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Reblog if you didn’t write My Immortal

We’re going to find the author by process of elimination.

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Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:

1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.

2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.

3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.

4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.

We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!

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There is something about classic literature that hits different - which is not to say that modern literature lacks depth - there is just something so incredible about reading something and knowing that these same words were consumed by people decades, centuries before you took your first breath. And they loved and felt the stories the way you do& despite all the time separating you you’re still connected…

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it drives me bonkers the way people don't know how to read classic books in context anymore. i just read a review of the picture of dorian gray that said "it pains me that the homosexual subtext is just that, a subtext, rather than a fully explored part of the narrative." and now i fully want to put my head through a table. first of all, we are so lucky in the 21st century to have an entire category of books that are able to loudly and lovingly declare their queerness that we've become blind to the idea that queerness can exist in a different language than our contemporary mode of communication. second it IS a fully explored part of the narrative! dorian gray IS a textually queer story, even removed from the context of its writing. it's the story of toxic queer relationships and attraction and dangerous scandals and the intertwining of late 19th century "uranianism" and misogyny. second of all, i'm sorry that oscar wilde didn't include 15k words of graphic gay sex with ao3-style tags in his 1890 novel that was literally used to convict him of indecent behaviour. get well soon, i guess...

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About the AO3 "No Guest Comments for a while" warning

If you're not following any of AO3's social media accounts you might be in the dark as to what kind of "spam comments" have engendered this banner at the top of the site:

These spam comments have been posted about a great deal on the AO3 subreddit for the past couple of days. Initially they comprised a bunch of guest (logged out users) bot comments that insulted authors by suggesting they were using AI and not writing their own fics. Some examples, from the subreddit:

But it then escalated to outright graphic porn images and gifs being posted in comments, again by logged out 'Guest' accounts. Obviously, I'm not going to give examples of those, but between these two bot infestations, AO3 has clearly decided to act and has temporarily closed the ability to post comments for users who are not logged in with an AO3 account.

Unfortunately, this means that genuine readers who don't have an AO3 account won't be able to leave comments on fics that they enjoy.

If you are a genuine reader who doesn't yet have an AO3 account, I strongly suggest getting yourself on the waiting list for one. More and more AO3 authors are now locking their fics down to registered users only - either due to these bot comments or concerns about AI scraping their work - which means you're probably missing out on a lot of great stuff.

Hopefully guest commenting will be enabled again at some point soon, but I suggest not waiting until then. Get yourself on that list.

Wait times are going to be longer than usual at the moment, due to the current Wattpad purge [info on Fanlore | Wattpad subreddit thread], but if you're in line, then your invite will come through eventually.

Update: There's now a Megathread about this on the AO3 subreddit.

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This is what happened when a fanfic site is profit driven. Wattpad sucks 😞

The email from Wattpad is so condescending imagine pressuring writers to update and work while they are doing it for free and fun. Also the discovery? Algorithm? Of Wattpad looks like a stressful popularity contest 😑

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Guest comments temporarily disabled

Due to an influx of abusive spam comments, we've temporarily turned off the ability to leave comments while logged out. We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope to have guest comments back on soon! (16:06 UTC April 21, 2024)

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Fanfic tiktok is wild... I see so many people saying shit like "I could never read anything below 60k!!", or "What story can you even tell in under 5k words?" or "A oneshot below 10k isn't even a story!" or "I always filter completed fics by 100k< only!"

And I'm like...

A) which fandoms are you reading fics for where you have this kind of offerings on the regular?

B) have you heard of short stories? If you truly think every story NEEDS to be longform to connect with people, I sincerely feel sorry for you.

C) Average novel length is between 50k to 100k. I'm sorry, but CONSISTENTLY demanding fic writers to push out fics of that length is insane. Just think about it: YOU DEMAND AUTHORS TO PUT OUT FICS THAT COMPARE TO COMMERCIAL NOVELS IN LENGTH (AND QUALITY) AS A BASELINE.

Yall are wilding.

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The “oh I could definitely write this fanfic in under 5000 words and it really wouldn’t take me that long” voice in your head is actually the devil speaking

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It's hilarious to me when people complain about AO3 and its policies, and what they allow on the site - but it's ESPECIALLY funny when people complain like "Why can't the freaks make their own site and just go there?"

