redactedrichie - Tumblr blog

[redactedrichie]

AU where everything is exactly the same except instead of wanting to fuck Pennywise the clown y'all are normal functioning human beings

[redactedrichie]

IT (2017) x Over The Garden Wall

[redactedrichie]

the loser’s club as my friends ?/?

richie: hanging 14 inflatable seals from the ceiling. they stay there for five months because he’s the only one tall enough to reach them.

mike hanlon: making a ton of jokes about Arby’s, never has set foot in an Arby’s

bill: replying outloud to a state legislator with “that sounds fake, but okay.”

stan: pronouncing runescape as run escape just to make richie mad

bev: urgently pretending to get up and frantically run for the exit

eddie: loudly complaining about his friends being messy while simultaneously throwing his own stuff on the floor and leaving his used coffee cup on the table

ben: stealing everyone’s gum for six months, and upon getting caught after heavy denial, he fills an entire drawer with gum

but he’s superglued the gum together and then to the bottom of the drawer so you can’t get it out if you tried - because everyone always takes his stuff without asking (and it’s true.)

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I’d like to thank everyone who recently started writing Richie’s parents as non abusive and overall good parents because it makes me super happy to imagine him with good experiences instead of bad ones

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um, I’m gonna need sources on this one :/ 

Don’t quote me on this but I think Finn Wolfhard might have played Richie Tozier in IT 2017…

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come get yall juice

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What some of y’all think Eddie is like vs. What he’s actually like

gif is not mine

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The boys <3

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My favourite Reddie concept is a bully hitting Richie and breaking his glasses and Eddie losing his shit about it. Like, the tall and strong and crazy piece of shit is walking away with a winning feeling, everybody cheering his name for knocking that nerd out, and Eddie fucking screeches “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” and jumps on his back like a mad radioactive koala and nobody knows what happens next, it’s all black for every soul in Derry, but the guy needs medical attention and Eddie is freaking out because he scratched his knee.

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reddie’s wedding but instead of them choosing who walks down the aisle they both get blindfolded and start at opposite sides of the room and it’s a competition where whoever reaches the alter first gets to say their vows first

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can you do a hc where it compares how eddie acts when one of the losers are sick vs when richie is sick (bc reddie of course)

oh heeeell yeah im love this one. dedicated to my gf @latinxrichie who is currently sick and i wish i could be taking care of her (also inspired by her because she literally is telling me she’s on her deathbed)

• thanks to all the bullshit w his mom eddie has basically reacted to sickness in the same way for as long as any of the losers can remember• if someone’s sick it triggers his inner ‘mom friend’• he’ll go out of his way to do nice things• drop off a care package full of tissues or medicine, flowers, a thermos full of soup• but because of his paranoia he won’t actually go near them• he can’t stand the thought of his friends being sick• but he doesn’t want to be sick himself• its…. complicated• in fact he usually wears a face mask and gloves if he comes into any contact with them• he actually brought soup directly to bill when he was sick once• when he was sure that bill had “coughed on him” he never did it again• however, the losers notice this begin to change during later years of high school• but the changes are only revolving around richie• touching his forehead if he says he doesn’t feel well, or walking him to the drinking fountain or bathroom to splash water on his face• sometimes richie will cough or sneeze before throwing an arm around eddie, and the smaller boy will seem completely unfazed and just continue talking• one day in particular richie is out of school• eddie is ready to bitch and moan about how he “shouldn’t be ditching school, ive told him a thousand times” when stan mentions he stayed home sick• eddie goes home early that day• when the losers stop by richie’s later to see how he’s doing they’re all shocked to find that eddie is already there• sitting on the edge of his bed and feeding him soup… not even wearing a face mask• richie, despite being sick and weak, seems pretty damn smug lying there with a damp cloth on his forehead• “thanks for checking on me, guys. im dying, and i hope you’ll all remember me fondly, but as you can see i have the cutest nurse-”• eddie is beyond embarrassed• “okay visiting hours are over”• grumbles and tries to nudge their friends to go, who are all laughing• “eddie.. did you really ditch school to take care of richie?”• “goodbye stanley”• he closes the door behind them to return to richie, who just smirks at him• “dying, rich?”• “i am, but at least this is how i get to go”• eddie sighs and averts his gaze in irritation, but his cheeks turn a bright pink, and he simply sits on the edge of the bed again• “by the way, don’t call me cute”

