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randomwriter1021 · 1 year

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I loved this so freaking much. They are so cute

Summary: What will you do when Bucky figures out your biggest secret?

Warnings: self inflicted wounds/suicide (see notes at end for more information if you'd like to know more before reading!), drunk driver, aliens that are like bees

Word Count: 8964

a/n: AHHH I've been writing this for forever! Every time I thought it was the end, I realized I had more to say lol. Another fic where we pretend everyone is alive and living happily together 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also, please ignore all the fake shit I made up about these freaking aliens and bees and the like... it just kind of happened. I tried to stick to the comics and it really just snowballed.

Masterlist

"Hey, Y/N," Sam greeted you as you boarded the jet. "You ready for this one?"

"Shouldn't be any different from the last five," you quipped back having grown used to the team of four. You, Sam, Steve, and Wanda had gone on five consecutive missions together, getting in and getting things done quickly. Sam eyed you curiously, seemingly confused. "What?"

"Steve isn't the only super soldier coming on this one," Wanda cut in. "Bucky is too."

"Oh," you stilled in your movements, the shock of Bucky going on a mission with you throwing you off. He's been with the team for a little over a year, going on missions for the last three months of that time. In those three months, you are the only one he has never gone on a mission with. "Should be fun."

Sam and Wanda both looked like they wanted to say more, but just then Steve and Bucky boarded the jet. Steve glanced around, verifying everyone was present, before closing the hatch.

You barely listened as he explained the mission. Your eyes kept flitting between the file in your hands and Bucky sitting next to Steve, distracting you. Bucky has been sort of an enigma to you since he joined the team.

After all the time and research you put in to find the Winter Soldier, you definitely admired Bucky. You read through countless files about what he'd been through in your efforts to pinpoint his location, learning way more about the pain and torture he'd endured than you ever thought you would.

When you tuned back into the current conversation, Steve was wrapping up the mission details. Thankfully, you were already familiar with the file. It was a simple op. Get in, download the files, get out. Sam would provide air support while the rest of you split into two teams, downloading files from two separate computers on opposite sides of the facility.

In hindsight, it made sense to have a fifth person on the mission. You should have seen it coming. Still, even if you had seen it coming, you wouldn't have expected it to be Bucky, not with how he steadfastly avoids you at all costs.

Shaking off the weird feeling, you focused on going over your plan for infiltration. You and Steve were paired, likely because Bucky refused to work with you. Again, you shook it off. His feelings made no sense to you, but now was not the time to figure it out.

"Everyone ready?" Steve asked, preparing to open the hatch now that the jet had landed. With nods from the team, he pressed the button and everyone took off.

"Shit!" you yelped as you dodged another spray of bullets, the thumb drive with the files you needed secured in your pocket.

"Bucky, Wanda, what's your status?" Steve called into the comms, using his shield to deflect the bullets back toward your assailants.

"Files secured," Wanda shouted back. She sounded just as out of breath as you, clearly in the middle of something. A few seconds later, Bucky chimed in.

"Wilson just took out the last of them on our side," he said cooly. His voice was completely level, no sign of exhaustion present. "On route back to the jet."

"Swing by the west side, we're surrounded," Steve asked, still trying to figure out a way out. Thankfully, it didn't take long for them to get to you.

Their arrival drew some of the fire, giving you and Steve the opportunity you needed to escape the corner you'd been backed into. You were sprinting through an open area when you noticed a lone sniper aiming for Wanda.

"Wanda, duck!" you screamed, jumping in front of her just as he fired the gun. You fired your own weapon, hitting the agent square between the eyes as you dropped to the ground. "Mother fucker," you grunted, hand already reaching for the wound in you leg. The sheer amount of blood told you all you needed to know. You didn't have long.

"Y/N!" The rest of the team was suddenly at your side, their faces portraying various panicked expressions. You barely registered the pain on Bucky's face as the whole world faded to black.

The first time you died you were 16.

Your friend Cheryl had just gotten her license, and despite your parents rules about not riding in the car if any of your friends were driving, you went with her to the mall. You were only six minutes from your house when a drunk driver swerved into your lane, sending you and Cheryl careening off the road and into a tree.

You would've both been fine if another car didn't follow your path off the road, crash into your car, and send you flying into the lake. The last thing you remember was desperately trying to remove your seatbelt as water filled your lungs.

Next thing you know, you were back in the parking lot of the mall with Cheryl as if you hadn't left yet- the one key difference being your inability to breath properly. Your sporadic coughing fit caught her attention as the two of you buckled up to leave.

"You good?" she questioned, eyeing you with worry. Your coughs tapered out, confusion riddling your own expression.

"I don't... yeah. I'm fine," you answered, shaking off the sense of deja vu as she pulled out of the parking lot. Your lungs were still burning when the same crash happened again. You were six minutes from your house, once again desperately trying to free yourself and Cheryl from the car and then, bam. You were back in the parking lot.

"What the fuck?" you mumbled, through the coughing fit.

"Are you okay?" Cheryl asked, patting your back in an effort to help.

"Fine," you grumbled, still confused by what was happening. "Can we stop at CVS for some cough drops?"

"Sure thing," she answered as she pulled out of the parking spot. You ran into CVS quickly, getting back in the car and making your way home. Six minutes from your house, you saw the car that crashed into you.

"Stop!" you abruptly yelled, practically jumping out of the car when you noticed the car crashed into the tree where you and Cheryl should've been, the car that swerved into your lane crashed into a light pole on the other side of the street. "Call 911!" you shouted at Cheryl as you ran to check on the people in the car.

It wasn't long before the police and ambulances arrived, calling your parents to pick you up from the scene. From what you could tell, everyone involved would make a full recovery, especially since no cars were sent into the lake.

Your parents were quick to lecture you about riding in the car with Cheryl, but your mind was a million miles away.

"Y/N! Are you even listening? That could've been you!" your mom shouted, maybe a bit out of anger for you ignoring her rules, but mostly out of fear. Little did she know how close it was.

"Swing by the west side, we're surrounded," Steve's voice sounded from next to you, cluing you back into your surroundings. You leaned slightly, favoring your right leg as the feeling of a bullet tearing through your left thigh lingered.

Once again, it didn't take long for your backup to arrive. Sam, Bucky, and Wanda gave you the chance you needed to move back toward the jet. This time, when the opportunity came, you took out the sniper before he could even aim the gun in Wanda's direction.

Before long, all five of you were safe and sound in the confines of the jet, treating minor scrapes instead of bullet wounds.

"Nice work," Steve said to everyone. "Y/N, I don't know how you noticed that sniper so quickly." He shook his head as he spoke. Despite years of working together, the team was always impressed with your quick thinking. Or at least, what they thought was quick thinking.

"Luck was on my side, I guess," you shrugged off the compliment, still slightly favoring your right leg as you shifted in your seat. Bucky stared at you as if he could see right through you, but when you met his eye he looked away.

It seems like this mission wouldn't do anything to change Bucky's avoidance of you.

The third time you died was in college. You had chalked your high school experience up to trauma, and moved on. It took a few years, but you figured you were remembering it wrong or something. It just wasn't logical to assume you drowned and then came back to life only to relive it.

In fact, you chose not to think about the experience ever again. Until, one day, on your way to class you noticed a little boy playing with a bouncy ball while walking with his parents. The ball must've hit a crack, because instead of bouncing back up into his hand, it flew into the street. Without a thought, he chased after the ball. It wouldn't have been a problem if not for the truck coming down the street at that exact moment.

It was an easy decision for you to try to save the child. You pushed him out of the way of the vehicle, taking the hit yourself. Pain coursed through your body as multiple bones cracked and the world slowly faded to black amidst the sound of sirens and screaming.

You woke up fifteen minutes before it happened, walking down the street as if you had just left for class. Your body ached as the injuries lingered. You felt that familiar deja vu as you came upon the child and his parents once again.

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion as you watched the boy bounce the ball. You sped up your walking, just barely catching the ball before the kid could decide to walk into the street. Instead of being hit by the truck, you simply felt the wind on your face as it sped by.

You quickly gave the child the ball, practically running to your lecture hall so you could freak out in the privacy of the bathroom. Even in a world where people like Captain America exist, you never thought you would actually have some sort of super power.

So, you ignored it. For as long as you could, you pretended it didn't exist. You didn't tell a single soul about what happened. Either time. You just continued on with college, trying to study for your tests and live your life like a normal person.

Then, the battle of New York happened, and ignoring it no longer seemed possible.

It felt like any other day in New York. Of course, you'd heard about the attack in Germany, but it seemed like an isolated incident. From what the news was showing, the threat had been handled. It wasn't until aliens burst out of the sky in New York that anyone outside of government intelligence really knew anything serious was happening.

Now, living in New York City has its pros and cons. You just never thought dealing with an alien invasion would make the list. At first, it was only slightly out of the ordinary. It certainly wasn't unusual for bright lights and loud noises to emanate from Stark Tower. Afterall, everyone knows who Iron Man is.

Tony Stark falling through the sky without the suit, though? Not exactly your typical day in the city. Of course, today of all days was the first time in months your friends had managed to convince you to go to brunch with them rather than making it at home. New York was expensive enough. You didn't need to add exorbitant meals out on the town to your list of expenses.

Even more of a coincidence was the location of the chosen restaurant: one block east of Stark Tower. So, when the aliens came pouring out of that hole in the sky, you were there. When the explosions started and people panicked, you were there. When Steve Rogers started calling out instructions, you were there.

"Ma'am, civilian extraction is happening through the subway," the Captain called after you, seeing as you were running the wrong direction. Honestly, by the time he spoke to you, you had already died. Twice. Once by explosion and once by alien weaponry.

"Extraction isn't what I was going for, and you don't seem to be in the position of turning down volunteers," you replied, grabbing a discarded alien gun and taking aim. Surprising yourself and the Captain, you managed to hit a few stray aliens. "Y/N L/N, nice to meet you."

"Steve Rogers," he nodded in your direction, accepting the help despite his better judgement. "Just don't die."

"You got it, Captain."

