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it's october 1! 🫣

i disappeared, but i'm not dead! in fact, i've been writing 💕

since i didn't feel very satisfied with my productivity in august, i decided to focus more on increasing productivity in september. my goal was to write at least 500 words a day everyday.

thankfully, i can say i definitely hit that goal, which means i wrote at least 15,000 words in september. (i wrote more than 500 words most days, but i stopped tracking after i hit that number.)

unfortunately, i also hit a few walls. some walls are easy to scale, and others are so tall that they seem insurmountable. as a writer, coming up against walls is rough. i got stuck (so many times lol), i worked in the wrong direction (and had to throw out thousands of precious words sobs), i created solutions for problems that didn't exist (yet--i firmly believe i will run into these problems and will need these solutions! just later...sometime...eventually...), and then finally i ran into a problem for which i didn't have a satisfying solution.

so that's where i am right now. 😭 since this is my first time writing an interactive story, i'm having to learn new skills along the way. or, in other words, find new solutions. problem is that sometimes a big project like this isn't the best way to learn something new! the struggle's real. but even words that are tossed were still written in the service of practicing, so they're never truly useless words. 😩 sure, it's super demoralizing to do so well writing words only to have to toss them to the side because after having practiced it more, i can see what could work better! but it's also really rewarding to earn that level-up.

goal for october is the same! just more words (at least 500 words a day). i know i have a few asks in the inbox, and i'm not sure when i'll get to them, but i haven't forgotten and will not forget and will absolutely get to them 🥰

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it's september 1! 😩

so i said that i planned to continue trying to write an average of 500 words a day for august, but then i spent the first half of the month feeling depressed because living alone is deceptively difficult 😭 so i gave up having a goal to focus on self-care. thankfully, i'm in a much better headspace 💕

so in august i think i added around 2,000 words story-wise (i didn't keep track in an attempt to not feel so bad about a tiny number 🫣), but i also decided to add a major choice into the first plot beat of chapter one and that set me back a little. i also did some coding and moved my draft from gdocs to scrivener for the corkboard and color coding. in the end, the rest of my writing has mostly been spent on exploring the shared backstory between mc and all the ROs.

definitely the most fun i had this month was answering all of the great asks sent to me. i have a few more asks half-answered in my drafts so uh i guess expect more essays, and once i have those finished, i'll answer the newer asks i've got. thank you for sending them in 🥰

(i'm saving the nsfw asks for after demo release, which i'm planning to be the full first chapter. plan is still fall! but probably late fall.)

for those curious about the change in the chapter, you still arrive home, reunite with your brother, and spend some time with one of your dads, and then that's where there's a shift. i moved the reminiscing for the next plot beat when you arrive at your family's solstice party. instead, i decided to throw in a really fun decision that i won't spoil 🥰

coding-wise, we've got a profile now. also made some more unnecessary design decisions like changing the font and adding more colors. i love vibrant colors, but i know they're annoying lmao i'll definitely include a black/white theme.

here's a preview of what i've got so far, though same caveat as before: any of this design could change between now and the demo. some of it already changed in the last month like twice. i am indecisive as hell when it comes to aesthetics...

(the name on the profile is from a french band called odezenne that i really like if you're looking for a random recommendation.)

plan for september is to go back to writing an average of 500 words a day at least for the first half of the month. unfortunately, i have to work on my dissertation as well and the academic year starts near the end of the month, which means i'll be busy with teaching/grad schooling again. that'll slow me down for sure, so i'm sorry in advance.

ok that's all. until next update 🙃

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approx what time period does this IF take place in/is inspired by?

contemporary

so right now-ish. technology, fashion, media, etc., is all current. but in the story, the world in terms of current events fades into the background because the concerns of a sorcerer are first and foremost with the magical community.

the important part to know is that magic has always existed as a hidden undercurrent in history. the human world is just as violent and hostile to humans as it is to sorcerers (since sorcerers look no different from humans), but protecting sorcerers is the entire reason why the radiant circle exists. to protect sorcerers all over the world, sorcerers have influenced key historical events in human history but subtly so that these events remain seemingly unchanged from real-world history as we know it.

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wait am i dumb, are we supposed to know our soulmates or???

no anon you are not dumb!! 😭😭😭

no one (except me) knows who your soulmates are right now lol they'll reveal themselves slowly to you through the narrative, and there will be some hints along the way.

you can take your guesses who the soulmates are, but i'm not going to tell anyone if they're correct 😊 just know that i haven't introduced the full cast yet and not all of the soulmates are LIs (platonic soulmates! this is something i'm really really excited to explore!).

