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[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Affection 

It started with simple touches. Eddie wasn’t sure where they stood after they got together. It was easy enough to admit how they felt for one another but much harder to figure out how they should approach it, especially in Derry. So they didn’t change much, outwardly. Richie would toss his arm around Eddie’s shoulders as they walked or they would sit close together at the lunch table, knees and elbows brushing as they engaged with the rest of their friends.

Sometimes when they were isolated at the quarry or enveloped in darkness at the Aladdin, their fingers would tangle together or Eddie would lay his head on Richie’s shoulder. The need to be careful went unspoken between them. One day they wouldn’t have to be so scared. They hung onto that, letting dreams of the future carry them through the day when they couldn’t show what they felt around others.

When they weren’t around others, it was a whole different story. They saved their most affectionate moments for just the two of them. It was moments like these that they treasured, losing themselves in one another without care for the rest of the world. Eddie used to fear that he wouldn’t be able to lose himself in another person’s touch. That his mind and his fears would work against him and make him push anyone away who got too close.

He should have known better.

Richie’s touches were addictive. He discovered that soon enough. Even when it first began, when they stumbled their way to admitting their feelings for one late night in the summer between their sophomore and junior year. Cross-legged on Richie’s basement floor, wide eyed and facing one another, Eddie couldn’t get enough. He’d never seen Richie so hesitant. Never seen him so wary to touch another person.

But when he reached his hand out, palm facing the ceiling, Richie stared at it as if he’d never seen anything like it before. Then he reached out too, his fingers brushing over Eddie’s hand and tracing every line he found etched into his palm with a look of awe and disbelief in his eyes, as if he couldn’t quite grasp that they were really here, in this situation with one another.

Eddie did the same, studying Richie’s hands in a way that he never had before, searing every detail into his memory as he ran his fingers over faded scars and bruised knuckles. They laid on that same floor that night, stuffed into too-small sleeping bags and facing one another with tired eyes itching to close but too much exhilaration running through their veins for sleep to come quickly.

They didn’t move quickly from there. Eddie expected Richie to throw himself into their relationship with the same enthusiasm that he had for everything but to his utter surprise, the other boy seemed content to move at a snail’s pace. Not that their interactions changed that much. Richie would throw his arm over Eddie’s shoulders when they walked together, like always, and he would sit as close as usual to him at lunch, their knees and elbows brushing as they ate.

On rare occasions, alone at the quarry or enveloped in darkness at the Aladdin, their fingers would lace together or Eddie would let his head settle on Richie’s shoulder. He knew he was never imagining the pressure of Richie’s lips on the top of his head when he did. But still, they didn’t kiss. Eddie didn’t know what to make of it until they found themselves alone in his bedroom one Saturday afternoon when his mother was out.

Richie sat cross-legged on the floor, pulling books from Eddie’s shelves and rearranging them in a random order that only he knew. Eddie knew he’d have to fix it all later but he didn’t care at the moment, humming along to the music playing quietly from his laptop as he laid on his stomach on the bed, his knees bent and ankles crossed as he lazily flipped through an NYU catalog that Stan gave him.

Lifting his head, Eddie let his eyes linger on Richie for a long few moments, considering him carefully. His dark curls were riotous as usual, springing every which way as he nodded his head to the beat of the song, thumbing through Eddie’s well-used copy of The Outsiders. Closing the catalog slowly, Eddie settled his chin on his hand and worried at his lower lip with his teeth, weighing his words carefully before he spoke them.

“Why haven’t we kissed yet?”

Richie grew still, the book slipping from his hand and falling to the ground just before he turned his head. Wariness was written across his face, along with the slightest traces of confusion. As he pushed to his knees, scooting across the carpet towards the bed, Eddie was grateful for the music that broke up the silence between them. Richie stopped at the edge of the bed, crossing his arms on the mattress with a curiously solemn look on his face.

“I… I didn’t think that you wanted to,” he admitted.

“I never said that,” Eddie countered with a frown.

Richie let out a laugh, oddly making Eddie feel both annoyed and affectionate.

“You only spent the majority of our lives telling everyone how gross it all is,” he reminded Eddie, raising one eyebrow as if challenging him to disagree.

“Maybe because you always made it sound so gross,” Eddie said, scoffing lightly.

Richie smirked at him and Eddie knew what was coming before he even said it.

“Cross my heart, babe, I would’ve sewed my lips shut myself if I knew it meant I’d get some Spaghetti love later in life.”

Eddie reached out, shoving at his shoulders with a groan of disgust.

“That’s exactly what the fuck I’m talking about,” he complained.

Richie grinned at him, rocking back before pushing to his feet and climbing onto the bed. Eddie expected him to do something else dumb but his breath caught in his throat when Richie nudged him around to his back before dropping onto the bed next to him, propped on his side with one hand on Eddie’s hip as he gazed down at him.