And that's how you managed to join the Avengers. Unbeknownst to Steve, you weren't able to follow his one instruction. During the Battle of New York, you died three more times. Of course, each time you came back you managed to save the people around you.

By the time you finished, you felt like you could sleep for a year. Each death brought with it the residual pain of being stabbed, beaten, and bruised. Your lungs felt full of smoke, and your entire body was in pain. Still, you were able to help at least a little bit.

After that, you started actually training to fight. It seems Shield was impressed with your ability to survive - ha, jokes on them- throughout the fight. Before long, you were going on missions with the team, none of them the wiser about your hidden ability.

You settled into a new normal. Training, missions, living in the tower. Just when you were finally getting the hang of things, everything went to shit. Again.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

Everything seemed to freeze for Steve. In the short time you've known Steve Rogers, you've never seen him freeze during a fight. He's always prepared for the next attack. Seeing him completely stop fighting was enough for you to second guess yourself as well.

Nat and Sam were not so easily swayed. Sam attacked first, catching the man off guard. Just as he was about to shoot Steve, Nat launched a grenade to throw him off. His shot ended up off target, but still struck someone.

You felt the bullet rip through your abdomen, the sensation still causing you immense pain despite the numerous times you've died via gunshot wound.

"Shit," you cursed, the blood already seeping through your clothes and spreading.

"Y/N!" Steve ran to you, putting pressure on the wound. You could feel the world fading, the familiar feeling of dying beginning to take over. Nat and Sam surrounded you, paying no attention to the various cars full of Hydra agents coming to collect them. "I- I'm sorry," he mumbled, eyes tearing up.

It never got easier for you to watch your friends when they think you're dying. A part of you wanted to just tell them, but another part thought they wouldn't believe you. Even with all of the crazy things they've seen, how can you prove to them you can't die? They won't realize it ever happened since you seem to travel back in time.

The first time it happened, you tried to explain it. A mission went bad, the intel too outdated. Steve and Nat were by your side as you bled out. You explained as much as you could in the little time you had left, but when you woke up fifteen minutes earlier they had no recollection of the conversation. It was easier if they didn’t know.

"Steve, I'll be right back." You had just enough time to see the confusion on his face before you were suddenly waking.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

This time, you were prepared for the stray bullet. You ducked out of the way just before the bullet went flying through the place you just stood.

That was your first interaction with the Winter Soldier, but definitely not your last. The two of you fought while trying to take down the helicarriers. Being in charge of air support was definitely made more difficult by the Winter Soldier. Every craft you had was either shot down or prevented from even taking off.

"Bucky, right?" you called to him, figuring you could at least try to distract him from making things harder for Steve. He didn't reply, merely taking out another gun and aiming it at you. You relied on your training to guide you through the fight, doing your best to disarm him with each new weapon drawn.

"Seriously?" you muttered when he took out a fifth gun. You were just barely too slow to stop him, a bullet flying straight through your head.

"Bucky, right?"

The words escaped without a thought, restarting the few minutes you managed to stay alive. Your head pounded with the residual pain from the bullet, but you didn't have time to waste. You went through the fight again, this time dodging the fifth gun and kicking it out of his hand.

"Out of guns?" you quipped, more hopeful than joking. As if on cue, he pulled a knife from the side of his tactical suit. "Of course." You dodged his first strike, doing your best to avoid the blade. His attack was relentless, never letting up even as you grew more and more fatigued.

Eventually, the knife connected. The pain radiated through you, only growing when he twisted the knife. You couldn't hold in the scream that escaped you, the voices in your ear unable to help.

"Y/N, status?" Sam called, having just deactivated the second helicarrier.

You didn't have time to reply as the world once again faded to black.

"Bucky, right?"

It was more of a groan than anything this time around, your head still pounding and your side on fire. Still, you fought as hard as you could to prevent him from getting to Steve.

You made it past the guns, shivering at the sight of the all too familiar knife. It was easier to predict his moves this time, having grown more and more familiar with his fighting style with each iteration. Somehow, you managed to rid him of the knife, purely fighting hand to hand.

"Y/N, status?" Sam once again asked, his task complete.

"A little busy at the moment," you yelled, crouching at just the right moment to avoid a metal fist to the face. Your attempt to turn out of his grip was blocked, trapping you between him and a wall.

"Bucky, you don't have to do this," you nearly begged trying to figure out a way to just stay alive. There was no recognition in his eyes as he choked the life out of you, ignoring your desperate pleas for your life.

"Bucky, right?"

Your throat screamed at you as you coughed out the words, earning the slightest look of confusion from him before he once again aimed his gun.

It may have been your own exhaustion, but it almost felt as though he was fighting with more determination than before. It sort of seemed like he was feeling the deja vu you've grown so familiar with.

"Y/N, status?" Sam's voice in your ear drew you back to the present.

"A little busy at the moment," you yelled, crouching and spinning the opposite way from your previous fight. The escape worked, allowing you a few seconds reprieve. It was enough time for Sam to join you in the fight.

Unfortunately, the Winter Soldier seemed prepared for his arrival, using a seemingly specialized tool to rid Sam of his wings. It wasn't long before he had the two of you thrown across the air strip, giving him enough time to get away.

"Fuck," you winced. "He's coming for you Steve." You barely made it through the sentence before you were collapsing on the ground.

"On your left," Steve's voice garnered your attention. Looking to your left, you noticed Steve in a hospital bed next to you, Sam sitting in a chair between you.

"Look at that, you're both up." Sam smirked, although you could see the joy behind the expression.

"What happened to you?" Steve asked, his voice showing the concern his face was too beat up to express.

"Oh, you know. Got into it with a guy with a metal arm. Hard fight to win," you joked. You were still recovering from the trauma of dying three times in a row like that. Even with the Battle of New York you managed to spread them out more. "We gonna find him?"

Steve wasted no time in admitting the truth you and Sam were already expecting. "We're going to try."

And try you did, until you found him. It took months and months of research, tracking down leads that got you nowhere, and many late nights. There were even a few times you were certain he had been in the location, and you missed him by days, maybe even hours.

Still, after nearly a year and a half of searching, you found him. There are very few moments in your life that can compare to the joy on Steve Roger's face as you finally found his best friend.

Of course, Bucky fought you on it. It was nothing like the last time you fought, leaning more verbal than physical. Bucky didn't know how long he'd be free. All they need to do was say the words and he'd be forced back into that life. Running seemed easier.

"I might be able to help with that," you piped in. It was the first thing you said during the whole conversation, surprising the men. Bucky looked at you like he'd seen a ghost, but you brushed it off.

You went on to explain how during your research into the Winter Soldier, you got into contact with some new people. The same people who helped you track Bucky down, actually. "I may have anticipated this exact problem, and I know someone who could help you."

Eventually, you convinced them all to go with you to Wakanda. The world still thought of Wakanda as a third world country, but you knew better. Their resources and technology are unmatched. During the flight, you explained as much as you could about the country.

When you landed, T'Challa and Shuri were more than welcoming. Shuri even seemed excited about the idea of helping Bucky, glad to show off her skills to someone new. She had already started on an algorithm to remove the trigger words from his mind and restore his memory, but there would be some trial and error along the way.

"You sure, Buck?" Steve asked, knowing Bucky needed this, but still desperate to just have his friend back.

"I can't trust my own mind," Bucky lamented, confirming his decision.

"We'll be here for you when you're ready," Steve promised, hugging him before letting him go. Bucky merely nodded at you, still unsure about the lingering feeling he had that he knew you.

Several months later, you watched as Steve took a phone call, the look of joy on his rivaling the only other time you'd seen anyone so happy. You knew what it was about instantly. You were ready to fly back to Wakanda before he even hung up the call.

You thought it would be easy enough to befriend Bucky now that he would be joining the team, but things couldn't be further from the truth.

"Steve, please!" you begged, desperate for anything. "Just send me somewhere, I can't keep doing this."

"Y/N, you can't avoid your problems and hope they solve themselves," he reprimanded. Steve was just as hopeful as you were about you befriending Bucky.

"I'm not avoiding my problem!" you glared, muttering under your breath. "My problem is avoiding me."

Ever since Bucky joined the team, he has said all of two words to you. You'd only ever been on one mission with the man. Despite your many attempts to even just say hi, the two of you could barely be considered colleagues, let alone friends.

Just before Steve could respond, both of your phones chimed. Steve rolled his eyes at your excitement, but you both started off toward the quinjet after reading about the emergency mission. Upon arrival, you realized Sam, Clint, Wanda, and Bucky had also been called for the mission.

It's been a while since any single mission required this much man power, so your nerves were instantly on edge. Not to mention, the way Bucky steadfastly avoided any and all interactions with you certainly didn't help.

"What have we got?" Steve asked, turning to Fury.

"A nest of Brood have been discovered in Texas. Intel says they will continue to consume any and all resources they can find unless they're stopped." Fury glared as he spoke, nearly seeming uninterested.

"How do we stop them?" Steve questioned, eyes scanning the file folder for information.

"Find the queen," you answered, already having read through the file. "They're like bees, can't survive without a queen. Only, it's instantaneous." Fury's grim nod was enough confirmation for everyone to get moving. You all boarded the jet, going over the files to learn as much as possible about the newly discovered alien species.

"They enjoy the suffering they cause?" Clint questioned, his grimace quickly being mirrored by the rest of the team.

"This is so highly disturbing," you muttered, more so to yourself than anyone in particular. "Giant fucking bees, dead set on killing you." Still, everyone hummed in agreement.

Before long, Steve was laying out his plan. Sam and Clint will take the high ground, warning of any surprises. He and Wanda are going to cause a diversion while you and Bucky search for the queen, using a specially designed weapon to kill it. Taking out the queen will send the rest of the Brood into chaos, effectively shutting down the entire nest.

You glared at Steve when he paired you with Bucky, but it wasn't hard to understand his decision. Maybe working with Bucky will help the two of you get past whatever it is that's causing the awkwardness. Plus, with his stealth skills and your, albeit unknown, ability to not die, it made the most sense for the two of you to tackle that part of the mission.