Sweetie... AO3 is the site for that. Y'all invaded our space.

Wattpad and FFN still exist. Go there. They're as shitty and G-rated as you want. You can't have the luxuries that AO3 offers if you're gonna be a little bitch about its policies. Imagine walking into a strip club and complaining about the alcohol and naked ladies when there's a god damn Dennys next door you could have gone to. Christ.

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Been hearing this is a problem again. Don't be a dick in bookmarks, folks. And yes while I made this image, I'm giving free reign. Take it. Spread it far and wide. Because I'm hearing that some readers don't know that their bookmarks are visible.

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His Soul (Chapter 11)

Passing Time

Summary: After saving the abducted collectors, you were trusted with Curioso's box. What seems like a dangerous possession slowly turns into an opportunity to learn more about this creature and his curse. Can you earn his trust, and possibly, his affection?

Pairings: Curioso/Reader, Curioso/The Detective

--

Having a dangerous magical jester around you wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Actually, the more you brought Curioso out of his box and allowed him to linger, the more his presence grew on you. Your paranoia and distrust gradually simmered into slight wariness, as you were no longer focusing on his every move and worrying about the possibilities of what could happen. You trusted him to follow your rules. So far, he hadn’t done anything that was a cause for concern. 

…Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There was one instance you weren’t all too happy with. 

Your friendly neighbor, Audrey, had stopped by one morning to drop you off some sweets and breakfast. She wanted to catch up with you due to your prolonged absence from her shop. You usually frequented it to get some of your groceries and the morning paper - something you’ve been neglecting to do ever since your jester friend had captured most of your attention. You’d been meaning to visit her again, but time kept slipping out of your hands… 

You’d let out Curioso an hour prior and had been in the shower when she stopped by. After you dried yourself off, your apartment sounded eerily quiet. It didn’t assure you when you found the creature completely missing from your home, which meant there was only one other place he could be. 

…He had scared the living daylights out of Audrey by greeting her at the door. His tall frame and sharp teeth evoked an immediate scream from her - it wasn't helped when he insisted on getting closer to her. He backed off when you came rushing down the stairs screaming out his name. You trapped him back in the box again and it was mutually understood as to why.

You recall how silent he had been after putting him back, seating down Audrey and placing a damp rag on her forehead. She was clutching at your arm tightly, fear laced in her brown eyes when she turned to you.

“Detective, what - was - that?” She breathed deeply, flickering her gaze repeatedly to the box sitting across the room. 

“My…new friend,” You sat down beside her and patted her shoulder. “I’m sorry you two had to meet like that.” 

She sounded distraught. “What is he!?” 

You felt worse knowing you couldn’t give her a good answer. What was Curioso, really? You focused on getting your friend to calm down instead and offered her some tea. It was a long conversation you two had that day - catching her up on your situation while also trying not to disclose too much. You made it clear that he couldn’t escape from the box, which was her biggest worry as she was constantly watching it behind you. 

It took some time, but she finally came to terms with what you were saying. With your assurances that he meant her no harm, she was able to relax and have a proper chat with you. You caught up on what she’d been up to and made a firm promise to go back to visiting her again. 

After she left, you gave Curioso a good scolding for scaring her, but he didn’t respond to you. You were positive he heard it, though, and put him in a “time-out” that day.

Otherwise, you were fine with regularly letting him out to venture around your office and home. He was curious and seemed to enjoy the freedom, despite how limited it all must feel. Neither of these places were as spacious as Andrew’s home. You always felt some guilt about having to cage him in here. 

But his encounter with Audrey reminded you why this was necessary. 

You walked up the stairs back into your apartment and shut the door behind you. The tall jester caught sight of what you were carrying and followed after as you headed to the kitchen. You dropped the box onto the table with a flourish and grinned.

“Pizza!”

He clapped his hands. “Finally ! You’re eating something not healthy!” 

You snickered as you threw open the top. His trademark expression seemed to have fallen when he got a good look at the fruit on your dinner. His disgust was evident as he clambered onto the counters and pointed at it like it offended him. 

“ Pineapple!? You’re mad!” 

“What?” You defended with a shrug, sitting down and chuckling at his reaction. “This place has the best ingredients. I tell you, nothing’s better than fresh pineapple on pizza.” 

