rainbowsandcoffee

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Because you deserve happiness

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playing with shadows

Five years ago, everything changed for Jeremy Knox and Jean Moreau when they unexpectedly ended up with the Palmetto State Foxes. What was meant to be a last resort became a turning point in their lives and careers both on and off the court. Now, they're thriving as pro Exy players, but have barely spoken since they last played together. As Jeremy returns to LA for the first time since the end of his junior year, joining the team Jean plays for, he’s thrown back to the place where he lost it all. Forced to come face to face with what he left behind, and what might still be waiting.

M | 1/? | Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau

read on ao3

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"Starting to think blue is your favorite color," Cat said, inspecting his finds with obvious approval. "it is not," Jean said.

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i actually don’t even care about them that much (lie) ,, they are NOT all i think about 25/8 (LIE) 🧍i don’t know what would give you guys that idea , like I DONTEVENCARE THATMUCH I DONT (SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP) . ahem… yeah so here’s jeremy n jean i guess …. Or whatever … ☀️💛 (they are everything to me)

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trojans supporting jean: we're here for you and we will listen when you feel like talking and we will help however we can and you're our friend and we love ya okay?

neil supporting jean: i will kill a man for you

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Jeremy, and his abandoment complex

Whether he’s aware of it or not, I think Jeremy didn’t realise how afraid he would feel if Jean never came back.

A night out at the bar. It was getting loud and hot and unbearable so Jean decided to dip for a short while with Cody. Jeremy, who’d been by Jean’s side the entire night turned to find Jean’s seat empty and no one with an answer of where he might’ve gone. Cody’s text to the group hadn’t gone through and Jeremy let his anxiety take over.

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jean canonically tightens his glove straps with his teeth

that’s it. that’s the post.

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so this parallel...

I need to stop listening to wishbone for the sake of my mental health at this point

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California sleeps 🌻

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🌷 WIP WEDNESDAY 🌷

Another Wednesday so I thought I'd share another snippet from Jeremy crash out (and also now Jean crash out) fic...it's over 10k words now thanks for asking 😔

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“How long are you going to punish yourself?” Cat asked gently, making Jeremy freeze in his tracks behind the barely cracked door.

“I don’t know what you mean,” came Jean’s deep rumble in reply. “Pass me that wretched white substance.”

“It’s called mayonnaise, hun. And you forget I have to live with the two of you,” Cat said dryly, “I’ve never seen two more depressed men in my life. When are you going to put Jeremy out of his misery?”

Jean muttered something caustic in French under his breath in reply.

“Jean,” Cat said in a gently scolding tone, “You’re his best friend, and now you won’t even look at him. Don’t you think you would be heartbroken if he did that to you?”

Jean was silent for so long Jeremy thought he would choke and die from holding his breath waiting to hear his reply.

When he answered, Jeremy wished he could go back to the moment before he heard Jean's words.

He had never heard Jean's voice sound so defeated, so hollow. “He will get over it. I am not what he wants, nor what he needs.”

Jeremy didn’t remember it happening, but he was suddenly on the floor with his face buried in his hands, barely tamping down the urge to throw up. He was sure the conversation went on behind the door, but he heard none of it. His heart burned.

I am not what he wants, nor what he needs.

Was that…how could he think that? How could he not know…how could he not know?

Maybe because he found you high in a frat house bed with three men. Maybe that’s why, Jeremy.

He lost his battle to his tears, wondering how much more his bruised heart could take before it gave out for good. Self-loathing like he’d never felt before infiltrated every cell in his body.

Jeremy had self-destructed, and somewhere along the way, Jean had got caught in the crossfire.

He couldn’t let himself spiral further. He had to fix this. He couldn’t…he wouldn’t live this way. Not without Jean.

He didn’t deserve Jean yet. But if he worked hard on himself, maybe one day he would.

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hey so does anyone else think about how if jean joined the foxes instead of the trojans, his number would most probably be #11 aka the same number as his soulmate jeremy knox

anyway, thank god he's a trojan

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Day 1 manifesting a scene like this in tbc 🙏🏻

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updating fic list | ao3: rainbowsandcoffee

series:

blue, brown, bruised and found [completed 19/19, jerejean, my very optimistic hopes and desires for tbc]

with every broken bone I swear I lived [ongoing 8/10, married with children jerejean & andreil, kevin/oc, unofficial sequel to bbbf + they're at the Paris Olympics]

won't you drag the lake and bring me home again [completed 8/8, jerejean, jean tackling his aquaphobia]

he's the rest of my life [completed 2/2, jerejean, jean hooks up with someone else and poor jeremy suffers]

you belong with me [completed 6/6, jerejean 5+1 jealousy fic]

one shots:

it gets cold in california [jerejean, jean runs away from home]

j'sais pas si je t'aime [kevjean, jerejean, jean confronts kevin about his drinking]

I'm the one who understands you [jerejean, an extra jeremy gets jealous scene from my 5+1 jealousy fic]

blow me instead [jerejean, jean disappears with renee to blow off some steam and the trojans misunderstand]

you can't catch me now [jerejean, minor andreil, lola kidnaps neil and jean and angst ensues]

a life with love is a life that's been lived [married jerejean, jean dies]

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling [jerejean, the floozies take jean to pride]

don't forget me [jerejean, jean hits his head and forgets jeremy]

was it worth it [jerejean, jeremy falls asleep and crashes his car, jean has had enough]

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they’re so made for each other

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so this was supposed to be a one shot and now it's over 6k words and I'm still far from done I fear

collapse what have you done to me 😔

started writing another Jeremy crashout fic instead of finishing the twenty wips I'm in the middle of, you know how it is 🙂‍↕️

here's a snippet ✂️

“Jean,” Jeremy reached out towards his partner with gentle hands but stilled when Jean flinched away from him like a startled animal. His eyes were confused and upset, and Jeremy wanted to strangle himself for being the one to put that expression on his face.

“Let’s leave together,” Jeremy attempted again even as his fingers shook at his sides. His voice only wobbled a little when he tried to sound upbeat for Jean's sake. “I’m tired of this party anyway.”

Jean slowly shook his head, unable to meet Jeremy's eyes. “I don’t think I want to be around you right now. I’m sorry. I can find my own way back home. Goodnight, Jeremy.”

Jeremy was so started by Jean's words that he could only stand frozen on the spot and watch as Jean’s silhouette got smaller, until his partner disappeared out that front door of the club.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered into thin air, the hand on his neck digging painfully into a bruise until he felt the sting all over his body. “Please, Jean. Don’t leave me too.” 

How had he managed to drive even someone as stalwart and loyal as Jean Moreau away from his side? Jeremy really was poison.