"Status?" Steve asked through the comms, wanting everyone to check in now that the team had split up. Thermal satellite images showed the building that contained the most Brood, signalling where the center of your attack would take place

"The nest seems confined to this block for now," Sam checked in first having completed his initial aerial surveillance. "Clint's in position to the northwest."

"Copy," Steve muttered in between hits to the stragglers he and Wanda had come across.

"I think we found the eggs, but they don't look normal" you muttered. Even through the comms it was easy to hear the disgust in your voice. You and Bucky had made it a few floors up in the building. "There must be thousands in here."

"We seem to be collecting a crowd out here," Wanda chimed in. You could hear the faint sounds of her attacking the aliens as they came up to her.

"The queen must be near the eggs, keep us updated," Steve instructed, effectively cutting off the conversation for now.

You and Bucky traversed through the eggs, doing your best to avoid crushing any. You'd already made that mistake, and the smell was foul. As you scanned the room for any sign of where to find the queen, you couldn't help but let your mind wander. Eventually, the thoughts were too loud to keep inside.

"Why do you always avoid me?" you asked bluntly, eyes widening when you realized you said it out loud. Thankfully, you didn't have to look at his reaction, pretending to be too focused on searching the eggs.

"I don't avoid you," Bucky muttered unconvincingly. Despite your best interest, you turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. He rolled his eyes, about to say something else when you noticed a door on the other side of the room. You could just barely make out movement through the small glass windowpane.

"There," you pointed. "There's... something in there." You and Bucky were instantly focused back on the mission, approaching the door in an eerie silence.

He looked in first, signalling for you to do the same. The room was filled with even more eggs, but you could spot a few full fledged aliens as well. It seemed they were all focused on something in the corner to the left of the door, just out of your view.

You moved to either side of the door, trying to come up with a plan. If you couldn't confirm the queen was in the room, it would blow the surprise you currently had. Steve and Wanda's distraction would only hold if you found the queen on your first shot.

It seemed you were at an impasse, needing to know what was in the room, but not able to check.

"I'll go in," you told him confidently, hoping he wouldn't question you. "You stay here." Apparently, you caught him off guard because you were two steps into the room before he started protesting.

The room was much larger than you anticipated, but the queen was definitely inside. She seemed to be fertilizing the eggs, whatever the Brood equivalent of male drone bees was helping her. Only, the fertilization process was nothing like that of bees. The eggs weren't eggs at all, but embryos.

Each embryo needed a host, some other living creature. All of the ones you’d passed in the hall were rotting because they didn’t have a host. There was a variety of animals throughout the room, all seemingly under control of the embryos that were infecting them. They all seemed to be in different stages of the reproduction process, morphing into Brood but still half resembling the creatures they were before. It was easily the most horrifying thing you'd ever seen.

You were quick to draw the attention of the Brood, but that's what you were expecting. You pushed Bucky back into the hall as they surrounded you, leaving him with no choice but to start beating down the door.

You fought them as they approached, but it was too many for you to handle. They were quick to overtake you, except they didn't kill you outright. No, they wanted to use you as a host for the parasitic reproduction process.

You screamed as they latched onto your limbs, holding you still for the queen to implant an embryo in your neck. You did everything in your power to escape their hold, thrashing and kicking more and more as you felt an agonizing pain in your neck. They simply fed on your fear, genuinely enjoying the activity just as the file said.

Just as the embryo was implanted, Bucky burst through the door. You were screaming, an absolute agony spreading through your body as you felt the foreign parasite start infecting you. It leached through your blood, only causing more and more pain as it spread. You could feel your control slipping away, but if this plan was going to work you needed to die.

You made eye contact with Bucky as the Brood switched focus. The distraction was all you needed to pull your gun and shoot yourself in the head, Bucky's panicked expression the last thing you saw.

"I don't avoid you." You once again heard Bucky mutter the words, but you could barely focus on him. You paid no attention to the confusion lingering in his voice this time around. You paid no attention to the way he looked at the door behind him and then back at you. You paid him no attention at all.

You could still feel the poison flowing through your veins, an unbearable fire burning through you as you tried to come down from your latest death. The pounding headache from the bullet felt like a paper cut compared to the lingering pain from the Brood.

"Y/N?" Bucky approached you slowly, concern etched in every feature on his face. His lips turned down in a frown, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes showcasing emotion so deep you could dive into them and never reach the bottom.

You desperately looked around the room, trying to find something to remind you that you were indeed alive. Your hands desperately scratched at your neck, feeling for any sign of the embryo being implanted. Your skittish movements slowed when you couldn't find the slightest of bumps, but your breathing was still labored.

Bucky made it to you, reaching out a hand to ground you in reality. Once your breathing slowed a bit, he gently helped you to your feet. With one hand rubbing soothing circles on your back, and the other holding your own to his chest, he helped you follow his own breathing pattern. In and out, in and out.

You couldn't say how long you stood together like that, but soon enough Steve was in your ear asking for another update.

"We found the queen," you supplied, voice strained ever so slightly. You expected Bucky to look confused, but he merely nodded in response.

"Starting phase two now," Bucky added when he realized you were done talking.

Once again, Steve asked for you to keep him posted, but you barely understood the words in your ear. Why was Bucky acting like he knew where the queen was? He shouldn't remember that...

"We'll go through this wall," he gestured further down the room. "I'll aim the sensor, when it locks you can shoot, okay?"

You barely managed a nod. Not wanting to screw up the mission, you followed Bucky's lead. It was easier to ignore the confusion anyway- to just pretend like his behavior made sense even if it seemed impossible. Because you knew the exact location of the queen, you could pinpoint which Brood to hit. Bucky aimed the target, counting you down to when it would lock.

"3... 2... 1, shoot!" Bucky yelled over the noise of the machine, startling you back into action. You pressed the button, a fairly simple task, and watched as the miniscule weapon fired through the wall and into the queen.

The sensor allowed you and Bucky to watch as the queen convulsed. The body spasmed as the weapon took effect, destroying the queen from the inside. Eventually, the movements stopped and everything was eerily quiet for a moment. You waited with bated breath, expecting something else to go wrong.

"I take it you got the queen?" Steve questioned, continuing when there was no immediate response. "Every Brood out here just collapsed."

"Yeah, we got the queen..." you muttered, still reeling from everything that just happened.

"We'll meet you back at the jet," Bucky once again picked up where you left off. Neither of you said anything as he lead you outside of the building and back toward the jet. You both boarded in silence, barely even glancing at everyone else as you sat down. Bucky sat on the opposite side of the jet, his eyes flickering over to you every few seconds.

"That was the nastiest thing I've ever seen," Sam groaned, shivering as if it would clear his mind of the memories of the Brood.

Wanda nodded, getting read to reply when she froze, eyes focusing on you. Sam followed her line of sight, quickly understanding what had her so concerned.

"You okay, Y/N? You look pretty freaked out," Sam asked, concerned over your blank stare.

"I-I, um..." you stuttered, twitching slightly. You were still recovering from the feeling of the queen implanting an embryo under your skin. "I'm fine."

Of course, nobody believed you. They could see the fear in your eyes, the pain lingering under the surface. Your stuttering only increased their concern. Even in the most dire of situations, you've never been anything but confident. It comes with the territory of knowing you won't die.

"I killed you," Bucky whispered, the words bursting out of him as realization dawned. His mouth hung open slightly, jaw slack with surprise. Steve had just come to sit with the group after setting the coordinates for autopilot, hearing Bucky but not understanding.

"What?" Steve looked at Bucky, confusion lacing his features. It seems Clint, Wanda, and Sam were too focused on you to hear Bucky's mumbled whisper, but Steve caught it. Bucky merely stared at you, his heart breaking as he came to actually understand the gravity of what he just saw.

Steve looked between you and Bucky, trying to figure out what happened. You both seemed frozen, a million emotions playing across your faces.

"I killed you," Bucky repeated, louder now that he understood what he was saying. Your eyes met his, and you could feel your heart breaking from the pain in his eyes. Immediately, you started shaking your head.

"No, Bucky. No. It wasn't you." Bucky jolted, surprised by the conviction in your voice when you could barely whisper a few minutes ago. The rest of the team looked between you, confused and distraught.

"I thought they were nightmares... I thought it was my own mind punishing me for wanting something good. But it really happened... I really killed you." Bucky's voice broke, emotion overflowing with each word. Tears pooled in his eyes, his jaw still slack with surprise. He was so focused on you, on the pain he must have caused you.

"Bucky, no. I'm fine!" You struggled to remove your seatbelt, hands shaking. You barely had the capacity to comprehend what his words meant, your heart only aching more with the thoughts. When you finally got free, you quickly moved to kneel in front of him. You held his face in your hands, your own tears pooling as you tried to explain. "You didn't hurt me."

"I did," he whispered, voice utterly broken. The rest of the team had retreated, still trying to follow the conversation, but too clueless to make any sense of it. "You can feel the pain. I don't know how, but you can feel the pain after you come back. I just saw it."

You desperately tried to wipe the few tears as they fell, shaking your head in disagreement. Your own tears blurred your vision, but you refused to let go of him.

"You felt everything I did to you,” he choked out. After months of convincing himself to work up the courage to even talk to you, Bucky was ready. After this mission, he was going to change things. He was going to be "stronger than the nightmares" in Steve's words. But now? Every time he looks at you, he hears you begging for your life while he chokes the last breath from your lungs.

"Bucky, I-” You were at a loss for words. Nobody else had ever figured out your power before. Even after you explained it to them, nobody else remembered. It wasn’t a conversation you ever saw yourself having. You had no idea how to help him. Eventually, you just started talking, desperately saying anything that could soothe him.

“This time was different. It's not normally so... traumatic. I'm not normally so afraid. The Brood- when I went in there, I thought they would kill me. I thought it was the only way, and then we would know where the queen was. I didn't think they'd... do that. That's why it hurt so bad this time. Whatever they did made it hurt. I swear, it fades away really quickly." You were gearing up to keep explaining when Bucky's voice drew you out of your own head.

"How many times?" he asked, his grief turning to worry.

"What?" you countered, not following his train of thought.

