rattus-dirus

[rattus-dirus]

AND this awesome lutari for @rattus-dirus

[rattus-dirus]

sometimes trying to be more social and talk to people u know are already in an established friend group feels like

[rattus-dirus]

Halfway point of Art Fight! I think this has been my best year yet; at this rate I might actually finish with a positive ratio!

[rattus-dirus]

Art fight attacks for @rattus-dirus and Amphithere.rose on Instagram!

[rattus-dirus]

TAKE HOME YOUR Hosbra, Inc. JASEYTM  DOLL TODAY! FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

Any resemblance to existing drones is purely coincidental. Hosbra, Inc. is not responsible for any injuries sustained from handling JASEYTM. Keep JASEYTM away from small children and animals.

Play Here! What do you mean it still says Josie on the packaging? Do you know how many of these things we're gonna have to recall?

--

Horribly inefficient AF revenge for @sweetchimera-art of Josie

[rattus-dirus]

Art Fight mass attack for @rattus-dirus !

(It's got animation, too!) artfight.net/attack/11138720.reygun-orbital-nuke-2025

[rattus-dirus]

Kinda fucks me up how you can start taking meds and realize how much of your struggle was completely optional the entire time

[rattus-dirus]

Rating all of Hubert's Hot Dogs part 4

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

S tier

Hot Dog with Everything - Topped with everything and the kitchen sink! It’s so delightfully charming I have to give it S tier even though I cannot eat a sink. I wouldn’t eat it but I would buy a vinyl toy of it, you know?

Lunch Hot Dog - While at first it looks to be just a combo meal, there’s actually some unique topping choices here. It has burger fixins (cheese, lettuce and tomato), and it also seems to be a grilled dog, which we haven’t actually seen him do anywhere else. Yum!

Hotdog with Embellish - Multigrain bun, tortilla chips,  julienned vegetables and green onion. Usually when Hubert tries to make a healthy option he botches it really fucking hard but this one actually looks good? Get some salsa and sour cream on that bad boy and you’ve got a fuckin party.

A tier

Mini Baby Hot Dogs - These look fine and they sound good, but the image here is making me absolutely lose it. They look like they’re coming to fucking get me!

Mozzarella Basil Hot Dog - despite the appearance, there IS actually a dog under there, but it’s covered in so much cheese you can’t see it. Amazing.

Nacho Cheese Stuffed Hot Dog - Delicious. The description makes me upset though; “If this is not fattening enough, a deep fried version covered with sour cream will be coming soon.” Where is it, Hubert? I know we saw the deep fried dog, but I didn’t see any sour cream NOR any indication that it was filled with cheese. This came out in 2001.

Hot Dog with Mustard & Relish - Can’t go wrong with the classics.

Ketchup and Mustard Hot Dog - How much more classic can you get?

B tier

Kelp Covered Hot Dog - An interesting concept. Apparently good with onions and tomato sauce, which I would believe. Kelp has a good umami flavor so I could see this being pretty tasty.

Hot Dog with Onions - A classic, but the bun choice here is.. Interesting. It only seems to cover about half the actual dog, and I expect more from a stand that ONLY sells hot dogs (and jacket potatoes).

Linked Hot Dogs - Once separated they’re really just plain hotdogs, but this is a fun way to serve them. Could be cute for parties.

C tier

Ketchup Relish Dog - Almost a classic, but I just don’t vibe with this combo

Lemon And Guacamole Hot Dog - Assuming the lemons are garnish and not actually meant to be eaten, this is just a hot dog with guacamole on it with a bit of lemon juice and that sounds kinda nice.

Lentil And Bean Hot Dog - Credit where it’s due, this is the first vegan hot dog Hubert has presented us with in our hot-dog rating adventure that isn’t just a solid fucking vegetable on a bun. A homemade ‘lentil and cashew nut’ sausage doesn’t sound terribly appetizing to me, but I guess I could be proven wrong.

