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Tumbleweed needs everyone to know that I am his most cruel and heartless mother for decreasing the amount of food he gets due to him gaining a third again his body weight over the last year no that is not all fur Tumbleweed you are shaped like a pregnant sheep!

He has spent much of the day stomping from room to room while yelling his immense displeasure.

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hell yeah brother

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*approaches a throuple* so who’s the solider who’s the poet and who’s the king

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From The New Anecdota Americana, 1944

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i am increasingly convinced that the wedding industry is having a statistically significant impact on young women leaving the mormon church. has anyone looked into this?

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Do you think it's like a rite of passage for every new generation of xmen to momentarily feel like it's kind of fucked up to be trying to kick the shit out of a senior citizen until magneto crumples someone into a cube like a trash compactor in front of them and they're just like Oh Ok

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Maybe this therapy shit is working

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received this incomprehensible email from my ornithology professor

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*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

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i have made like 57 reddit throwaway accounts in my life because my only use for reddit is to login once a year to pose niche questions to a sub i assume is compromised of mostly autistic dads desperate to impart their knowledge upon anyone who will listen. when i got my first fisheries job the equipment list my boss sent me just said “knife.” i emailed back asking what kind of knife and he replied “any knife.” i got on reddit and went to some sub about fish and i said “i got a hatchery job in alaska. what knife do i need for multipurpose use. a knife that does it all.” one guy responded in ten minutes breaking down everything about knives & salmon work. gave me a better idea of my job than the interview did. then he recommended a single knife and like twenty other people replied after him “this is the correct knife. no notes.”

bought it. pretty good knife, no notes.

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Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

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sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

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He is sealed in there for all of mankind’s safety