randomvoice29 - Tumblr blog

[randomvoice29]

First Post - Quarantine

I have been meaning to do this; create some type of content of my thoughts. Random it is that the inspiration I found under quarantine. The time where the thoughts are more profound when the noise is so quite. Unfortunately I will not show my friends or family this site because I am looking for the privacy of the unknown. To only be known for my thoughts and rambles. 

I am sleeping more. I am tired. I am sad & concerned. I am not on my phone as much except for reading more. I am here; a woman who was busy with two jobs, a side business, crossfit & lifting, a house, a new car, and so much other tedious responsibilities. The average Jane as they say but the reality is I am not average & my name isn't Jane. I am focusing on myself and where I want to grow. This platform is freedom to me. So if you are reading this thank you. 

It reminds me of high school and our writing class. Where we would write in journals and when we turn them in the teacher said he would read them. I never felt comfortable telling my true feelings. In high school I was going through a lot, curious, wondering what all of this is for. Not being able to see the bigger picture. I see the big picture now. I see my impact on the world and how I am important. Back in that writing class I use to draw boxes and write “check the box if you've read it”. The box would always be checked. The teacher, a young man who was kinda nerdy and socially awkward, read what I wrote. Did that check mark indicate that he cared? Maybe? Maybe he really enjoyed knowing what was going on with his students? Maybe he wanted to know all the juicy tea we were so willingly spilling for him to know? I noticed there that people are reading, watching, looking, stalking, clicking, viewing things that you and I are doing. It is a level of vulnerability that I choose to put a face to the name. I am not there yet. Maybe this will bridge the gap.

As an adult I understand that people are here for various reasons; reading other peoples words under whatever context they interpret. It is my choice and freewill that I am writing my thoughts. I hope to cover different topics that have come up in my life and process them as a way to heal. I journal everyday and I love the creativity it cultivates. I have no formal education but have a whole lot of life experience. In this period of my life I want to explore my voice and learn more about myself.