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qytbtch · 4 months
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qytbtch · 4 months
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qytbtch · 11 months
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Keeping things to myself
instagram | prints
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qytbtch · 5 years
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qytbtch · 6 years
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u ever get so into denying that u have insecurities/flaws* that u forget if u have them or not n then u can’t relate to anyone bc that’s a lot of how humans connect w each other n u have accidentally reinforced the worst one which was u are not a human n u can never fully connect :(
*not for no reason, it helps to be impervious to the constant picking that abusive individuals n a largely hostile world does
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qytbtch · 6 years
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WATCH: COMPULSIVE PRACTICE from Visual AIDS
For the 2016 Day With(out) Art, Visual AIDS presents COMPULSIVE PRACTICE, a video compilation of compulsive, daily, and habitual practices by nine artists and activists who live with their cameras as one way to manage, reflect upon, and change how they are deeply affected by HIV/AIDS. This hour-long video program will be distributed internationally to museums, art institutions, schools and AIDS organizations.
From video diaries to civil disobedience, holiday specials and backstage antics, Betamax to YouTube, COMPULSIVE PRACTICE displays a diversity of artistic approaches, experiences, and expectations. The compulsive video practices of these artists serve many purposes—outlet, lament, documentation, communication, empowerment, healing—and have many tones—obsessive, driven, poetic, neurotic, celebratory. COMPULSIVE PRACTICE demonstrates the place of technology, self-expression, critique, and community in the many decades and the many experiences of artists and activists living with HIV/AIDS.
COMPULSIVE PRACTICE highlights subjects ranging from historic actions against government neglect to contemporary issues such as Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) and living with an undetectable viral load. Altogether, the program charts over three decades of AIDS-related video production in the face of the ongoing crisis.
COMPULSIVE PRACTICE is curated by Jean Carlomusto, Alexandra Juhasz, and Hugh Ryan for Visual AIDS. Participating video makers and artists include Juanita Mohammed, Ray Navarro (1964–1990), Nelson Sullivan (1948–1989), the Southern AIDS Living Quilt, James Wentzy, Carol Leigh aka Scarlot Harlot, Luna Luis Ortiz, Mark S. King, and Justin B. Terry-Smith.
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qytbtch · 6 years
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Positive Coping Thoughts
For those who have been emotionally neglected or abused, your head may be filled to the brim with negative thoughts about yourself and the world around you. As I’ve emphasized in my past posts, these negative thoughts come from how you were treated or raised growing up. While you are working toward recovery, it is essential to add some positive coping thoughts to your regular practice. Here are some good positive coping thoughts to tell yourself during times when you become triggered… many of them specialized for those who are healing from emotional abuse/neglect:
I am important and worthy. (Even if my family tried to brainwash me otherwise).
I am ALWAYS deserving of love and respect.
I am a survivor.
The fact I am standing here today is proof of my unquestionable strength.
I will continue to move forward in life with my strength.
I will not tolerate disrespect, violence, or disregard in any of my relationships.
I do not need to maintain relationships with people who do not prioritize me or who actively hurt me.
It is completely okay to cut people out of my life. 
I NEED to learn how to cut people out of my life, as it is a part of my healthy recovery.
I will not overwork myself in my relationships, and give more than I am receiving.
I deserve to receive.
I will strive to live my life with balance.
It is okay to say no.
I don’t need to answer or respond to anyone’s negative thoughts or opinions.
Someone’s negativity is not mine to hold; it is theirs.
It is okay to make mistakes. I am only human. We all make mistakes.
I may feel bad about myself now, but that is only because I have never gotten the chance to discover who I really am.
I deserved so much more than what my parents/family gave me.
I will commit to rising above my parents’/family’s negativity, in order to actualize my true self.
From this point on, I refuse to let anyone hold me back, including my parents/family/abuser.
You can also make up your own positive coping thoughts, but write them down in your journal or put it in your phone–whatever helps you. And pull them out when you need a reminder. It’ll take time to shift your thinking, so expect that, but if you make your positive coping thoughts into a habit, I guarantee you that your mind will eventually start to shift! ♥
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qytbtch · 7 years
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one time i was having a panic attack bc my dad been yelling at me about grades for like 3 hrs straight n i was asking to just be able to like go to my room for a bit bc i couldn't breathe n i was sobbing so hard n my parents said no n i thought i was about to just die so i just got up to go to my room n my dad didn't like that so he caught me on the stairs n was still yelling n he raised his hand to slap me n i just immediately flipped from sobbing to the most concentrated rage i've ever felt n i wasn't scared i was kinda like hoping he did hit me so i could do my very best to kill him n he didn't he just put his hand down n went to his room n my mom was there just watching n she never tried to stop him from saying all those things to me or from hitting me or anything she just watched n she just watched me go up stairs to my room n i bet if i asked she'd say none of it happened but it did
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qytbtch · 7 years
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qytbtch · 8 years
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how one creates a goddess she is remembered as a being of light her shadows are pushed beneath the beds of non believers she haunts their dreams and blesses our own
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qytbtch · 8 years
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I have no idea if this has been posted elsewhere, but I figured I’d share it, as a trauma survivor.
#:(
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qytbtch · 8 years
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im convinced Mary just be off the henny
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qytbtch · 8 years
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qytbtch · 8 years
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Ok so occasionally I put stuff on redbubble. First one was made as a joke and people actually liked it so… I MAAAAY have gotten a little carried away…
Get them here If you want one
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qytbtch · 8 years
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when a white guy gets dreadlocks
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qytbtch · 8 years
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dreaminblackandwrite:
L. A. Banks
Steven Barnes
Octavia Butler
Samuel R. Delany
David Anthony Durham
Nalo Hopkinson
N. K. Jemisin
Minister Faust
Nnedi Okorafor
From: Popular Culture is the center for the Library’s holdings of fiction (including…
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qytbtch · 8 years
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Player 2 is a game about conflict and healing by Lydia Neon.
Play Online
Why Try It: Example of a game that centers “exoludic” player experience (that is, interactions which take place outside of the game’s programmed rules structure); can be a difficult but helpful experience for the player in voicing feelings around unresolved interpersonal conflict.
Time: Ten minutes.
How to Play: Use the mouse to click links and the keyboard to enter information into the text fields. At any time, you can click the “esc” link at the bottom of the screen to stop playing if you need to.
More Info: Player 2 was made for the “Your Enemies Don’t Have To Die For You To Win” #CreativeConflictJam, an event where participants created games that centered alternative modes of conflict resolution. It was created in Twine, a free tool for creating hypertexts, interactive stories, and text-based games.
You can find Lydia Neon at her website or on Twitter.
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