[redactedrichie]

some Disney World thoughts

okay I’ve been thinking about when I worked at Disney (WDW in Florida, to be specific) and I want! to write this AU! so bad! but I have to finish my other stuff first! so in the meantime, here’s some thoughts about the Losers as Disney World employees:

Bill - Guest Relations at Magic Kingdom

Bill looks good in plaid, and he knows it. Excellent at handling angry guests, so is often stuck at Town Hall trying to juggle a bunch of sweaty, cranky tourists. Less good at giving VIP tours; often ends up on tangents or making up stories, and is not good at hiding the fact that he’s annoyed by the entitled rich assholes that purchase VIP stuff. Doesn’t know shit about how ticketing works, which has gotten him in trouble a few times. One time, on a day off, he saw a beautiful boy at the Boardwalk, and he’s gone back quite a few times in hopes that he’d see him again. At this point, he’s given up hope on the guy not being a tourist, but the reality of the situation is that he’s just too dense to have checked inside the proximal resorts, because: Stan - Front Desk at the Yacht Club Resort

Stan is the Precision King. He’s never bungled a reservation, and all of his fellow Yacht Club castmates regard him with an amount of awe (for work reasons and also because he looks fucking incredible in the nautical themed costume). Salutes to the Captain greeter every morning. Spends his free time watching the white ibises out on the Boardwalk (and, more recently, a lost looking blonde guy walking around and around and around, seemingly looking for something).

Ben - Imagineer

Ben is ALL UP ON THAT RIDE PLANNING SHIT. Really good about bridging the gap between childhood dreams and attractions that are also interesting to adults. Gets put in charge of a lot of the Star Wars stuff because he knows the lore like the back of his hand. Quietly hopes to be put on a project at MK one day because he went into costuming there one (1) time and highkey fell in love with one of the attendants….. Bev - Costuming Operations at Magic Kingdom

Bev is the raddest and sweetest costumer at MK! Everyone hopes she’s working when they come in to check out clothes bc she’s not a fucking stickler like literally everyone else that works there. Doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with character costumes bc she likes to make modifications that “aren’t in fitting with the classic character’s persona”, but enjoys messing around with the classic attractions cast costumes all the same. Her faves are the Mansion Maid/Butler outfits. Richie - Attractions Cast: Jungle Cruise

Richie “Should Not Have Been Handed A Microphone, But Somehow Here He Is” Tozier. Is phenomenal at his job, but gets in trouble bc he doesn’t follow the script At All (managers hate him! guests love him! people come specifically to request him!) His botes have definitely gone viral at least twice because he’s funny as fuck. Always wears the god-awful khaki shorts option for his costume; REFUSES to switch to pants. The humidity makes his hair 3x bigger than it already is, which adds to the comedy of his whole schtick. Prowls the tunnels when he’s on his 30 minute break, trying and failing to locate a character attendant he fell head over heels for from across Aladdin’s Flying Carpets when he was at Fastpass one time. Eddie - Character Attendant

Eddie is the King of All Character Attendants because he knows better than anyone how to say “no” kindly but firmly, which makes him a boss at herding people through lines and/or cutting off lines. Was placed with Peter Pan in Adventureland for a really long time, which was problematic because people confused him for Pan right up until Pan actually made an appearance in costume. Has (illegally) signed his fair share of Pan autographs. Has a really embarrassing crush on one of the more boisterous Jungle Cruise Skippers, so avoids that ride (and that guy, in the tunnels) at all costs. Is most often at Princess Fairytale Hall with Tiana and Rapunzel. The entertainment cast members LOVE him - the girls think he’s adorable and the guys lowk all have crushes on him. Mike - Epcot Kidcot Attendant

Kidcot is the kid programming for the World Showcase at Epcot, and Mike is all over that ish. He is SUCH A GOOD TEACHER, and gets so hype about the activities at each of the stations that he draws in a huge crowd of kids every time. Knows sooooo much about every single country, and is incredibly good at talking about it and making connections so that the kids leave Epcot actually having learned something. Basically the only reason why Kidcot is still afloat…well, him and Perry the Platypus.

