ragedagainst

[ragedagainst]

" i'll make back any credits i lose when i beat your ass in sabacc, " jyn retorts, with no intention of removing any curse words from her vocabulary or contributing to the alleged, and frequently threatened, swear jar ( of which dameron keeps claiming he's going to start and never does ). while her warning of wiping the floor with him in sabacc is completely serious ( the partisans hadn't just taught her how to play -- they'd taught her how to cheat ), her tone remains light, with none of the formality that a normal conversation with a commanding officer may entail. to dameron's credit, he mostly puts up with it -- which is why she's willing to put up with the chain of command, no matter how much it rankles her.

that being said, he's creeping toward thin fucking ice if his finger gets any closer to her ankle. the fact that nobody seems to believe her when she tells them she's fine is getting increasingly irritating ; the sprain is wrapped properly and it'll be healed in a few days -- she knows first aid just as well as any other rebel worth their salt. jyn scowls and draws her injured leg closer to her body despite the pain, widening the gap between them until she's almost sitting on it. she bares her teeth and warns, " get any closer and you'll get a foot to the face. "

and since she's properly told him of the consequences, it's not her fault if he doesn't listen.

❝ if we ever get around to making that swear jar i keep joking about, cursing at a c.o.'s gonna be double. ❞ if his worry for her is sincere, his teasing of her is doubly so. from his position on the other side of the field, he didn't see her injury with his own eyes, but fellow comrades eyewitness to the incident report that it was a doozy of a rookie move. his professional diagnosis is that teasing from the squad will outlast the actual injury. ( at least, until someone else does something stupider. )

he's still responsible for her well - being, though, and so he figures the issue deserve at least a little deeper inspection . . .

to that end, wordlessly, he squats down, knee pressed into the cold, hard ground beneath them. he reaches out his right hand and it looks, for a moment, like he's going to conduct a standard talar test. that would be reasonable, and far more normal than what he does instead : pauses with only his index finger extended, hovering in the air mere centimeters from her ankle. then, he stares at her expectantly, wiggling his brow to the same beat as he begins flexing his finger in a gesture resembling poking. each movement brings the tip of his finger agonizingly closer without actually touching it . . . yet.

[ragedagainst]

HI i have made it back home safely!! expect me to be a menace on the dash once more in the near future but for now please enjoy a photograph of me and a highland cow underneath the cut

[ragedagainst]

there's a sort of lyrical nature to the sentiment -- to sacrifice herself to save those who she'll never meet, to let children and their children grow up in a galaxy that knows only peace. but jyn is no martyr, nor has she ever had any grand delusions to become one ; in the eyes of some, her actions on scarif had turned her into a hero -- a title she resolutely denies at any chance she can get. while the alliance has given her an opportunity to funnel her anger through the empire, there's when she dies -- and she will, sometime during this war -- her only goal will be to take as many of those bucketheaded bastards with her when she goes.

" you don't have to tell me that, " jyn scoffs, turning away from the other woman. " i've been in this fight since i was a child. " and she'll stay in it until she's killed ( or, a small traitorous part of her pipes up, it ends ). but just because her resolve is set on this matter does not mean she isn't bitter, jealous of the life that had been stolen from her by the empire. though she has been shaped into a weapon, her only worth being her ability to fight, that doesn't mean she has to like it. her words, previously spat in the face of alliance generals -- ' it's only ever brought me pain ' -- have once again fallen on deaf ears. her mouth twists, expression souring, " don't you have anything better to do than bother me ? "

Rogue One Sentence Starters // Accepting @ragedagainst sent: ‘ all it’s ever brought me is pain. ‘

it saddens her to hear this but she can empathize. " i understand. " fighting the empire is a long, uphill battle. thankless, exhausting and devastating. days were it feels helpless. days were the urge to give up becomes ever so tempting. lexa finds in moments of despair, all she needs to do is remind herself of the machine of destruction running rampant in the galaxy. the one with the power to ANNIHILATE planets. an evil of such scale cannot be allowed to triumph. though it seems bleak, they must press on. if not them then who?

