raechelanne2020-blog - Tumblr blog

[raechelanne2020-blog]

I just want you all to know that my cat died a couple of months ago, and that I am still trying to process it by slowly grieving. It is the worst pain imaginable. Plus to top it off, my ex boyfriend and I ended things a while ago, too, and I'm trying to be his friend, but it's been really hard for me to, even though I work with him, and so we're trying to be friendly with and toward each other, but it's just hard, though, because I don't really want anything to do with him, since he's the one who hurt me. No, I didn't cheat, and no, he didn't cheat. We're not cheaters. We just weren't happy. Too many skeletons in the closet, and we weren't friends with each other enough before we got together, so we were having fun (if you know what I mean,) and hanging out and working together and flirting with each other without really going out on dates, or getting to know each other, outside of the texting world. Don't get me wrong, I really don't like talking on the phone, it bothers me. I don't like people listening to my phone calls, even if they are appropriate, but I just don't like people butting in, or putting their noses where they don't belong, so I would just rather not, and it's not anything personal, but I just can't have anything to do with him, especially when he won't spend any time with me. It's frustrating as all get out, because trust me, I tried to make it work. I really did. But when you're in a relationship with someone, you have to put in just as much time and effort as the other person. They can't be giving their all only to find that the other person isn't giving as much as they can give. Now, don't get me wrong, yes, I know that he's been depressed because he lost his dad a couple of years ago, and now he's lost me, but if that person is still alive, and they're still in your life, wouldn't you try to at least make it work out if you really loved that person? You see, he loves my family, but he hasn't sent a single text to me after we broke up, so that really says a lot about his personality, doesn't it? And, yes. I know. They say that you know who your soulmate is, but I don't know. I am almost thirty, and I still don't know, so maybe I don't even have one? I have been with a lot of guys, but none of them get me like that. But back to my cat. She was my best friend. My baby girl. My daughter. And, now she's gone. I had put her through a surgery to get a cancer growth off from her butt, and she died at least two or three times while she was there, at the surgery office. So I told the surgeon that it was time for him to let her go, and I gave the phone to my dad, and started sobbing. Who was I to end the fate of my baby girl? I had no option, though. Her life was over. And, frankly, so is mine. With all of this stuff going on in the world, I keep on thinking that it all is going to be over, but I need my baby girl for comfort. And, she's never going to come back, so this is just another chapter in my life, one that I will have to get used to, especially when things aren't going to change. I will always be numb with the feeling that my life is never going to be the same, but I will be okay, and that's all that matters.

[raechelanne2020-blog]

And, (to end,) I will never give up on you. Because you are amazing. So be the best you that you can most possibly be, because you're wonderful. And, you matter, and you are enough. Plus, you are loved. Also, I am always here for you all, whenever you want or need to talk or vent. Because that's what true friends and family do. They are there for you whenever you want or need someone around for you to talk or vent to, and they are there for you, for life. No matter what. So, just know that I love you all, that I care about you all, that I will never give up on you all, that I am always here for you all, that you matter, that you are enough, that you are amazing, that you are awesome, that you are good, that you are great, that you are wonderful, that you are fantastic, and that you are you, because that is enough to me. Thank you all for being such amazing people, and for all and everything that you have done, and that you continue to do, for me. You are the best. And, I love you. Even with all of your flaws. Because we are not perfect by any means, but I will always love you unconditionally, for forever.

[raechelanne2020-blog]

There's so much to live for in life. There's love, the feeling of being loved, and of being in a wonderful relationship with the best person, ever, of being a good friend to those who deserve it, and who treat you the same, exact way as you treat them, and who actually want each other in their lives, and of being a part of a great family, of having a great family, and of loving a great family, and having the best people by your side, whether it's good friends or family, but just know that if I call you as a part of my family or as a part of my friendship circle, then just please know that you're loved so much, and that you're always enough to me. I will love you for all of the rest of my days, because you matter. I love each and every single one of you guys. No matter what. Because we are family for life, no matter what happens.

[raechelanne2020-blog]

My Life Is Like A Rainbow...Long And Colorful And Beautiful And Worthwhile, And Shiny, And Lovely, And Bright. Ahh, I Love My Life. Live For The Little Things In Life, People, Because A Day Will Come When The Son Is Here, And You Won't Have That Chance, Anymore.