Negg Hot Dog - This is either a hot dog shaped like a negg or it IS a negg. Frankly I trust neggs growing into hot dogs more than I trust Hubert at this point.

D tier

Hot Dog Sundae Deluxe - This was apparently released a few months after the Hot Dog Sundae down in F tier, which makes the item description kinda funny to me.

“Ice Cream on a hot dog... whatever next?”

The original attempt was so bad that he’s literally trying to pretend this is some original idea he’s literally never tried before. Unfortunately it’s still bad.

Ice Cream Hot Dog - Hubert is so, SO desperate to make ice cream on a hot dog work. And he did! The hot dog split! Unfortunately it took a lot of failed– wait no this one came after. He did this one after hot dog split. Hubert you perfected the concept, why are you still doing this??

King Altador Corn Dog - The description implies that the condiments are inside the corn dog somehow, which I really don’t think would work in any way that I’d enjoy. At least not more than simply dipping it like a normal person. I like that it has King Altador’s face on it, and it probably would’ve been higher anyway if not for the fact that experience leads me to believe that Hubert kinda just sucks ass at making corn dogs. He apparently defrosts them rather than fries them, there’s frequently whole chunks of corn… I just, I really can’t see ANY corn dogs getting a score higher than D from him anymore. Actually, this is the last one we’re going to rate. Hubert can’t be trusted with corn dogs as a concept. He’s bad at it.

Mustard and Tofu Hot Dog - On paper this sounds like a perfectly normal vegetarian option, but the presentation here is absolutely bizarre. It’s not piled high with mustard, the hotdog actually just looks like this

Hubert what did you do to this thing?

Mecha Hot Dog - We rated the mechaberry pretty highly in the tropical food fruit & veg ranking, but that was mostly for its value as a convenient super food. It didn’t really seem to actually taste good, so the choice to turn it into a hot dog is… strange. It’s more prep, it takes longer to eat than one berry would, and presumably it still tastes like metal.

Phallic

Hotdog with Custard - Listen. I know that the end of the dog is supposed to be where the link is. But it looks like foreskin.

Also, the description implies that Hubert, who runs a hot dog stand, misheard someone asking for mustard as ‘custard’ and instead of clarifying simply went ahead and made custard. Have you made custard before? It takes like ten minutes at its easiest. Whoever ordered this sat there for a minimum of 10 minutes watching Hubert put eggs and milk and sugar in a pot and then didn’t speak up at all the entire time.

Megachilli Hot Dog - I don’t like this one.

F tier

Hot Dog Sundae - even the item description is questioning what kind of neopet would find this tasty, and considering what I’ve seen neopets eat I really do have to question what the fuck is in this thing that it’s somehow gross to a species that regularly eats garbage and rocks.

Huberts Special Hot Dog - while apparently quite good, Hubert is very cagey about what’s on and in this hot dog, and unfortunately he’s proven multiple times that he just isn’t trustworthy. I simply do not trust him enough to eat this hot dog. It could be completely fine. It could be the best thing I’ll ever eat. But for all I know it could also be asbestos, and I just don’t want to take that risk with Hubert at the stand.

Last Summers Hot Dog - I throw the box at his face. Granted now that varwolves have made themselves known I guess there is a market for this now.

Maractite Hot Dog - Much like the diamond hot dog, this is not food but a bizarre centerpiece.

Natural Hot Dog - Lots of fiber in there. Granted, it takes some time to chew.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

[rattus-dirus]

Rating all of Hubert's Hot Dogs part 3

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Hot Dog

Hot Dog - Hot Dog

S tier

Hot Dog Split - I personally don’t think this belongs here but my rating partner got very excited about it. 

“It's odd but it's also a fully loaded double hotdog with fixings like pickles and onions based on the art, served with the unique twist of condiment ice creams. I am so fascinated I have to try it.”