" when i look in the mirror, i hardly recognize my reflection. " this information would not normally be offered up so easily, but the warrior can sense the inner turmoil in the other. lexa could live with being VULNERABLE a moment if it conveyed the desired message. " but given the choice? i would do it all over again. " she is forever changed by this fight and will continue to evolve if it means a step closer to victory. if they stop now, give in to cowardice, everything the rebellion built and sacrificed will be for naught. lexa draws closer so jyn can interpret the sincerity of her words and expressions. " they will come for us all one by one. the galaxy must be free. "

[ragedagainst]

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY (2016)

[ragedagainst]

@rebelhop3 : there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.

there's a part of jyn that knows cassian is right, even if she doesn't want to admit it. after a lifetime of running and fighting, of the empire bearing down on even her earliest memories, it's hard to imagine a world outside of war and violence. there's no forcing someone to understand -- this isn't something she can solve with her truncheons -- especially not when they've experienced nothing but peacetime. so eager to get off base ( away from the alliance and its bureaucracy ) and actually do something, when offered, she'd taken this mission without a second thought. yet convincing the locals that the empire is on their doorstep is aggravatingly more difficult than she'd anticipated.

her jaw clenches, hands curling into fists at her sides and nails digging into the leather of her synthskin gloves. " so -- what, then ? " she retorts, irritation curling around her words as she turns her head to face cassian. it's uncommon for her to be so out of her depth out in the field -- but then again, she's not usually the person sent out to do the convincing. her presentation to the council before scarif aside, she's not one for big speeches or talking her way out of trouble. ( her mouth, more often than not, gets her into it. ) " the empire's coming, whether they believe it or not. if they won't listen, then we need to prepare without their help. "

[ragedagainst]

Hanif Abdurraqib, “The Prestige” from A Fortune for Your Disaster

[ragedagainst]

@wornkindness : ‘ i find that answer vague and unconvincing. ‘

it's the first real danger that they've run into since jyn has taken over the position of the queen's bodyguard. there have been a few scares, but nothing to this scale. there is an assassin actively stalking through the halls of the palace with more guards dead than alive, and no one has any idea where they currently are. that, on top of the fact that the queen isn't listening to reason, makes the situation much more high-stakes than any prior attempt.

" i don't care what you think, " jyn retorts, eliminating all unnecessary formalities between them in favor of cutting straight to the truth. there's no time for ' your majesty ' when there's a killer somewhere on the property. amelia can reprimand her after they're both safe and the ordeal is over ; she'd rather the queen be alive and pissed than dead. " right now, i'm in charge -- and i'm telling you to stay put. "

[ragedagainst]

these violent delights.

dialogue prompts from these violent delights by micah nemerever.

i never told you my name.

who puts those awful ideas in your head?

you're forever assuming the worst.

what's that face? you look like you're going to cry.

you're one of those people who worry all the time, aren't you?

i don't worry, i ruminate. they're distinct actions.

nothing made you. you just are.

beautiful things are supposed to hurt.

people tell you you're shy all the time, don't they?

i don't know how i ever got on without you.

a little trouble is a good thing for a young person.

i wasn't born yesterday. i know what kids get up to.

it's good to have guns to stick to.

you could do anything to me and i'd let you.

i'm not ready to be seen. not yet.

i don't need you to treat me respectfully. i'm not made of glass.

tell me you love me, at least. please. i need to know somebody does.

do i look normal? i can't tell if i look normal.

you can get away with anything, as long as you act like an authority on the truth.

don't tell me what i want.

you know you're just about the worst liar i've ever met.

i don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you.

you're so square, you're a cube.

i just want you to believe me when i tell you you're worth something.

there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.

you can't fight everybody all the time. you still have to live with them.

i forget how blue the sky can be outside the city.

i'm going to push you off a cliff, you fucking boy scout.

thank you for trusting me with this.

be a kid while you still can.

please believe in the things i try to tell you, instead of the things you think you deserve to be told.

if the sun touched you for even a moment, you'd go up in flames. like a vampire.

your voice changes when you're angry.

what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.

you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but i'm never certain you can see what's really there.

tell me you need me. in those words.

can i tell you something? that i'm all but certain you won't believe?

i never lie to you. but sometimes, i wish i could.

