redactedweasel

[redactedweasel]

"Dangerous"

[redactedweasel]

starting a collection of whatever this is

[redactedweasel]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[redactedweasel]

Honestly pretty respectful, all things considered

[redactedweasel]

try not to unlearn all your shame in case there's something good stuff in there that you can sexualize

[redactedweasel]

this is so fucking wild to me I can’t stop laughing literally no wonder the perceived top shortage exists

[redactedweasel]

went on the most insane grindr date of my life last night hold on

[redactedweasel]

what is the resonance frequency of the clitoris

[redactedweasel]

[redactedweasel]

nooo babe i love your "rusted megastructure" style pussy i was just thinking we could try something else tonight

[redactedweasel]

This guy won’t leave

[redactedweasel]

They're always eating everything

[redactedweasel]

Its not even possible to get better at giving blowjobs. Everyone chews bubblegum the same

everyone stay away from this persons mouth OK

[redactedweasel]

Modern vampire who has spent the last 70-ish years of their immortality primarily being slutty in nightclubs and non-lethal snacking on hookups shocked and uncomfortable that most vampires older than the lightbulb are really into torture and cruelty and eating babies alive. Super excited to finally meet his own kind and then oh no. oh fuck. time out wtf are they doing. this is profoundly unsexy they bit that guy’s arm off and are letting him crawl around screaming and crying. there’s not even any kissing or grinding or club music. is this normal?? i am Going to throw up i’ve gotta get these poor ppl out of here. askjeeves how to smuggle 30 naked prisoners (assorted genders) out of vampire mansion time sensitive.

[redactedweasel]

[redactedweasel]

[redactedweasel]

yeah i'll be your dog but this is a professional relationship first and foremost. I mean we can have sex too but