I will concede that it is the only one on this part to challenge my thinking on conventional hot dogs in a way that is genuinely interesting AND original and would still probably taste good in a weird way.

A tier

Garlic Butter Hot Dog - Hot dog served on garlic bread. Needs some toppings but like, no notes otherwise.

Honey Coated Hot Dog - It sounds pleasant, and it looks like he’s using a different bun for this also. Honey flat bread maybe?

Grape Jam Hot Dog - Improves on the blueberry jelly hot dog by not coating the entire thing but rather just sensibly topping it. If Spongebob has taught us anything, it’s that jam on a savory sandwich is really good.

B tier

Fried Hot Dog - Pure carnival bullshit food. It’s a lot, but that’s kind of what you want out of faire food when the vibe is ‘fuck it let’s go for it’.

Four Alarm Hot Dog - per my rating partner, ‘four alarm’ brings to mind spicy chilis. Is the dog chilli filled? Does it have chili flavor? Either way, it’s probably pretty good, and not horrendously spicy like some of the other ones.

Franks and Cheesy Pasta - Incredibly nostalgic, but it doesn’t quite hit like it used to. I think box mac n cheese has just gotten worse. Maybe Hubert’s is better.

C tier

Hamburger Dog - Unlike the deluxe burger dog, this one doesn’t seem to have ANY burger fixin’s at all! Extra meat isn’t bad, but it doesn’t have any of the stuff that made the deluxe burger dog hit so well and what we’re left with looks dry and unappetising on its own.

Gravy Hot Dog - Definitively functiona ideal, but not exciting. It also looks messy and the gravy itself is too thin to the point of looking watery.

Gherkin Hot Dog - It beats the cucumber hot dog. If you really like pickles this would probably be good.

Frosted Cake Hot Dog - “Chocolate flavored and topped with sweet frosting.” Chocolate flavored meat?? Potentially a bun made of cake? I hate this thing but it excited my rating partner so… fine, I guess.

D tier

Grondik Root Hot Dog - We actually rated the Grondik root when we were looking at the tropical foods fruit & veggies, and it got a C ranking as a sweet carrot. Hubert has already a made a carrot dog, but this one is a little better executed (it has leafy greens! Which is something. I guess. It’s also more complex flavor-wise) and does have the added bonus of playing off another in universe food. It is, however, still a carrot on a hot dog bun. 

food_asparadog - This one was never technically released but we can glean from the image that this is literally just a very big asparagus on a hot dog bun. Already sucks as a concept, but bigger asparagus also tends to taste worse. Hubert was right to scrap this idea.

Grey Hot Dog - “What was Hubert thinking when he came up with this flavour?”  Nothing good, evidently! Has anyone checked up on him recently?

Damn yeah I don’t think I’m qualified to hear what Hubert was thinking.

Grundo Hot Dog - This is one of those situations where I don’t want to know how the sausage is made but not knowing is making my imagination run a little wild.

Hot Dog Burrito - This one makes me actively angry because a hot dog burrito SOUNDS like an excellent concept, but all he did was wrap a wiener in a tortilla that’s way too big with no other burrito fixin’s! It’s dry and it’s sad and it makes me upset.

Phallic

Guacamole Injected Hot Dog - Listen, I’m REALLY sorry for putting this here and framing it like this, but while guacamole injected hot dogs are a fairly normal concept that would probably earn b or c tier on its own, this… looks….

It looks bad. It looks really really bad. I hate looking at this thing and I cannot give it a real rating because I genuinely cannot move past the visual. I’m sorry everyone.

F tier

Healthy Grass Hot Dog - This is made for an incredibly niche audience, and it isn’t us. Grass is not, in fact, healthy for us. I feel a little unfair putting this here because I bet this is great for kaus, but since we’re looking at it from our own perspective, it kinda has to go here.