you never let me pretend the truth is alright when it isn't.

you have a profound, elusive sadness about you.

you didn't. please tell me you didn't.

you and your awful little games.

why would i bother to grow my own conscience when you're always around to pester me?

you're going to help me escape.

this house is a shadowbox, never meant for human things.

you have no right to stop me, and you're not going to try.

you're sweet, when you want to be.

do you want me to kill ____? i mean it.

it might do you good to be an orphan.

you're just so sincerely creepy.

wealthy people pay handsomely for the privilege of ignoring cries for help.

i've never seen you like that before. not once.

i've decided to learn to be impulsive.

the worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice, but in thoughtlessness.

there's such a thing as right and wrong. anyone can figure out the difference if they're willing to think for themselves.

there's no part of you i can't see.

i don't want to hurt you. please don't let me.

you're ridiculous, sometimes. but that's alright.

i don't want you right now. go home.

i'm not like you. i don't even have a shape of my own to hold anything else in place.

i'll never matter the way you do, and you know it.

say what you need to say.

if you say the word 'deserve' one more time, i'm driving us off a bridge.

i've been meaning to talk to you about ____.

i'm worried about what you're getting into.

you don't see me. you can't. you never could.

it's your life. you're entitled to make your own mistakes.

i want you to know you deserve better. you don't have to put up with ____.

you scare the hell out of me. you really do.

you look the same way you always have.

i was worried i'd lost you.

i'll take care of you. i don't need you to be brave.

all i want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person i've ever met.

i would rather be cruel than weak.

i want you to let me be nice to you today. i don't care if you think you deserve it.

this place looks like somewhere in a jigsaw puzzle.

it's always been real for me. every second.

please don't say anything to my mother.

we can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened.

i'll call you when i can stand the sight of you. don't hold your breath.

hiding the truth is still lying.

i thought you'd finally trust me if you knew i'd kill for you.

i'm just as much of a monster as you are.

i was missing part of myself my whole life, until i met you.

righteous fury leaves no space for fear.

you can always talk to me. about anything, okay? i love you no matter what.

you played [game] in school, didn't you?

no one tolerates boredom worse than the idle rich.

someone needs to be looking after you.

you know you can't actually stop me, right?

i want to be able to look at you.

when you need to, you will understand.

i'm only ever early when i'm afraid.

people talk themselves into the strangest things when they want to look impressive.

in the end, there's no difference between trusting someone and underestimating them.

[ragedagainst]

it's been a while and i've gotten a lot of new mutuals lately so - intro post! i'm libby, i'm 26, she/her pronouns. i'm a historian and manage a city's historical sites and museum collection.

i've been writing jyn pretty consistently since summer 2017. the timing is specific because i watched ro.gue one for the first time before going to college and it's all spiraled downhill from there. jyn is my favorite character of all time and you'll have to pry her (cold dead body) from my cold dead hands

my portrayal follows the movie and the novelization with headcanons filling in the gaps. if you're not into star wa.rs, i've adapted jyn's backstory to a ton of verses, some of which aren't on my carrd. i love shipping and am down to ship with whoever, as long as you're ready for the struggle of shipping with jyn (trauma out the wazoo).

the best way to interact with me is to send memes! my meme tag is linked on my pinned post and feel free to send some in whenever, regardless if i've reblogged a post. my ims are always open and my discord is available for mutuals! feel free to pop in just to say hello or to plot -- this is your invitation!

[ragedagainst]

there's a decent chance that jyn, and anyone else who she manages to convince to come along on this unsanctioned mission, will be reprimanded for going against alliance orders. it doesn't matter that she's a war hero ( a title she resolutely denies ) -- there are rules within the council's bureaucracy and if they're not followed, even if they're wrong, then there are consequences. the rigidness of their standards, the tightness of the control of their people -- it's one of the things that jyn hates most about the alliance. if her proposed operation not only goes against the empire but also saves people, then there's no reason why she shouldn't be allowed to complete it. it shouldn't matter that they're understaffed or lack the necessary personnel when she's finished missions -- alone -- that would normally require a whole squadron of soldiers to do the same work.