"How many times have you died?" His question hung in the air, everyone on the jet seemingly holding their breath.

"Bucky, I don't-" you shook your head, not seeing how that information could help.

"Please?" he pleaded, voice breaking. "How many times?"

"23," you whispered. Your hands fell from his face as you thought about each time you've died. You retreated into yourself, still kneeling on the floor. "The first time was when I was 16."

You had closed your eyes when you answered him, the feeling of sharing the one thing you'd never told anyone too overwhelming. You were surprised when Bucky reached out to help you up, not even realizing he had moved from his seat.

He looked into your eyes, searching for any sign of hesitation, before pulling you into a hug. He held you to him tightly, one hand across your back and the other buried in your hair. You clung to him just as tightly, drawing comfort but trying to provide it as well.

"It's not your fault," you whispered in an attempt to convince him. "You have to know it wasn't you." You felt him nod against you. You wanted to hear him say it, but a nod would suffice for now.

Suddenly, the jet was touching down at the compound. The slight jolt was enough for you and Bucky to separate. The rest of the team was still staring at you, nobody making a move to exit. You jumped when the hatch opened, Nat and Tony popping in with concerned expressions.

Nat looked between you and Bucky, one eyebrow lifted at your close proximity. Tony didn't seem to notice. He was too busy wondering why nobody had gotten off the jet yet.

"I heard the mission was successful. Why the long faces?" he joked, unaware of the tension. It didn't take him long to catch on.

It was as if his words shocked Bucky into motion. In the blink of an eye, he was out of the jet and in the elevator. You stared after him, mouth agape and eyes watering once again.

"Y/N?" Tony asked, concerned over your wellbeing. Suddenly, everyone was looking at you again. "What happened?"

You sputtered out a few syllables in response, unable to form anything coherent. Your mind was moving too fast for you to understand anything you were feeling. Random thoughts were running through your brain, eventually providing one that could answer Tony's question.

"I shot myself in the head."

Once again, the jet was silent. Nobody knew how to respond to a statement like that. Tony was especially confused, having missed the previous conversation.

"You what?" he balked, frantically looking you over for any wounds. "But... you're fine?"

"We needed to find the queen..." you whispered. Your fingers brushed over your neck as your entire body began shivering with the memories of the Brood. "The embryo..."

"Hey, why don't we go inside?" Steve asked, leading you off the jet without waiting for an answer. He finally overcame the confusion and shock of the previous conversation, recognizing the panic in your eyes.

"Bucky..." you mumbled, still reliving the story. "Bucky saved me."

He lead you to the med bay, facing no resistance from you. Everyone else followed behind, Sam, Clint, and Wanda filling in Nat and Tony. You didn't hear any of their conversation. The only thing you could hear was Bucky's voice when he realized it was all real. By the time you reached Bruce and Helen, you were catatonic.

"What happened?" Bruce asked, his concern revolving around the potential for an unknown alien illness. Once again, Sam, Clint, and Wanda explained the conversation from the jet. Bruce's worry shifted, his concern now revolving around the trauma and pain you've endured alone.

Eventually, your lack of physical injury lead to the team of doctors deciding to give you a sedative. You needed rest before anything else could be done. You didn't protest as you they laid you down in a hospital bed and started an IV.

Bucky was panicking. He couldn't get the look on your face as you died over and over again out of his head. He didn't detour as he left the jet, heading straight for the gym. Maybe it wasn't the best coping mechanism, but punching things is something he's good at. Every time he heard your screams, he pushed himself harder.

That is where Steve found him a couple hours later. He made it through four punching bags in that time, hanging a new one when Steve stopped him.

"You gonna spend the rest of your life in here?" Steve asked, trying to lighten the mood. Bucky glared at him, but set the punching bag aside nonetheless. Steve decided on the age old approach for helping Bucky. "Buck, it wasn't you."

"Easy for you to say. You don't have the image of her dying ingrained in your memory." Bucky replied, fingers twitching, itching for something to hit.

"How do you remember?" he asked, trying to circumvent the topic until Bucky was more willing to talk about it.

"Whatever Shuri did to fix my memory, it made it better. I remember everything. All four times." He could barely get the words out. "I- I thought it was a nightmare. I mean, it felt so real, but it didn't make any sense. How could I have killed her if she was standing right in front of me?" he scoffed. "Now I know."

"You wanna know what I said to her the day we met?" Steve questioned, trying to say anything that would get Bucky to stop blaming himself. Bucky merely raised an eyebrow in his direction. "It was the Battle of New York. She came to help, despite no real training. Said we weren't in the position of turning away volunteers. I told her not to die," he scoffed at himself. "Can't help but think she didn't listen. If I had known, I never would have let her-"

"You didn't know. It's not your fault she's just as self-sacrificing as you. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself," Bucky cut in, his fervent need to protect Steve kicking in. The lingering silence let him realize what his own words implied about himself when Steve grinned. "Punk."

"Jerk." Steve's grinned widened. "Don't let this set you back. You've been living with the nightmares for long enough. I know the reality of it all is hard to come to terms with, but you can't let it take over your life. Be grateful."

"For what?" Bucky balked, completely thrown off by Steve's new approach. He sounded more like Sam than himself.

"That she came back," he shrugged. Bucky stared into the distance, thinking over what Steve said. The conversation was not anything like he thought it would be.

"You been talking to Sam?" he finally asked, a small grin on his lips.

"Maybe," Steve smirked.

"He's pretty smart for a birdbrain," Bucky relented. "Where is she?"

Steve walked with Bucky back to the med bay, still trying to talk to him about everything on the way. He wasn't delusional enough to think one conversation would fix everything, but he was hopeful it was enough for Bucky to talk to you. Even just in the brief conversation on the jet, Steve could see the way you helped each other.

“Are you sure she’ll want to see me?” you heard Bucky's voice ask, your eyelids feeling heavy as you tried to look around.

"I'm sure." Steve replied. “The only coherent thing she said was your name and how you saved her.” The memories of your mission and the conversations that followed came hurtling back.

"I didn't save her,” Bucky protested. “I-”

"Yes, you did,” you spoke up, finding your voice after finally being able to open your eyes. You slowly sat up, taking a sip from the cup of water on the table next to you. Bucky stopped talking, merely staring at you. “You saved me when you broke down the door and distracted the aliens, but you also saved me after…”

Steve quietly slipped from the room as you and Bucky stared at each other, a million emotions floating between you. Bucky moved to stand by your bed, stopping just out of reach.

“Y/N , I didn’t-” he shook his head, still denying your claims

“Yes. You did. Bucky,” you took a deep breath, trying to steel your nerves as you thought about what happened. "I was losing control When you broke through the door… any later and I would've been gone... Still alive, but not really there. You saved me.”

"You shot yourself in the head,” he whispered. He was still reliving his own memories, watching you die, but also reliving the times he killed you.

"I had to," you whispered. “I had to die so we could start over, back in the hallway, away from them. When I came back, I panicked. I could... I could still feel it. Whatever they tried to do to me, I could still feel it. The poison burning through my veins.” you shivered. “The only reason I made it out of there is you.”

Silence settled over the room, Bucky seemingly at a loss for words following your speech. You stared at each other, both trying to find anything to say to break the silence. After a few minutes, Bucky dropped your gaze.

He ran a hand through his hair, a deep, fortifying breath rattling through his lungs. "But, I killed you.”

'"No, you didn't." Before even finishing the short sentence, you could tell he was gearing up to argue with you. “Am I still alive?" you glared.

"Technically, but-"

"Yes or no. Am I alive?” you asked again, cutting off whatever argument he was going to start. He hesitated, trying to find a way to get his point across. You merely raised an eyebrow while you waited.

"Yes,” he relented with another deep sigh.

"Then you didn't kill me. Death is final, not temporary.” You knew what his next argument would be before he opened his mouth. "Sure, maybe it hurt, but it's nothing worse than what happened to Nat or Sam or Steve. And, besides it wasn't you. You're not the Winter Soldier. Nothing you did under that persona was your choice. It's not who you are. I know you, James Bucky Barnes. You would never hurt me.”

"How do you know?” he whispered, feeling too many things to put any additional volume behind the words. "How can you be so sure?"

You reached for his hands, gently pulling him closer to you. You waited for him to meet your eye before answering. “Because you’re a good man, Bucky. It's that simple. I could give you a list of reasons a mile long, but it all boils down to you being a good man. You care about people. I mean, you didn't even hesitate when it came to joining the Avengers. You could've been done with this world. You could’ve healed and moved on, but the thought didn't even cross your mind."

You heaved a breath as you finished your speech. You were still looking into his eyes, growing more embarrassed by the minute as he stared back with his mouth agape.

"Um. Yeah, that's why I'm sure. You're a good man and you care about people. Even if you put off a grumpy facade," you mumbled, trying to break the silence. You dipped your eyes, getting ready to pull your hands away when he suddenly squeezed them. You're head snapped up, relief flooding you when you saw his smile.

"'You're incredible, doll,' he whispered, one hand moving to up to hold your cheek. "I'm not good with words, but even I could spend hours listing all the things there is to love about you. You are stronger than anyone I've ever met, going through this completely on your own. You have done so much to help all of us, and we didn't even have a clue as to what was actually happening.”

It was as if there was a magnet pulling you toward each other. You were so captivated by each other, the sounds of the rest of the team piling into the med bay couldn't stop you. Bucky pulled you into a mind blowing kiss, holding you close even after you needed to break apart for air.

"Friday said she was awake!" Tony practically yelled as he pushed through the door. Before he could even see you, he was asking questions. "You've died 23 times? And you never told any of us?” He finally turned the corner, the rest of the team hot on his heels. “Why didn’t - oh.”

Tony froze when he saw you and Bucky holding each other close. Your foreheads were pressed together, cheesy smiles spread across both your faces. The rest of the team froze behind him, everyone wearing matching smirks.

"Let's go Tony. You can quiz Y/N over dinner.” Steve sighed when the billionaire didn't move. "Let's go,” he said again, this time louder. Eventually, he decided to just drag Tony from the room, knowing his barrage of questions would start as soon as the surprise faded.