“I told myself it was worth the wait,” Richie said, pushing Eddie’s shirt up just slightly to brush his thumb over his skin.

A shiver rocked through him, followed by a slow warmth that filled his chest.

“You never had to wait,” Eddie said, feeling breathless.

“Neither did you,” Richie said with a teasing lilt to his voice, squeezing his hip lightly.

Eddie let out a soft sigh, shrugging one shoulder.

“Thought you might not want to,” he mumbled.

“Well that’s the most ridiculous fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Richie said with a shake of his head. “It’s just the only thing I think about all the time.”

Eddie gave him an unimpressed look.

“I think we both know you’re not just thinking about kissing,” he said.

“Yeah but there’s innocent ears about,” Richie said, reaching up to tug at Eddie’s ear lightly. “Don’t wanna corrupt him too much.”

“Liar.”

The accusation didn’t faze Richie at all. He simply flashed Eddie a grin before ducking his head. The feeling of jittery anticipation returned just before Richie’s lips brushed over his. It was a brief kiss, barely lasting a second or two before Richie pulled away just a few inches. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open as he wondered when he ever closed them.

“Shit,” Richie breathed out, looking down at him with awe. “You’ve done it now, Eds. I won’t wanna do anything else.”

Eddie let out an affectionate scoff, reaching up to press his hand over Richie’s cheek.

“That was barely a kiss,” he said, meeting Richie’s gaze.

“Well if you insist.”

A laugh barely left Eddie’s mouth before they were kissing again, their lips slotting together perfectly as Richie’s hand fell to his hip again. Eddie curled his fingers into that wild hair, heat flooding him from head to toe as he pressed up into the kiss, already finding himself desperate for more.

It was too easy to lose himself in Richie Tozier. Every day that passed proved it to him more and more. And one day, the future that they dreamed of came around and they didn’t have to hide anymore. Their fear faded to nothingness and they never had to question where they stood with one another again.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Do it again

If anyone would have asked Eddie a year ago where he thought he’d be in the summer before his senior year of high school, sitting in the back of Richie Tozier’s rusty pick-up truck exchanging feverish kisses with the boy in question wouldn’t have been anywhere in his thoughts. Yet here he was, fingers knotted in riotous dark curls and knees digging into the leather seat on either side of Richie’s slim hips.

Eddie would swear until his dying day, even after they got together, that he never thought of Richie like this until the first time they kissed. He’d be a damn liar, but he’d still swear it. In truth, he’d imagined it a million times. In his thoughts, Richie always made up for his sloppiness with enthusiasm. The truth was far better. Richie kissed like it was an art form in itself, starting slow with soft caresses and gentle nibbles before building into a wonderful crescendo.

He never imagined it could feel like this. Eddie thought that kissing was just something he’d put up with in exchange for the tender intimacy of being close with another human being. He expected that he would have to endure it, never that he would anticipate the times when he could be swept away by the feeling of Richie’s lips on his. Eddie grew to love it, hardly waiting until they were alone to align his body with Richie’s and claim his lips.

But it was different this time. He didn’t quite know what to do with himself when Richie gently lifted his chin and began pressing soft, lingering kisses along his jawline. Eddie’s heart stuttered in his chest as his stomach swooped with anticipation. Though it wasn’t until Richie dropped his head a little lower and brushed a kiss just over his pulse point that a soft whine slipped from Eddie’s lips.

Everything grew still in that moment. He let out a shaking breath as Richie drew away, tilting his head up to meet Eddie’s half-lidded gaze. Richie’s eyes were so dark that the only blue Eddie could see was the smallest ring on the outside of his irises. Yet there, written across his face, were the slightest traces of hesitation. He stopped for a reason. Eddie frowned a little, realizing just how much he resented the disruption.

Tugging his hand away from Richie’s hair, he let his fingertips trace a path from his temple down his cheek and to his jaw, his thumb brushing over Richie’s bottom lip. Tender affection wrapped Eddie’s heart in a warm embrace when Richie pressed a soft kiss to the pad of his thumb. Eddie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth but it did nothing to make him forget what he really wanted.

“Do it again,” Eddie said, his voice almost unrecognizable to his own ears.

Richie’s eyes grew slightly wider and he tilted his head to the side, his gaze dropping to Eddie’s throat before meeting his eyes again. With a simple nod, Eddie made sure that Richie knew that was exactly what he wanted. Reaching up, Richie curled his fingers into Eddie’s carefully styled hair, making a mess of it all too easily as he tilted Eddie’s head back again.

