ramielimaii

[ramielimaii]

Your Megatron fic is so so beautiful but I fear my mind is not large and juicy enough to comprehend it. Poetry is so confusing to me 😭 the fic still tore me to pieces don’t get me wrong, it’s one of the most lovingly written things I’ve ever read and I don’t know if I’ll ever forget it. It makes me feel things and maybe that’s all it was supposed to do, but I get the sensation I’m missing something in the reasoning of it all? If you would so graciously help me understand, I’d really appreciate it. What is happening in the last couple chapters? Why has time stopped, what are they now? If you don’t feel like spoiling the mystery, I understand. But I figured I’d ask. Thank you though for writing it either way ❤️

Hi! Thank you so much for asking! I was kind of concerned about the way my writing was going, so I'm glad someone called me out on it! I'll see if I can make some things clearer!

Spoilers below the cut! Read this at your own risk!!

This story mostly revolves with Megatron trying to work through his grief with Optimus' death.

It's a bit of a divergence from the canon IDW timeline, even before the actual events of the story take place. For example, Orion Pax met Optimus when he was a scribe/archivist for the police academy, long before he saw him and Impactor in the bar. Optimus and Elita are also conjunxed during the war, but it's sort of a tax benefits/morale raising tactic than genuine love, even though they care for each other a lot. Also, there's a gap after when Optimus returns to Cybertron with his men and Megatron aboard Omega supreme, during which Megatron's trial is postponed several years.

Because of Cybertronians living so long, there's ANOTHER span of time during which the trial takes place and is then POSTPONED indefinitely because Optimus is focusing on trying to restore Cybertron and bringing peace to the galaxy through more hands-on methods (Pax Optima, approximately 10,000 years), and has managed to convince his High Command that taking Megatron along for the ride will change him. They still want him dead or gone, but Optimus sort of goes on leave, and claims full responsibility for Megatron and anything he may or may not do.

Pax Optima actually ends up really screwing with Megatron's head. He has Optimus for who knows how long, and never knows when it might all go to hell. When it does, he's the one to bring it about by asking for his own execution- but only if he is tried by the Knights of Cybertron. The majority of the MTMTE/LL run goes HERE, and when he returns, he arrives just in time to see Optimus sacrifice himself by throwing himself into Unicron in order to stop the universe from going splat. THAT is where most of the grief comes from: "watching someone die, knowing it's your fault, and being powerless to stop any of it."

Optimus isn't dead, though, not really. He didn't die, just changed-- as energy cannot be created or destroyed, he just became something new. I tweaked some things around a little, and, essentially, Optimus "jumps" into Unicron, but he's a black hole-- and so he manages, strangely, to survive, coming out the other side into a blank pocket dimension. He's completely alone, and because he's the only thing in the dimension that can manipulate matter or energy in any way, he becomes a bit of a god.

Megatron canonically has a black hole in his chest. This is the exact same black hole Optimus goes through (and then turns into, being a white hole), but the other side of it. When the LL quantum jumps at the end of the run, they essentially go through Megatron's "spark" and into the pocket dimension that Optimus created-- a feat that is only possible because Megatron and Optimus were conjunxed, although neither of them knew that. Because of this, Optimus is able to control this dimension, and so is Megatron, because they are each other's anchor points. Also because of this, Optimus is able to appear to Megatron physically, but none of the rest of the crew, which is a literal representation of the fact that even though Optimus has so many good people around him, the only one who could ever truly understand him was Megatron. Megatron feels the same way, and because of this, clashes with everyone else, even the people who try to undertstand him. He feels they are unworthy of the position Optimus' once occupied, no matter how hard they try. What he doesn't realize is that even though, yes, Magnus or Rodimus can never love him like Optimus did, no one is stopping them from loving him differently.

When Optimus and Megatron sparkmerge in chapter 6 (7?), they go poof because they're a bit like particles and anti-particles. They instantly annihilate each other, and because their connection is so strong, they also destroy everything else around them. It's another symbol-- their love, while honest and true, is inherently destructive, and ended up hurting so many people. Considering the fact that the majority of the war was because the two of them spent most of their lives chasing each other around the galaxy, it's fitting.