You giggled when you were once again alone in the room with Bucky, sporadically pressing feather light kisses to his lips. He reciprocated your actions, smiling wider than you've ever seen.

"You're going to be interrogated at dinner, doll.” Bucky smirked.

"Not if we go out to eat," you grinned back.

“Are you asking me out?” he asked, smiling somehow widening.

"Well, good men deserve to be asked out," you replied cheekily.

He looked at you lovingly, a blush spreading across his face. “If you say so.”

Taglist: @averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @strawberryspence @andrwgxrfield @jswessie187 @ellobruv @alohastitch06266

Marvel: @leyannrae @livstilinski @oceaniamaddness @justreadingficsdontmindme @freyathehuntress

Notes: The trigger warning and warnings at the beginning are because technically the reader shoots herself, but she can't die so it's just to escape the situation not to actually die. I didn't want to not include the warnings, because I know it can be difficult to read about even in this scenario.

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randomwriter1021 · 1 year

Text

Stay with me, okay?

pairing⁀➷ august walker x reader

word count⁀➷ 570+ (just a short drabble)

summary⁀➷ you get shot by the men that want Ethan in Paris. What no one knows is that you and Walker have a past together and he would do quite literally anything for you.

warnings⁀➷ use of y/n, spoilers obvs, soft!august (just for the reader), violence (people getting shot including the reader), angst, no mentions of gender or physical appearance, use of nickname (angel)

a/n ⁀➷ tell me if I missed a warning pls! And I’ve got some requests for a part 2 so if you have any wishes that I should add, let me know x

You felt like going on a walk today. Normally you would just stroll around the neighbourhood but today you felt like changing things up a little. You haven't been to this part of town, it was just a feeling that dragged you towards it.

Apparently, this part wasn't as crowded as the other places, which was quite nice. Ever since you moved to Paris, your mind didn't really settle. There was always something going on, not quite as romantic as some would think the city was. So to find a place this quiet, even if it wasn't the most beautiful, you enjoyed it.

As you walked across the street, a large garage was being opened. You glanced at the door out of pure curiosity. But you didn't look away after you'd seen his face. One that was way too familiar to you.

You stopped in your tracks and inhaled sharply. What on earth was he doing in Paris?

But then, why wouldn't he be in Paris. He did god knows what, things you only knew so much about as to not be endangered by it. You shouldn't be surprised.

You still stood there, visible surprise on your face that mirrored the others faces, as you looked back and forth between them.

How you weren’t even wondering why there was a, most probably, kidnapped man about to be sat on the backseat, you didn't quite know yourself. It just fitted the whole situation.

August stood there, slowly letting go of the door, his eyes fixed on yours. But before he could do anything, you heard a gunshot. You didn’t only hear it, you felt it. What on earth? You thought as you dropped onto the pavement. It felt like someone had punched you in the ribs, and you couldn't comprehend that the bullet actually hit you.

„Walker!" you could hear one of the guys at the car yell.

August was raging with anger, how would they dare to harm you, to harm what's his.

The next thing you heard were more shots. You couldn't see much, but what you saw was August, in front of you, and a gun in his hand. He had shot the men, all three of them. They had said something directed at one of the guys August was with, but you couldn't hear it, for you were groaning in pain.

„Y/N!" August called out name. „Y/N, Angel please…" he repeated your name over and over, turning to you.

As he kneeled down, his large hands cupped your face and his fingers lightly brushed your cheek. The angry expression on his face changed and he looked as if his worst nightmare just happened. „August.." you whispered, panting heavily. You were about to pass out and he knew it. „Stay with me, okay?" he whispered.

His voice was raspy. You could just nod in pain.

August slipped his arms under your knees and your neck, as he lifted you up. Still watched by the others in shock of his actions.

His strong hold made you feel safe. The way he carried you but looked at your face every few seconds to make sure you still had your eyes open.

„You're going to be fine, you hear me? I won't let anything happen to you. I won't leave you ever again." The moment you looked into his eyes, filled with worry and sincerity, you knew he would keep his word this time.

༄ Don't copy, translate or republish any of my works on any app or other platform please. I only post my work on Tumblr and Wattpad.

Reposts are always appreciated, they really make my day🧡

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randomwriter1021 · 1 year

Text

Harry Styles talking about his girlfriend for 16 minutes video

Word Count: 1.3k Category: pure fluff Summary: A fan makes a compilation video of Harry talking about you during his LOT shows. A/N: i had tiktok!yn in mind while writing this but you don't need to imagine so! x

There were a lot of things fans looked forward to at Harry’s shows.

The outfits, the performance, the fan projects, these were all parts of what made the fan experience fan even if they weren’t present at the shows.

But it was Harry talking about you that had everyone in a chokehold.

Harry Styles talking about his girlfriend at his concerts for 16 minutes

The 16-minute video started with a clip of Harry from Manchester, blue overalls on a black and white polka-dotted t-shirt.

With his mic in his hand, he pumped his fist in the air as he barked into the mic, thousands of people copying him.

“Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!” He giggled, walking across the stage as his fans barked back at him, “I’ve never done that before. First time. I like it, makes me feel quite manly,” he joked before making the same noise again and pausing, waiting for the fans to copy him, “Ha!” He grinned, opening his hand before giggling and walking across the stage again, his eyes falling on one section before he let out a laugh, closing his eyes as he did.

He adjusted his earpiece, still giggling before bringing the microphone up to his mouth, “My girlfriend is looking me like,” he dramatically shook his head with one hand at his hip, “She’s like, what have I done to myself?” He said, giggling before raising a hand towards your section, “Sorry. I won’t take it back home,” he said before laughing, “She said ‘you better not’.”

The clip then moved to him in Oslo, microphone in his hand as he walked across the stage, pointing at a distance.

“There’s a sign here,” he began, “Can I read your sign?” He asked, getting approval from the shaking and excited fan, “Your sign says ‘I’m only here for Y/N’,” he read, smirking as everyone cheered before he turned back, laughing with the rest of the band before looking back at the fan, “Well, she’s not here tonight, mate!” He exclaimed, “You’re here for me!” He joked, pointing at himself, laughing as everyone cheered, before he raised his hand up, “She’s sadly not here tonight but I know she follows a lot of you on TikTok so I know she’ll see this,” he smiled, “For the rest of the show, you’ll have to put up with me. I’m sorry my girlfriend has a career she’d rather attend to than to watch me bark,” he joked, laughing to himself before coughing into his hand like it wasn’t the most disgusting and unhygienic thing that a person can do; an action that you had told him before gave you “the ick” despite your love for him, to which led to Harry making you explain what an ick was.

The clip then played another, being one from the One Night Only in London show.

“I had never thought I’d say cocaine, side boob, choke her with a seaview, wait,” he held his hand out before reaching out, “with my mother in the audience,” he laughed, the camera moving from him to Anne in the balcony section, waving with a grin, “Y/N almost didn’t come tonight,” Harry said, “Almost,” he brought his pointer and thumb together, squinting as he looked up, the camera then moving again, this time showing Anne with her arm around you as you laughed and shook your head, “I’m sorry!” He exclaimed.

The clip then moved on to show Harry in his yellow and blue suit in Glasgow, pointing at someone in the crowd.

“What’s your name?”

Through the cheer, the fan’s answer wasn’t heard but Harry’s face beamed, lighting up as his eyebrows were raised.

“Y/N?” He repeated, fans cheering more, “That’s a fantastic name!” He perked, giggling to himself before coughing into his elbow, “When’s your birthday? Today. Okay, we got there. It’s today!” He announced, walking back and forth on the stage, “You have an Ibrox stadium full of people, would you like them to sing happy birthday to you?” He asked her, “Okay, she would love that,” he said, “Well, that’s a shame because we’re not gonna do it,” Harry joked, “I’m kidding! We are! We are! My girlfriend would have my head if we didn’t sing happy birthday to someone who shares her name,” he giggled, “I have to make sure,” he stood closer to the edge, “Is it actually Y/N? Okay, it is. Fantastic, fantastic name.”

The clip then moved to his show in Dublin, striped green and white jumpsuit on as a fan was telling him a joke.

“Why does a duck have tail feathers?” He repeated, “Tell me,” he paused before a disappointed expression was on his face, walking away on the stage with his wireless microphone, “To cover its buttquack,” he rolled his eyes before chuckling, “Thank you for that. Appreciate it,” he sarcastically said, walking closer to where you were, looking at you before laughing, “Y/N just told that I can’t do better,” he held his hand out, “She thinks my sense of humor is broken,” he pointed at himself, “Then she shows me absolutely chaotic TikToks with tears on her face from laughing and she’s like, babe, it’s the unhinged behavior,” he mimicked, “You just laughed at a buttquack joke!” He jokingly shouted at you.

The video moved to show another clip from his last MSG garden, Harry in his colorful jumpsuit filmed after his sign was raised in the arena, tearful eyes on the big screen as his gaze moved from the banner and toward where you stood, putting a hand to his heart as he mouthed “Thank you, I love you” to your direction before looking back up at the banner, “Shit!” He exclaimed with a grin, “It’s just blue, you win,” he said, looking back at you, “Sorry everyone, Y/N and I had a bet about the text color,” he said, walking across the stage, “I know better than to win a bit against my girlfriend.”

Another clip then played of Harry at his Cologne show, holding a folded t-shirt in his hands with his microphone, showing it to the audience as he unfolded it, beaming when he saw what was written on it.

‘I emoji Y/N’ was written on the chest area in bold, a printed picture of your smiling face right under it.

The fans cheered as Harry giggled, turning around to show the rest of the band before looking back at the fans, then gazing down at the t-shirt again and raising it above his head, making everyone get louder.

“Thank you,” he said into his mic, bringing the shirt back down and gazing at it before looking at the fan who gave it to him, “I love it and I’m sure I’ll embarrass my girlfriend by wearing it,” he said, “Which is exactly what I love to do.”

