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i think i'll watch gay porn tonight and touch my personal penis. every day is a gift you can give to youreself....

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call her ai the way she makes me generate slop

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one william dollars isnt even that much money anymore due to the flation

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I P address? baby it’s called the bathroom 😂

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Alignment of Navigators.

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shen jiu deserves having qi-ge whimping while having sex

I'm a full believer that sj has dacryphilia (aroused by tears or sobbing)

Like, he's the only one yqy feels vulnerable enough to start whining

but i mean big fat tears roll over that man's handsome face

crying for his xiao jiu

to yearn for him and not being able to cus of guilt

Yue Qi needs to cry more during sex

Strongly agree, but Yue Qi is also so fucked in the head that he would only be able to do this after years of marriage and therapy. He couldn’t even cry on the streets as a child, I have no idea how it would take to get this man to realize that he will not immediately be killed or called selfish for showing “negative emotions”. Tbh I think the first time Yue Qi would ever cry in front of Shen Jiu is when they finally reconcile.

Yue Qi is explaining himself, sobbing, this is the second worst day of his life and Xiao Jiu will hate him for real after this.

Meanwhile Shen Jiu is completely bricked up, hearing that he wasn’t abandoned, that he was always loved, watching Yue Qi cry and grovel at his feet. If he weren’t so into Qi-ge on his hands and knees, he’d be trying to climb that man like a tree.

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Can we sacrifice non human fetuses??

No, it has to be human fetuses. Reading the original parable, Shen Jiu and Yue Qi got each other pregnant over and over consensually for the purpose of abortion. Animals are unable to consent, and it would be cruel to force such a thing upon them. The fetuses must be human and freely given.

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I also decided to participate in the trend

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I feel like I should be able to put topping on my resume. In this economy? Maybe the only in demand marketable skill I have.

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[speaking like we’re all at a slumber party together]

Do you think that if Shen Yuan had transmigrated into the protagonist’s role he would have found a way to give the body back to Binghe because he felt it was just too much of a pity to simply do away with the original?

Unbeknownst to him, Binghe’s there. Watching. Growing alongside his possessed body.

Shen Yuan does the Abyss Arc himself. It wouldn’t do to awaken the poor boy’s spirit just to throw him to the wolves! And, okay, he can maybe fix some plot holes, unveil some secrets, deal with rat bastard authors, and take over the demon realm before returning the body. He’s leaving the harem gathering for Binghe, though! And, he stores away every treasure!

He’s not so presumptuous as to steal the joys of demonic lordship from the protagonist. He can do the hard part, and then give Binghe his body back to enjoy the fruits of Shen Yuan’s labour!

If he makes this sacrifice, surely the protagonist would let him live despite his transgressions?

He finds a body for himself, returns the goods, and all concludes peacefully and with as little bloodshed as possible. (It’s still a lot. Alas.)

And then his plan would hit the predictable snag of Luo Binghe misunderstanding the whole thing, leaving him with only the notion that a gentle, pretty, protective and other adjectives god-alien spirit had basically died of rage on his behalf and shouldered all of Binghe’s difficulties in order to spare him countless agonies and troubles.

How does one go about repaying that? Is marriage even enough?! Was this a form of courting?! How is this even supposed to work!

Also Shen Yuan believes putting off wife-gathering for a later date doesn’t affect the harem in any way. When Binghe’s back, he’ll do his protagonist best and get them back. Those who can’t even wait a few years, do they even deserve to have Luo Binghe’s regard?

(Luo Binghe is clawing at the walls with how Shen Yuan misses the implications of that statement. Meng Mo has developed spirit instabilty out of rage. Shang Qinghua is not helping.)

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This is an important message that needs to get out to Markiplier!

There is a gang war in LA. The first gang to get to 100 kills, gets to take over that part of the city. You NEED to be careful, Mark. You could be at high risk because of your high status. PLEASE be safe, everyone in or around LA, and please reblog this to get it to the youtubers in LA.

I just worry about their safety.

markiplier stay safe! <3

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Reposted from @mew_mew_aihito, with permission.

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"... You're what??"

(EDIT: Muting notifications on this!)

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A devoted worshipper has created a beautiful offering. Thank you AnonymousK

Your harvests shall be blessed by Yue Qingyuan’s fertile breast milk

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consider the following (modern AU) scenario:

nie mingjue and nie huaisang's parents pass away early, so nie mingjue essentially raises nie huaisang. their age gap is such that nie mingjue is in high school when nie huaisang is in elementary school.

during high school, nie mingjue befriends two people: lan xichen and meng yao. now, meng yao's mother works as a prostitute, so meng yao catches a lot of shit at school. lan xichen and nie mingjue do their best to defend meng yao, but there are limits to what they can feasibly achieve.

one day, a random classmate who we will call personA starts verbally harassing meng yao for his mother's profession. meng yao ignores these taunts, as he is used to them; however, when nie mingjue overhears this, he is enraged. nie mingjue jumps in and starts arguing with personA, who refuses to back down. and eventually, nie mingjue is so angered that he punches personA, sparking a fistfight.

now, the school's policy is that physical violence is forbidden, and that whoever escalates a confrontation into a physical one will be suspended. nie mingjue is fully in support of this policy, as he generally dislikes physical violence.

in this moment, now that he himself has physically assaulted a classmate, nie mingjue believes that he should be suspended. laws should be made of iron, not pudding. furthermore, nie mingjue knows that he is bigger and stronger than almost all other people his age, which makes any fight involving him unfair in his favor - therefore, nie mingjue is ashamed of himself for resorting to physical violence and believes he should be punished for doing so.

however, meng yao does not share this opinion. nie mingjue has recently been accepted into a fairly prestigious university with a scholarship to boot, and being suspended from high school at this stage would almost certainly cause this scholarship to be rescinded. this on its own is already a strong enough reason for meng yao, who does not want his friend's future to be negatively impacted simply because said friend stood up for meng yao, to intervene - however, meng yao must also consider nie huaisang. the nie siblings only have distant relatives supporting them at the moment, so the question of nie mingjue's future affects not just himself but also nie huaisang.

the fight with personA took place in a part of the school campus without any cameras, but did have multiple student witnesses. now, meng yao tracks down all of these student witnesses and essentially bribes them into all agreeing to lie and say that personA hit first. therefore, once the school administration questions the witnesses to figure out what happened, all of them report that personA hit first and that nie mingjue was only defending himself.

of course, nie mingjue and personA themselves report the truth: that it was nie mingjue who hit first. however, because personA already has a negative reputation among the staff as a shit-stirrer while nie mingjue is well-liked among the staff for being friendly, honest, and helpful, the administration ends up concluding that personA started the fight. thus, personA is suspended and nie mingjue faces a much lighter punishment (and does not lose his scholarship).

now, nie mingjue is obviously upset by this turn of events, as he feels he has unjustly evaded a punishment he should have faced. however, no matter how much nie mingjue insists that it was he who hit first, no one believes him.

at first, nie mingjue cannot figure out why. however, he eventually learns what was described above, which is that meng yao bribed all the eyewitnesses to lie for him. furthermore, nie mingjue also finds out that, on top of this, meng yao has also convinced both the general student body and the school staff that nie mingjue feels guilty about getting personA suspended because personA exited the fight more heavily injured than nie mingjue, and is thus trying to take on personA's punishment to atone. for this reason, no matter how much nie mingjue insists that he was the one who punched first, no one believes him.