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💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

answering this set about the mc as s/o in particular.

misses the mc easily: rafa, gazi (easily, super easily), deniz

how they act when mc isn't around:

rafa would feel bored without mc around, so he'd end up going through his days in a sense of ennui and he wouldn't care if anyone noticed. in fact, he'd want people to notice how much he missed mc. he'd tell mc that that he misses them. he'd be really responsive over text or quick to answer mc's call, but he'd also give mc room and wouldn't be too nosy. he'd also send voice notes knowing how sexy he sounds...if he can tempt mc into paying attention to him, he absolutely will do that.

gazi would get a little antsy when mc isn't around. they'd check their phone a little more normal to see if they've heard from mc, they'd get lost in their thoughts thinking of what mc's doing, they'd send more random pictures. gazi would ask if it was okay for them to call every night, would ask if mc wants to stay on the phone and fall asleep together (or do other phone activities that don't involve sleeping).

deniz would be more antisocial than usual. because not having mc around reminds them that they actually don't really like being alone when they don't have to be with you there. ...but mc isn't there, so they're just left a feeling of emptiness. outwardly, they'd act pretty indifferent, bury themself in work and acquiring a new temporary hobby or a new niche research interest to the point where others would notice, until mc returned. they wouldn't contact mc more than necessary when mc isn't around but would always confess to missing mc.

césar is entirely too busy to miss anything or anyone. for him, life always moves forward and there's no time to dwell on what--or who--isn't there. but mc is someone who makes him feel less busy, so mc not being around would be something that'd play in the back of his mind. he'd appreciate if mc kept in contact though, like a text will do to know mc's safe or a one minute conversation just to hear mc's voice. but otherwise he'd let mc set the frequency of contact.

nothing would change at all. she wouldn't get into contact unless it was necessary. she'd likely have made a plan with mc to meet when mc is around, rather than miss mc or spend time thinking about how they're not around. she'd let herself get a little excited before the planned meet if it'd been a while, but that's about it.

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hi!! im sorry for being dumb maybe im just overwhelmed by how amazing and in depth your lore already is (even without the demo out yet) but if mc is the High Guardian who can master all four elements then why they need to meet 4 other souls? do those single souls are also reincarnate and then bind with mc? i'll read ur intro post again but i just want to be sure imo

dear anon you're not being dumb 💕

first, i wanna say that i was really inspired by the idea of different types of soulmates, and i want to explore what soulmates mean in as many ways as possible… so i've made it really complicated in order to do that 🙃 i'm probably the one being dumb here tbh

i'll write and post more on this at some point for sure, but i wanna get a demo out before writing too much lore/backstory.

for your first question:

simple answer is that mc doesn't need to meet the other four souls. mc doesn't need them at all. i'm not afraid to say mc is OP because mc is OP as fuck. but there's a caveat! all that power is locked up and mc has no way of knowing. the guardians are more likely to uncover their memories of their past, and after that, they usually have motivation to help guide mc toward awakening their magic.

for your second question:

mc bound to the four soulmates separately across hundreds of years, so they reincarnate separately from each other and separately from the mc. their individual souls are now always bound with the mc's soul, and because of that, their souls have a tendency to reincarnate around the same time and around the same place as the mc.

...and for the long answer nobody asked me to write...

the caveat and the more complicated answer is that mc doesn't have any magic and doesn't have their memories from their past lives when born. mc has no way of figuring out that they have magic or that they had any past lives or any soulmates. basically a human, mc has no pathway to becoming the high guardian/head of the radiant circle, let alone remembering they're op. that kinda power has to come with some restriction, and in this case, it's that it has to be unlocked and it's almost impossible for mc to unlock it alone.

on the other hand, the soulmates aren't born with their memories, but they are born with their magic. they're able to become important sorcerers without memories of their past lives, and so they have access to and every opportunity to encounter a way for their memories to unlock. once their memories unlock, it becomes easier for them to recognize the mc's soul even if mc hasn't awakened their magic and memory. they're also usually motivated to help mc awaken their true potential. they're also sometimes against it.

nothing is ever easy 😈

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yayyy you're back, i missed you <3

😭😭💕💕💕 this is so nice to sayyyy

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💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

i tried to be more general rather than answer about mc but made a note if there's potential for mc to be their exception. answering the second question first...