As for the place where they go, it's not that they've left reality, but more so that the void is what's left of it. The reason the crew of the LL was able to survive, even though they've been "frozen" in place is because Megatron is attached to them, even though he cares for Optimus more. The reason Megatron isn't able to sense them is because he's buried his feelings about the truth, because he doesn't want to lose Optimus all over again. At the end, when Optimus says that Megatron is going to find a reason to go, he already knows the truth. You can't love someone who's died as if they were still alive; it's not healthy. Optimus has accepted this, because he's had his closure (and Megatron hasn't), but the way he goes about convincing Megatron to leave him throughout the story-- avoidance, ignorance, a literal tug-of-war with his emotions, etc. isn't one of the smartest ideas he's had. Megatron, however, insists on reopening so many new wounds, even though he really shouldn't.

As for the poems, they're mostly for context, and a really good indicator of Megatron's feelings! They give some depth to the scenes-- The Road Not Taken, for example, is Megatron's reflections about his decision to set aside his selfishness (a choice that is usually not chosen) and confront reality. Ulysses is Optimus' breakdown, and his plea to Megatron that there is so much more to life than This. "The opening canto of Pope's An Essay on Man:" which Megatron uses to comfort Optimus after he consumes his spark, is him reminding Optimus that they don't have to float between choices, and that their decisions are their own.

There are a couple more poems in chapter 8 that will wrap everything up pretty nicely, and hopefully give some explanation to the end. I'm excited for yall to see the one I personally wrote!

Basically: This story is a metaphor for misplaced love and unconfronted grief. Chapter 7 is a BIGGER metaphor for how to live anyway. The reason time seems to stop or last forever is because of the fact that no matter how much time Megatron spends with Optimus, he knows it will never be enough, and a billion years could pass and it would never make up for the love he genuinely seeks. Sparkmerging is the ultimate act of conjunx ritus, and in this case, an attempt to restore a relationship that should have been put to rest a long time ago. Outside of time is the consequence of codependency, which is complete isolation. Megatron eating Optimus' spark signifies him finally accepting the fact that Optimus is gone, and putting him to rest by carrying his memory with him in his own heart.

TL;DR: You die once, you live every day. Let the dead bury their dead, and love the living while you can!

Thank you for asking me this, really! Teebeeache tbh I might have to give chapter's 6 and 7 a rewrite- I would hate for them to be so unclear it's hard to figure out what's going on!

Peaces, -Rami 😊✌🏾

[ramielimaii]

Can’t wait to have my allotted authors ao3 curse when I go for the USAF and write fanfic from the field 🥰

[ramielimaii]

The good feeling when a little cat rests their head against you like you’re a pillow is actually pretty significant

[ramielimaii]

[ramielimaii]

kiss your girlfriend, save the world 💔💔

this fic game got me thinking - what is everyone's favourite fic that they've written? like what is your magnum opus and why? what's your fic legacy?

[ramielimaii]

Oh my god it’s peak I can’t do this GUYS THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

I FORGOT TO POST THIS EARLIER BUT INSPIRED BY @ramielimaii’S FIC

they just posted a new chapter please go read it (´▽`) (´▽`)

[ramielimaii]

finally,,, i make my little guy do a little dance,,, the power i hold,,

(based on choreo by Molly Long - song: Pop Muzik by M)

[ramielimaii]

OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THIS SO MUCH????

THANK YOU

"It is late. Optimus is dead, Orion even more so. Megatron is tired. Tired of wishing. Tired of hoping. Tired of mourning, and sorry for it."

An art inspired by this fic by @ramielimaii ! i absolutely adore the story,,, there's so many layers of love and hurt, and i can't wait to read the rest of it <3

[ramielimaii]

quick animatic inspired by @ramielimaii’s fic Noted With Thanks, Megatron of Tarn!!! planning on fully rendering the last frame eventually

[ramielimaii]

Caramelized Onion & Chili Oil Pasta (x)

[ramielimaii]

& I’ve never felt more alive

[ramielimaii]

Bumblebee Spotted Sporting a New Red Coat of Paint in Public | Transformers: Galaxies (2019) | #5 | Retail Incentive Cover A | Cover Art by Anna Malkova

[ramielimaii]

rations

my humanformer designs

[ramielimaii]

They’re trading fanfictions on break

[ramielimaii]

The best part of being in catholic school is everything goes on hold for the pope it does NOT matter where you are we stopped all we were doing and watched that man come out

[ramielimaii]

[ramielimaii]

He is from Chicago yall......