rae-appel - Tumblr blog

[rae-appel]

Things I Want My OCs to Say

character a: Kneel.

character b: Okay, do you want a 'I wanna marry you kneel' or an 'I wanna suck your d*ck' kneel? 'Cause I don't wanna do either.

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Thank you mother for your wonderful genes.

-me when I start getting white hairs at an early age

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I'm a sexy cabinet.

-anonymous, 2019

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Christianity has failed me in so many ways. Mainly in resulting in me not being allowed to read Harry Potter.

-me, 2019

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Logic says no but my lack of common sense says yes.

-me, 2019

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Random Conversation #8

teacher: Does it make sense for a woman to take her husband's last name after marriage, and for children to take their father's last name after being born?

random classmate: (agrees and quotes the Bible and says husbands are the head of the household and their wives should listen to their commands)

me internally: welp, guess i'm atheist now

me externally: don't worry, i'll just get a wife instead!

my classmates: (dying)

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Things I Want My OCs to Say

character a: (furiously rubbing their arm with a eraser)

character b: what are you trying to do?

character a: (still rubbing the eraser on their arm) i'm trying to erase myself from existance.

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Things I Want My OCs to Say

character a: i am so glad your parents reproduced to make you

character b: i'm glad it broke

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Things I Want My OCs to Say

character a: do i still have 4.0 gpa? yes. do i still have a will to live?

character a: (stares into empty space for a few minutes)

character a: maybe

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Does my aura scream 'talk to me about your love life' or something?

-me, 2019

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Things I Want My OCs to Say

character a: Don't test me!

character b: we already did

character b: you failed

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Professional cuddlers are basically platonic prostitutes.

-me, 2019

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I couldn't spread my legs to get stuff.

-me, trying to explain why driving in my new pair of sneakers was more difficult than driving in my heels

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Things I Want My OCs to Say

character a: Resistance is futile.

character b: your life is futile

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Random Conversation #7

one straight friend: AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

fellow bi friend: geez, someone sounds like they're being possessed

me: ah, Lucifer has finally gotten to them

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It's my birthday. One year closer to death. Or as I like to say, one year closer to college debt.

-me, 2019

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Random Conversation #6

one straight friend: Hey! Can we talk about chemistry?

me: why don't we talk about our chemistry ;)

one straight friend: No? My chemistry.

(we're in different chemistry classes)

me: i can't even

fellow bi friend: let's talk about our chemistry

one straight friend:...

one straight friend: Oh!

me: ahslgkhjegldk really? that long?