and she'd do the same on this one, too -- she just needs a karking ship to drop her off the planet ; much to her extreme annoyance, that's where tristan patel comes in.

jyn doesn't have many friends. before meeting the rest of rogue one, she hadn't had any -- just occasional allies, tentative acquaintances, and definite enemies. moving around as much as she had hadn't left much time to maintain close relationships with anyone, even if she'd wanted to. ( her memories of her time with the partisans stays resolutely inside the cave in her mind, the bonds she'd shared with them shoved so deep down it would take a jedi to dig them back out. ) after scarif, she'd had low expectations for joining the alliance ; just because they're all rebels doesn't mean that they're all the same flavor -- and she's painfully reminded of all of their shortcomings whenever she proposes something the partisans would have jumped at the chance to complete. between missions and dodging starry-eyed recruits who seem to follow her around at ever corner, she hasn't had the chance -- nor the desire -- to get to know anyone she hasn't nearly died with ( which is just one of the many pre-requisites it takes to get past the first line of defense ).

patel is neither a friend nor an ally. she wouldn't call him an acquaintance, either, not when she doesn't feel like she actually knows anything about him beyond her own observations. the majority of words that come out of his mouth are lies, the truth so warped that she's not even sure he knows he's doing it. there's no trusting someone like that. ( and if she's a hypocrite for thinking it, so be it. ) yet as she looks at him, smoking a cigarette without a care in the world, she realizes that she always has an idea of where she stands with patel. he doesn't try to butter her up in an attempt to get her to do something for them. this sort of banter -- the barbed words, the sneering disdain -- is how she's used to operating. his disdain for the council is one of the reasons she'd come to him with this request, yes, but at least she doesn't have to fluff up her words and pretend to be someone she's not. it's a straight, clear-cut negotiation -- right out of the criminal underground and so far away from the politics of the alliance's upper command. if he wants something in exchange, he'll tell her clearly, without dancing around it.

" like you even listen when he starts to prattle, " jyn mutters in rebuke. she hasn't missed the way that his eyes start to droop whenever draven starts to go on his long tirades. " look, i'm not sure what the issue is here, patel, " she crosses her arms over her chest. " i need a ship -- i don't need you. you can pretend you don't know shit to get draven off your ass. " never mind the fact that she's only a passable pilot at best. other than the most generic, basic shuttle in existence, she's had very few opportunities to learn how to properly fly more complicated ships ( other than when she has to haphazardly steal one in the heat of the moment, of course ). patel's ship will undoubtedly be an issue, especially if she's the only one in the cockpit, but she'll make it work. she shifts, then adds with an appreciative look at the droid -- seemingly her only ally in this quest against the council's piss-poor decision. " buggy's welcome to come along, though. could use a co-pilot. "

TRISTAN SUPPOSES HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF A REBEL, EVEN IF HIS INITIAL INVOLVEMENT HAD COME FROM SURVIVAL AND CONVENIENCE. but be that as it may, it certainly does not mean he considers himself friends with other rebels. despite the fact that he's part of a squadron, despite the fact that he's been with the rebels far longer than many, he's still considered far more a lone wolf, preferring his own company and that of buggy – and occasionally, another member of echo, usually sarita. to some, the mystery makes him all the more compelling, makes some sigh in the halls as he passes. he cares very little for such attention, even if it does boost his ego some little bit on occasion. for the most part, people give him a wide berth, even the admiration he's earned from many – not only because of his attitude, he knows, but because, even though he's sanitized his records, people whisper about what he may have done before entry, usually with excitement rather than suspicion, though it's enough to keep them away.

not enough for jyn erso, it seems, good god, does he wish it was, even though he knows she must be desperate to seek his aid.

he takes another slow draw from the cigarette, limbs loose, still staring at the ceiling, flat on his back, aware of her proximity and movements even with his eyes half-closed, if only because he doesn't trust her not to do something rash. unfortunately, loathe as he is to admit it, they are simply too similar in some respects, enough to make him more wary around her. as he ashes it again over the side, otherwise motionless, silent, buggy whistles at him again, silent but insistent, her dome shifting beneath the palm of his hand as though she's trying to nudge him. how his goddamned astromech ended up being a more committed rebel than he did is still beyond tristan patel and he probably wouldn't tolerate it, if only she wasn't so unfortunately dear to him. finally, if only to appeal to his droid, he turns his head, brow lifted, staring somehow both annoyedly and intently at jyn as if measuring her from where he lays.

