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its funny when events that probably couldve been traumatic dont bother you so you'll end up casually dropping stuff like "so after that time i almost got lost at sea as a kid-" and theyll be like WHAT and youre like. oh yeah dont worry its just part of my lore. its honestly not even a top five interesting backstory moment. focus please.

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"I asked chat gpt'"

Cool i asked Malcolm tucker and he called me a cunt

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people who learned about greek mythology due reasons that DONT involve having read percy jackson at 12 freak me out, like what the FUCK was going on in your life that you found out that zeus turned into a pigeon to woo his wife like HOW

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i love old doctor whos cos they're all just random uncles that the press occasionally drags out of retirement so they can give iconic takes like this

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Victor Frankenstein syndrome aka you spent nights over nights crying and bleeding over this work and now that it's finally done you're just like "nvm. it's trash" and go to bed

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pyramid conspiracies are so funny cause like yeah theyre extremely impressive feats of engineering but its not like. crazy unbelievable. i think even as a kid if you asked me how i thought the pyramids were built id be like "i think they probably cut rocks into rectangles and stacked them. it probably took a very long time." aliens or power plants would not remotely be on my list of options yknow.

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Ughh, went to my first 'lets all talk about how we're not drinking' meeting and I dun think this is actually a good idea. Like, lets sit around talking about alcohol and how we're not drinking it and we don't even really miss it bc there's other things you can do like. Gardening! Gardening's something else you can do! Or laundry. Or pacing round and round in circles! So many options. Every day yields yet another little miracle, like. You could rearrange your sock drawer to keep busy. This is fine, it's nothing. God iwantafckingdrinkIWANTADRINKDRINKDRINKDRINK LETS TALK ABOUT IT.

Like. My grandad said he quit smoking bc he just decided one day and that was that. And I think he was probly exaggerating, God rest his soul, but ngl, that kinda energy's been working for me too. I kinda just stopped? And wasn't rly missing it all that much til i got locked in a room where we all have to talk about it for hours.

But I don't have any friends and I'd like to make some and I don't have enough of a personality to have anything else to talk about so I guess I gotta keep going anyway, bleh.

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My trust issues are objectively correct and anyone telling me otherwise has nefarious motives

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her singing the final "star quality" instead of shouting it 🤯

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Idk. It's like when I told my friend 'I nearly died when I was born and that's why my life's like this, I was never meant to be here in the first place. And she just goes "Oh wow, you're a miracle babyyyy :D". And I was like "I'm being miserable rn, would you mind not ruining my misery, would you just let me wallow?"

Idk why anyone would put up with me, I wouldn't put up with me, sounds exhausting.

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We need more representation for those that wish their attempts worked. Those that aren’t thankful they survived. Those that woke up and felt dread. Those that didn’t feel they were given a second chance, or that they were meant to live, but instead that they failed the one thing they needed to get right.

I see you, I understand you. I love you. Survival is a hard thing to do when you thought you’d get to stop, and I am proud of you for fighting.

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Thing is. Politically, I'm against assisted dying as things currently stand. Principally, it's your life and only you should decide what happens to it. But in the current setup in this country, there's been no effort made to help people live, which, surely you should exhaust all options for that first. Human life is more sacred than number go up. Particularly in light of disability benefit cuts, it's pretty obvious Labour's trying to balance the books via basically eugenics.

But ngl, if it comes in and I'm still alive then, there's gonna be cartoon running noises behind me as I swoop in to sign up for it.

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NHS mental healthcare: So why are you here today?

Me: Well I still feel very suicidal because. Feels like I'm an irrelevant person, no one would miss me and I don't want to be here so like. I might as well actually not exist rather than just be aware I shouldn't all the time

NHS mental healthcare: OK. And your appointment was half an hour late

Me: Well I was here quarter of an hour early, just no one came to get me

NHS mental healthcare: So that's time then, you'll have to leave now I've got another patient. But this totally helped, right!?

Me: I'm so glad I took multiple buses to get here

NHS mental healthcare: I actually saw you waiting! I didn't call you in - That's all

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on the one hand if it were me and i had payed all that money to see rachel zegler evita and then you made me watch don’t cry for me argentina on a screen because she was outside i would be sad but on the other hand whoa this is awesome