I got so much to say, whether it be on a track or writing a long ass post on tumblr knowing one day the entire world will see my thoughts. And hear them.
Why should I hold myself back, I been loving myself, expressing myself is the next step to evolving. I have this burning desire to be a successful artist. Having this mindset and energy comes with the burden of people who have had dreams and projecting their own fears and failures onto you because they missed their opportunity etc.
I can’t carry your worries. I can’t continue taking your advice, my path, my wisdom, my mentors constantly push me to evolve. They’ve already won at life, why should I take advice from someone who is afraid to achieve their own dreams. I was never the person to stop until my task is done.
Everything I’ve said had manifested and this is proof right here what you’re reading.
In August 2015 I met a VERY successful man and we kept in touch he told me he likes confidence and wouldn’t have talked to me if I wasn’t who I was (s/o to moms and pops for that). He told me a secret about life in 3 words, something that maybe your parents would say. He told me “it’s your choice”.
Imagine, being in my shoes in 2015 broke living at my aunts (love you Val, even tho our philosophies differ you helped me reason my choice to go after my dream more) stressing about how you’re going to eat tomorrow (shout to my cousin J. he is the mf man and we’re on a race to see who’ll get to a million dollars first, I’m gonna win btw) and my cousin J would take me out and put money in my hand to go to job interviews etc. at the time I was with someone who I personally should have left before making my choice to put all my eggs in one basket (it is what it is) Forward thinking though. This is why this post is called choices. I didn’t understand it at the time, I was honestly thinking why would anybody tell me “it’s my choice” of course I know that, but I didn’t understand.
In late August of that same year, I meet this man who I call (D) a mentor and keep in touch with on the regular cause he knows the ins and outs of the game, somethings no man can teach unless he was a divine reason. I decide to make a choice, I saved up my money and you’d be surprised at what your capable of if you choose to put your mind to it and you can manifest anything in a short time if you choose to manifest it at your pace and my pace was FAST, when you want something you’ll get it, like a child that won’t leave the room until they get what they want, that is how you have to approach all things in life that you desire (napoleon hill is my spiritual mentor).
Now we’re in 2016, I’m not that focused on music because my mind tends to go else where but who’s doesn’t. I’m working and I get a phone call from my guy D and he’s like “yo man you gotta get up on ya music man, you got something special”. Something sparks in my brain, it was like a light bulb went off and I decided to give it a chance, he gives me an address to this studio in VA, mind you I’m in bloodclat and it took 6 hours to drive there. We link finally and I’m in the studio with Nottz Raw and Rapper Big Pooh (yeah you read that right) and we do a song called “Untrue” (LOOK IT UP) I swear that night was a blurr, I remember seeing Pooh knock out his verse and we dap each other up and he gone (Picture is on my IG, @realbigcousin) I get in the booth and I rip it down of course (shout to D once again) and after some time we put out this single. I’m #2 on college radio around the country, no promo (just a tad, waddup ray!) just faith. Run the Jewels was number one (waddup killer mike, El-p!). I didn’t put no music out at the time after because at that time I was more focused on trying to preserve something that I should’ve let go when I had the chance but this is where my growth really started. I’m not going to get into personal detail only cause it’s not worth it and it is what it is. Long story short, you gotta look at the character of the person you deal with not their beauty, instagram pics, sex, etc. that’s the real reason why I didn’t put any music out at the time. Fast forward I’m back at my aunts broke again and I’m at the end of my cycle and I enter a new chapter of my life.
The point of me saying all this is that “it’s your choice” literally. These little things that float around that you don’t acknowledge or notice because we’re too focused on the big things like intricacies when the base of that is simplicity.
It’s now 2018 and I’m working on a project (s/0 Stalley, Evidence, Shateish, Nottz, jansport J, Eric G, Khrysis, Bewill, Jamal, Lloyd and D of course) and it’s sounding like a classic. I can’t wait till I show you guys what I have in the stash until then, be patient And thank you for reading this. Anything helps to reach people who want to hear good music, you reading this is you being apart of my journey regardless if you’re just busy scrolling, sharing, word of mouth, a hater or a shmuck you’re now getting a glimpse of my story and many more to come. Can’t wait to look back on this and be proud.