randmcomplaints-blog

[randmcomplaints-blog]

[randmcomplaints-blog]

I haven't posted in a while but I wrote this earlier this month and though I may as well post it, I really feel as though this place is just a place for me to write and get all my feelings out so i have no idea what else I’m gonna post.

March 17th. St Patrick day. Also the day I realise I guess I'm an adult. How is it that in one day you can reach two extremes.One so happy and one so utterly sad.One from my present life and one from my past. An engagement and a suicide. The thing is neither of these happened today. I mean one happened about a month ago and another 3 days. But I learnt about them both today. Why today. Both events I have never known of someone my age doing. that is a lie, I have known people to get engaged but not someone I see regularly. And the suicide is of someone I haven't seen in almost 8 years. But it's still a shock. I still think I'm young. but I guess I'm not. Until Sunday I am 18.18 is a age where you can: -drink -drive -vote -have sex -Be happy -be sad -be happy with someone -be sad alone -commit to living with someone -commit to dying alone

How can the same age offer such different outcomes. They live in the same country. The same city. They even know/knew the same person. Me. Now looking at these extremes I try to work out where I stand. Where do others stand. Obviously I want everyone to be happy. But that isn't the way of life. So how do I stay down one end rather than the other. I guess I talk. Here in NZ recently everyone has been spreading the message of mental illness. And it scares the shit out of me that people can get that sick that they end up down the bad end of the scale so please..... Talk.

[randmcomplaints-blog]

Watch: The power and vulnerability in his voice needs to be heard.

[randmcomplaints-blog]

Basically a diary entry

Hey look at me I’m actually writing another post. I guess this is the type thing I will only do when I am upset about something. So here is a post of me complaining about my privileged life because my problems are small in comparison to others, anyway... My 19th birthday is in a couple weeks and I know 19 is not a big age, well its a really insignificant age to be honest, but hey, it’s a birthday nonetheless. Any way being at university but also still living at home has resulted in me struggling to make super close best friends that you will be friends with forever, or whatever happens when you live in halls. But don’t get me wrong I do have great friends but I don’t know, I am sure I am being super ungrateful but basically I have worked out only one friend is going to probably be with me on my birthday. This friend is one of my dearest friends as we have been friends since we were 5 and I don’t know what I would do without her. But because I am ungrateful, I am a little bit upset at the fact that no one else will be here. I get everyone has a legitimate  reason for not being here; lots are to far away to travel, one is going away for her fathers birthday, one is going to Justin Bieber concert. But it doesn’t stop the fact that I feel abandoned and that know one cares enough to make an effort to do anything special for my birthday. In the past I like to hold parties at my house but now I dread holding them for so many reasons, the main one being that know one will come and it seems over the years less and less people make efforts to come to my gatherings and this year i don’t even want to go through the humiliation of being rejected and no one coming because I don’t think I can take it. I mean no I have not invited many people yet because I have only talked to my close friends about it because I know if my close friends are coming it doesn’t matter who else comes or not because I can rely on them. But I literally only have one close friend coming. So what if the people who I am not super close with don’t come or cancel last minute and I am left with cocktails and cake for two.... I cannot deal with that embarrassment. So I am left not even wanting to celebrate at all I mean it’s only 19 it isn’t even an important date.

This is basically just a diary entry but I am to lazy to write so here I am typing it, I am sure no one will read it, I just needed to get it off my chest.

[randmcomplaints-blog]

well this social situation isn’t going the way i acted it out in the shower

[randmcomplaints-blog]

dear random people

So I have phases and lets be honest this is probably one of them. I mean I have started two blogs previously, wrote two posts then never again. So I give this a week before I never look at it again. Anyway this phase is a blog about me writing letters/speeches things I think in my head and want to yell at someone but never actually say and to be honest I LOVE complaining it’s something I excel at... well at least until someone brings logic into it, that always kills my buzz. Sometimes these long speeches I come up with aren't complaint’s (sometimes being the key word) they are just things that I just don’t quite have the courage to say out loud so I am going to do the next best thing... write them on the internet and hope know one I know every reads it! Super healthy right! As I said I will probably post maybe twice and then never return and forget my password, but on the slight chance that for once in my life I stick to something maybe someone out will read this and find it somewhat entertaining and wont end up like my hula hooping phase which resulted in a hula hoop sitting in the corner of my room collecting dust....

Love  the girl with lots of phases

p.s. I havn’t got a clue how tumblr works so heres hoping I work it out