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The sentence "You're well on your way to catching a cold." 🫠

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someone stuck in a timeloop whose coming down with a cold, and despite redoing the same day over and over again, it doesn’t stop their symptoms progressing. or someone stuck a timeloop with a cold, or perhaps the flu, and that is why they’re stuck, until they can admit they’re sick and stop, the day just keeps repeating.

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fever chills part 2 (a followup to this post)

forcing themselves to go to some outdoor event when they’re under the weather and shivering miserably in their coat the whole time

“how’re you feeling?” “I’m cold.”

catching a chill in damp, rainy weather. later, as the sniffles come on, they’re unable to shake the cold in their bones no matter how many blankets they wrap up in

teeth chattering against a glass thermometer

huddling in a thick bathrobe after their shower, too shivery to expose their wet skin to the air and change into warm, dry clothes

a heating pad on the highest setting, arms wrapped around it and clutching it to their chest

shivering deep internal shivers in the core of their gut that can’t be touched by external heat

goosebumps that creep and crawl across their skin

laying on the heating vent or by the radiator

shoulders hunched up to their ears to try and preserve body heat

enlisting their pet to lay on them because they’re so warm

when it’s the early stages of the fever, and they’re not shivering yet—they just feel chilled to their bones

big sweatshirts over two other layers of clothing, arms tightly folded against their body

blankets pulled up to their nose and staying in bed all day to try and keep warm

that horrible feeling when they’re sweating from their fever, then their layers ofclothes get damp, then they’re damp AND cold when the chills come back

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I know we go crazy over sneezing on someone’s bare body, but hear me out about sneezing over a black top 👀

Like if someone with a heavy, productive cold proceeded to have a fit all over what was once clean, dark fabric … now utterly soaked with spray, bubbling mess, and strings upon strings spread across like an infectious webbing. While tissues and bare skin might mask the details, the contrast of black allows for the contents of their cold to be on full, almost vulgar display, surprising both parties-

“oh… snff- I-I did all that?..”

“poor baby, your nose did quite a number… my shirt’s all covered in your little cold~”

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someone who usually enjoys their sneezes but they're feeling so poorly, they can't. they're feverish, fluctuating between burning and freezing, and their body is terribly achy, sore to the touch. every sneeze is just painful at thus point and often punctuated with a slight whimper or a moan. their whole body shakes when they sneeze and they're far too tired and unwell to even bother trying to cover propely, so they just end up sneezing openly, spraying everywhere, or muffling them into the blanket they've cocooned themselves in. poor thing.

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CW: contagion

Tourist with a horrendous cold, refusing to let said cold stop them from seeing ALL the sights, visiting ALL the places, going on ALL the tours, and even worse, they have no concept about keeping their germs to themselves so they sneeze openly everywhere, in ALL the crowded places.

Said obnoxiously cold-ridden tourist therefore not only generously share their dreadful cold with fellow tourists, but also hand out samples of it to tour guides, who proceed to sneeze their way through many crowded tours the following days, giving unwanted souvenirs to many more visitors.

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Two guys sharing a cold and going down on their snzfucker girlfriend. Trading out which one of them is eating her out and which one is sneezing into her thighs

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B has been feeling a little weird all day. A little shivery, a little tired, a little achey, starting to get sniffly, but overall okay. They don’t feel sick per se, just a little off.

Cut to B having a little movie night with their partner A, who is cradling B’s head in their lap. A is carding softly through their hair as they feel B’s breathing start to grow deeper and slower. They smile and move their fingers down towards B’s eyes, only to brush their forehead and stop. Is it just them, or is B feeling a little warm? They move their hand to B’s cheek, their other cupping the nape of their neck.

“You feeling okay? You feel really warm,” A asked, feeling B roll a little bit in their lap.

B mumbled something before burying their hot face deeper into the blankets and sniffling liquidly.

“Aw honey, let me get you some Tylenol so you can get some rest.”

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A scenario that always gets me is when A with a streaming headcold insists that their cold is not that bad when B tries to make them rest.

So B decides to apply a ruse and suggests a bet: If A can go two minutes without sneezing, then B believes they are fine. A agrees, and so B is sitting in fron of A with a stop watch, watching how A struggles against a mercilessly tickle in their poor, red, swollen nose, because yes, A really does have a bad cold, and boy do they need to sneeze so bad right now....

