r0sebutch

[r0sebutch]

as long as i'm not pregnant my life is never at its very worst

[r0sebutch]

DNI,.. Unless u Love Meee !!!!

[r0sebutch]

i went to "mad at me" island expecting to find people i knew, something i understood. but when my boat landed, standing upon the shore were a million empty husks wearing my own face. every foot of the island was occupied, and everywhere i went, they watched me with contempt. they never spoke, never breathed. they simply watched. no matter how i grovelled and begged, snarled and cursed, tried to hide or kicked and hit, they simply stared. the hatred in their gaze was inescapable, but i could hardly return it, knowing that their doomed existence was of my own creation. knowing that the hatred was nobody's but my own. in the end i just wept, unable to stand the relentless gaze of my own infinite glare.

the guy who i accidentally cut off in traffic last week was there also

[r0sebutch]

they should really warn you ahead of time about how much of adult life hinges on being able to navigate other Ppls childhoods. Like lot of the time in order to complete a task or even just communicate effectively you need to get a sense of ‘wtf happened to this guy in high school’

[r0sebutch]

there should be an episode of Phineas and Ferb where Doof wants to take OWCA to court for entrapment specifically because they're making him fight a platypus, a species protected by law. and Perry just kinda raised a brow and goes with it because he wants to know how this plays out / he's playing a game of chicken with Monogram because he wants. like. better vacation time or paid sick leaves or something

Doof is fully aware that Perry is Letting This Happen. i dont know i think it could be really funny

[r0sebutch]

damn that's crazy dot com forward slash thanks for sharing

[r0sebutch]

the reason Phineas and Ferb is one of my favorite shows of all time is because adult jokes in other family shows are usually about sex. in Phineas and Ferb they are referencing classic literature and bureaucracy.

[r0sebutch]

I love being out of the loop #notmyloop

[r0sebutch]

Yeah Man I Can Totally Do That Shit For You Its No Problem At All. Its Your Sandwich So I Can Put Anything You Want On It. Coffe Grounds. Batteries. I Don't Give A Shit.

[r0sebutch]

it shouldnt be illegal to kidnap a guy if he looks really sad and you know he would have a better life in captivity

[r0sebutch]

this 4 year old asked me "do you know what dogs hate?" and i said "i dunno, what do dogs hate?" and she replied "they hate when strangers take them away and take all their skin off"

[r0sebutch]

Kidz bop sopranos intro: woke up this morning, had myself some fun

[r0sebutch]

man i have GOT to do this thing. *doesnt do it*

[r0sebutch]

child’s pose ftw in my book when you got to decompress on the bathroom floor

child’s pose also good but crucial element of being frog squatted is go on phone!

[r0sebutch]

things are funnier when you're in a good mood. **remembers i'm on the internet in 2025** And that's a form of emotional manipulation.

[r0sebutch]

Yue Qingyuan really had that one rescued street cat who bit and attacked literally everyone (including him) and Yue Qingyuan just really adored everything about him (including the feral nature) and grew to associate that attitude with his favorite creature ever to exist.

And all I’m saying is that if that was me and my cat one day got back from the vet and was suddenly sweet and kind to everyone (even with me but he didn’t want to pettily sleep on the bed just where I can’t reach to pet him anymore and obviously I am inconsolable about this) that I would be absolutely losing my mind and the vet would never know peace again because are they fucking sure this is my cat??? Because he didn’t even hiss at me when I called him by his beloved nickname which he hates???? The vet would block my fucking number just to get work done.

[r0sebutch]

sometimes you gotta sit naked on the bathroom floor in a frog squat feet flat legs up by your sides knees to shoulders like if slav squatting had no horizontal space to exist and had to go vertical. for your health