reallifeyn - Tumblr blog

[reallifeyn]

so if u needed another flower in your garden or a bandage for your wound, ill be here...

u, gardening:

Me, popping out of the bush behind u: howdy buddy

u, getting hurt:

Me, pulling out an entire hospital’s worth of bandaids from my backpack, brushing off my clothes as i pull myself out of the pothole: u called?

...literally.

[reallifeyn]

The octopus, squeezing me by the throat: say your sorries now or remain forever nameless, you bastard

Me, aggressively snacking on my octopus crackers: YOU TRY TO SILENCE ME BUT YOU ARE ONLY RELEASING THE FLOOD THAT WILL DROWN YOU AND ALL YOUR WRETCHED KIN IN THIS GODDAMNED CITY. THE ONLY THING GETTING BURIED TONIGHT IS THE TEETH PLUNGED INTO YOUR FUCKING THROAT

The octopus, pulling out knife: then hasta la vista you later mother-sucker

[reallifeyn]

im crying,,, my sister told me that at school, she tried to explain to this kid what shipping was and the boy just started nervously sweating and blurted out "i've watched titanic before" and my sister broke down and started laughing

lol iM DYING