Things My Roommate Says, Part 1
"If I did drugs, I would either revert to normal or I would just explode."
"The /lesbians/ can have nipples! I'm so confused!"
"Oh wait, never mind, she has nipples too. The non-lesbian."
"Oh my god, that fart displaced the mattress."
"Cockroaches don't deserve intestines.""
"He thinks he's Keanu Reeves, but he's not."
"Fake Keanu! Nooo!"
"Everyone's an old, old man."
"I don't think they have the budget for pregnancy."
"Tigger doesn't deserve to live."
"My lungs are up here!"
"Did you see all the fat fly out when I took it off?"
"My accent has an accent."
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MST3K Quotes Starters Part 2
“I’m the government! I’m The government! I’m the reason nothing works!”
“Space is warped and time is bendable!”
“No, WEREwolf. WERE. Say it.”
“Uh oh. The town’s alternator is shot.”
“They totally cleaned out the bookmobile.”
“Sting, Debbie Reynolds and God.”
“My lunchbox can withstand a nuclear blast.”
“It’s the hair, isn’t it?”
“I came to explain about my head.”
“Can you change the fact that I have crunchy pants?”
“This is too a real sheriff’s shirt!”
“I talk to myself a lot.”
“Crazy glue spokesman!”
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MST3K Quotes Starters Part 1
“And if your hands were made of metal that would mean something.”
“What, he became a bat? A bug? What is that?”
“Oh great, a random citizen who can kick a werewolf’s ass.”
“____! S/he flies like a moron!”
“Do something!”
“End! End!”
“____, put your shoes on. We’re at Grandma’s.”
“Man, that guy’s got a small face!”
“When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip!”
“I like it when I see me.”
“Packers!”
“It is a thing of evil! We animals can sense such things!”
“It’s called evil, kid.”
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randomrpmemes​:
Frankenstein: A New Musical Starters
“I am the innocent.  I am the damned.”
“His story is the province of nightmares.”
“I can hear my name, blackened by my crime.”
“The world’s at our command.”
“A golden age is truly upon us.”
“What I’ve learned is that there is no secret that mankind will not one day know.”
“It’s a sparrow.  I found it.”
“I will return to you one day, ____.  I swear it.”
“The dead have nothing to say to you.”
“I curse the day that I was born into a world so black with hate.”
“What’s wrong?  What’s right?”
“The very fate of all mankind is in this mind, and in these hands.”
“The glory of a brave, new world will one day soon be mine.”
“My mission is this – to write a new tomorrow.”
“Darkness is done: a new day has come!”
“ Can you hear me?! Live, damn you!”
“He’ll likely be dead within the hour.”
“____, it pains me so to have to keep this secret from you.”
“What is missing, what is wrong?”
“Is greatness still within reach?”
“I have searched for you for a very long time.”
“The time has come to answer for your sins. The day of judgment is upon you.”
“You… you’re alive.”
“You will hear me well.”
“There were no dreams, no tortured memories.”
“Why am I hunted?”
“Who is this stranger inside of my skin?”
“Every moment tastes of death!”
“You’re a beast to be feared.”
“God has damned you at birth.”
“Trust is a virtue, ____.”
“Demons and dragons, let them all be.”
“I felt… human.”
“What kind of a monster kills the soul of kindness?”
“Diagrams.  Instructions. Your every dark scheme writ in your own hand.”
“Do I really look like my mother?”
“I think of you as if my own.”
“I saw some kind of demon!”
“Why did you leave me there to die?”
“Why will no man speak the truth?”
“Our actions cannot be undone.”
“I will rain fear on all your kind.”
“I have a proposition to present to you.”
“Who are you to make demands?”
“I think it wrong, I think it sick.”
“Here’s a chance to make it right.”
“Bring this nightmare to an end.”
“Not every secret should be known.”
“The only path I’m left is yours.”
“I’ve gone too far to turn back now.”
“I’ll change the course of history.”
“I was once a dreamer.  Now I’m man’s redeemer.”
“Can’t you see what you’ve become?”
“You cannot save humanity.”
“She’s going to be perfect.”
“I cannot allow you to destroy yourself.”
“You are the children of hell.”
“From this moment forth, your destruction will be my sole occupation.”
“I’ve known the goodness in you all our lives.”
“That’s something even death cannot undo.”
“I can see the pain in your eyes.”
“Please?  Let me help you.”
“What is it like in an angel’s embrace?”
“Blind with hate are these eyes.”
“Your every step is fueled by rage.”
“The road may twist and turn, but still you’ve one direction.”
“Why can you not see the truth?”
“I deserve to stand alone.”
“Is this the great discovery I have awaited?”
“Dreams of glory have their price to pay.”
“One final task remains.”
“I have come not out of vengeance, but of shame.”
“May the darkness set us free.”
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