" he said sternly. "Vot you all looking at? It is just a normal reaction, zat is all. I am vorking on it. Light in all itz forms is mine passion. Light is my canvas, shadows are my brush." "But strong light hurts you!" said Sacharissa. "It hurts vampires!" "Yes. It iss a bit of a bugger, but zere you go." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

William vaguely remembered something someone had once said: the only thing more dangerous than a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with their bedroom door open got channeled into some other interest, with merciless and painstaking efficiency. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Good mornink," said Otto. "Do not movink, please, you are making a good pattern of light and shade." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"I cannot promise an absolutely vunderful job first cat out of zer bag, off course." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Bodrozvachski zhaltziet! …oh, sorry, Miss Sacharissa! Zere has been a minor pothole on zer road to progress…" -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Zer philosopher Heidehollen tells us zat the universe is just a cold soup of time, all time mixed up together, and vot we call zer passage of time is merely qvantum fluctuations in zer fabric of space-time." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

(Sounds kind of like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff...)

"It [dark light] is a light without time. Vot it illuminates, you see . . . is not necessarily now." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"You vanted color, I gif you color," said Otto sulkily. "You never said qvick." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

A couple of bits that are more spoilerish under the cut:

That thing where Otto screams and (sometimes) turns to ash when he takes a picture is particularly funny if you imagine it from the point of view of the unwitting photographic subject, in this case Cheery Littlebottom:

"Ah, a vonderful framing effect!" said Otto, who'd been on the other side of the door. Click! William shut his eyes. WHOOMPH. "Ohhbuggerrrrr . . ." This time William caught the little piece of paper before it hit the ground. The dwarf stood open-mouthed. Then she closed her mouth. Then she opened it again to say: "What the hell just happened?" "I suppose you could call it a sort of industrial injury," said William. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

And the scene where Otto goes up against William's father is just a thing of beauty.

"Ve have people like you back home," he said. "Zey are the ones that tell the mob vot to do. I come here to Ankh-Morpork, zey tell me things are different, but really it is alvays the same. Always zere are damn people like you! And now, vot shall I do with you?" [...] "You think I bite him? Shall I bite you, Mister Lordship? Vell, maybe not, because Villiam here thinks I am a good person." He pulled Lord de Worde close, so their faces were a few inches apart. "Now, maybe I have to ask myself, how good am I? Or maybe I just have to ask myself… am I better zan you?" He hesitated for a second or two, and then in a sudden movement jerked the man towards him. With great delicacy, he planted a kiss on Lord de Worde's forehead. Then he put the trembling man back down on the floor and patted him on the head. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth