ranpo-incorrect - Tumblr blog

[ranpo-incorrect]

Okay so- misconception is that I'm seeking followers on tumblr which is not really the case- I just write my quotes here but we're mainly on instagram @ranpo.incorrect, I've gone on hiatus due to mental health issues but yep! I'll be on more in the future!

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Atsushi: Man, I love Mother Nature

Chuuya, covered in sunburns: MOTHER NATURE IS A WHORE.

Dazai: you should've worn sunscreen

Ranpo: *internally suffering* this is too much work-

Kunikida: Mother Nature wants you all to shut the fuck up.

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Kunikida, entering the office: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on here?

Atsushi: uh it's kinda complicated but Dazai-

Kunikida: Got it. Forget I asked

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Akutagawa: it must be so nice to be rich instead of like- developing a personality.

Francis: stfu—

Akutagawa: buy my silence

Francis: y'know what- I will

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Atsushi: I wanna climb into a building, tell headmaster to leave me the fuck alone, dump him in green slime like you see in TV, then jump off, telling Dazai to join me.

Yosano: How high are you???

Atsushi: Idk I'm pretty short

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Kunikida: You look happy– how was your day?

Ranpo: We almost got surprise adopted today!

Kunikida: w h a t

Atsushi: We almost got kidnapped.

Kunikida: Ah okay...

Kunikida: WAIT WHAT-

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Dazai: Life is like Chuuya

Atsushi: Aww cause Chuuya is your life?

Dazai: No cause life is short.

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Dazai, apologizing: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

Kunikida: what was that

Dazai: Remorse Code

Kunikida:

Kunikida: for some reason I'm even more angrier

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Dazai: Atsushi can you spell orange for me.

Atsushi: o-r-a-

Dazai: the fruit not the color

Atsushi: oh right o-r-a-

kunikida: really? really???

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Dazai: but chuuya that's illegal

Chuuya: 👀 ...

Dazai: I'm fucking with you- I'm in

Mori: I'm in as well- I heard the word illegal

Dazai: no

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Ango: what is the worst decision you've ever made while high?

Dazai: no need to brag but, I don't need drugs to make bad decisions.

Odasaku, from the dead: That isn't something to brag about-

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Ranpo: Do you have a bag I can use?

Poe: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes. They are specially designed to carry the burden of existence.

Ranpo: ...

Ranpo: A simple "no" would suffice-

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Q: the the thing is, I'm non-binary

Akutagawa: okay?

Also Akutagawa: but you still have a young boy's body

Q: Right we should get to burying this dead child's body instead of talking about gender

Akutagawa: I'll get the shovels

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Chuuya, being drunk as hell: Dazai is my worst enemy- a fuckin hypocrite—

Ango: sure

Chuuya: but he's also the enemy of my enemy so he's my friend

Ango: I'm sure that's not how it works-

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Poe: did you get the bread?

Ranpo: no I should've kissed him

Dazai: Next time you gotta snatch the sourdough

Kenji: Bag the Baguette

Atsushi: yeet the yeast

Yosano: take the toast

Tanizaki: gain the grain

Fukuzawa(?): Cop the crust

Poe: Grab the gluten

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Anyone who hasn't seen the ADA at work: Oh man the Armed Detective agency must be really professional... I mean what else would you expect?

The actual ADA: *Playing scissors paper stone to decide who goes in for the attack*

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Chuuya: You're annoying like an alarm clock, except the alarm is set to every time!

Dazai: we touch

Chuuya: I get

Dazai: This feeling