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does anyone hve any sin recommendations i just fell from the garden of eden five seconds ago

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I usually default to the Herobrine one but occasionally I claim that my sister was a bear and we used to fight a lot.

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It wimdy

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you wish your bio was this cool.

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i saw a girl on tiktok who put her salt lamp in the dishwasher and didn’t realize it would dissolve, and it’s been on my mind for like 3 days

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California girls we're unaccountable

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Today’s aesthetic: open world RPGs where it’s extremely obvious that the writers didn’t actually intend for it to be super gay, they just straight up forgot that it’s possible for the player character to be a girl.

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mike’s hard bubble tea

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their polyamorous swag

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thanks tumblr, maybe i will try ringworm if you dont have anything else

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I grew up in a country music family, so whenever I visit my parents they’ll usually have a country music station or playlist on, and for the past eight years that’s meant that whenever I visit my parents it’s good odds that I will eventually hear Body Like a Back Road by Sam Hunt.

If you haven’t heard of it, Body Like a Back Road is a country song comparing sex with the singer’s partner to taking a Sunday drive down a familiar dirt road. “Body like a back road/Drivin' with my eyes closed/I know every curve like the back of my hand”

I don’t like Body Like a Back Road. A lot of people don’t like Body Like a Back Road, it did not get very good reviews, but it went on to be the number one country song of the year for both the Canadian and American country charts, and so it persists.

And so for the past few years I have gone out of my way to ruin it for everyone else with a very stupid bit. Whenever I’m at my parents’ place and the song starts, I put on my best impression of a bawdy British aristocrat, the kind of voice that affects port and cigar smoke in the middle of telling an awful joke at a bougie party, and say something like “Yes, she had a body like a back road. She was completely covered in bear scat” or “She had a body like a back road, you know. She had potholes so deep you could sheer a tire.”

It’s not meant to make sense. It’s not meant to be funny. It has never, not even once, gotten a laugh.

My mom texted me today to say “You have wrecked the song for me it came on and all I could think about was your speeches” which means I’ve won

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going for a proto-walk

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I see this headline:

As a former cakewrecks lover, I figured sure, I’ll bite. Let’s see this cake. Literally nothing could have prepared me for this cake. 

They paid $49 for this “frog-themed” cake and honestly no amount of money in the world could be put on this masterpiece:

Keep reading

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I fucking hate it here

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honeycrisp

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