raspberryjars - Tumblr blog

[raspberryjars]

the fact that blurryface's voice found its way back into a tøp song that's about worrying they're gonna backslide is tearing me apart

[raspberryjars]

[raspberryjars]

I have 479291927922 failed attempts to write diaries. Some days I just wanna rot in peace so I can’t pick up a pen.

[raspberryjars]

[raspberryjars]

[raspberryjars]

When I say I want long hair this is what I mean

. • ° : • . ° .

[raspberryjars]

[raspberryjars]

looking at brodie townsend and can’t decide if he’s more evan or more barty

bc THIS is barty

but THIS is sooo evan

the duality of men ig

[raspberryjars]

🧸ྀི

[raspberryjars]

I love them. that’s the post.

[raspberryjars]

God okay I started watching Heartbreak High and now I ship Spider and Ant

[raspberryjars]

And no one's gonna talk about how gay Ant and Spider are because.... ??

[raspberryjars]

ant and spider having a situationship-fwb-wedonttalkaboutthis thing for a while and suddenly it stops when spider gets all into the cumlords bs and so ant is kinda confused cause he’s like ???? wtf but doesn’t wanna say anything cause they never actually talked about the stuff they did and it’s not like it really went further than kissing anyways but he’s still allowed to know why??? maybe. not really?

[raspberryjars]

[raspberryjars]

i want to be someone you'd sacrifice yourself for

[raspberryjars]

Change

word count: 707

ship: spencer ‘spider’ white x anthony ‘ant’ vaughn

summary: ant rambles about spider changing lol

He wasn’t sure what had changed. Or when it had. Something had though, changed that is. Maybe it was Spider’s new propaganda, Cumlords, which if he was being completely honest, was a load of fucking bull. He knew that, Dusty would maybe have agreed, maybe, and deep down, Spider probably knew that too, probably. Or probably not, Mr Voss was getting like weirdly into it too, which he thought was pretty fucking creepy.

But yeah. Something had changed and he wasn’t completely sure what, when, how, all that. He didn’t even know it was possible for things to change because, well, they’d been the same for years. Since the summer after year 7. So how could it all change now, like aeons later? It didn’t make sense.

It was probably something to do with Dusty leaving. The like, chemical makeup of their group changing or some shit that would make him sound smart.

Or it could’ve been his meltdown. Maybe after he threatened to chop his dick off and then flashed half the school, Spider had decided that he was too weird to fuck around with. Maybe it was the sight of him all pathetic and crumpled in the nurse's office after.

Maybe.

But it was pissing him the fuck off. For years, and by years, he meant fucking years, years of friendship. They’d been inseparable, SpiderandAnt, AntandSpider. He was the only one who could put up with all Spider’s talk, and Spider was the only one who could put up with all his stupidity. And, even though this wasn’t something they ever, ever, ever spoke of, he was the only one who got to see who Spider actually was.

But something had changed. Spider was changing. Or maybe he was? It was all fucked. He just wanted to go back to hiding under his Star Wars bed sheets in year eight, or even last term.

Last term everything was fucking amazing. It was obviously different, Spider had been a bit weird, for like a week when the map was new but still, but after he’d calmed down things were better than they had been, ever. Like after Amerie’s party.

So he couldn’t think what had changed. Because Spider was changing and not in a good way. He was darker. Meaner. Crueller. More serious?

Like, before everything Spider said was a joke. A shit joke, but still a joke. A joke that he maintained constantly apart from when he was just with Ant and he would either kiss him until it felt better, or he’d maybe even cry about it if they were completely, one million percent alone.

Not anymore. Now, even when they were alone, Spider spewed his stupid bullshit about Cumlords, and sure it wasn’t as against women, and more about protecting Ant and himself from the world, but it was fucking boring.

They didn’t even kiss anymore, or anything else whatsoever. And sure, Spider had always been weird about going further. He could count on one hand the amount of times he’d touched Spider, or Spider had touched himself in front of him. But it still happened. And now it was like, never. Ever.

And obviously, Spider was his best friend, only friend, and if he didn’t want to do all that stuff anymore, that was fine, and they didn’t really need to talk about it ending because they never even talked about it starting it just like, happened sometimes. But he was allowed to wonder why, after the whole of last term, and their years of normalcy.

He was allowed, right?

Because it wasn’t even like anything else with them had changed. They were still attached at the hip. They still got too close at school, as a joke obviously, to the point people screamed at them to stop being gross.

But it was weird. Ever since that balding, overweight, legging-wearing creep had come back. Spider was different. It was like he wasn’t his anymore.

It was fucking stupid and pathetic and childish. Spider didn’t belong to him. If anything he belonged to Spider, Spider was pulling the strings, or, pun intended, spinning the web of their friendship.

But fuck, he just wanted to know what had changed.

He was allowed to, right?

[raspberryjars]

spiders hand on ants neck/shoulder as he drinks from the bag on the light too holyyyy shit (can u tell i’m desperate and delusional)