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[randomstudentblog]

March 27, 2024 @0356H

Exactly the date of the release of the MTLE result. We're expecting it to be later this afternoon or evening.

A day or 2 before the exam

I wasnt able to make an update duringg these days because we already went to the place where we stayed annnd I crammed alot of notes + closed door exams. It was mind wrecking. Last minute I was studying.

Day 1

After finishing the first subjec, I already felt that it's over. I cried when I saw Kath sa hallway. But I had no choice but to continue. Luckily, CM was a bit easy. Pang palubag loob kung baga.

Day 2

I find ISBB and Hema quite alright. Histopath, wow, save the best for last talaga. As someone who didn't study HTMLB, in short, alay, grabe ang daming histopath na tanong, about 90% ay histopath then the rest ay totoo ngang very out of medtech na.

BE aftermath

I honestly felt scared, and fear dominated over faith. My heart wanted to scream. My eyes felt like waterfall. I was able to sleep naman after since we drank jacoke right after day 2.

Waiting Game

Eto yung probably mas mahirap pa kaysa sa BE. A lot of pipol were rationalizing, twitter, messenger, facebook, reddit, discord. Gosh, it's everywhere!! But yknow what? I cant stop looking at those things. The more I read and look, the more I realize the chance of me passing is very slim. Heck, i cant even remember the questions and even if I did, I cant recall my answer!

As a distraction, I just cleaned our house, bathed my dog, and tried to get involved in family business but at the end of the day, the thought of BE result kept lingering. I just prayed on it. Pray and pray and pray.

Release of Result

Grabeee yung pag release ng result, I was asleep. It was around 1:30 am of March 27, 2024. Jawie was the first one to congratulate me. And I quickly jumped into my laptop to see my name. And viola, page 60, number 2916. There, my name is on the list of passers! Wala sa topnotchers, haha chariz.

Tbh, I didnt know what to feel cause some of my friends, my dear ones, weren't on the list. I cant even post my name sa messenger nor sa facebook because I dont wanna make them feel behind, although ang dami na nakapag post sa batchmates ko. Still, I dont wanna be the one to cause them to feel that way. Hanggang ngayon di ko alam kung ano mararamdaman ko. Heaven knows how thankful I am, I really am. St. Joseph of Cupertino, St. Jude of Thaddeus interceeded for me. I cant thank them enough for allowing me to pass the BE.

Pero yung thought na hindi nakapasa iba kong kaibigan, really saddened me. Jinkx, Tevs, Tofu, and Ally, may you guys keep on going. Keep on striving. You may be saddened by today's result, but that should not be the reason for you to stop pursuing. I believe in you guys. Kayang kaya niyo! I will always be right here for you. And when the time is right, the Lord will it happen.

At this moment, mas nangingibabaw ang lungkot kaysa saya. But nonetheless, I owe it all to God, who never ceases to fail me. Who gave me all the strength from the start until the very end of the waiting game.

I'll rest muna. Unang tulog as RMT

Doreen Nizza C. Ferrer, RMT because of God's grace 🙏

[randomstudentblog]

March 19, 2024 @2310H

2 days before the board, im still cramming the materials. Dami ko pa talagang di alam.

Kinakabahan ako. Natatakot. Naiiyak. Pagod na. Pero patuloy pa rin sapagkat hindi napapagod si Lord sa kakabigay sakin ng lakas at gabay. From day 1 until now, God has been with me.

I have everything I need. Who am i to give up?

I'll keep doing my best, Lord, until the end. For now, I have already surrendered my life to You.

Let Thy will be done through me.

I will become RMT next week, and it's all because of God's grace!

[randomstudentblog]

March 18, 2024 @2317H

3 days before our BE, im feeling a lot of emotions. There are soooo many things that I dont know. I Thinking that I had the luxury of time to finish what I should've finished. Regretssss, oh regretsss are creeping in again.

I did not do my best.

What in the world have I been doing?

I thought Ill be different this time of review szn

This is the kind of feeling I thought Ill get away with. Hnggggggg ang dami ko pa Lord di alam. Ang dami ko pamg kailangan basahin but i only have 3 days left. Make it 2 in few hours. Di ko alam kung paano ko ipag kakasya. Lord, ikaw na po bahala. I will just keep doing my best for the remaining days.

Sayo nalang po ako kakapit kasi di ko na po talaga alam. Fear. Anxiety. Disappointment. Pressure. Lahat po yan sabay sabay ko ng nararamdaman. But Lord, please po, during examination please calm my heart and mind so I can think properly.

Trusting You in times of hardship is a bit challenging. But I will keep on trusting You. You are our God, you are capable of making heaven and earth, thus with You anything is possible.

I know surrender mylife to You, my Lord. Let Thy will be done through me.

[randomstudentblog]

March 17, 2024 @2308H

My eyes and head hurts a lot. As much as i wanna keep going with answering practice Qs i kent because of the pain. Hngg, ill just wake up tomorrow early @4am (totoo na to, kasi kanina i wasnt able to do that haha sorinaa self)

Lord, I believe in You, I trust in You, and now I surrender myself wholly to You. Let Thy will be done through me.

DNCF, RMT on March 26, 2024

[randomstudentblog]

March 16, 2024 @2324H

Exactly 5 days before D-day. I still have a lot of things that I dont know, a lot of things that I fail to remember, especially the right answer in the practice Qs that I have already answered (make me hate myself for this).

