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if yaoi is so good then why aren't they women

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thinking about samus' radical design changes from the onset of fusion and how they relate to her self-image. the x parasite didnt just steal her armour, it stole her identity too, her chozo power armour was the one connection she had left to the people that made her who she is, and it was infected and cut out like a cyst and then it quite literally haunted her. her default appearence is then one that is stripped away, laid bare, and shes far more vulnerable.

the only thing that could save her was the most destructive legacy of the chozo, the metroids. then over the course of fusion, she learns that the federation has been cloning metroids for weaponisation themselves, the humanity shes so desperate to hold onto is acting no different to the space pirates, looking to control and conquer. everything she thought she was has either been torn from her or corrupted beyond recognition.

and then dread follows up on this so well by introducing raven beak and the mawkin tribe. we always saw the chozo from this idealised lens, a generous and benevolent civilisation that shared their bounties with the universe. but the truth is that was only their best and brightest, the real reason theres chozo ruins on nearly every planet in the galaxy is because they were conquerors. they were colonisers. and samus herself was yet another soldier being indoctrinated into war for the sake of raven beak's ego. just another weapon. just another metroid.

any vestiges of samus' heritage and the legacies she holds onto have had their facades stripped away for what they are, and its up to samus to define herself. she chooses to become a metroid, the ultimate warrior, because she can defy that legacy and scrounge some good from the dirty hands she was dealt. quiet robe inspires her to do this, by holding onto a fraction of his kindness even after assimilation by the x, because that altruism can shine through no matter how dark it gets.

metroid is about growing up in a fascist society and peeling away the layers of obfuscation and deciding what you want to fight for. also youre transgender

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Metroid Fusion (2002)

Metroid Fusion is a 2002 horror-themed action-adventure game developed and published by Nintendo for the Game Boy Advance.

While on a mission to the Metroids’ home planet, bounty hunter Samus Aran is attacked by a deadly parasite. Cured by Metroid DNA, Samus is bestowed with unique new powers from her old adversary, but must face a new enemy: the ‘X’ parasite.

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"hurts because i need to move more" and "hurts because i need to not move it at all" should really be different sensations. i should be able to troubleshoot my own body without just picking one and seeing if that makes it worse.

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i ended up going to dinner

never kill yourself the plans your coworkers made might just fall through and you won’t have to do anything

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never kill yourself the plans your coworkers made might just fall through and you won’t have to do anything

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always love when ocs have cameos from other ocs. its ALWAYS funny. you get to namedrop like you know a celebrity but the celebrity is a guy you made up so they're literally not doing anything whenever you need them to star in your character's personal affairs. like (big smirk on my face) Sorry My D&D Character Was Late, Ladies.... (huge twinkle in my eye) She Was At A Soiree With. Well. A Certain "Gregory Berrycone," (raucous applause)

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Noelle is so obviously dealing with emotional neglect it’s insane

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I find it so awesome that Kris used the soul as a beacon to find Susie during the sound of justice section btw. Toby confirmed back in the fangamer chapter 1 stream that the soul vanishing off screen in Kris' general direction in the lancer vs Susie fight is 100% on purpose, so we know that it always comes back to them between turns even when they're not in the patty. The way they chose to do their special 'close eyes and think about Susie' ability seemingly so they could watch the direction the soul pulled them in is... Really really cool.

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The next time you want to call a sequence “Well animated” do yourself a favour and rewatch it with the sound muted. Often times ir’s only after you remove sound from something that you can truly see if the animation underneath is actually good or not, or if the music/acting is manipulating you.

….but on that same note, “Well animated” does not mean “Fluidly animated”. Because something can be VERY well animated and have few frames if those frames are in the right place, or have a shit ton for frames and be badly animated because it’s over-animated and moves way too much.

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Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

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Mozilla, in its finite wisdom, embedded LLM bots into recent versions of Firefox for the vitally-important purpose of… naming tab groups. Now, some users are noticing CPU and power usage spikes caused by a background process called Inference.

Ugh. Reminder again for Firefox users to visit your about:config page, search for the browser.ml.chat.enabled key, and set that to false:

If yours says true then double-click it until it reads false.

Doing that turns off the AI chatbot features in Firefox, but also the stupid new LLM tab-naming feature that's rolling out.

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thinking about what asgore and toriel must have seen

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yeah yeah we’ve all destroyed and betrayed ourselves for nothing around here you’re not special

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You would have to start the propulsion sequence now. Before the Federation arrives. Samus, this is your last mission. Go to the Operations Room and adjust the station's orbit path to intercept SR388.

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cheebers :>

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one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.