realentjbutitmightchangetbh

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Not even ashamed to say i just googled "how to woo enfj male"

Though i may be deleting the search from my history

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Watch "Malcolm Tucker passing the torch but it's just Ollie's stunned silence for 40 seconds *censored*" on YouTube

Another one of mine, do enjoy

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

This is me. I am scary russian woman. Do watch if you are a bbc fan

Watch "Best BBC Boys" on YouTube

Please watch this nerdy edit i made. It took over 5 hours.

Im studying film so hopefully the editing is actually decent

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Do you ever see a woman with her baby and she just looks so happy and loving and you get this little dull pain in your chest like wow i wish my mum loved me

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Accouncement: i mistyped. I am an INTJ. My reasons for having mistyped:

- i love people and their company, so i assumed E.

- ive been raised by a psychopath, and only moved out two months ago, so it was hard to know what "healthy" me was like

- i assumed my extreme emotional reactions and moods was a type thing, as apposed to an abuse thing

- intjs have a reputation as being cold bustards, and i am not that

I dont suppose anyone would really care, but anyway

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

I wish i knew who this anonymous was, because i went through something like this just last month. I thought i had an infj friend, but after telling him i liked him, and him rejecting me, my response was so concerning i had to review the situation.

When he rejected me, i felt suicidal, and like i had just lost my only friend. I couldn't understand what i was feeling, because usually Id simply shift my perception, adapt and move on, or make a game plan to get him interested in me. But it wasnt working this time. With the help of my @confusedinfj, we realised my friend was not an infj, but was actually a skilled though stupid psychopath who had simply acted what i wanted in order to get close.

Something about him had felt off the whole time and i couldnt articulate anything i was feeling until he rejected me (out of character for him, and unlikely for any boy around me really- dont think im being arrogant when i say that). I realised i hadnt even been interested in him (out of character for me, given i find everyone interesting). All of his odd behaviour suddenly made sense, and i also realised how abusive it had been.

This friend of the entj's does not sound like an infj. This friend doesnt sound like a friend at all. Im concerned this friend might also be a psychopath, which wouldnt be unusual given how perceptive, intelligent, and gracious this entj sounds. If there's a dynamic in a relationship wherein you feel you have to keep opening up and giving and giving, when the other person isnt really responding and you have to go to extremes just to get them to give back a little, something is wrong. If someone cares about you, they'll make an effort, and it doesnt sound like this friend is doing that. If youre feeling dazed and confused, and even suicidal, perhaps review his behaviour. Obviously he doesnt HAVE to be a psychopath, but in case he is, just try figure out what your gut is saying.

Also, this mbti notes person's advice is extremely unhelpful and phrased in a condescending manner. There's a way to give advice without using accusatory language like "why are you so obsessed with this one?". The fact that it looks like obsession and this entj's approach doesnt appear to make sense for their personality should be an indication that something is WRONG. These kinds of relationships (if it IS a psychopath/empath relationship) are extremely confusing and damaging, and a pseudopersonality is often developed.

Only take this if it resonates, if you feel this friend is truly decent and good, you have to trust that. I wish i knew who this entj was so we could talk.

Hi mbti-notes. ENTJ here. I recently confessed (I said "I like you" and told him I really appreciate him as a person) to an INFJ friend and he rejected me so now I'm really bummed out. I sometimes feel suicidal because I'm really lonely and he was my one close friend. After confessing to him I realize I don't even want a relationship with him I just want to deepen the emotional connection we have and tell him that I think he is a cool person, but he clammed up and didn't really say anything afterwards. I don't want to keep making empty jokes when we hang out together and I want to talk about deeper things than that and be real friends. I feel like I want a level of emotional availability that he doesn't have, but I know he cares about me. At this point, I don't even know if I like him romantically or if I'm even interested in men at all but I do have a need to be open to my friend and have my friend be open to me. Help?

1) I’m afraid that none of that really makes sense for ENTJ. It’s not how they would normally approach or handle such a situation. If I have reason to suspect that a person is mistyped, I won’t give type related suggestions until the situation is clarified to my satisfaction.

2) Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Doing so dramatically increases the risk of failure. Loneliness is remedied with a social support network that you feel a sense of belonging to, contribute to, and draw strength from. You should have more than one friend so as to avoid burdening and overwhelming people. It is unreasonable to expect one person to fulfill all of your needs and desires. It is even considered inappropriate to expect that from a friendship. You have blurred the boundary between friendship and romance due to your clouded feelings and vague communications, and that makes it exceedingly difficult for others to know how to approach you. When others don’t know how to approach you, distance is often the easiest or default strategy.

3) Don’t bark up the wrong tree. It’s unproductive. Do you really want to reduce yourself to begging and pleading for attention? There are many opportunities for connection in this world, millions of people out there. Why are you so obsessed with this one, to the point that you can’t or won’t branch out? When it becomes obvious that a person isn’t available in the way that you had hoped for, move along. Why keep wasting time and energy on it? 

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Entp: no justice no peace? More like no justice no peace- wait, no i meant no pea- no SLEEP, idk i can't talk

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Hi :D hope your day’s going well. I wanted to ask if you’ve seen differences in male vs female ENTJs. I always hear that there’s a difference for all types

If im honest, i cant think of many differences, not even in career path. We tend to choose health, arts, or maybe politics but i think there's an even amount of males and females (allowing for the difference in commonality).

The males are just as emotional as the females from what I've seen. We're all hyped up, eccentric, ambitious, and way too sensitive. All blunt too.

I personally haven't observed many differences. I guess the only difference might be the rate at which the sexes develop their personality and character. Females are generally 10 years ahead, for whatever reason.

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Hey, fellow ENTJ here and I'm presently dating an Infp. I found your blog recently and I've really been enjoying it. But as an ENTJ I say the following. Go and self-care. I give you permission to take five minutes to just do something for you!

Hahaha do I come off that mentally unstable??

I mean you're not wrong...

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

hello i am an infj !! if u still need help figuring out if ur infj likes you id be willing to help !!! im nb if that matters :)

Haha ive had quite a few infjs offer to help, it's so nice :)

I'd like to know more about how infjs flirt... coz there's flirting, and then there's flirting when they're actually interested...

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Hi! Recently came across your blog and I love it! I’m a fem INFJ and I love ENTJs but I just wanted to ask something. I’m aware that everyone says that ENTJs are super dominant and whatever (not necessarily in a bad way) and I’d like to know your personal experience regarding that? Thank you :)

Hahaha i get that a lot.

It's true in some cases, though idk if id say we're SUPER dominant. In my family, i tend to APPEAR to lead, but i feel like my infj sister is more of the leader, im just more vocal. Maybe that's what it is. Entjs are vocal, will voice what others have been saying, but what people dont notice is that we're just one component of a group.

At uni i didnt dominate any group except small practice groups, but thats only coz people thought i knew what i was doing. Personally, i never want to be in charge coz people blame you for stuff. Ive always just operated as a sort of second in command, making sure im close with the leader of a group so i can have my voice heard without having to upset anyone.

Actually i think i see what people mean, that example sounds pretty psychotic ahahah

In relationships though? Again, it can appear that we're domineering or whatever, but i just dont like letting other people see me vulnerable. Most people are suprised when they realise im super emotional.

So yeah idk if this answers you question, but i guess id sum it up by saying that entjs tend to appear dominant when really they're just the voice or they're covering up

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

if an entj mentions her anxiety issues ie panic attacks, paralysis, nightmares, (like not going deep into it, but just telling me out of the blue) is that a sign that she trusts me? and how can I support her? (your replies are insanely helpful, thank you!)

Yes. Entjs tend to struggle with telling people anything that could make them look weak. Obviously anxiety doesn't mean you're weak, but it can feel that way sometimes.

Telling you out of the blue probably means she's preparing to go in to it one day, like creating some sort of safety net.

You can support her by just checking up on her every now and then, or being on the look out for potential triggers.

May sound dumb, but the first time i met my infj, he noticed an anxiety tick i have, and idk it just made me feel safe.