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idk-why-i-wrote-this!au + ten points if u can guess the 80s movie

“Just one more minute,” Eddie tapped on the side of the car. “I’m sorry, I know we’re already late. I just have to take the trash out, I locked up.”

“It was a very long day,” Myra told him carefully, whine just edging into the back of her voice. “Why are you so late?” She had arrived over a half hour ago, and he did feel bad about it. But there was only so much he could do as the last waiter on shift, he had to clean up.

“The wedding singer had this weird melt down in the middle of the reception.” He told his fiancé, leaning in conspiratorially. “He was all fine singing I Can’t Fight this Feeling- and then, all of a sudden, was furiously ranting about how couples can succeed. And then he sang a song comparing his exgirlfriend to a… well, it certainly wasn’t polite. The best man of the wedding threw a punch, and half the wedding table got destroyed.”

“That poor bride…” Myra looked devastated on her behalf.

“Poor wedding singer got beat to high heavens, Marty. I think they threw him into the dumpster.” He told her earnestly.

“Well,” she eyed the bag by his feet. “Do hurry, I’m exhausted. But try and make sure you don’t rain the man in additional garbage.”

“Yeah.” He sighed, lifting the bag with a bit of struggle. “Be just a minute.”

“Please make it just a minute!!” Myra called after him as he rounded the corner of the building to the well secluded dumpsters behind it. He approached with caution. He might not be in there, and it was a silly rumor spread by bus boys. Eddie decide to air on the side of caution, and felt foolish as he carefully approached.

“Wedding singer, sir, uh.” Eddie knocked politely on the side of the dumpster. “Are you in there?”

“Roger that.” He didn’t sound like a man in a dumpster. He sounded. Plain.

“Are you okay?”

“Peachy.”

“I need to throw out the trash from tonight.”

“Go for it.”

“Uh…” Eddie looked down at the bag. It was large and heaving and it, like the dumpster itself, smelled very, very bad.

“It’s okay. I live here now.”

“You shouldn’t do that. You’re too talented for that.” Eddie told him honestly. His set before the entire emotional-break-down-rage-singing-telling-his-ex-to-choke-in-song.

Mussed hair and big eyes appeared, squinting at him skeptically over the top edge of the dumpster.

“I was going to book you for my wedding.”

They continued to squint.

“And this smells really bad.”

“It’s been a tough week, pal.”

“So I’ve gathered. I can’t imagine how staying in ther will help. Gotta get back on the horse, right? Can’t get on a horse in a dumpster.” He nervously checked his watch- Myra would chew him out later.

“Dumpster or otherwise, I’m never performing another song. If I could even get hired.”

“I just said I would hire you!”

“And you are?”

“Eddie Kaspbrak. Man with trash.”

“Richie Tozier. Man of trash.”

“It was a good set,” Eddie encouraged, ignoring Richie’s moan of protest at the compliment. “It was!” He insisted.

Richie laughed ingenuinely from inside the dumpster. “You sure know how to make a man feel special.”

“Do I know how to make a man get out a dumpster?” Eddie joked impishly. He was almost surprised when Richie’s large hands gripped the top edge, hoisting himself up, so he could see the rest of his face, and then his shoulders. His face was red and bleeding, beginnings of bruises aleady faint on his cheekbones. He looked mad - stark raving, in his own, handsome-ish way.

“Well, I hate to-” Richie was smirking when he slipped, seemingly, and crashed with a wet sounding noise into the dumpster. Eddie’s heart crashed with him, empathy nearly swallowing him alive.

“So, you’re back in the dumpster.” Eddie tried to joke lightly. The silence between them attempted to punch a hole in his ear drum.

“You know, it’s kind of like a metaphor.” Eddie tried again, optimistically.

