recurrentmisscarriagemama-blog

[recurrentmisscarriagemama-blog]

my recurrent miscarriage journey - a fresh new tww, and maybe hopeful?

im sat here in my 4th tww (two week wait) since my last miscarriage. since my last miscarriage, ive had the all clear from the doctors and specialists. posting this blog in case its of any comfort to anyone else out there in my situation.

3 miscarriages in total - no babies, it sucks, it really sucks. i want nothing more than to be able to do what most other women get to do so naively. I have cried and cried, and researched and supplemented vitamins non stop looking for the magic cure. but recurrent miscarriage is so rarely spoken about and so rarely acknowledged  it is such a lonley place to be. my husband trys but he also doesnt understand the magnitude for the situation, my biological clock is ticking, its been over a year, i lost all my babies at 6 weeks or earlier ( its funny because  many people wouldnt even acknowledge a loss before 6 weeks as anything to worry about) the reality is ive had snatched away from me the joy of seeing a positive test, the joy of thinking about the future. all i think when i see a positive is, will you stick? what will happen tomorrow etc.  

i know im not the only person in the world to suffer from recurrent miscarriages but the fury and frustration at trying to conceieve after miscarriage is real. there is no support, people just do not understand and they hit you with toxic positivity ie. “stop trying blah blah” - this grates on me so much, how am i supposed to stop trying exactly ? go back on contraception ? when you know what i know about trying to conceive and how your body works it is impossible to not watch for your cervical mucus, to not watch out for signs of ovulation. or even worse pregnancy signs in the two week wait. 

the stress of losing the babies, and the heartache i face every single day, the triggers of social media, the constant baby announcements, pregnancy announcements its a hard pill to swallow.

But that being said, im 4 days post ovulation today, hubby and i really baby danced in our fertile window this cycle, so im hoping for that bfp! And once i get it maybe the bad luck will stop. Although im feeling abit crampy and have only just started bbt tracking so will see how that pans out!

Hoping for a positive and keeping the faith - this will happen for us  xxx

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