Hero Hot Dog - This thing is flying around as I’m trying to eat my lunch and nothing would give me more satisfaction than to rip it out of the sky and take a chunk out of it but I’m also not sure if that would kill it considering it should theoretically be dead ground meat. Is it gonna fight me the whole way down? This might actually kill me.

Hot Dog of Justice - Oh god oh fuck it had a second form. I was not expecting a 2-phase boss fight I LITERALLY just wanna finish my lunch!

Half Eaten Hot Dog - This isn’t literally inedible and it’d taste fine but this IS someone else’s garbage that Hubert is serving me. I throw the box at his face.

Happiness Faerie Dog - Weird sponsor food that tastes like shit.

Ghostly Hot Dog - Hubert hands me an empty cardboard sleeve. “Where’s my hot dog?” I ask, annoyed. “You got the ghost food today! Lucky you!” He replies. I throw the box at his face.

Foil-Wrapped Hot Dog - The concept of this one is that the foil is edible so you don’t have to unwrap it before eating. I have 2 notes.

1. Given how neopia operates I have exactly 0 faith that this is, in fact, edible foil, and not just regular foil that Hubert is saying is edible because he absolutely fucking would

2. Even if it is, it’s still metal. Chewing foil is actively unpleasant and I don’t want to do that.

Frozen Corn Dog - Between this ‘not being defrosted properly’ and the whole corn chunks in others I feel like every other corn dog that Hubert serves is losing points at a rapid pace. Why do they need to be defrosted Hubert? Shouldn’t they be fried?

Worker of the Week 

It’s time for the worker of the week award! I can’t believe we’ve overlooked this weeks winner for so very, very long. We simply could not function without his tireless efforts. So! A round of applause for…

THIS INANIMATE CARBON DOG!

Glowing green hot dog - “This hot dog will give your Neopet that warm fuzzy glow inside.” That’ll be the radiation poisoning, yeah.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

[rattus-dirus]

Ranking All of Hubert's Hot Dogs part 2 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 The hot dogs get more unhinged the further into the itemdex you get, which is fun.

S tier

Curry Hot Dog - Now we’re talking! Fairly original concept (at least I haven’t seen it before) that elevates the traditional hot dog in a way that completely makes sense. Also since so much of this seems to be based on British food and Hubert seems to be absolutely cracked at making special spice mixes for stews I bet the curry absolutely fucks.

Deluxe Burger Dog - All your standard burger fixin’s plus the patty wrapped around a hot dog in a sesame seed bun. It just sounds like a really good time.

Chocolate Hot Dog - Delightful concept, but it does definitely necessitate a heavy sweet tooth and love of chocolate. There’s no sausage here, it’s a finger of milk chocolate on ‘Huberts secret chocolate bun recipe’ which also has extra chocolate chunks in it. It’s kind of a lot and I’d want to share it with someone, but this is an instagram trend worthy dessert.

A tier

Chip Corn Dog - As always, this is the British sense so chips are fried potato. This exists in the real world and plays off of the Korean corn dog (which I think usually is cheese inside?) but this item certainly predates the trend really kicking off in North America (and also Europe I assume).

B tier

Cookie Hot Dog - Much like the chocolate hot dog, this is a really solid dessert concept that would certainly do numbers on social media, but it’s just… so soft. Cookie dough on a bun?? It needs some crunch in there, at least.

Dinner Hot Dog - This looks tasty, but it’s not clear what’s actually in it. Red onion, lettuce and… salisbury steaks? Chicken breast? In either case it looks like a solid sandwich but it’s hard to rate it too high without knowing what’s in it.

Egg Salad Hot Dog - It doesn’t excite me, and I likely wouldn’t order it for myself, but it certainly doesn’t sound bad and it doesn’t need anything else added to the concept for it to work.

C tier

Coconut Hot Dog - Nothing more than a standard beef dog on a standard bun topped with sweet coconut shavings. There’s nothing bad here, and I could see the flavors maybe working, but I feel like there needs to be something to bridge the gap between the sweet and savory flavors. A little spice maybe?