“I’ll metaphor you, Kaspbrak.” Richie’s muffled voice replied from the inside of the dumpster. Eddie heaved an enormous sigh. He pulled the sleeves of his just slightly oversized black button down over his palms and propped himself up, heaving a leg over the side of the dumpster to balance on its edge. He offered his hand down to Richie.

“You know what they say,” Eddie told him as he, with a good deal of effort, tugged him up. “When life gives you garbage…” he had no idea where he was going with that one.

“You climb it?” Richie asked skeptically. “No one says that.” But he did manage, with Eddie’s help, to straddle the side of the dumpster as Eddie had done. Eddie grinned at him. “No one says that,” he inspected Eddie’s face with a little smile of his own.

“I do,” Eddie shrugged. “And I also say that you shouldn’t let one bad performance ruin your whole career.” He didn’t know why he was trying to help this filthy man. Habit of Eddie’s, he supposed, overactive empathy.

“Hardly a career.”

“I see a lot of singers at this joint,” he pointed at the large country club banquet room. “I’m not just saying you’re good to butter you up. I don’t even like butter.”

“Everyone likes butter.”

“There you go again with the generalizations. Nobody climbs trash, everybody likes butter…” Eddie rolled his eyes, continuing his rant just because Richie’s mouth was quirking into a smile, melting at some of the tension on his face. “A bad show keeps a star from rising.” He added on.

“I’m going to go home and eat soy sauce on crackers. And I have to return their deposit.”

“There’s always struggle at the beginning.”

“She threw her shoe at me. I had the bride’s fucking shoe in here.” Richie grin looked familiar, like Eddie had known him - would know him. That weird feeling between people where the universe clicks! and says hello, this is an important development in your life, you’re welcome!

“Well go get it!” Eddie scoffed, gesturing down a the trash. “Try and trade it with her for the deposit.”

And when Richie snorted, it shattered the apathetic class clouding his eyes. He looked down at the dumpster, squinting to see if he could see the shoe. Eddie watched him look. It was, safely, much more interesting than watching trash.

“It looks smaller from here.” Richie noted plaintively, raking a hand through his sticky looking hair.

Eddie nearly laughed. “Me or the dumpster?”

Richie laughed, shoulder slumped but not despairingly. “Both.” He held out his hand. Eddie shook it. “Thank you, my good sir.” He said in a posh British accent. “Genuinely, though. I dunno how I would have got outta this without you.”

Eddie snorted, a sweet warm mix of the two laughs coming together, on top of a dumpster. “Glad you’re back on your feet,” Eddie grinned at him, kicking at his foot with his own. Richie huffed with a smile, looking down at their shoes. “On your way to success.” Eddie more purposefully kicked him. Richie laughed, tapping his foot against the dumpster. “So…” Eddie leaned forward, balancing carefully by setting a hand in between them on the edge. His fingers were splayed “will you sing at my wedding?”

Richie looked at him with surprise. Eddie watch his large eyes simmer into fondness, a half-smile toying at his mouth. He sighed deeply, coming straight from his lungs to the air between them, a soft, and sad, yet accepting sound.

He reached down, and pat Eddie’s hand with one of his, smiled kindly, and replied sweetly: “no.”

[redactedrichie]

Richie & Eddie XD It 2017

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eddie: being gay isn’t a choice!

eddie: it’s a game. and i’m winning

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↳ the losers club (1/7) ; bill denbrough

“Swear, swear, if IT isn’t dead, if IT ever comes back, we’ll come back too.”

[redactedrichie]

au where eddie is trying to get away from his mom but college is expensive, and because he’s still legally a dependent of his mom he can’t get any good aid. so he and his short term friend and roommate richie tozier agree to get married so eddie can be legally independent of his mom and his aid can be based on their combined annual sallaries (considering eddie works at a coffee shop and richie does va commissions, that’s not much)

to make it believable richie sort of invites eddie into the tozier family - maggie and went are TOTALLY in on it and know everything, but after hearing eddie’s story about his mom and dad they decide to treat him like he’s their son anyways.

anyways uh, obviously they get feelings for each other and shit