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Corny Jokes

(Just realized I had 10 followers O-O It kind of snuck up on me!)

Without further adieu, have two jokes!

Warning: The following jokes are cheap...

Joke 1

How does a hurricane see where it's going?

Joke 2

Why did the opossum cross the road?

Answers

With its eye!

To become roadkill!

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Update

Yeah, so I'm editing an old story and read this: "eyes widening and water pouring out, but still unable to break contact with the other girl."

... water pouring out ...

I can't believe this is how I described tears! I mean seriously, this is embarrassing... -_-"

Anyways. Just letting you know that I'm not working on "It" right now. The next story to be uploaded will probably be "The Love of Melancoly" or whatever I'll be calling it by then.

I don't know how long it will take... Life really does slow down the process...

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Riddle

It just came to my mind to put a riddle up for no reason.

~

I am no; I am then. I am here; I am there; I am everywhere. I keep order; I keep pace. I limit life, but I am immortal. What am I?

~

Answer: Time

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Poetry Week End & It

Well, poetry week is over. I'm going to try and fit editing the rest of It in my current writing schedule. We'll just have to see when I manage to get around to it. The story itself should be nearing its end if I'm not mistaken. Anyways, have fun people.

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Write Poetry?

Poetry?

Oh, I see.

You want me

To make poetry?

Hehehe,

How silly.

Me and poetry

Will never be.

Though, for me,

Poetry does set free,

Like the flight of a bumble bee.

It fills me with glee.

Poetry,

How I wish I could write thee.

Poetry...

My dear friend, I'm sorry,

But I cannot write you any poetry.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: I wrote it to be ironic; a person who loves poetry doesn't believe they can actually write poetry, yet they inform us of that through poetry.

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I'm doing a poetry week. Been listening to Welcome to Night Vale. So, here you go!

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Out of the Unknown

All crowd

Because there was a loud

Cry that sounded like something

Died by a cruel murdering.

Eventually we gave up;

Finding nothing other than the normal muck.

Giving up was our mistake,

Horrible was then set our fate.

I wish we'd known

Just what was coming from the unknown.

Killed monsters from old,

Legends broke off of their ancient holds.

More and more came,

Non-stop pain,

Our fate was clear.

People were I fear.

Queen from the unknown arrived,

Reign of terror she then derived.

Still, I had hope even if The town turned to a darkened rift.

Under her rule

Violence was extremely cruel.

When foreign soldiers came,

Xenogenesis of the unknown was their bane.

Yauld too were these unknown foes.

Zealous for freedom we all were, but for now we're letting time flow.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: I took the challenge to write an Abcderian (the proper term is "abecedarian" but I don't care because I like my version better). It was fun to write, but I did give in to the use of a dictionary for the "X" and the "Y"... *shameful look*

Now, about the poem itself. I tried to write it in a way to personify Unknown and tell the tale of tragedy we see in unknown things (or something along those lines, if you come up with better wording for what I just said).

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Haikus

Have a Haiku

.

Here, have a haiku!

One for you, you, you, and you!

Aren't they so much fun?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nazat Ra

.

An en nazat Ra.

A qwa? An duliz naza-

Nazat aldo Ra.

.

Translation:

So what? I'm not God.

I do not have to be God;

I don't need to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death Be Proud

.

Death be not proud... No...

Death ought be proud for his help;

He leads souls to peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Music Song

.

Music! Musico!

Is it noise or endless flow?

Music! Musico!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Overenthusiastic Bush

.

A bush! I see it!

Yes! A bush right over there!

Oh how exciting!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheerful Hate

.

Hello everyone!

Go die in a hole. *Te He*

Love you all, bastards!

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: There's no rhyme or reason behind the order, nor relationship between any of them, but whatever. Randomness for the win!

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Potential

No,

I won't let you go.

I know,

The process is slow,

but the whole world must know

Of the potential you show.

Please don't just go

With the flow.

That potential you show,

It shouldn't be just be let go.

Like a Winter's snow,

Once settled, its beauty will glow.

And potential, also,

Is like a bow;

Once opened, your limits will go

And give your seed, that life had sew

Long ago,

A chance to finally grow.

So please, please, please never go

And give into the flow

Where you're never free and never grow.

I just want you to know,

All it takes to go

And blow

This world away is for you to know

That you have that potential.

One thing before I go:

The world needs many a hero,

Everyone has a hero's potential.

Alas, no one here does know.

I hope that one day everyone will go

And bring that snow-

Bring their potential.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: Time for a more positive song. I don't fully know if there is a form like this, so I call it the "A Verse" with is basically a rhyme scheme of the same sound at the end of each line. (Sorry if that description doesn't make much sense, mind's failing at the moment)

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Life & Death

Life

Joyful, Happy

Living, Loving, Laughing

Is what's nice truly what's good?

