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imagine getting into a fight with your knight boyfriend and he stomps away in his armor like CLANK CLANK CLANK

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hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information

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I just don’t caaaarreee. I don’t care. But I care a lot though I care SO much. But also I just don’t care at all and never have. But also I do and always will. Hope that helps

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It’s been a week so here is an appreciation and call-out post for god’s favorite idiot, Apollo. He is charged with the following crimes:

1. Orange

2. Flooding the house (twice)

3. Tongue gets stuck on tooth (often)

4. Doesn’t understand litter-boxes

He is redeemed for the following qualities:

1. Looks good in hats

2. Is actually a baby

3. Doesn’t worry about anything (is a chill guy)

Thank you and good night

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“fuck you my child is fine” ma’am your child was a pleasure to have in class

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What was that Jared post where he ends it with “you’re poison” in reply to?

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i truly cannot believe someone accused mitski of keeping them as a child sex slave (that her dad BOUGHT FOR HER AS A HS GRADUATION GIFT) in her SUNY purchase dorm as like a 19 year old and not only did y’all buy that shit but also had the fucking nerve to lecture people for “celebrity worship” as though this moderately famous indie singer was kylie jenner or something all the while said person keep creating a more and more fucking ridiculous story which included a claim of suffering from stroke-level brain damage and memory loss from being pistol whipped and assassination attempts from their family members AND working with the FBI to expose their parents.....and then deleted and y’all were like “well leave them alone this is a normal response to some other trauma” ???????????????????????

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can someone tell me why it has taken almost 22 yrs of my goddamn life to realize that my incessant need to provide friends with a service stems from my childhood??? like my sister would always require me to do something for her or give her something in return for spending time with me and that has followed me to adulthood?? is that a thing for anyone else?

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genuinely the funniest thing I’ve read today

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So for my advanced editing class this semester we had to make a “montage edit” where we combine footage/media from 2-3 different sources to create a final product with a completely different intended meaning than the original.

So I made twilight Gay.

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Clap of the Titans.