I aint tired of answering these :)

Out of curiosity, how old are y'all?

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Any male infjs out there? I need help figuring out if my infj likes me or not. Females can help me out too <3

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

more examples of how entjs flirt please? I think my entj likes me but I wanna be sure :)

There's flirting and then there's crushing.

Flirting:

- Will use words like hot, sexy, stuff like that even if not directed at you... it's just to make you think about it

- could be a little mean to flirt, but if they thought they were hurting you would back down

- recommend songs and shows

Gotta be honest, im a little gaurded with infjs coz im scared ill scare them away. Signs that theyre crushing on you will be different to flirting.

Signs they might be crushing on you:

- may be awkward. When my infj spoke to me unexpectedly, i literally couldn't form a sentence

- will talk to you a lot, which might make them feel anxious that they're being clingy, but if they still talk to you a lot, they're risking it all for you hahah

- invite you to stuff, be it online games, small gatherings, etc.

- will share their ideas with you, future plans, etc

- share their feelings. This one is a sign of trust.

- you catch them staring

- maybe they avoid you sometimes, you might think theyre even cold

Feel free to ask for more, but honestly im looking for an infj to tell me how YOU guys flirt. Ive got an infj and im scared he doesnt like me but i think it's the truama speaking, i need your help im losing my mind

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

ok but how do entjs flirt

Lots of eye contact, raised eyebrows, compliments, teasing, a bit of touching, opening up emotionally if serious flirting, dancing around...

At least for me, entjs tend to save their real flirting. They're plaful with most people, but really FLIRTING?? We're pretty direct. We're REALLY direct actually, and if we're that direct it's probably because we feel safe to be so.

Real flirting would be... calling their person cute, sexy, georgous, etc., leaning on walls, moving slowly towards someone while smirking and keeping eye contact, touching whenever they can or is appropriate, planning their future with that person, really obvious stuff.

If you need more examples let me know :)

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

hey I’m an infj attempting to woo an entj - any tips? (love your blog btw! ❤️)

Oooooh verrry interessstinng <3

I'll talk about the infj im crushing on.

Actually if im thinking about it, you just gotta show you like them.

My infj was pretty gaurded when i knew him at uni, but hed occasionally be really open and flirty which confused me. I assumed he hated me, so i got too scared to talk to him. You dont have to reveal every one of your secrets, but its helpful to actually talk. Dont be afriad to be a cringy nerd with your entj. Talk about your weird obsessions, find common ground. Being able to find something youre both passionate about is a major selling point.

Basically just be yourself. It didn't take much for me to go crazy about my infj. Liked him as soon as a saw him, class clown in front of everyone else, but i was sold on him when hed feel comfortable enough to be sad around me, as if he trusted me.

You might not have to woo, entjs do a lot of daydreaming. Your entj is probably wondering how to get you to ask them out, or whether they should do it themselves...

Trust your gut

[realentjbutitmightchangetbh]

Im concerned that these answers are non specific and can be accurate no matter what

Types reacting to someone cry

INFP: hey I don’t wanna see any more tears, you’ll get through this *hug*

ENFP: ice cream.

ISFP: just gets kind of awkward

ESFP: could possible mock you unless they relate to your problem, then they’ll give you advice and speak in a baby voice to you

ISTP: buys u something

ESTP: depending on their mood will help u out or make fun of u

INTP: will listen if you’re a close friend and will give you helpful advice but if in a bad mood will ignore u or call u dramatic

ENTP: You look sad. dont be sad

INTJ: *gasp* why aRe yOu cRYiNg?? Have some chocolate

ENTJ: *starts to tear up just coz you’re crying*

INFJ: will stay silent until they know exactly what to say, but has different responses for each individual, tailored to their needs

ENFJ: vibes that you’re sad, somehow knows why you’re sad, and will make you happy with an empathetic eye stare thingy

ISFJ: *awkward physical affection*

ESFJ: boo u perfect, no more tears

ISTJ: lol who should I kill

ESTJ: here’s what u should do