believes in love at first sight: gazi

yep just gazi (atp) lmao now for the first question.

out of all of the ROs, gazi is probably the only one who is looking for relationships. they believe in love and want to be in love. they love love. they look for people who are fun to be around, supportive and responsive, and physically affectionate. they look for people they can trust, who can they be completely vulnerable and themself around, who love openly and honestly.

emotionally unavailable #1 césar looks for reliability, dependability. his plans for the night circle include him getting married, having/adopting kids, raising the next night luminary while raising the status of the night circle. if he's going to have a relationship, it likely won't be about love but about realizing his dream and goals. he needs someone at his side who has those dreams and goals as well and can be counted on to walk the path alongside him. if love happens past that, it happens (ofc it will happen with mc).

emotionally unavailable #2 rather than looking for a relationship, rafa tends to chase what's fun, interesting. if he's going to be in a relationship with someone, they'd have to be fun, they'd have to keep his attention and interest. he likes a little mystery. he likes trying to figure out an enigma. in his experience, he usually figures out people pretty fast, and then he gets bored and doesn't let them truly know him. if he falls in love, it'll be with someone who found a way to read him despite all that (and ofc mc knows how).

deniz isn't looking for relationship(s) but hopes that one day they'll find someone who is patient and understanding (or more than one someone, if they're lucky). they know they can get really into their work, that their tunnel vision and hyperfocus might make someone in a relationship with them feel lonely. they need someone who will get that about them and navigate that complexity together. if that means their partner also sees other partners, that's okay with them.

emotionally unavailable #3 noel has been content to live without a single connection in the world for a really long time, and she would be content to continue living that way. there was a time, when she was young enough to still live at home, that she thought she'd fall in love and get married and have kids. she doesn't see that for herself anymore. so in a relationship, she's looking for something that's easy, lowkey, unobtrusive, for someone who'll go with her flow and never get in her way (and mc knows how to be that).

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How would you describe the romance routes in three words? 👀

three words are VERY FEW words...👀

césar: challenging, intense, quiet. rafa: flirty, honest, raw. deniz: easy, lowkey, passionate. gazi: comfortable, electric, sweet. (deniz & gazi: adventurous, caring, complex.) noel: delicate, intellectual, demanding.

and then there's that sixth hidden LI i never mention that i'm most definitely not mentioning right now: angry, destructive, possessive

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What are the ROs voices like?

anon, i must say, this was a hard question lol but i loved taking the time to answer it. i welcome anyone to imagine their voices sounding different than below, but these are the vibes i'm going with while i'm writing.

cesar's voice is low, husky, and tends to be flat. he tends to speak evenly and clearly. when he's mad, he speaks more evenly and clearly, enunciating each word like taking a bite out of it. he speaks faster in spanish but only just noticeably.

rafa's voice is more smooth than it is low, but he has a lot of control over his voice. he's an animated talker, will lower his voice into a ragged tone or go higher when he's really excited while talking. he sounds when speaking spanish.

deniz's voice isn't low but it's definitely not high. there's an ambiguous almost smoker-quality to it. although it wouldn't seem like it, their tone shifts a lot when they're talking; they have a natural rhythm to the way they talk. when they speak turkish, their voice is slightly lower.

gazi's voice is more soft than it is high. it's warm and sultry. the louder they speak, the lower their voice goes. they tend to speak more on the quiet and unhurried side, but when alone with their friends, they can shift into a more fast-talking hoarse new yorker style.

noel's voice is on the higher side and has an authoritative quality to it, especially when teaching. there's something about her voice that makes her always sound like she knows what she's talking about, a cool collectedness. sometimes, this slips away to reveal a simple sense of solitariness. not sad, but not happy...

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🔧 WRENCH - are they good at fixing relationships? or do they tend to avoid doing so?

thank you for the ask; this was really fun to think about and i had to think about this one for a few! sorry for taking so long to reply 💕

good at fixing relationships: gazi, rafa (depending on the relationship)

avoid fixing relationships: noel, deniz, rafa (most of the time)

cba either way: césar, deniz (if avoiding doesn't work)

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Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏 Thank you.

https://gofund.me/198b6d57

absolutely 💕

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Hello,,

My name is Ashraf Alanqar, and I am 30 years old. My wife, Widad Issa, and I have a one-and-a-half-year-old son named Bakr. We used to live peacefully in the Al-Shuja’iya neighborhood, in a house we built just a week before the war began. I worked as a farmer and owned a large chicken farm that provided for my family.