He crossed his arms and refused to be any closer, choosing to watch you eat from the counter. You got a kick out of his behavior and made a show of enjoying your food, causing him to dramatically turn away. When you grabbed a second slice, he dangled his long legs from the edge and glanced in your direction. 

“Pizza is what I most miss eating,” He confessed sadly. “I liked mine with anchovies.” 

You made a face. “-And you think pineapple is bad?” 

He jumped off and sat with you, reaching over to ruffle your hair. You didn’t necessarily hate it whenver he did that, but it made you feel like a kid again and you were getting picked on by your parents. You shot him a glare when he sat back and attempted to flatten down your hair. 

“Fine. I guess we both like something pretty abnormal.” 

You shook your head and finished your serving for the night, closing the box to store in the fridge in the meantime. You really wanted to make a plate to give to him, so Curioso could try your favorite topping and confess that it wasn’t THAT bad. But you couldn’t. It wasn't possible to have that exchange.

It bugged you more than usual.

He must’ve noticed the change in your demeanor. You were still staring at the inside of your refrigerator, clenching a fist at your side. He curiously called out, “Detective?” 

“I’m fine,” You insisted sternly, moving to take your seat again. When he tilted his mask at you, you sighed. “I just wish you could try it. You’d probably like it.” 

“I wouldn’t. But the thought means so much to me.” His grin grew wider. You smiled back and fidgeted with your sleeve. 

“...By the way, I’ll be getting that book back next week. She called me while I was out today and told me she’s nearly done translating it.” 

His posture fell. “I see.” 

“...It’s a book full of instructions for your box.” You stated, seeking out eyes that he did not have. You wished you could have that contact right now. “..Do you care to tell me about it? Before I get it?” 

“My words won’t change anything. You’re going to get that book and you’ll be able to read it. What is it you want from me?” 

“Your input. Your feelings. They do mean something to me, you know.” 

He studied you for a while. After this long pause, he told you, “Then you’d be the first.” 

You blinked. “You mean the first to…care about how you feel?” He nodded and your lips fell. “Curioso…will you tell me now? About your past?” Your eyes flitted around his mask nervously. “Am I ready for that yet?” 

“I"d rather wait for that conversation,” He bowed his mask. “But I promise I will reveal everything.”

You nodded in understanding, appreciative that he was willing to tell you. He certainly didn’t have to - he could keep everything about himself a secret if he wanted to. You were grateful he was choosing to open up to you, but you felt that the presence of this book was warranting that somehow. 

“I’ll be patient,” You promised. Curioso leaned forward and booped the end of your nose, making you squirm in your seat and bat his hand away. 

“You have no choice!” He exclaimed cheerily. 

Really, it wasn’t that bad. You didn’t normally have company around your house. You once thought of taking in a pet of your own - a cat or a bird, maybe. But you decided it wasn’t worth the hassle of having to take care of it while also juggling your job. Sometimes you were out of town for cases and had to spend nights elsewhere. You hated the thought of leaving a companion of yours frequently like that. 

Curioso was more or less your guest. Except he had no use for any of your amenities - he didn’t drink water and he couldn’t eat food. He didn’t even wash himself in your bathroom, though you had a feeling his limbs and clothes could use a good cleaning. He mentioned something about not being able to take them off, and you weren’t sure if asking him to undress was a conversation you were comfortable with having right now.

All he did around your apartment was watch television, read your books, play board games, and join you while you ate. He did sometimes look out of the window for a long time. You assumed he was enjoying what part of the outside he could see. There were times you debated offering to take him on a walk, or a quick trip to the park, but you weren’t sure if those experiences would be the same if he had to be in his box the entire time.

While you were washing dishes, you decided to be curt about your curiosites. He was right - he had nowhere to go and couldn’t possibly evade whatever you chose to ask. Sure, he was stubborn about some things and refused to give you an answer, but you still had the opportunity to pry. 

“Can you sleep?” You asked, raising your voice so he could hear you over the faucet. 

He was currently fiddling around with a small puzzle box he found in one of your drawers. He seemed to love puzzles as much as you did. “I can and I can’t.” 

You arched an eyebrow. “Meaning..?” 

“In the box I can.” Something clicked and you smiled hearing his small victory. “But when I’m out, there’s no need. I can be awake for weeks..!” 

“Another reason to keep you in at night, then.” 