Leaving, dying, crying

Feared, hated

Death

.

Life

Timed, Short

Breathing, counting, lying

Is what's nice truly what's good?

Ceasing, Unending, Revealing

Endless, Forever

Death

.

Life

Overused, overestimated

Boring, Grueling, Infuriating

Is what is Life truly nicer than what is Death?

Interesting, relaxing, calming

Unknown, underestimated

Death

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: A friend of mine told me a joke about a Diamante. He said, “then if you make one more than a verse, is it a Diamante Necklace?” And so I hope you enjoy this Diamante Necklace. I may add to the chain later in Life, but for now I give you three links.

And of course, because there's no center option, I can't center it to make it look like a diamond...

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Insanity Poem

One by one, each person will fall

Until insanity claims us all.

The corruption starts within,

Only a few need be the seed of this sin.

Death will rise, bringing only demise.

The darkness will spread

And many people will be dead…

.

The start of insanity

Spreads from the core.

Stopping it is vanity;

It always consumes more.

Hidden sides, watching eyes.

The corruption grows near.

Can you feel the fear?

.

Half the World's gone insane.

Is this truly the mind's bane?

Will our mind survive this epidemic?

Has all we've done been enough to condemn it?

The mind tries, but still it slowly dies.

What have we done to ourselves?

We've achieved multiple living Hells.

.

The World's fallen to hysteria;

All starting from such a small area.

Insanity, there's no escaping it.

Your mind, insanity is breaking it.

It's already too late, insanity is now our fate.

I guess this is goodbye,

It's time for us to die.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: This is a poem that was written for another story I was writing at the time. The basis of this poem, as well as the story, is that Insanity will consume the mind and there's nothing one can do to stop it once it's set in motion.

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The Stalker

I see it watching me, sitting in the tree and watching. Its cold, dark eyes stare intensely at me, never faltering, never looking away. It knows I se it, but doesn't care; I'm sure of that much...

.

I am unable to sleep that night. I am too busy watching the window to my room, waiting to see if it'd appear. I can feel its eyes watching through the glass; I know it's waiting for me to fall asleep.

.

It followed me the next day. It knows I'll eventually be unable to keep consciousness. I try, but can't loose it. I don't know what to do; it is relentless, following and following and following and... following...

.

It's closer than it was before. Every second that goes by, it's creeping closer. It may not look like it, since it's closing in so slowly, but I know it is. Even while in public, it follows. Though, it's like no one else can see it.

What is that thing?��What's happening to me?

.

I can make out its shape outside my window at night now, each night the shadowy figure becomes darker and clearer. Sleep's almost gotten to me as well. I need to find some place public to sleep, else...

.

The creature's no longer visible to me as I walk around each day, but its stare is undeniable. I think it's right behind me. That it's so close that I can't even see it in my peripheral vision... And I've hit my limit; I'm going to collapse...

.

I wake up in an ambulance. I can see it clinging to the window, staring and grinning viciously before it vanishes. I sigh in relief, but then I hear a commotion in the front and soon after, the ambulance crashes. I am barely scathed from the crash, but the entry to where I lay is jam shut and locked from the collision. There's nothing I can do. Maybe I'm lucky that way, for that thing can't get in. Still, I can hear it banging, pounding on the walls, doors, roof, and anything it could reach, as it tries to get in. I hope someone finds me soon, before it gets to me.

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Save me

From this world, I am falling fast.

I need someone to save me.

I try and cry out "save me"

But no sound comes out.

.

Please, someone, save me!

Save me from this curse

Before it gets any worse.

I don't care who, just save me.

.

Please, anyone, save me!

This will be my final plea,

Please save me!

I hope someone hears me...

_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: This is a form I came up with after reading a help guide to a game I was playing, at the time, that told me where I could find some fancy, rare items.

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Forewords

I am random.

No two things are in tandem.

I just write whatever I feel;

It's like a spin of the wheel.

I might right something for a story,

Or basically anything that won't bore me.

.

And, yes, I decided to write

the forward as a poem,

Does it make you wanna fight?

Just be warned that if you sow 'em

You'll reap 'em.

Well anyways,

I am random,

that fact won't go away.

.

I don't know what to write in this forwards,

So I'll just keep writing more words.

Poems with rhymes,

They come naturally at all times;

I can write down many lines

Within a short frame,

Though I'm not looking for fame;

I'm not trying to brag here.

Of that fact, I must make clear.

Like I said, I'm just filling the space up here.