Beloved of my heart (Bakr)

Then the war came and destroyed everything. Our home was reduced to ashes, and our chicken farm was obliterated. We lost our home, our livelihood, and even our basic rights. We've been forced to move from place to place in northern Gaza, simply trying to survive.

My House before...

Me.. while trying to recognize what has happened..

The terror we feel as we flee from heavy bombardment is unbearable. The sound of explosions around us, the constant fear as we navigate through the rubble of destroyed homes searching for safety and food, haunts us every day. My son Bakr is constantly scared and suffers from severe malnutrition and skin diseases due to the lack of food, water, and sanitation.

Our beautiful memories.. :(

We urgently need your help. I am asking for your support to fund this campaign to move my family to a safe place, provide us with a proper home, and ensure we have enough food, water, and medical care.

Baker used to play with his dog.

Your donation, no matter how small, can make a significant difference in our lives. We desperately need your support and solidarity during this difficult time. Together, we can restore hope and safety to Ashraf and his family.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for considering my plea. Your support means more than words can express. Together, we can turn a story of loss into a journey of hope and resilience.

With deepest gratitude,

Ashraf & the Family

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not dead just depressed ☠️ taking time to myself always helps so i'm feeling a bit better. just wanted to be transparent that i haven't disappeared! will get to asks in the next week.

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Profile: César

One of the highest ranking earth sorcerers in the world, César is seen as the unofficial heir of the current Night Luminary—and he takes the role seriously. As your brother’s best friend, he has been a permanent fixture in your life as far as you remember—another persistent reminder of the magic that has remained inaccessible to you and the community that left you behind. He’s at least an attractive reminder, even if it’s unfortunate that his rare smirk proves that he knows it.

Family name: Pico

Circle: Night Circle

Magic: earth

Birth month: November

Birth place: Tijuana, MX (territory of the Kumeyaay Nation)

Education: bachelor's

Occupation: Archumbricar

Favorite place: desert

Favorite drink: beer

Favorite color: he doesn't have one, but he'll say it's brown if asked

Most prized possession: book collection

Handwriting: somewhat unserious looking, simple print

Always in bag: a book and business related paraphernalia

Family: he has a good relationship with his younger brother Rafa, and his father Alejandro and mother Tarhíata are proud of his influence in the Circle; on the other hand, he doesn't have much love for his uncle Tangaxoan or his cousin Eréndira, but he'd still kill for them

Friends: Arseau is his best friend, and he considers his younger brother Rafa a close friend and his guard Damianos an ally; he's not the type to let others know him well enough to call him a friend, though many might claim the title anyway, and you know he has never and will never consider you a friend

Appearance: amber eyes, dark brown hair in a short buzz cut, never clean-shaven, brown skin with a warm undertone, very tall (somewhere above 193cm/6'4"), muscular, lots of tattoos, wears earrings, usually dresses in a bespoke suit, favorite accessory is a simple necklace

Romance: solo-route (with a possible rivalry with his brother), back-and-forth (borderline love/hate), (possible first love), one of the slower burns

You find César's brooding demeanor and deep sense of duty to be intimidating, but you knew him before he became an Archumbricar—when he was just your brother's best friend who made you laugh when you were sad. Those who look up to him call him a hero, the master of his own destiny. His cards in the Major Arcana are the Emperor and the World.

〉 Sections: Profiles, Editorials, Articles, Ask Me, Answers, Quotes

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Profile: Rafa

The younger brother of César....and also his left hand man even though he doesn't take his position within the Night Circle very seriously. He doesn't take anything very seriously except his freedom. Especially his freedom to flirt his way into anyone's good graces.