Chocolate Coated Hot Dog & Chocolate Dipped Hot Dog - lumping these two together because they’re really not different in a meaningful way. I would try this as a weird challenge carnival food but I can’t see myself liking it. 

Chocolate Corn Dog - Corn meal batter works better for the concept of a chocolate dip compared to a regular hot dog, but it loses me at the “chunks of corn and vegetables”. If it weren’t for that it could go into B tier but Hubert keeps trying to make me eat my vegetables and I’m not fucking having it.

Flaming Hot Hot Dog - while being on fire would typically make things inedible, that doesn’t seem to stop neopets so I assume it’s fine. This is effectively just a really spicy hot dog.

Darigan Hot Dog - This one almost got put into “inedible” as ‘painful’ is not a quality I like in my food, however if it’s the spikes and wings that give it that quality you could probably just pick them off before eating it. It’s still not ideal, but it’s not unheard of, and the hotdog underneath just sounds like a spicy dog that looks weird.

Extra Slim Hot Dog - Effectively a slim jim on a cheese bun, which sounds fine, even good, but… I hate looking at it.

D tier

Chomby Dog - Unlike the fruit and veg, I wasn’t expecting to put one down here for lack of clarity, but I really can’t tell what this one is meant to be. The spikes are pickles, I have to assume the tail is some kind of bizarre neopian fruit, but it isn’t clear which one. I was thinking sniddberry, but that has absolutely no flavor information and also wouldn’t work if the red is ketchup as opposed to the snidd’s red spots.

Faerie Hot Dog - Lack of clarity. Not sure how being faerie changed the taste of the dog. Is it sweeter? Are the wings on the bun meat??? The only way to know is to eat it I guess.

Dessert Hot Dog - Another here for lack of clarity, but also because no guess I can make about this one is really very exciting? It seems like it’s just cake in the shape of a hot dog, which is fine, but there are better executed dessert dogs on this page that make this one seem kinda lazy at absolute best.

Disco Hot Dog - Pretty patties? ‘You may feel a bit groovy after eating this hot dog’ Hubert did you put drugs in my food? Hubert is a solid chef but given his propensity for putting the remains of people on his dogs, putting drugs in the food does sound like something he would do.

Corn Corndog - It might be fine if you really like corn, but it really just seems like it’d be way more difficult to eat. Also a lot of the appeal of corn on the cob is grilling it with butter and spices and you’re losing all of that with this concept

Corndog in a Hot Dog - Too much bread, there’s not really any toppings you’d put on one but not the other, and also the addition of the stick means you can’t actually eat it like a hot dog so I’m really not sure how you’re meant to approach this one. If you took out the stick it’s just a double fried hot dog, which is.. Fine. I think a better way to approach “both cravings” per the item description would actually be to use a corn bread bun.

Cucumber Hot Dog - This is lazy. You can’t cook it without getting a soft disgusting mess, so this is just.. A raw crunchy cucumber on a bun. He didn’t even bother to make it taste like those cute little fingerling sandwiches you’d get at high tea, which is what I’d expect seeing “cucumber hot dog” on the menu.

Flaming Hot Cordog - “Crispy corn coated in a super spicy flaming hot sauce.” Now at first you might think, oh a crispy corndog in spicy hotsauce sounds great! But that’s not what it says. It says crispy corn, which is entirely different. This has happened enough times that I’m actually not convinced Hubert knows that corndogs are NOT actually supposed to have whole chunks of corn in them. 

Phallic

Creamy Hot Dog - Oh.

Double Hot Dog -

F tier

Cog Hot Dog - Unclear whether this is cog shaped meat or an actual metal cog, but even if it’s the first one this is just a worse hot dog.

Elderly Hot Dog - has hair, feels judgemental

Diamond Hot Dog - This isn’t food, it’s a bizarre centerpiece.