The video then moved to the last clip, being one from Harryween with Harry in his Danny Zuko costume, looking up at the big screen before pointing, “Is that what you’re screaming for?” He asked the audience, “Sorry,” he said, looking at Chris Olsen whom Harry had no clue who he was at first, “How are you, sir?” He asked.

The fan-recorded video moved to show Chris with his “DADDY?” sign up, nodding with a grin.

With a casual stride, Harry took his time before he stood, pointing at the sign, “Yes?” He answered to it, the crowd losing it before he repeated, “Yeees?” He answered before chuckling, “I fear that there may be a communication breakdown from this distance,” he joked before pointing somewhere else, “And I have a girlfriend,” he teased, laughing to himself at the wild reaction the fans gave him, “Sorry, sir, I only answer to one person, and she’s right there,” he pointed. The fan recorded the big screen as it showed you, wide eyes and mouth open in shock as you looked at your boyfriend who was too busy giggling at your reaction.

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randomwriter1021 · 1 year

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I just want to dance in the kitchen with the boy I love

Sobbing rn

When is it my turn

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randomwriter1021 · 1 year

Note

There's this video of a couple eating with friends and when the girl bend down under the table to take something she dropped her so put his hand on the corner of the table so she wouldn't hurt herself on her way up without interrupting his conversation with the guy in front of him. Don't know about you but it's 100% flyboy Jake to me

i know which video this is anon! and it is realllllllly cute, also 100% Flyboy Jake!

ft. Phoenix, Halo and Penny + mentions of Fritz, Yale and Harvard because they are all <3

Phoenix and Halo lean against the bar counter, Penny on the other side of the counter, her elbows and forearms resting flat on the counter top; the three women with their eyes fixed on the end of the long table of Naval Aviators where Jake, yourself, Coyote, Fritz. Yale, and Harvard are seated.

“Watch,” Halo mutters, while pressing down on her phone screen, shooting a text off to Fritz who is seated at the end of the table on your right. He gets it, eyes darting down to his phone which is flat on the table, and shifts his elbow, stealthily knocking your small purse off the table.

The three women watch as Fritz gasps an apology, to which you respond with a small smile and shake of your head, before you bend to reach down towards the floor for the purse. Then it happens; they see Jake’s right hand dart out almost instantly, smoothly from your left to cover the corner of the table as you duck beneath, all without a break in the conversation he is holding with Harvard and Yale who are seated across the both of you.

“Well would you look at that,” Phoenix mutters with a brow raised in slight amusement as Penny chuckles with a shake of her head.

“Told you,” Halo says smugly as she pockets her phone.

The three women watch as you dart your head up, placing your purse back flat on the table. They see you accept Fritz’s second apology with a wave and shake of your head, as Jake drops his hand to your thigh momentarily, before shifting his hand over to rest on the back of your chair.

“He’s that way during football as well,” Halo says matter of factly, “he watches her out of the corner of his eye even if they aren’t on the same team, gives her space but is always ready to take anyone out for her.”

“Sucker,” Phoenix snorts, as the three women grin wildly.

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randomwriter1021 · 1 year

Text

bob’s shirt

pairing: Bob Floyd x reader

warnings: none

summary: When you wear Bob’s shirt to The Hard Deck, your secret relationship is found out. Reader’s callsign is Fox.

You and Bob had been secretly dating for four months. You weren’t sure why it was still a secret and neither was Bob, but neither of you was willing to admit to the other that you wanted to tell people. Phoenix knew, because she was tenacious in her interrogations.

“Why are you in such a good mood today?” Phoenix asked.

“I’m normally in a good mood,” Bob said.

“Yeah, but not this good. You keep smiling at nothing.” Bob glanced over at you across the lecture hall. Phoenix followed his eyeline. “Oh my god,” she gasped.

“What?” Bob muttered, his eyes still on you.

“You and Fox finally hooked up, didn’t you?” Phoenix whispered. Bob’s neck snapped to look over at her in shock.

“What? No!” He exclaimed in a whisper. “I mean we have but—we aren’t—Fox and I—” He stuttered. Phoenix let a grin spread across her face.

“It wasn’t just a hookup, was it?” She asked. Bob blushed. He looked at you and then back at Phoenix.

“We’ve been dating for three months. It’s our anniversary,” he admitted. Phoenix smiled at Bob. She had never seen him look so happy. “Don’t tell anyone, please.”

“Secret’s safe with me, Bob,” she assured him.

That’s how you ended up taking two cars to The Hard Deck even though the both of you had left from Bob’s place and intended to return there when the night was done. When you arrived Bob was quick to order your drinks while you went to sit with the others.

“Is that Bob’s shirt, Fox?” Hangman asked with a grin as you sat down at the table nearest the piano. You looked down and realized you were in Bob’s University of Montana shirt. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you struggled to think of a response. Rooster and Fanboy had caught wind of the conversation and were now looking in your direction.

“No,” you lied.

“Really? Didn’t you go to school in California?” Fanboy asked, smirking as he lifted his beer to his lips.

“I don’t know where it’s from,” you said, trying to shut down the conversation.

“I swear I’ve seen Bob in a shirt like that before,” Rooster piped in.

“Maybe he has one like it,” you said. Bob walked up to sit beside you, handing you your drink.

“Bob! Don’t you have a shirt like the one Fox is wearing?” Hangman smirked as he pointed to your shirt. Bob’s eyes met yours and he saw the embarrassment painting your face. The two of you had clearly been found out.

“Erm…I don’t think so,” he said, a blush rising across his cheeks.

“You went to the University of Montana, though, didn’t you?” Rooster pushed.

“Ye—yeah,” Bob stuttered.

“Do you know anyone else who went to the University of Montana, Fox?” Hangman questioned.

“I don’t know. I think I got this at a thrift store,” you lied.

“Why would you pick that out?” Fanboy teased you.

“It was probably cheap,” you tried.

“Everything at thrift stores is cheap,” Hangman pointed out. You were totally flustered and unsure what to say.

“I don’t—It was—I think—”

“We’ve been dating for four months,” Bob interrupted. It was very out of character for him to be so bold, but he had been having trouble watching your nerves build while you were talking to Hangman. Your head snapped to look at him, surprised by his confession.

“Four months?” Coyote asked in shock.

“I told you,” Phoenix said snappily. “You owe me ten bucks.”

“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!” Bob exclaimed.

“It doesn’t matter, Bob. We could all tell,” Fanboy said.

“How?” You asked.

“You hold hands every time you leave base,” Payback said.

“Yeah, but not till we get to the parking lot,” Bob countered.

“Yeah, cause we can’t see in the parking lot,” Fanboy teased.

“I told you that we shouldn’t,” you chided Bob. He shrugged.

“Couldn’t wait any longer,” he said.

“For a stealth pilot, you’re pretty bad at being undercover,” Hangman joked. Bob just smiled. The conversation moved away from you and Bob and everyone was animatedly discussing the base’s latest arrival of students. Bob scooted his chair closer to yours and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his body and kissing your forehead. You smiled and leaned into him. It was nice to feel like the two of you could really be together in front of everyone.

You left The Hard Deck hand in hand. Bob walked you to your car. He stopped you as you arrived at your door.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?” You asked.

“I told everyone about us,” Bob said.

“It was pretty clear that they already knew,” you replied.

“That’s not the same as telling them though,” Bob said. You smiled softly at his thoughtfulness.

“I’m glad they know, Bobby,” you assured him. “We can be together everywhere now.” Bob smiled softly. There was a small pause. You could tell by looking at Bob that something was wrong and you were about to ask him when he blurted out:

“I love you.” The look on Bob’s face when he told you was one of pure admiration. He hadn’t been planning on telling you he loved you, but it had become impossible for him to hold it in any longer.

“I love you too, Robby,” you said with a smile.

“Really?” He asked in disbelief. You chuckled.

“Really. It’s hard not to fall in love with a sweet mid-western boy who kisses you like you’re gonna die,” you said. Bob laughed.

“If you weren’t so pretty, I wouldn’t have to kiss you so much,” he teased.

“Guess it’s a good thing I’m pretty then,” you said. Bob smiled. He grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a sweet kiss, his lips warm against yours. You leaned forward to give him one last peck when you pulled apart.

“Go get in your car. I’ll meet you at home,” you said.

“Home?” Bob asked with a smile. You blushed as you realized your mistake, but you decided not to retreat.

“Yeah. Home.”

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randomwriter1021 · 2 years

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Soldier Boy | The Boys 3x08 “The Instant White-Hot Wild”

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randomwriter1021 · 2 years

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thanks, vogue <3

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

summary: singer/songwriter!reader does a vogue beauty secrets youtube video with a surprise special guest

warnings: language, super fluff, cute seb (that’s a warning of it’s own), i think that’s it

word count: 1860

a/n: this was really just an idea that i had, i’m glad it came out short like this. i planned for it to be a continuation of 3.10, but it can totally be read on it’s own.

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!

m.list here!!

xoxo ray

You were currently double checking everything. Making sure the camera was set up the right way, that the light wasn’t sending a glare on your face, nothing crazy was going on in the background, just going through the checklist of things. Vogue had contacted you after your recent album, wanting you to do a get ready with me video for their Youtube channel. You were thrilled. You had always wanted to do one of these.

You decided to make the video as authentic as possible, so you were now sitting on the floor of your living room. The camera monitor was set up beside your trusty mirror so you could see what the camera saw. The open concept of your apartment was light and airy. Big windows lined the wall in front of you, allowing plenty of natural light to illuminate your kitchen. The contrast between the dark flooring with warm, open face cabinetry and shelving made the whole place feel bigger.

“Okay, let’s do this.” You leaned forward pressing the record button on the camera and just going for it. You waved your hands in front of your face as you spoke your opening line. “Hey, y’all! It’s Y/N Y/L/N here and this is my Vogue Beauty Secrets video.” You sat back, crossing your legs, glancing at the paper that your manager had sent over. “Okay, so I’m showing y’all my everyday makeup routine, if I’m not planning on going to, like, a shoot or being interviewed.” Your voice lilted and dipped with remnants of an accent that wasn’t quite distinguishable.

