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[realdollbaby]

“Seventeen things I learned this year: 1. Relapse happens. Bad days come back. The voice you thought went away revisits. You can find yourself back in the places you swore you’d never go again. It’s dark and cold and full of shame but god you know it even better than the taste of coffee at 3 a.m. the night before a deadline. Tears fall and so does your stomach when you realize just what you’re capable of doing to yourself. 2. Get angry. Yell and kick and scream and open up a portal to the underworld. Don’t let them get away with thinking they can push you around. You’re not weak, you’re not vulnerable. You are hell on earth and you sure as shit can show them what it’ll taste like in sixty years. 3. You are not here to be forgotten. You are here to be remembered. Carve your name into the bones of everyone you love. You are here to be remembered: maybe not by everyone but definitely by someone. You do not die when your heart stops beating or your mind stops working. You die when you are forgotten. You die when your memory fades. Don’t let it. 4. People will walk out of your life without any reason. Do not get on your knees and beg for an explanation. If they can leave so easily, everything they did while they were still around didn’t mean shit. 5. People change. Not always for the better. Not always for the worse. It’s never simple and never easy but that doesn’t make it hurt less each time. People change and you will lose them and it will sting worse than alcohol on a cut. 6. You change, too. Every moment is a learning experience. You are not the same person you were six years ago, six months ago, six minutes ago. You will never be that same person. Hopefully you are better. And if, on the off chance, you aren’t ask yourself why. 7. Dance like no one is watching. There is nothing better than moving to the music and it’ll lift your spirits. 8. Nothing is ever perfect. Maybe for a little while you will forget what’s wrong and feel like a bird let out of its cage. Cherish those moments. Remember them. Those moments are what we live for. Eventually, they appear more often. 9. Pick up on the little details. They’re important. They speak volumes about a person. You can learn a lot from something little. 10. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Find yours. Strengthen it — break it apart and rebuild it if you have to. Find others’ if they trust you with it. It’s a fragile thing. Be delicate. Be kind. Be considerate. We all have a weakest link. Not all are as noticeable. Not all are as weak. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist. 11. Your heart can take more pain than you thought it could. You are stronger than you expected and, if nothing else, take pride in that fact alone. 12. A lot can happen in a year. A lot can change. Everything you do has its impact. Make sure it’s worth it. Make sure it’s what you want. 13. There will be people you can never please. You are not here to please them. You are here to flaunt your confidence and call them out when they try to bring you down. This world is full of negativity but it cannot touch you if you don’t let it. You don’t live for those people. You live for you. 14. Nothing is ever is simple as it seems. No one is ever as simple as they seem. Be kind before you learn their story. Be patient while you are learning it. There is a reason behind every action, don’t be so quick to assume you know what it is. 15. Manage your time. Sometimes it will be Sunday and you’ll cry just looking at the work you have left to do. Don’t let it come to that. Life is about balance. Good and bad, work and play. Make sure you know your priorities and live the life you want to live. 16. Things break. Glass bottles, coffee makers, nails, limbs, hearts, minds, people. Be delicate with everything and everyone you come into contact with. We all have our stories. We all have our weaknesses. Everything can break if you’re hitting it with the right ammo. Be careful which weapon you use. 17. Know when to bite your tongue. Know went to speak freely. There are times for both and it is up to you to make the right decision. Live without regrets or there would be no point in living at all.”

— Every year, day, moment is a chance at a new beginning. Take advantage. Carpe diem. // k.c.w.  (via exoticwild)

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

[realdollbaby]

With how much I’m stressed about money I really need to find some🙏🏾

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

If you could be A character in any OF your favorite TV shows which show would it be

Person of Interest.!

[realdollbaby]

Dream vacation

Bali or Dubai 💕💕

[realdollbaby]

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]

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[realdollbaby]

[realdollbaby]