Last Seen Blogs
jrewingfan
Untitled
portraitxan
Portrait xan (blog)
oneplateplease
One Plate Please
mersinevlilikteklifi
Mersin Evlilik Teklifi
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I turned on the lights to see this waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs
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a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
text your landlord
remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
back up
ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
the door swings open
run up the stairs
open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
write tumblr post
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Transphobia/homophobia:
Has gotten people killed
Has gotten people abused
Has gotten people kicked out of their house
Has gotten people raped
Cisphobia/heterophobia:
Has hurt a feeling or two on the internet
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Largo Al Factotum, directed by Dougal Wilson, starring Mathew Baynton.
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Pls ru make all stars 5 with all robbed queens and it's just footage of you mugging them
Oh that’s just all stars one henny
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summary of my political views
There should not be funko pops of dead people. if someone dies, burn the funko pop
if a doctor removes something out of your body you should be able to take it home with you
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i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you
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The Wrong Mans: Inside Mans
- (Mathew Baynton, James Corden, Jim Field Smith)
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Ru only one white queen left? What will you do?! Are you gonna crown a black queen?!!
Oh god no I’ll just bring farrah back or smthn
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heyyy janelle monae and other lgbt women were also nominated for that queer anthem contest if you're upset about Ariana's nomination u should propably vote for them
^^^^
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