“So basically, if you see me on the street, this is probably what I’m going to look like.” You grabbed your moisturizer as you continued speaking. “Well, either this, or, like, just so tired.” Your media training was slipping away while you were in the comfort of your own home. “Anyway! I’ve already washed my face with the Cetaphil daily facial cleanser. Honestly, I’ve got super sensitive skin, so that’s what works best for me and I usually get it from, like, Target or Walgreens. Although I will say that I hardly ever run out of it because I have so many just scattered throughout different suitcases and bags.”

You held up your moisturizer, “So I use the Tatcha Water Cream moisturizer, like I said, I’ve got super sensitive skin, however, it’s also super dry.” You unscrewed the lid, scooping some out on your finger. “You’d never be able to tell because I’ve got really great makeup artists that help hide things like that.” You smeared the product onto your skin, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling.

“Okay, so now we do sunscreen.” You plucked the tube from your pile of makeup in front of you. “Sunscreen is so important guys, I cannot stress this enough.” You applied your sunscreen the same way you did your moisturizer. You sat back for a second, thinking of your routine. “I’m not even going to joke, this whole process usually takes me like fifteen minutes. I’ve been doing this exact same routine since high school.” You quirked a brow, shrugging your shoulders as you held up your next item.

“I use the Milk Hydro Grip primer.” You pumped twice on the bottle, applying the primer to your face. “I know that this is usually for like full coverage makeup, but I find that with the humidity and all the weather changes that we go through here, it just makes my makeup stick better.” You heard rustling coming from your bedroom, head snapping to the source. When nothing happened, you shrugged it off, deciding to try and finish this video.

“So, most of my makeup comes from, like, either Target or Ulta. I hardly ever buy high-end or luxury makeup products because I know I’m not going to savor them.” You smiled as you explained your foundation and concealer picks. You were currently applying setting powder to your face when you glanced at your manager’s paper again.

“I’ve got some questions that I’m supposed to answer, so here goes nothing.” You swiped away the excess powder on your face, picking up your contour powder. “I do use powder for my contour, don’t come for me. It’s only if I’m doing my makeup on my own and I’m not planning on doing anything big that day.” You were layering the contour just above the hollows on your cheekbones while you answered one of the questions on your sheet.

“How did you get into music?” You stopped for a second, sitting back fully and dropping your hands to your lap as you thought. “Well, if I’m being honest,” you winked at the camera, “I had a lot of pent up energy that wasn’t being properly used in the profession that I was in, so I just started writing and it turned out they made for a good melody.” You continued your process, spraying your face with some setting spray to melt the makeup together. You introduced the blush you use, applying it to your nose and above your cheekbones.

“What inspires your music writing?” You bit your lip as you dabbed your blush brush on your face. You stopped, scrunching your nose before answering, a habit you’ve only picked up recently. “I only write what I know. So, most of my inspiration is personal experience. Obviously, sometimes it’s based on something like 3.10 is based on Bucky Barnes from the MCU.” You finished applying your blush as you spoke. “But, my least favorite thing that songwriters and singers do, is write out of their own experience. I totally get drawing inspiration, but there’s a difference when it comes to drawing inspiration and making something up completely. I feel that it makes the songwriting and the song itself feel disconnected.”

You checked your reflection in the mirror, making a face at your lack of eyebrows. “Oh my good lord, my brows.” After swiping a spoolie through your brow, you filled in the gaps with an eyebrow pencil. Nodding, you grabbed an eyeshadow palette, dipping into a light brown color with a fluffy eye brush. “Right, so for eyeshadow, like everyday eyeshadow especially, I try to just deepen my crease and then I put the blush that I used that day all over my lid.” You proceeded to do what you said, bobbing your head along with the song stuck in your head.

“Awesome.” You said cheerfully while grabbing your mascara. “The only time I’m ambidextrous is when I’m doing mascara. True story.” You winked at the camera again, hearing the rustling from your room again. You stopped quickly, turning your head to your bedroom door.

Sebastian struts out in his plaid pajama pants and crumpled white t-shirt. You rolled your lips in, preventing a laugh leaving your lips as he traveled to the kitchen. You couldn’t tell if he just hadn’t noticed you and the camera yet, or if he just didn’t care about it. You watched in awe as he poured two cups of coffee before locking eyes with him.

“Good morning, Y/N.” He smirked at your reaction, nodding to the camera. “Hello, Vogue.” He added creamer to the coffee cups before walking over to you from the kitchen. You had turned around to finish your mascara so you didn’t see him coming toward you. He sat down on the couch behind you, placing your coffee cup next to you on the ground. He pecked you on the cheek before settling into the couch cushions, watching as you finished the video.

“Alright, so we’re almost done here. I’ve just got to do highlight and then a lip gloss.” Sebastian sipped on his coffee as you held up two different highlights for him to pick from.

“Do the one on the left, it’s more natural looking.” You smiled at him, pulling the highlighter closer to you.

“I’m glad you picked that one, I was probably going to do it anyway.” Sebastian’s laugh sounded from the sofa behind you. “Oh, help me pick a lip gloss though.�� He gave you a look before choosing and you widened your eyes at him. “I promise I’ll use the one you pick!” Sebastian’s tongue darted out from between his lips as he decided.

“Do this one, with the mauve lip pencil liner.” He held up a nude pink gloss and a mauve liner, proudly. You smiled at him, before leaning toward the mirror to apply the pigments. You popped your lips after replacing the applicator to the tube. You looked back at Sebastian, both hands under your chin, expectantly waiting for his approval.

“Well? What do ya think?” You smiled wide at him. He slid from his spot on the sofa to sit next to you. He leaned towards you, pecking you once on the lips, then licking his own pair.

“I like that one because it tastes like cookies.” He winked at the camera again, making you blush under your makeup. “You look beautiful, draga mea.”

“Thank you, lovey.” Your face has been stuck in a permanent smile ever since Sebastian left your room, but you had to finish this video before you could do anything else. “Well, that’s it for my everyday makeup! I hope you guys enjoyed it. As usual, my DMs are always open, although I don’t think I’ll be much help for makeup tips. Thanks for watching!’ You looked at Seb, who was sitting on the floor next to you. He wasn’t facing the camera though, his gaze was trained on your face, not wavering.

“What? Did I already mess it up?” You grabbed a compact mirror, checking for any imperfections. You stopped when Sebastian laughed lightly, shaking his head.

“No, you just look really beautiful, Y/N.” You bit your bottom lip before pressing a kiss to Sebastian’s. The kiss was sweet with his hands on your neck, his proudly displaying the hickies you gifted him last night. After breaking the kiss, you turned off the camera, sending a text to your manager.

“You know that this is going to confirm our relationship, right?” You turned to Sebastian, who was heading back to the kitchen with his now empty mug. “You okay with that?” You pushed yourself off the ground, grabbing your own cup, sipping on the lukewarm beverage. You stood next to him, placing your mug on the dark countertop, a soft clink sounding through the now silent apartment.

“I think it’s about time.” He caged you in with his body, both arms resting on either side of you. Sebastian leaned forward, pecking you on the nose. “I’m ready to show you off, baby.”

*****

The video came out about a week or two later. It was accompanied by a post on yours and Sebastian’s Instagram’s. The picture was of when you had both attended a baseball game. Caps pulled low over your faces, the back of the jersey’s reading ‘Mr. Stan’ and ‘Mrs. Stan.’ The second picture was of your reflection in a car. Sebastian leaned over your shoulder, happily kissing your cheek as you beamed.

The caption on both your posts was, “thanks, vogue <3”

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randomwriter1021 · 2 years

Text

Tell me a soft memory

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randomwriter1021 · 2 years

Text

the boston brute series masterlist

The Boston Brute

Pairing: NHL!Chris Evans x Athletic Trainer!Reader (female character)

Summary: When you graduated from Northeastern University, you had your sights set on the West Coast. And then you were offered a position with the Boston Bruins Athletic Training Department. And then you met Chris. A 6′3″, ruggedly handsome hockey player dead set on making your life a living hell by pushing every button and getting on every nerve. Despite your obvious disdain for each other and the ‘No Fraternization’ clause in your employee contract, you’re drawn together in a passionate, fiery love affair that seems to burn everything in its wake.

A/N: This series has smut, this is an 18+ blog. Minors, DNI. The drabbles for this series are placed under the corresponding parts :)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All players and scenarios are made up completely. This story does not reflect things that actually happen in the NHL or with its players.

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

Smut = 🔥

I no longer have a taglist! Please head over to @time-for-a-library and turn on notifications!

Part 1 - Mr. Evans (w/c = 7k)

Part 2 - Sweden Sounds Nice (w/c = 8k)

Part 3 - The First Game (w/c = 7.8k)

Part 4 - What Are You Doing In My House? (w/c = 9.1k)

Part 5 - I Should’ve Known (w/c = 8k) 🔥

Part 6 - Don’t Give Up On Me (w/c = 9.8k)

Part 7 - Maleficent (w/c = 7.7k)

Part 8 - Baby Steps (w/c = 7.1k)

Part 9 - Baby Steps Be Damned (w/c = 6.6k) 🔥

Drabble: Texts with Chris and Marlowe While You’re Sick

Part 10 - The Haunted Hollywood Gala (w/c = 12.8k) 🔥

Drabble: Unchained Melody

Drabble: Cut From The Same Cloth

Drabble: She Sounds Like A Bitch

Part 11 - Good Boyfriend Moment (w/c = 6.4k) 🔥

Drabble: Home

Drabble: Promise?

Part 12 - Welcome To Sudbury (w/c = 9.3k)

Part 13 - “Bye, Princess” (w/c = 9.3k)

Part 14 - “Is This Enough For You?” (w/c = 7.2k)

Epilogue - Pt. 1 (w/c = 1.2k)

Epilogue - Pt. 2 (w/c = 1.2k)

Epilogue - Pt. 3 (w/c = 1.3k)

The Boston Brute Character Face Claims

The Boston Brute Series Playlist

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randomwriter1021 · 2 years

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Running (Part 1)

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x fem!reader

Word count: 5.2k

TW: Anxiety, past abuse, stalking, mentions of sex but no actual smut.

