radiostaticsmile

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strawverrychopsticks on ig

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do u guys want to go on a walk

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🌿 Something is Lurking in the Water 🌿

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Sorry i make all my best posts in the middle of the god damn night

I'm bringing back night blogging. Because I like vintage shit like that

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So much in the yandere tags is subby- which is great but I wanna post dommy yan shit... like no im not gonna get on my knees for you but I will put you in a cage honey

And the dommy posts that are there are like. Don't look at anyone else!! And im like. Polyamorus. Go date all the people you want babe just bring them back so there's more simps for daddy

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Not now kitten daddy got 6 hours of sleep for the third night in a row. Yeah daddy is seeing random color blocks as visual distortion rn. Get the ibuprofen

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My sleep deprived ass is experiencing the begining of fight club. Pray for me I do not experience the Rest of fight club

At least I already know I am a system and i got my eye on these fuckers. No one is building a pipe bomb under my nose. And we sure as HELL ain't selling soap.

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When you stay up too late and you hungry again but if u eat you'll stay up even later

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I think I might be aro too my brain is shattering. Like not just me i think the whole system is aroace and our partner system is aroace and so we just didnt notice

Like this is why i would date any friend who asked bc to me friend feelings were the same as how you feel for a partner its just if you date its basically an agreement to hang out more often and bc im like sexual and romantic action positive including those is like. Ok. But also never saw why only do those with dating person and not any friend. Kinky sex is just friendship behaviour

When i thought i had romantic attraction it was literally just a BPD obsession every time

Like not just me specifically. The entire sytem

Our brain is breaking

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Im fucking aroace going back over my life and looking at the evidence im like how in the fuck did i not realize before. I am screaming. I am laying on the floor

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Would you still love me if I were a worm (parasitic)

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God i think it was confusing that I was aroace because I always *want* to be dating someone bc I attach strongly to them (BPD). But literally I am always sooo excited for them and want them to have a crush on me and so happy when they do so of course I date them but literally every time within five minutes of dating anyone I start to panic like oh god what have I done.

It's like there's a little trap with a treat in it and I trot on over like treats??? For me?? (My NPD traits not helping! Need that attention!) But as soon as I eat the treats the door closes on me and I'm in a cage and I feel the walls closing in and im aaaaaaa

Also when I started dating people they keep like. Starting to act weird after like??? My intention is always to say lets keep doing basically what we are doing but label it dating now to describe the intensity of attachment and to say cute lovey things to each other and kissy (something I would do with most of my friends and kind of had to teach myself not to do so ppl don't think im being romantic). But the other person starts acting different and acting entitled to my time and suddenly being all different and im like aaaa no i wanted to date specifically bc i liked how it already was and was trying to indicate how much i liked it why are you changing it!!!! Aaaa

Anyways the asexual/aromantic panic is real even when you do not know you are aroace. Perhaps even moreso bc you keep Putting yourself in Situations

(The personality disorders are NOT HELPING!!)

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Aroace alastor headcanons!

Alastor is ofc canonically ace and probably aro and i hc him as both, but aroace is a broad spectum and the following is how I hc him to experience it!

1. Feelings twoards touch

it is well known Alastor doesn't like others touching him- however I don't think he is completely touch adverse! He is constantly touching other people (petting Husk, leaning on vaggie), so I think he is okay with touch as long as he initiates it and is in control of how far it goes. I also hc him as autistic, and I think he especially likes petting furry demons for the soft texture! This sometimes gives them the wrong idea though which leads to...

2. Reaction to crushes

I think Alastor purposefully gets people to have crushes on him because he both thrives on attention of any kind and he wants to use other people's feelings to control them. He wants people to obsess over him and want to please him as much as possible. However, as soon as they try to actually ask him out or make too bold a move, he immediately flies into pure aro panic. This can cause him to reject them extreamly harshly and possibly even attack them.

I think it is possible or at least a funny idea that this happened with Vox. I have seen a lot of great art that I love where Vox is asking Alastor romantically, but Alastor interprets it as a platonic business proposal. I think it would also be very funny if Vox was giving a platonic business proposal, and Alastor thought it was romantic and attacked Vox in a aromantic panic state, leading to a very confusing and upsetting day for Vox.

3. Sexual situations

I think Alastor is sex repulsed but kinky. His reaction to Angel Dust's dick sucking offer in the pilot sort of gives me sex repulsed, though he could also just be Shocked someone would talk to someone as powerful as him that way.

However, Alastor is also a sadist and I think he is horny about it. His reaction of 'thats a lot less hot' when told to get rid of the eggbois humanly tells me that he does think of hurting people as sexy. He also likes to be in control and have people pay attention to him in a way that makes me think he would really enjoy domming (his clothes stay ON!) but I don't think he has tried it very much since he probably mainly enjoys his sadism through Literally Murder. I do think he consentually throws nifty around though, since she likes pain and he likes causing it. He doesn't really see it as sexual though, more just using her as a stress ball, though it does excite him and is part of why he likes her. (Nifty however is extremely horny about it).

4. Relationships

Like stated earlier I think Alastor would reject any explicitly romantic relationship especially if suddenly proposed to him, but I think he does get very attached to specific individuals in a way where he kind of feels he owns them. He wants to be close to them and know about them and (unhealthily he is toxic) control their lives to an extent. He would probably enjoy doing kinky things with people he feels this way about and would want to cuddle and hang out and give them gifts. I think he might be a bit uncomfortable if he had a close bond in this way and the other person wanted to label it as dating, be he would probably accept it as a signifyer of how close the relationship is and kinda like it as a mark of that person belonging to him. However if the person changed their behaviour twoards him because of the dating label he would become confused and upset, since he would have thought they were just labeling what they were already doing, not trying to change the dynamic.

This is theoretical because I think he doesn't really open up to people emotionally and when he starts to like someone in this way he becomes more controling in a way that can become abusive (i think this is how he feels about Husk) and it usually makes the person hate him, not have a desire to date him or anything (though his attention on them may give them a confusing mix of positive and negative feelings).

I hope you like my ideas! Obviously I am happy to see differing headcanons but I tried to substantiate mine with show evidence! Though there isn't much to go off in the show so I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out differently :D

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I love having NPD and having NPD friends and we give each other supply on purpose. We are throwing out bird seed for each other

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Sorry kitten. Daddy has entered the nocturnal portion of his sleep phase

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Comparing my voice to the other hosts voice, wanted to hear how different we sounded! First is a standardized sentence so you could hear us say the same thing (THO I FUCKED IT UP SORRY) And the second are just us rambling a bit so you can hear our more natural speaking voices.

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