" of course they're fucking not, erso. that would mean they could make a single functional fucking decision amongst themselves. " he rolls his eyes, taking another drag, sound more bored than anything, decide the content of his words. all hope of effective leadership shat the bed when the alliance to restore the republic became a thing. he understands why the rebel cells felt the need to unite – but he always knew that the political bureaucracy it would create would stymie much of the individual cells' effectiveness. then again, all that complication's why he's always refused to climb higher in the ranks. " 'f I ran off to solve every issue they weren't handling, I'd never have time for a smoke. "

finally, he sits up slowly, though with the fluidity of some sort of wildcat, still eyeing her, giving a yawn as if the conversation bores him. push and push and push. tristan does little else but press against boundary after boundary with any of his opponents, just to test how far he can go. it's like setting up a perimeter on someone else's temper. he'll never lose those instincts of survival he developed young. " and you think you can talk me into it just because it's unsanctioned. what, you think even I don't get sick of having general draven up my ass all the goddamned time? thinks he's my fucking supervisor just because I have the skills for an occasional covert op. arrogant dipshit. " he flicks the butt of his cigarette away and leans forward, his elbows balancing on his knees as he watches her, ignoring buggy's nudge to his leg. " not worth listening to him prattle at me about protocol. really, erso, is that the best you can do? like I don't know you just need a ship. what, afraid everyone else is a snitch? they are. "

[ragedagainst]

jyn's clothes are still damp from the rain on eadu ; with each step she takes, her boots squelch against the floor, socks sodden with water and chafing against her skin. even though her hair and skin had mostly dried on the flight back, there's a heaviness to her -- cold, wet, and hunched over in grief. what'd happened -- with the bombs, the platform, galen . . . it's shoved deep down in the cave in her mind, the hatch closed as tightly as she can ( it's bursting at the seams ). when this is all over, when they finished this -- when, not if -- maybe then she can deal with everything that's happened over the past week.

in the meantime, as soon as she'd stepped off the ship, cassian had gone one way and they'd sent her in the other direction, presumably so she wouldn't immediately try to strangle draven with her bare hands. the first person she finds in a rebel uniform is the one that falls under the misfortune of her attention ; when she addresses the woman, her words are sharp but brittle, her pain cutting through the air like a knife no matter how much she tries to rein it in. " i -- need a change of clothes. and a place to sleep. " she swallows, jaw clenching and unclenching. tries to rein it in. " can you . . . point me in the right direction ? "

‘ yes, i’m speaking to you. ‘ ― from @ragedagainst.

AN ARCHED BROW MEETS ERSO'S CLIPPED TONE, though her jaw shifts with the visible effort of biting back the curl of her lips. the girl amuses vel, in some ways. she's been a rebel all her life on the lines with the partisans, but it seems she has only recently reawakened that liberation of fighting back, the hunger to do more. and with how she riles cassian, something tells her that she might like jyn very much, given the chance. being the daughter of an imperial science officer might . . . complicate things, but no one chooses what they're born into.

“ and i'm all ears, ” vel folds her arms across her chest as she leans back against the table of mostly useless scrap, widening her eyes expectantly. “ is there something you need? ”

[ragedagainst]

[ragedagainst]

" pulling the hope card, huh ? " the same words jyn had dangled in front of the council all those decades ago in a last ditch effort to get them to deploy as much firepower as possible on scarif. when she'd limped back to yavin iv in the aftermath, she hadn't expected people to know who she was . . . or that her fucking speech had made its round through the rebel base. no matter how many starry-eyed kids tell her -- or imply -- that she's a hero, or that she's somehow more valuable than anybody else, she doesn't believe it. she shifts, taking some of the weight off of her bad leg, and crosses her arms over her chest. " all right then, kid -- humor me. what's your plan ? "