Summary: You ran across the country to the place you knew you’d be the safest- with Maverick on a Navy base somewhere in California. Your plan was to lay low until the coast was clear - but then you met Bradley Bradshaw.

Will you be able to escape the man who was determined to find you? Will you be able to keep Bradley safe? To fall in love again?

COMPLETED SERIES! Masterlist <—

Authors note: Holy shit, this has been a fun one to write. Please enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * *

Keep reading

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randomwriter1021 · 2 years

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All too well

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Summary: You're at dinner with your boyfriend and some of his colleagues at a restaurant he chose when you look over the menu and realize there's no vegetarian option, but he's too busy with his friends to realize that. Bradley isn't.

A/N Ignore the text on the gif. It was just perfect for this fic

"Babe, did you say this was formal or more casual?" you yell from the bedroom. Clothes are currently covering the bed as you attempt to find the perfect outfit for tonight. It's the first time he's ever brought you to an event with his colleagues from the Navy, and you want to make sure you look like someone who belongs next to him.

"I sort of like you like this," he murmurs, wrapping his arms around you from behind. You chuckle as you peel off his hands from your exposed stomach.

"You're saying I can go in my underwear?" He seems to consider it for just a moment before he picks up a black turtleneck.

"It's more casual than formal. Wear this. You always look amazing in it." He places a kiss on your cheek before leaving you to get ready. Carefully, you paint your lips red as the final touch before grabbing your bag.

"So, who exactly are we meeting?" You gently scratch his neck with your nails as he drives.

"Just a few of my colleagues from Top Gun. For the first time in a few years, we're all stationed in the same area. I'll introduce you when we get there," he says, keeping his eyes on the road. The rain is pouring down heavy outside, and you find yourself thanking the universe for the inkling you'd had when you left home to bring an umbrella.

"Damn, looks like we're the last to arrive," he mumbles, parking as close to the restaurant as possible. He grabs the umbrella and gets out. You wait for exactly thirty seconds before you realize that he's not coming to open your door. He actually just left you without an umbrella in the pouring rain. You roll down the window slightly to yell after him at the same time as he turns around.

"Could you grab the keys? I think I dropped them on the floor." Rightly so, the keys are on the floor of the car. But you're still without an umbrella, and he hasn't even noticed that you haven't gotten out of the car yet. As they start moving inside, one of them breaks apart from the group and rushes over to the car. Even though you're pissed, you put on a smile as he opens the door.

"Figured you might prefer to stay dry," the stranger laughs except he's not a stranger at all. No, you know that voice very well. Your smile tightens when you look into Bradley Bradshaw's taupe eyes. His jaw drops when he notices who you are.

"Shit," he breathes, but you're not about to let this ruin the night.

"Tonight is a big night for him." He nods - just once. And then he walks you to the door, making sure to cover you with his umbrella. Thankfully, there's an empty seat right next to him, and you hurry over to occupy it. Introductions are made, and you should get an Oscar for how well you pretend to have never ever heard the name Bradley Bradshaw before.

"So, Y/N, what do you pass the time with while this knucklehead is away?" the girl, Phoenix, asks with a kind smile. You're about to answer when he cuts in.

"Knucklehead? Who are you calling a knucklehead, Slippery Joe?" Then he embarks on the story of how Phoenix came to be known as Slippery Joe for dropping several valuable engine pieces and breaking every single one of them. You try to smile as they all joke around because you know how happy he is about tonight. So, you look over the menu and to your horror, you notice there's not a single vegetarian meal on this.

"Babe," you say quietly to get his attention, but he's too busy talking to one of the guys you can't remember the name of. That's when you notice Bradley staring directly at you with a menu in hand. You give him a pointed look.

Keep your mouth shut.

Only if you say something yourself.

Once again, you attempt to discretely get the attention of your boyfriend. You try to intertwine your fingers with his, but he moves his hand and inadvertently claps your hand before dropping it. With burning cheeks, you excuse yourself and head up to the bar.

"Is there any chance you can prepare a vegetarian dish?" you ask one of the waiters who passes by. She gives you a funny look, and you're well aware of the irony of asking that question at a steak house.

"The best we can offer is the salad bar," she apologizes before rushing off to another table. When you turn around, Bradley is standing right there.

"He picked the restaurant, you know." Clenching your jaw to keep from outright crying, you walk past him without even acknowledging him.

"He dropped your hand. What sort of dick does that?" Of course he noticed. Spinning around, you point to his chest.

"Not another word, okay? We happened years ago. You don't get to pretend like you know me or my relationship now," you say in a hushed voice to keep the rest of the table from hearing it. With a heavy heart, you return to your seat where your boyfriend continues to completely ignore your existence.

When the waiter comes over, you keep quiet while everyone else orders. When it finally becomes your turn, you smile and say: "I'm not that hungry, so can I just have the salad bar as my meal?" All the guys start howling and crying about how you can't turn down the meat in this place. You insist that you're not really that hungry even as Bradley looks like he's about to explode.

"If you're worried about the bill, I can cover it," your boyfriend whispers, and you can't believe that he thinks this is about money.

"I can't eat a single thing here. I don't eat meat." You try to keep your tone neutral, but you can't help sounding a little disappointed in him.

"Really, you want to pick a fight right now?" Before you even have a chance to respond, he turns back to his friends and throws himself into the conversation. Dumbstruck by his audacity, you keep quiet as the night goes on. Every time someone tries to bring you in to the conversation, he finds a way to make it all about him. And you really try to tell yourself that these people are his friends and he hasn't seen them in forever, but you can't help the nagging feeling that he'd prefer it if you weren't here. Too engrossed in the role of entertainer, he doesn't even notice when Bradley slides a plate of fries across the table to you.

'Clean' he mouths and then rejoins the conversation. With a grumbling stomach, you pull the fries over and notices that he's used his bread plate to make sure they haven't been touched by the meat juice. Despite your best intentions, you can't help but smile as you dig in. But the joy is short-lasting when your boyfriend finally notices.

"You could've just told me if you wanted fries," he says, giving Bradley a side eye that he politely ignores. But you see the smirk he's trying to hide.

"I think I need some air before dessert," you excuse yourself and walk outside. The rain has finally stopped so you take a deep breath and revel in the smell of wet earth.

"Petrichor."

"What?"

"Petrichor. It's what the smell after rain is called." You don't have to be a mind reader to know he too is remembering mornings spent on the balcony right after heavy rain.

"Right." Wrapping your arms around yourself, you take several deep breaths. Suddenly, a coat is draped across your shoulders.

"I know you get cold," he mumbles looking just about every direction except for yours. For once, you accept his kindness. Together, you enjoy the quietness of the evening as the party continues on inside.

"I know this isn't my place to ask but what the hell are you doing with that guy?" You don't immediately shut him down even though you should. This is dangerous territory.

"He's not normally like this," is your only response. And it's true. He's not normally this bad, but he doesn't always treat you like you deserve. You know. You've had many conversations with him about it.

"So, the Navy, huh? I didn't think you wanted that." You'd known Bradley when you were both young, and he'd sworn he wouldn't follow in his dad's footsteps if only to keep his mother from worrying.

"I didn't know what else to do when you left for college. I needed some sort of structure. The Navy offered me that and then I realized just how badly I wanted to be there." He takes a step towards you, and you're stupid enough to stay put. You and Bradley didn't break up because you stopped loving each other.

"What are you doing with him?" he asks again. This time quietly and... hurt? And you truly don't have an answer for Bradley because in this moment in time, you have no idea.

"Why do you care?" you counter.

"Because I love you. Always have, always will," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. You take several steps back to create some space between you.

"You can't just say stuff like that!" you exclaim.

"Why not? I've flown with him, I've seen him with other women. He is a prick and one of the worst ones." You push past him and lets his coat drop to the floor before entering the restaurant again.

"Hey, I'm not feeling too good. I'll grab a cab home," you whisper and he doesn't even bother to offer to drive you home. He just smiles at you briefly before returning to the conversation. Making a beeline for the parking lot, you try to ignore Bradley. Even as he comes over to stand next to you. And especially as you start shivering from the cold. He doesn't dare offer you his coat this time.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you."

"No, you shouldn't have." A silence much different from before settles on you as you wait for the cab. You rub your arms to try to stay warm but it's impossible. God, why didn't you just bring a coat?

"I can drive you home. It's no problem." You wait at least five more minutes before you begrudgingly walk over to his car. He tries and fails to hide the smirk on his face when he doesn't even have to point it out to you.

"I remember stuff too," you say under your breath as you get in. This has always been his dream car. Even at the age of 16 with absolutely no money or prospects to ever earn enough money to pay for this. The drive back is quiet but you're so acutely aware of how close he is to you, you feel like you're going insane. He looks good. Even you can't deny that. And his cologne... God, his cologne is going to be the reason you lose your last shred of dignity.

"Thanks for the ride," you say once he pulls over outside your apartment.

"No problem." Get out of the car. You tell yourself over and over to get out of the car, but your body seems to have grown roots. Finally, you look over at Bradley only to find that he's already watching you.

"I won't invite you in." Because I might do something I'll regret.

"Okay." Just get out of the damn car... He's too close, and you can't think straight.

"For what it's worth I'd never treat you like that." For just a brief second, you try to convince yourself that you heard wrong, but you know he really just said that.

"I know." He inhales sharply but keeps quiet otherwise - letting you decide how to end the night. Seeing him, hearing his voice, it's all bringing back feelings you've kept buried for so long. You never imagined that you'd see him again but now he's sitting right next to you, and you can't ignore that feeling in your chest. Your heart used to beat for Bradley Bradshaw... it still does. Painfully slow, you reach out to grab his hand. He clutches it tightly in his.

"I've missed you," he whispers, baring his heart to you. Nothing happens that night. You need to end things with your boyfriend, be a decent person. But a week later, Bradley knocks on your door and when you open it, he kisses you instantly. Your hands are in his hair and his... they roam every curve of your body. He groans as you kiss his neck and let your tongue lick that sensitive spot right below his ear.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs.

"Take me to the bedroom, Lieutenant."

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