*sigh* I just finished praying. Im trying to correct my sleeping sched already. Will wake up tomorrow @4am so I can start studying at 0430.

Tbh, the thought of failing the BE won't leave my mind. A lot of regrets creeped in last week. "I didn't do my best."This isn't my best" keeps lingering my mind.

Idk. Idk. Idk. I no longer know what to do. But I just keep my head up, read, and answer things that I still can cause I wanna finish this strong.

I know that God is with me, with us, all takers. I know that I should not be afraid 'cause God will make things work in accordance to His will.

But what if this isn't His will for me?

It'll be painful. Im still a human, after all. Knowing I have to go through the process all over again. That's why I keep asking God to give me enough strength and courage to accept whatever the result of the examination is. But I know even if God does so, I will still be in so much pain. (I dont wanna entertain this thought for now)

Lord,

I may not be one of your nicest and kindest children, but I pray to guide me all throughout this journey. With the 5 days remaining before our board exam, please help me choose the right material to go through for the remaining days. Please obtain for me the same fate that happened to me during our revalida.

I can't do this all by myself, Lord. I need you. I need you, Lord.

[randomstudentblog]

Exactly 10 days left before the big day. Ang dami ko pang hindi alam, mga bagay na nalilimutan. I cant help but compare myself to other's progress and score. Alam kong I should just focus on my track, pero i just cant help it.

I know deep within me wants to top the boards but my preboard, assessment, exam scores just keep reminding me that it's impossible.

10 days left, I promised myself before that the day wont come where I'll regret that i didnt do my best. That day has come. I regret not giving my 100% on this review season. I regret not studying enough when i still had the time. Now I'm cramming, forgetting almost everything that I have studied.

With my scores right now, I just want to pass the boards (little part of me still wants to top it even though it may seem impossible, perhaps it's because I believe that with God nothing is impossible.)

10 days left. Lord, please guide me, us until the end of this journey. Many of us, if not most of us, are already anxious. Hyss Lord, whatever your Will is, let it be done.

[randomstudentblog]

My life is not mine, but Yours. Let Thy will be done.

Whatever the result is, passed, failed, topped, or not, Lord, please give me enough strength and courage to accept it.

You know me better than anyone, You know what's best for me. Please help me to align my desire and prayers according to Your will.

Right now, Lord, I dont know what to do anymore. I still have a lot of things that I dont know. Fear and anxiety crawls in, but I know that im not alone.

[randomstudentblog]

RMT NA AKO!!!

[randomstudentblog]

Lord, pleasee ibigay mo na po 'to saakin. Di ko na kakayanin mag review ulit ng ganto katagal.

Pleaseee po,Lord.

[randomstudentblog]

RMT NA AKO NEXT MONTH!!!!

[randomstudentblog]

Loooord, pleasseee tulungan mo po akong ipasa ang March 2024 MTLE

Pleasseee po Lordd 🙏 🥺

[randomstudentblog]

Napanaginipan kong nakapasa na ako sa MTLE!!! 🥹😭

Loooord, gabayan niyo po ako hanggang sa dulo

[randomstudentblog]

Almost there

[randomstudentblog]

Me when recalling information

[randomstudentblog]

12/25/23

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Happy birthday, Jesus!

I know it's your birthday, and it should be you who's making wishes, but Lord, please pleasse make me an RMT on March 26,2024

Sana po maging RMT na kami sa March 26, 2024

[randomstudentblog]

12/24/23

Ang bilis ng panahon. Kakailan lang, 100 days left before mtle tapos ngayon it's 87 days left nalang. Hindi ko alam kung anong pinag gagawa ko. Ang dami ko pa rin hindi alam. Ang dami ko pa rin backlogs kahit last week pa tapos yung review namin sa review center.

I've been slacking off lately.

Lord, I know I have been distant to you lately , not praying, not going to church, but I do believe in You. I believe that you are capable of doing extraordinary.

It's your birthday tomorrow, but Lord, sana po ibigay mo na po saakin yung lisensiya sa March 2024. I may not be the most faithful churchgoer, and I may not be the most "Christian," but I hope you'll still grant my wish.

Ibigay mo lang po saakin Lord ang licensiya sa March, I will help other students to get theirs as well.

**Lord, gusto kong umiyak kasi nararamdaman ko na parang mas bumibigat ang dala dala ko but I dont know what's wrong with me kasi kahit anong pilit ko, hindi po talaga ako naiiyak. Lord, whatever is something wrong me, please e-heal mo po ako, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

My life is not mine, but Yours. Please help me become one of your instruments to carry out Your mission here on Earth.

[randomstudentblog]

ang bagaal ko mag aral, 1 topic in CC almost always take me 3-4 hrs.

nalulunod na ako sa backlogs

the thought of me not passing the boards keep creeping in

my study sched is very inconsistent

almost 100 days left before mtle 2024 and yet i feel like I havent retained the things im studying

wala akong karapatan mapagod kasi mas napapagod/ napagod magulang ko sa pag paaral saakin.

Lord, bigyan mo po ako ng lakas hanggang sa matapos at maipasa ko ang MTLE 2024. Hindi ko po ito kakayanin mag isa, kailangan po kita.