                   Mirroring the older woman's stance,  the young pilot lifted a brow in a manner which only increased her resemblance to her mother.     ❝  I'm saying we need people like you to stay alive,  not go running off getting killed.  ❞          That was for young people,  for her,  to risk.     As if she had any authority whatsoever to prevent it  —  jyn erso far outranking her in experience setting aside authority  —  but there's an ache deep within her ribs that squeezed up at her lungs.          ❝  There's too few people here,  alive,  that know what fighting a war like this is like.     We need that here,  not just for knowledge but for hope.  ❞

[ragedagainst]

if i ever come on here saying i have a new favorite character that isn't jyn, that's how y'all know i've been replaced by an evil clone

[ragedagainst]

" i get what i want when i take it, " jyn retorts back, eyes narrowing in irritation. regulus likes to act that he's so much better than her, so much more refined, but he's not. " no point in sitting around and asking when i can get it myself. " her lip curls back in a sneer when she adds, " dearest. "

"least of all if you never ask for it—dearest." it's a lesson that he, too, needs to learn; but he still thinks he's leagues ahead of jyn in that regard. regulus knows what she tries to protect herself from, but there are more tools in a combined arsenal than there are in just one. "you'll never get what you want."

[ragedagainst]

i recently reread catalyst (r1 prequel) and annotated my copy of it so naturally i need to share some of my highlights. i've done my best to categorize them based on general theme!

Jyn (a literal child) vs. Krennic (a grown-ass man)

"Krennic stood, extended his hand, and motion Galen into a chair. 'How good to see you looking healthy and fit again. How are Lyra and . . . the child?' 'Jyn,' Galen provided." (85)

The above is my favorite bit Krennic's ever done. It's soooo ridiculous he's such a diva.

"On seeing [Krennic], Jyn refused to leave her room, so Lyra left her in the care of Mac-Vee. She might not have been able to articulate her reasons for disliking Krennic, but her wariness was plain as day." (294)

Standout line from the novel.

-

Jyn's Magnetism (Even as a child)

"The locals [on Lokori] were immediately enamoured of Jyn, whose powerful legs were now carrying her far and wide and whose vocabulary had tripled." (122)

"For Jyn, the world [Alpinn] was an enormous white playground. The mixed-species team of archaeologists were quick to make the new arrivals feel at home. Instantly adopted by everyone, Jyn--indefatigable as ever--reveled in being the center of attention, entertaining everyone with her antics, watching closely, learning." (211)

This was particularly noteworthy for me because it seemed like everyone liked Jyn. The fact that, as a child, she reveled in being the center of attention, and how quickly that would change as she grew up hurts me.

-

Jyn Being an Adorable Child And Menace to Society

"Lyra had given Galen ample time to settle into his new position before following him into the facility. No sooner did she and Jyn enter the research area than the three-and-a-half-year-old was off and running down a corridor. 'I'm not sure how I feel about bringing her gravboard here,' she told Galen in a concerned voice. 'A helmet's certainly in order,' Galen said. He motioned to the bank of display screens surmounting the communications console. 'At least we'll always know where she is.' Lyra took a moment to track Jyn's movements on the screens. 'Okay. But we might always want to consider padding the walls.'" (167)

"Jyn was only meters away in a play area they had created and cordoned off to keep her from wandering too far. Most kids her age would have been asleep hours ago, but Jyn had inherited her father's nocturnal habits and Lyra had given up trying to interfere with her natural rhythms. Luckily for everyone, Jyn was independent and often able to entertain herself, sometimes for hours at a stretch, singing, playing, pretending, as she was doing now." (187)

Thinking about her being independent as a child and then being alone for the majority of her life makes me sad actually.

"Lyra and the child joined [Krennic and Galen] in the lobby and the four of them spent more than an hour touring the complex, Galen speaking animatedly about the energy research--as if soliciting Krennic's approval; Lyra, quiet and lugging behind; and the child, hurrying ahead of everyone, wearing a toy sword in a scabbard and holding two stuffed animals in her arms." (197)

I know Krennic hates to see her coming.

"[Lyra and Jyn] were wearing backpacks and dressed in serviceable outfits, though Jyn had insisted at the last minute on wearing a helmet that made her look like a starfighter pilot." (201)

I used to wear bowls on my head so this is relatable.