.

Light, dark,

Happy, sad,

Sane, crazy,

New, old,

Bleak, exciting,

So, on,

Etc.

.

It's all just pure randomness,

Whatever I feel like

That doesn't make me stress.

Now let's continue on

To the part you're actually reading this for.

One final thing, though,

I should probably say this before I go:

A poem to me should rhyme,

But you can't say that's a crime.

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Poetry Week

I've been writing way to many stories at one time lately. Then there's the fact college has started recently.

I know it's Thursday, but whatever. I'm going to be putting up a poem a day for a week.

And as a bonus, I'll add a few notes about the poem, if there are any.

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It - March 5th 1943

 It was their seventh trip into the Forest. They were heading back; so far the day had been going as normal. Suddenly, It came from behind. The three had hardly anytime to react. Dral had just enough time to look behind him, Kay had enough time to nock his arrow, and Vilo had no time what so ever. They flew in three different directions as it landed.

.

Kay was knocked backwards, but he did manage to shoot his bow.

It looked at him, and he would have sworn that he heard a chuckle.

He had dropped his bow when he was knocked backwards. It laid out of reach.

It jumped at him. He rolled out of the way, grabbing his bow as well. He instantly nocking it.

It knocked over the tree, which fell towards Dral. Dral managed to role out of the way.

Kay shot at It again, but missed.

Vilo came from the side and punched It. Vilo's punches could make steal crumble to dust.

Vilo's arm broke. It looked at him, making a chuckling sound.

While It was distracted, Kay shot It in the eye and took off, It wailed in pain. It forgot about the other two in it's rage and followed Kay.

Kay forgot which way was out. He knew that he was no match for It and It could probably out run him as well. He just hoped the arrow to the eye would level the playing field. The field seemed level, for It was having a hard time keeping it's speed while slamming into trees. Kay decided to risk it and shot a few more arrows. The next time he looked back, he didn't see the creature following him. The glance was a mistake; Kay tripped and fell. He closed his eyes, expecting the worst.

Kay opened his eyes; It wasn't there. Kay started to hike through the forest hoping to find an exit.

.

It had stopped chasing Kay; it wasn't worth it. It decided to give the archer time to realize the hopelessness of the situation. It had two other pray to attend to, and they were getting close to forest edge.

.

A while later, Kay came across the body of a nymph with a bite scar on the back; it was breathing faintly.

“Can you hear me?” Kay asked.

The nymph slowly turned her head to look at Kay, then asked,“Are you trapped too?”

“Do you know a way out?” Kay said.

“There should be protection in that direction,” She said, trying ti point to the right.

Kay picked the injured nymph up and headed off in the direction she had pointed. Kay came upon a cave.

.

It landed in front of the cave's entrance; it was slightly wounded and had an axe in it's leg.

“Your group has been such a pain,” It growled. It looked around, waiting to hear a noise; It's sight was temporarily blinded.

“My time is way overdue...” the nymph faintly muttered, “put me down.”

Kay stood the nymph of two feet.

“Waste not this gift,” the nymph said before stumbling out into the clearing in front of the cave. “Fool!” It howled. It picked up the nymph and threw her into the air, then It caught her in it's mouth. It bit of the body at the halfway; rotten blood spattered everywhere.

It spat out the nymph, splattering the remains all over the scenery. The blood and body were absorbed by the ground much quicker than the normal nymph's; she was already decaying after all.

While It had devoured the nymph, Kay snuck around and entered the cave.

“How dare you!” It bellowed, “What trickery is this!” It turned around and stared straight into the cave with a blank stare, growling, “You will rue this day, archer!” Of course, It had actually enjoyed the workout he had gotten that day. Normally hunting is boring, but on occasion you find those ones who provide a challenge.

Kay turned and went down the tunnel.

.

“Hello,” the Ancient said, “You should be the last one I need, but we shall see.”

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It - March 4th, 1943

 Dral the Dwarf, Vilo the Orc, and Kay the Archer; their power together was unmatched at the time. They were believed to be able to do anything.

They had entered the woods through an old path the forest nymphs once used. It never showed. They left and returned. This was the pattern that had happened the last five days and continued for March 4th as well. The townspeople were in complete confusion. Rumor had started to spread about it being safe to enter the Forest, but no one was brave enough to prove that as fact; they knew better than to lower their guards and suspicions.

The new sage of the village, Dorthy, came to Kay, Vilo, and Dral.

“Don't go into the forest tomorrow,” she warned, “It will be your last journey if you do.”

She turned to Kay, “Except for you,” she said, “Your life will change like you would never of believed possible.”

They ignored her advice, calling her crazy.