“I can pretend to sleep if that’ll make you happy...” 

You scrunched up your nose at the thought. “I’d rather not keep you up for eight hours. Wouldn’t it get boring?” 

“It’s not any worse than inside that box.” 

You grabbed a towel to dry the dishes and turned around. He had disassembled the puzzle box so he could try again. You knew he was attempting to get a personal record, a habit of yours as well. 

“What do you do in there?” You crooked your head to the side. “I remember there being a lot of puppets and mannequins, a little theater stage and a room…do you use those?” 

“Perform without an audience? I can’t think of anything worse,” He scoffed. “To answer your question, Detective, I draw and make things. Sometimes I write little plays and act them out…hoping that, someday, I can show somebody.” 

“Now why didn’t you do that instead of kidnapping all those collectors?” 

“It was a fun game..! You played along and enjoyed it, didn’t you? You got to see some of those acts yourself. Remember when you uncovered the mystery of Nancy?” 

You shook your head and turned back to the sink. “I wouldn’t call that ‘fun’.” 

“Agree to disagree.” 

He redirected his focus back to that little puzzle box. You liked seeing him enjoying himself…you had to get more things for him to play with. You would hate for him to have nothing to do around here if there wasn't anything to distract him with. 

He might cause mayhem again, and you didn't want that.

A few days passed and you spent your time with Curioso. You had the free time to spare while you waited for your next big case. You were glad for the distraction. The way you passed the time before was through picking up a new book or getting invested in a TV show. But having your eyes continually glued to something all day wasn’t healthy. You did try to get out more, jogging to the park and back…but you were only ever able to keep it up for a week before you’d be dragged into your next job. It was a ruthless cycle. 

You were playing Operation with Curioso. Something to pass the time with before you’d have to go to bed. You made it a goal of yours to engage in something with him every night. It was the last fun you two would have before he’d return to his box and you would turn in for the evening.

Your fingers slipped and the tongs came into contact with the metal edge, sending a strong vibration to your hand and causing the printed man’s nose to light up brightly, announcing your failure to retrieve his Adam’s apple. 

“Ugh!” You scowled, passing the miniature instrument over into Curioso's artificial hand. You watched as he smoothly grabbed his next piece and dropped it aside.

“Don’t worry, you’re not as bad as I was at this,” He assured you. “When I was little, I couldn’t grab anything for the life of me.” 

“I bet it’s easier with those hands,” You gestured over to his flexing digits. He smiled at you. 

“It is! I have no nerves to give me jitters anymore. I bet you’re jealous.” 

“Oh, terribly.” You rolled your eyes. You were finished with this game so you collected your cards to tally the total. The end result wasn’t surprising at all. “You win, I guess.” 

“Don’t be a sore loser. You did wonderfully..!” 

You eyed all the plastic pieces he had on his side and snorted. “No wonder you beat me at Jenga.” 

“That was fun..! It was hilarious when you knocked the pieces over yourself!"

You cleaned up the game and returned it to its box. These were old ones you’d found at a yard sale years ago and kept around in storage. You only recently surfaced them while trying to find things to do with Curioso. A deck of cards could only play so many games, and you had the faintest feeling he was cheating in them, sometimes. 

“Well, time to hit the hay. Tomorrow we’ll play Monopoly. Probably.” 

He stood to his feet and watched as you returned the game to its cabinet. When you came back, he grasped onto your shoulder tightly and looked you straight in the eyes. At least, you believed he was doing that, with how close his ‘face’ had suddenly gotten to yours. 

“Detective,” He breathed, his voice quiet. “I believe it is time.” 

“-For bed?” 

He shook his head. “To tell you everything.” It clicked in your head and your eyes widened in surprise. “You get that book tomorrow, don’t you? It’s best if you know all of this beforehand.” 

“Are-Are you sure? It’s getting late-” 

“-Please.” He implored. “I’ve been holding off all day. If I procrastinate any longer I may never tell you."

He sounded desperate and anxious. It made your chest swell in anticipation. What was he going to tell you? And why did you need to know all of it? He leaned even closer to you so his set of teeth was only a few inches away. You gulped at the close proximity. 

Two small blue flames lit the sockets of his mask. “Would you like to see inside my soul?”

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not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

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y’all romanticize pregnancy too much we need more fics about postpartum psychosis. And abortion as well