"Galen turned slowly, and headed for the turbolift, then stopped. 'Jyn--' 'She's fast asleep,' Lyra said. 'It took six bedtime stories, but Mac-Vee is with her now.'" (284)

Just like me fr.

"Papa carried [Jyn] away from the window. 'What do you think, Stardust? Should Lah'mu be our new home?' 'Can Saw come and live with us?' Papa looked at Saw and smiled. 'Saw is a very busy pilot. But I'm sure he'll visit us. Right, Saw?'" (321)

This is literally HOURS after she first met saw, so it's FURTHER CONTRIBUTING TO MY "SAW IS JYN'S THIRD PARENT" AGENDA!

-

Galen and Lyra Distancing Themselves From Jyn

"Lyra had become as distant as she had accused [Galen] of being following the excursion to Malpaz, withdrawn and no longer interested in hearing about the research, even when Galen had tried to engage her; even after long sessions spent transcribing his personal notes, Jyn was caught between the two of them in a gulf her young mind couldn't fathom." (259)

"Since [Lyra's] return from the Outer Rim, [Galen] had grown more absent and preoccupied than ever, putting his work above their marriage, even above bonding with Jyn." (274)

I don't by any means think Galen and Lyra were bad parents, just trapped in a bad situation. However, these are just two examples of many in the book - I think it could have unconsciously influenced Jyn's feelings of abandonment before she was actually physically abandoned.

Foreshadowing

"With care that transcended need, Galen prized one of the translucent crystals from its memory-foam bed and turned it about in his hand. Having hurried over to have a look, Jyn said: 'I want one!' 'Maybe someday,' Lyra said, gently restraining her from reaching for the case." (142)

"[Lyra] could only hope that the strong hand would relax once the threats disappeared. Neither optimistic nor pessimistic, she could do little more than hope that Jyn would grow up in more stable times." (189)

Both of these actually physically hurt me to read.

[ragedagainst]

@sommersong, continued from here

things have been different between jyn and simeon since . . . the incident. ever since she'd pulled a few strings in the criminal underworld to get miriam back from her kidnappers, something in their relationship has fundamentally, permanently been altered. shifted. it's only been a few weeks since and they still haven't talked about it properly -- yet he's still saving leftovers for her and she's still swinging by his apartment relatively frequently, despite the linger uncomfortableness.

the change between them is reasonable, she supposes, even if she wishes that the new awkwardness in the air would simply just go away with a snap of her fingers. she'd seen a side of simeon that he doesn't often show to anyone and he'd gotten a glimpse of her past ( one that may not be so distant, these days ) that she'd rather stay hidden in the cave in her mind. the consequences she'd feared haven't caught up to her yet -- the fbi finding out, sending her back to prison, ending her life as she knows it -- but it's only a matter of time. she just wishes that that she and simeon could get back to normal before that happens, instead of their relationship feeling so frayed, held together by only the thinnest of threads.

but she very emphatically does not want to talk to him about it, even if that's the way to fix it. what's there even to say ? she can imagine all of the things that might come out of simeon's mouth ( and she already has ) and doesn't need to hear them out loud. and he doesn't seem to want that, either. it's easier just to -- needle him, to push him as far as she can just to see what'll happen. when he gets properly upset with her now, what will he do ? yell ? throw things ? she's curious, in an abstract, absent sort of way, to see what kind of person he really is behind the mask ; she's seen a glimpse of it already, and the cracks have remained in the aftermath, but she's greedy -- she wants to see more.

what she doesn't expect is for him to have the audacity to pour his fucking drink over her head.

bits of coffee drip off of jyn's clothes and onto simeon's floor ; she wipes her wet forehead and flicks the remainder away, hoping that it stains whatever bit of his apartment that it lands on. " you know, " she says, voice dangerously even, eyes flashing as she looks up at him through her now-drenched hair, " i've killed people for less. " the smallest acknowledgement of her criminal background, now once again being vaguely brought to light ; she'll let him interpret that statement as he pleases -- never mind the fact that she'd rarely killed outside of self-defense. without a drink in her hand, there's only one thing she can think of to do in revenge : she launches herself at simeon with the intention of tackling him to the ground.