rainw3arfashion

[rainw3arfashion]

Hey!

So...looks like Tumblr is ready to loose about 95% of its content. It will loose mine, EVEN THOUGH I am the most PG blog in the hood. See me on Fetlife [Meroving], Recon [Meroving], Skype [rainw3arboy@gmail.com]

Love you all!

[rainw3arfashion]

Urban kinkboy in very busy places. The pics are exactly one day apart. Means staying in this gear! ;) 13 degrees Celsius, pouring rain

[rainw3arfashion]

My love for an object

It happened recently that I visited a fetish friend. Lots of gear all scattered on the floor, piled up against the bed, against the wardrobe...wherever it could find space. Now the next thing that occurred was my friend re-shifting this pile and throwing some of my rainpants that I carelessly left to litter space. This is coming from an external account so my true feelings won’t be as accurate as I did not notice how I felt at the time, but here is how it went: according to him, my face went through an expression similar to when your child is being taken out of a crib by someone who definitely doesn’t know how to hold a baby. Laughed at me and made me laugh as I realized that I got terrified by the fact that my rainpants are handled by someone else and the possibility of it ripping is imminent. This has made me think a lot. These rainpants are perfect. They are as shiny as rubber, made entirely out of pvc but one thing about them means a problem: they don’t have lining and are glued at the seams, so they have a tendency to rip easy. Over the course of the years, when my budget was extremely limited, buying a set of rainwear in secret for my (secret) self treat for my birthday resulted in me keeping them even if they were badly ripped. As time went on, one thing has stayed with me and it was the special relationship between me and this inanimate object. I am sometimes scared. Am I insane? Am I freaking people out? Surely, insane people don’t ask whether they are insane or not, so hoping that my self-analytics indicates my sanity still in its intact form. But this love for an object, a truly practical one, that another friend of my described as “well this is practical but not pretty” is something I don’t even notice how much it impacts my life. I cannot leave the house without having a raincoat in my backpack - or not wearing one. For this purpose I have ones that are slightly less “outrageously shiny”, some that look almost fashionable but are still rainwear apparel. They are just always there. I studied and graduated architecture school. Worked in the industry so far quite short time, but enough to see how my object obsession - as opposed to an impressionist approach - has influenced my design thinking. Built forms to me are a collection of objects that are either there or not there. The presence or the lack of them thereof are the single most important factors that make me think about spaces. Always wished I could start with an artwork, an abstracted one, that plots a story on paper or any medium and paints a colour of feeling or concept that later becomes a building through interpolation techniques. Or something similar. To me, objects are the starting points. Say a concrete cube. Even if I would paint an impressionist artwork in a very highly abstracted form, I would look at its tangible real world equivalent that can be handled, touched, smelled, heard or looked at and those feelings would be related to. Sometimes this frustrates me a lot as for a truly free design mind, there shall be no boundaries in the range of thinking patterns. But this special type of love goes far deeper than abstract thinking. I have not studied any psychology but I have gone through lots of therapy in the past and I have VERY basic understanding of the principles of human thinking. I had the honorable chance of exploring the notion of fetish with highly educated psychologists. I was obviously interested to know the reason my brain behaves this way and what I can do -if anything can be done - about it. I have been given surprisingly simple answers to my questions - perhaps so that my lacking neuroscience knowledge won’t be a problem in understanding. But it is all about neuron groups, being close proximity to each other in the brain, having interactions developed in my childhood brain that conventionally are never meant to be developed. Lots of us have plotted the question, “why?”, “how did it start?”. The answer is that a young brain being like a sponge develops connections at an elevated rate. Sometimes they are accidental and are only due to environmental factors, some are genetic and so forth. Certain neuron groups are communicating with each other to represent a function/feeling/action/anything in the brain, such as love. In my case, maternal love was present at the time when my brain established a new neuron group related to ‘putting on raincoat’. Somehow these two groups started communicating and since our fundamental brain activity is to evaluate the world around us whether it’s safe or unsafe, while raincoat meant safety, coupled by maternal love as being omnipresent when there was interaction with the raincoat (as I had to be helped to put it on), this connection has been used frequently enough that it grew permanent. The development of this connection isn’t understood fully and doesn’t always develop, but in my case has grown to be a full on connection: safety - raincoat - love. I still have a black hole in my understanding how sexual attraction came to the picture as the development of the neuron group responsible for maternal love definitely does not have sexual connotations. It all starts to sound Fraudian, but I leave it up to the researchers. There has been another case which I learned over the years echoing the notion of fetishy neuron group interaction and it is the presence of sneezing upon sudden and strong sexual arousal. Some of us have this experience, including myself. To me, this is another proof that certain separately operating parts of our brain, the one that controls sneezing, and the one controlling sexual arousal can establish neuron connections and fire at the same time. Twisted, isn’t it?

Please, if you have a degree in neuroscience, I would be delighted to hear more detailed/correct explanation! Afterall, the discussion on fetish as a physiological symptom has been between a psychologist and a non-educated layperson. But it has given me clear and simple answer that what my friend saw on my face when he was rearranging my beloved rainpants a few days ago is connected to very old and very much beloved memories of safety and love. Everything we know starts with what our brain registers for us. If you have any question or have experience similar to mine, please don’t hesitate to jump in for a discussion! Peace!

[rainw3arfashion]

PVC raincoat + Helly Hansen rainpants + backpack at the lake. 15 degrees C, clear sunny

[rainw3arfashion]

Wearing these rainpants all day long with gumboots. Sunny, 19 degrees C

[rainw3arfashion]

[rainw3arfashion]

One of the best raincoats I found in a non-fetish store. Sunny, 28 degrees C

[rainw3arfashion]

One of the best raincoats I found in a non-fetish store.

Sunny, 28 degrees C

[rainw3arfashion]

Rubber singlet, plastic raincoat, Nora rubber boots. Walking task on a very busy weekend at the pier. Clear sunny, 26 degrees C

[rainw3arfashion]

Going to places in my new set of plastic rainwear. Sunny, 100% clear sky, 27 C

[rainw3arfashion]

Going to places in my new set of plastic rainwear. Scattered clouds, 17 C

[rainw3arfashion]

Plastic raincoat + rainpants from Indonesia Perfect material, perfect fit Sunny, 17 C

[rainw3arfashion]

Plastic raincoat + rainpants from Indonesia Perfect material, perfect fit Sunny, 17 C

[rainw3arfashion]

Plastic raincoat + rainpants from Indonesia Perfect material, perfect fit Sunny, 17 C

[rainw3arfashion]

Plastic raincoat + rainpants from Indonesia Perfect material, perfect fit Sunny, 17 C

[rainw3arfashion]

A few days in the snow. Sunny, -3 C

[rainw3arfashion]

Day-to-day clothing restriction:

Wear pvc raincoat or rainpants EVERY DAY in the following manner: - minimum of one hour - fully buttoned up for the duration - has to be outside and seen This could be altered according to people’s suggestions.