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A: Flu going around.

B: Okay.

A: C got it.

B: Shit.

A: You’re looking run down.

B: I’m good.

A: Like you need a hug or something.

B: I don’t. I promise.

A: You’re next. Mark my words.

B: Oh my God, I’m just a bit tired. Stop soothsaying.

A: The sooth has been said. I can’t unsay it.

B: *snz*

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I've never wanted to have sex with an airplane but I think it's cool how some people want to have sex with airplanes. I think the world is a richer and more colorful place for it.

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A cold begins to travel through a large group of friends, with all of them getting sick within the first week.

Except one.

They pride themselves on never getting sick, and are obnoxiously disgusted with their ill friends. They lorde their healthiness above all of them, considering themselves a different breed just because they haven’t caught a cold since they were a kid.

The groups decided to enact a little justice.

They begin to do EVERYTHING possible to spread their cold to this friend. Offering contaminated drinks, sneezing extra hard, leaving dirty tissues around…you name it.

Finally, finally, they hear the first wet sniffle, and they know they’ve succeeded.

Unfortunately, instead of getting angry, the friend quickly deflates, ashamed of letting themselves get sick. They hide themselves in sneezy, sniffly shame.

The group feels awful — they never wanted it to go this far. Now, they need to make it up to their sick friend with a lot of TLC…and the trash television that they think know one knows they like to watch.

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every time i tell someone irl i'm still on tumblr they say something like "even after the porn ban?" and i give them a little secret smile and say "you just have to develop kinks so esoteric they aren't recognized as porn" and we all have a laugh and none of them know i go on tumblr and jack off to sneezing

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A couple sitting propped up in their large bed in their favorite pjs. They both came down with the same terrible cold, their noses bright red, streaming and full to the brim with sneezes. Used, balled-up tissues are scattered all around them like a halo, and they've sneezed so much today, that person A has given up on tissues altogether and is just giving themselves up to the sneezes, letting them fly uncovered for why bother anyway if both of them are sick already?

B is adamant that all sneezes should be covered, so when A's breath hitches helplessly, B reaches out a hand to catch A's desperate "Aaahh'TIISSHU!!!" in their hand, only to feel a sneeze blooming in their own nose. Without thinking, they hold the hand A has just sneezed into in front of their own nose and sneeze a spraying "Heh'PTTSSHIEW!!!" into it, so now their palm is shimmering wet with both their colds.

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snz Tumblr, in a magical setting where the internet works very differently. You've seen some posts you like from an account you don't know, so you click over to their blog and look at their tags. One of them is "contagion cn". Nice. Wait, there's a pinned post. You're reading it now. The first line says "I tag my contagious posts "contagion cn". Mortals and part-mortals, you have been warned. Take care, babes!" Oh, ok then. Your dad was human, but you take after the elf side of the family. You hardly ever get sick. Your immune system is very strong. You're not going to get a cold just from reading some sneeze kink text posts. Who even does that? Sure, you've heard of people claiming they got sick from The Sneezy Sorceress's wavs, but that's just people who are very susceptible. It won't happen to you, even if you read the whole tag in one night. Which you do. You're tired the next morning even though you slept in. Maybe you shouldn't have stayed up so late? Oh well. You'll still be in time for work if you skip breakfast. Good thing you're not very hungry today. You grab a warmer coat. The sun's bright, too bright even, and the forecast said it'd be a hot day, but it sure doesn't feel that way...

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There's something so lovely about the classic sick look.

They're wearing a nightshirt instead of PJs, a glass thermometer in their mouths, and old fashioned ice pack held to their head.

They're wraped in a thick blanket, shivering and miserable and soaking their feet in hot water.

And of course there are only handkerchiefs to use and reuse again and again - holding on to all the mess and contagion as they sneeze and blow their nose into it.

It's an era where transmission by touch is not widely thought of, where they only worry about what's released into the air.

This highly contagious person covers with either the handkerchief or their bare hands, and still thinks they are being polite and careful. They just don't know how much they are spreading their cold around…

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CW: contagion

An intimidating cold.

By that I mean a cold so nasty that it is a visible menace to anyone that crosses paths with the afflicted person, simply because it looks so horribly symptomatic and contagious. A cold so terrible that you could see the person suffering from it from behind a window and feel like you could still catch it.

That something? 😏