Double Dung Hot Dog - I gagged. I know it’s neopets but like, c’mon man. If there’s ONE thing I could remove from the site culture it’s the literal shit being served as food and used as furniture.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

[rattus-dirus]

Neopets Hot Dog Tier List part 1 My friend and I have decided to rate every single one of Hubert's Hot Dogs. I'm doing this in multiple parts so we can do this without having to link a google doc (again), but I'll link all of them from here.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 Thoughts under the cut

S tier

Breakfast Hot Dog - maybe a bit basic but I really don’t think there’s any way to improve this concept. Sausage is already a breakfast food, and now the entire meal is hand-held. This is par with breakfast burritos as being a delicious concept and convenient breakfast item for the early morning commuter. I’d also like to call back to Bryan David Gilbert’s perfect breakfast sandwich video and say that this I really think would check all those boxes right down to Hubert calling you “boss”. There is no way that this thing doesn’t absolutely fuck.

Chilli And Cheese Hot Dog - I love these. 10/10 no notes

A tier

BBQ Onion Hot Dog - A relatively standard hot dog combo, albeit a less common one that sounds tasty.

Beans with Sausages - this is NOT an A tier flavor to me, even if it is tasty and nostalgic, but I’m putting it here for the world building. You bring your own bowl to Hubert’s, and he fills it with his special beans and sausage mix. This is evidently popular enough to be a recurring menu item that people will go out of their way for, so I’d be curious to try it! Also, if I lived in neopia central, it’d probably be a go too lunch for me if it was feasible to pop over on my break.

Cheese and Mushroom Hot Dog - I personally don’t like mushrooms enough to order this, but my friend was delighted at the concept of a mushroom swiss sandwich on a dog so into A tier it goes. It’s solid conceptually.

Chilli Hot Dog - A step down from the chilli cheese but it’s still just a solid dog.

B tier

Bacon and Cheese Hot Dog - Extremely standard concept. A known combo that works.

Caviar Hot Dog - conceptually it works, and it’s also one of the gourmet foods that feel the most like a gourmet neopets food. I wouldn’t order it, but if someone gave it to me I’d try it and I’m sure I’d like it.

Banana Yogurt Hot Dog - I rated this immediately after Banana Hot Dog and figured it was a banana hot dog with a yogurt topping, but without that context I think this might actually be banana flavored yogurt on a sausage. I think the first option makes more sense but the second one… might work in a bizarre kind of way? It’s the sort of thing you’d eat to squick out your friends and actually end up enjoying.

Blueberry Jelly Hot Dog - Rather than a hot-dog flavored gummy as I initially thought, this is actually a regular hot dog dipped in jelly. Bizarre, but challenging my views on conventional flavors in a way I don’t actually hate. It does lose some points for being extremely inconvenient to eat, especially at hot-dog cart standards.

Banana Hot Dog - Interesting conceptually. I’d maybe substitute the bun for something else, like a tortilla? Croissant perhaps? It could work if it’s a good quality bun but a shitty bun would ruin this. Banana sandwiches aren’t unheard of though.

Bacon Deluxe Hot Dog - Basic bitch hot dog with bacon on it. I guess it’s bigger?

C tier

Asparagus and Butter Hot Dog - Literally described as buttered asparagus on a cheese flavored bun, not addressing the strange mass inside the bun. It doesn’t look like a sausage. Maybe falafel?? Which could work flavor wise, if maybe a bit odd texturally. There’s some bias here because while I like asparagus I don’t tend to like its flavor on other things.

Apple Hot Dog - Effectively a bun with apples on it. Bizarre but harmless sandwich of raw apples on bread. The bread may also be a fruit, which is pretty par for neopets.

Beefy Cheesy Hot Dog - This is… a lot. Even if I did like beef and cheese as much as the meal necessitates, I really don’t think this is “street food” appropriate being served on a plate with two large servings of meat. Then again, I’m not a skeith. It has a market and I guess it’s a tasty enough pairing.

