radwolverine480

[radwolverine480]

so close, and yet so far

[radwolverine480]

i'm riding far and fast into the desert

my steed, a mechanical horse, has no reason for stopping

but it's hot, and i'm sick of always staying in the same position, thick scarf covering every inch of my bodies

the horse is cool to the touch and isn't fazed by an extra thousand ounces sitting on it, and blends perfectly with the evening sands

whoever built it must have been very smart

it never stops, not even if i beg and smash it to pieces

though, if i hop off, i will never be able to go fast again

and as we pass by pockets of water and forests of lush on either side of us, i start to doubt

but, i just have to wait until the desert ends

until i know that what i'm seeing is real, and close

i'll hold tight to the metal, and keep my head down

[radwolverine480]

light shifts through the crack of the door

[radwolverine480]

thank you so very much

for one of the first times ever, it’s nice to touch another person

don’t let me go, please

please and thank you

so very, very much

[radwolverine480]

to reach my sorry hand over yours and pull us close together

was that really my goal?

well, now

now that we are in and of an understanding

please let go.

[radwolverine480]

do over

[radwolverine480]

man, tomorrow's gonna be good

i'll be working so hard i won't be able to see straight

it's not fair that i have to wait so long for this

but even so, i'm glad

everything dies today

[radwolverine480]

while thirsty, and waiting, the pillar overhead hums in delight

the thousand holes drilled into it ring out such a brilliant sound

it's loud enough to keep everyone else away, or at least headphoned

but for a solemn few, brushing the steel and gently poking their fingers inside, unaware of the long-wind

they are drawn to its unexplainable presence

[radwolverine480]

how to have your like, without knowing it

how to keep your trust, without saying it

how to live your life, without seeing it

without seeing you, or speaking to you

and having you respond, a hand diving back into your sideburns hastily as if trying to hide something so painful, gaze feverishly pointed to the changing-shadow you call me

freezing in place, icy hearts and cold breath littering the snowy air...

...we both refuse to look up

[radwolverine480]

if you die, i'll fly to you before your body can hit the ground

if i'm grounded, i'll run

if i'm torn open, i'll crawl

no matter what, let me be next to you, as you draw that final breath

even if you scream, or write, or twitch, i'll be there holding you

a centimeter off the cold concrete floors

[radwolverine480]

it’s fairly cold outside

ah, we've lost, another reprise

a dripping-drop of starlight faith

the specifics of aren't just for waste

o'er worlds and times ago

the last one standing'd like to know

but the lives we've lived, the feeling, oh-

-untainted resentment, to a greyin'-ol snow

[radwolverine480]

there’s no grip on walls when it’s raining

nothing to hold you as you slip gently

the raindrop you hits the pavement and splatters into countless pieces

and sinks deeper still, towards the bottom of the sea

but the bodied you knows better

you have things to do tomorrow

shows to watch, things to read, people to catch up with, money to make

so instead the bodied you sits with a broken umbrella on the crooked ledge

aiming for a better place, without looking up

[radwolverine480]

haah

your deadly prayer echos in my head

only getting louder and more abstract the more it replays

i can't believe this, not today

not now, not ever

haah

i must show you the insides of what you dare to call yours

what you came into this world with

and what you irrevocably get to leave with, too

[radwolverine480]

moreover, what everyone else sees as you is- of course- not

you are the back of a red ribbon thrown carelessly in the shower

you are a clock from a century ago still kept sealed in its same box

you are just one of the many things you'll desire or forget

along the way, like a kaleidoscope, you'll be able to see every part of yourself

along the way, because there is no turning around, or turning back, or wishing for another, or having another, or distance, or time, or "you"

you will die alone

but that doesn't mean you have to live alone, either

smother "yourself" in this temporary time, marking a disaster without words or figure

and laugh, exhaling free

[radwolverine480]

trapped in a house or a world or a body

likened to a certain point of unregard

and still, refusing to die

and still, refusing to-

[radwolverine480]

yes i’m scared

terrified, even

but in these depths, this abyss where all of us pile up like rotten leaves

slowly, we push our way to the light that we still are not equipped to see

and deafening moreso, a gull flaps overhead

[radwolverine480]

dead arms wrapping around a star, pulling it close without getting burned

bleached teeth searing through the flame, slicing a clean cut

they slam into the surface

and suddenly, someone far away calls a ceasefire