Family name: Pico

Circle: Night Circle

Magic: fire

Birth month: May

Birth place: Tijuana, MX (territory of the Kumeyaay Nation)

Education: bachelor's

Occupation: High Justicar

Favorite place: the beach at noon on a sunny day

Favorite drink: Mexican Coke

Favorite color: burnt orange

Most prized possession: his collection of nose rings (it's actually his collection of sheet music and instruments, but you keep that secret for him)

Handwriting: slightly more sophisticated than a scribble due to laziness

Always in bag: no bag; he carries a wallet and a pocket knife

Family: he has a good relationship with his older brother César, and his father Alejandro and mother Tarhíata are proud of his influence in the Circle despite his seemingly low-effort nature

Friends: he doesn't consider anyone his best friend, but you are the closest he has to one; otherwise, he's close with his older brother César and Arseau, his brother's best friend; he considers anyone he meets and makes laugh a friend

Appearance: brown eyes, soft curly dark brown-black hair, sometimes has stubble, tan skin with a warm undertone, tall but not as tall as his brother (about 190cm/6'3"), lean, usually dresses in a vaguely skater/surfer/street style, switches between different nose rings but favors septum rings, often with sunglasses

Romance: solo-route (with a possible rivalry with his brother), friends to lovers (but he has always wanted more), slow burn

Rafa’s effortless charm never fails to bring a smile to your face or light up any room, but beneath his playful charisma he carries a deep sense of loneliness and a fear of rejection. His friends call him a charming playboy because of reputation for casual relationships and an explorer because of his desire for freedom in all things. His cards in the Major Arcana are the Fool and the Sun.

〉 Sections: Profiles, Editorials, Articles, Ask Me, Answers, Quotes

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To Taste Sweet Silver

Play here [Updated 8/10/24]

Word count (w/code): 16.9k

[F.A.Q] [Spotify][Pinterest]

"The silver of the fruit tastes sweeter than the iron of the blood." There is a City in the center of the remaining world, said to house and protect the last gift from the Old Gods before they vanished. Your mother had told you stories of it as a child, before she died. No one is allowed to enter the City of Forgotten Silver without extensive documentation and proof they are worthy. Not everyone is allowed to grace divinity. There is no reason for you, a nobody, to be here but you've managed to worm your way in. You know the consequences if you get caught, and you know to keep your head down as often as you can. The risk to be here is great, for the City is desperate to protect what remains of the past. Everyone who has dared to take the Old God's last gift, a fruit with silver skin, has had their execution made a spectacle. For this fruit is the key to reviving the world to what it used to be. Or so it is believed. It's why those in power will do anything to protect it. You know this, but you have a plan to attempt its theft anyway. For without it, how else will you finally bring this world to its end?

To Taste Sweet Silver is an 18+ Gaslamp Fantasy IF about putting a crumbling world to rest.

✽ Play as a fully customizable MC: gender, sexuality, personality, skills, etc.

✽ Decide how you're going to survive in the City; will you fake an identity and do earnest work, rely on thievery, or freeload off anyone willing to take pity on you

✽ Master magic, hone your physical skills, or expand your worldly knowledge

✽ Discover why the Old Gods abandoned the world in the first place, and learn about the New Gods that have taken their place

✽ Decide your reasons for wanting to end the world. Will you really go through with it?

Caspian Sinclair

The City Mage [M]:

A man who's more important then he lets on. The only reason you know he's a Mage is because you sense it on him. Despite his kind but stoic nature, you hesitate to approach him because if he finds out who you are, he will kill you. If only he wasn't also the holder of key information you need. He never seems opposed to answering your questions or pointing you in the right direction, making him your main source of information about the City of Lost Silver. However, the badge he wears reminds you to still your tongue, and watch your questions.

Whisper

The Jester [NB]:

Xer part of a night show, the sort outlawed in the City due to being propaganda about the Old Gods' departure. When xer not part of the show, xe have a traveling food cart xe only run at night. Although it's best not to draw attention to yourself and get involved with someone like xem, you can't help but wonder what's hiding under the mask. Especially with xer strange charm, odd sense of humor, and ability to show up at the worst of times for you.

Vivienne Silver

The Empress [F/trans]:

The youngest Empress ever crowned, and only due to the tragic assassination of her family. She's an elusive figure, never seen in public, but worshiped all the same. The people whisper her suffering is the reason why the City has seen such prosper in recent years, mythologizing her as a martyr. As an outsider, you have no strong opinion of her, until strange circumstances bring you together. She's exhausted and weary and as willing to bite as she is to be gentle.

Mourning

The New God [M/F/NB]:

Your benefactor and the sole reason you managed to get into the City. They found you in the outskirts one day and handed you a pass, telling you they can help you get what you want. You haven't seen them since. They're elusive and strange, and while they claim they're a God, you're not sure they're something quite so holy.

CW: Gore, violence, torture, cannibalism, death, religious trauma, explicit sexual themes, mtc

Note: This is a side project and won't be updated frequently. My main project is Burning Academia!