Biscuit Hot Dog - This is just cream filled vanilla cookies on a bun. It doesn’t sound bad but it’s a strange textural combo

Burning Hot Dog - An exceptionally spicy dog. Not conceptually interesting.

Burger Dog - A burger patty wrapped in a hot dog bun. Okay. Sure.

D tier

Candy Cane Hot Dog - This is either a sausage with candycane coating or it’s just a giant hard candy on a bun. The bun is darker, we speculate it might be gingerbread, which is interesting but unable to save the concept because there is no situation where this doesn’t sound either kinda gross or just genuinely unbearable.

Carrot Hot Dog - A carrot on a bun. It doesn’t look like a carrot though, so this is probably carved down and steamed which is… a lot of work for something like this. I don’t come to hot dog stands for vegetables and honestly I think the only people who would order this are insufferable health fad types.

Baby Cabbage Hot Dog - This looks like brussels sprouts on a veggie bun, which sounds incredibly difficult to eat and kind of unrewarding to try. I guess if you really like brussels sprouts?

Batter Corn Dog - Corn dog without the dog. It’s JUST batter. It describes the batter as being the “best part” but that’s a lie and also without the dog it doesn’t seem like it’s going to cook properly all the way through. At it’s best it’s effectively cornbread on a stick, which I guess is good if you like cornbread? There are personal biases here because I’m honestly not the biggest fan. Per my rating partner who does actually like cornbread: it still doesn’t sound great.

Phallic

Big Beefy Hot Dog - It sure is.

F tier (aka inedible tier)

Burnt Hot Dog - a bit of char is fine on a dog but this thing is fully black and somehow the bun is also burnt.

Ant Eaten Hot Dog & Ant Eaten Corn Dog - Same concept for both. Im not really interested in a bug’s leftovers but I guess I’m also not a neopet.

Blue Bomberry Hot Dog - Listen. This is probably tasty, but as we’ve established in the tropical fruit and veggie tier list, bomberries DO just come with the risk of actually blowing you up which is not really a quality I look for in food. It even says it in the item description. I’m not fucking risking that.

Bloody Finger Hot Dog - I was going to make an argument that cannibalism is par for the course in neopets and that it wouldn’t be unsafe for us, as humans, as it’s probably neopets meat but then i looked again and this is a human finger.

Hubert where the fuck did you get this. Is this a faerie? Is this a faerie finger? Hubert??????

Brain Hot Dog - Calf brains are a food item you can get in real life and don’t come with terribly significant risk (mad cow disease is still a factor to consider but I’d like to think that it’s being accounted for), but since we’ve already settled that Hubert is on some demon barber shit I don’t trust that this isn’t just people brain.

I don’t know if prion diseases are a thing neopets need to worry about but it’s something I need to worry about.

Disqualified

Jacket potatoes (all of them) - this is not a hot dog. I theorized that this being in this category is because jacket potatoes are a common street food in Britain, and wouldn’t be out of place to find at a hot dog stand like Hubert’s, so I asked a British acquaintance and she had this to say: "ay, jacket potatoes is correct, and ive certainly seen them sold by food vendors, though typically fish n chip ones. i might be a regional thing but afaik we dont really get many hotdog stands, its more fish n chips, kebabs, and icecream. given that theys sold by chippies hotdog stands also selling them would not surprise me" Right. Okay. Still not a hot dog though, and for the most part pretty normal, so they get disqualified regardless.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4

[rattus-dirus]

Theyre still out there

[rattus-dirus]

I love your mind 🤗😊🥰💓🦜💓

[rattus-dirus]

he is utterly delighted to have received first place in the sanrio character ranking 2025

[rattus-dirus]

An Auspicious Encounter (Based on True Events)

[rattus-dirus]

Batch of neopets AF attacks for Aizui on bsky, @gnuborn, @moonlit-mask, & @cybebully