The same noise made its way to Eddie’s lips as he melted into the soft kisses peppered over his throat. It was all good and innocent until Richie’s lips brushed the hollow of his throat and made him shiver, his hands tugging at Richie’s hair just enough to pull a groan from deep in his chest. Just when he thought it couldn’t possibly get better, Richie’s teeth teased at the spot where his neck met his shoulder and Eddie gasped at the hot desire that scorched through him.

He could feel Richie’s smile against his skin but did nothing to stop him, even when he felt certain that his boyfriend had been paying far too much attention to that one spot, pulling whimpers and moans from Eddie’s lips that Richie seemed to enjoy far too much. It wasn’t until the next day, as he stumbled in the bathroom to take a shower, that Eddie felt supremely thankful that his mother was downstairs so that she didn’t see the bruised spot on the side of his neck.

And when Richie smirked when he saw the scarf that Eddie wore for the entire day, despite the fact that it was hotter than hell outside, Eddie vowed to himself that he’d have his revenge. Unfortunately for him, Richie wasn’t embarrassed about showing off the multiple love bites on his neck, winking at Eddie as the rest of the Losers snickered at the red flush in Eddie’s cheeks.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Babysitting

It was impossible not to smile at the child sitting so contentedly in his lap, giggling at every face he pulled. They were just biding time until her parents got home. She should have been in bed by now but even after a bath, a warm bottle, and a few bedtime stories, she still refused to close her eyes. So Eddie didn’t force her, knowing that Ben and Beverly would be just fine with it.

“Who’s the sweetest little girl in the world?” Eddie asked, tickling at her stomach.

She let out a peal of laughter, wiggling away from him as her small hands batted uselessly at his own.

“Who is it?” he asked in a sing-song voice.

“Me,” she managed amidst her giggles.

Eddie drew his hands away with a gasp, looking at her with wide eyes.

“You?” he asked, bopping her nose with his finger.

Evie nodded eagerly, nearly smacking him as she tried to do the same to his nose. Eddie caught her wrist gently and pretended that he would bite her hand, eliciting more laughter from her small form. It was then that they heard the sound of the door opening, voices floating in from the entryway of the apartment.

“Mama!” Evie yelled, bouncing on Eddie’s lap.

There was a pause and then quiet laughter until Beverly and Ben walked into the room.

“Is my silly baby girl still awake?” Beverly said, a smile on her face. “Bothering Mr. Eddie, huh?”

Evie didn’t hesitate to nod her head, her copper curls, inherited from her mother, bouncing around her face.

“Ebbie,” she said, pointing triumphantly at Eddie.

He couldn’t help but smile at her mispronunciation, part of him wishing that she would never ever learn how to say it right. It was too damn cute.

“That’s right,” Ben said, walking around the couch to lift her into his arms. “You’ve got him wrapped around your little finger, huh?”

“You’re one to talk,” Beverly snorted, mussing Eddie’s hair as she passed to drop her purse. “She didn’t want to go down, huh?”

He shook his head, standing from the couch.

“Not even after we read Pete the Cat,” he said, frowning mockingly in Evie’s direction.

She just blew a raspberry his way, smacking a hand against her father’s broad chest.

“I’ll get her settled in bed,” Ben volunteered.

“I’ll give Eddie his money,” Beverly said.

“And I’ll walk this cutie down to the street.”

Their eyes all snapped to the doorway where a fourth person stood. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of the tall, lanky man with wild curls and bright eyes. Richie’s lips lifted into a grin as he looked back at Eddie, winking at him.

“I have a name,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes, hoping that no one else heard the affection in his voice.

“Oh I know,” Richie said, brushing it off with a shrug. “But I just can’t help it. You are cute, cute, cute.”

“Cute, cute, cute,” a small voice repeated.

All eyes turned to Evie now where she was being carried towards the hallway by Ben. She preened at the attention.

“You’re a terrible influence,” Ben tossed over his shoulder.

“I think you meant amazing,” Richie corrected.

“I said what I said.”

Eddie took the check from Beverly as she handed it over, hiding his smile and thanking her.

“I can rein him in if you want,” she said, tilting her head towards Richie.

“Nah I think I can handle him,” Eddie said with a shake of his head.

“Consider this your invitation,” Richie butted in, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “You can handle me any way you want.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie said.

Beverly simply looked amused, pulling Eddie into a hug.

“See you soon,” she murmured.

“Have a good night,” Eddie replied.

They pulled away and he turned towards Richie after grabbing his bag and jacket. The taller man stepped aside, gesturing for Eddie to lead the way. They stepped out into the hallway of the building together, making their way down to the elevator in step with one another. It wasn’t until the double doors slid closed, leaving them perfectly and completely alone, that Richie reached out and brushed his fingers over Eddie’s palm.

“Can I help you?” Eddie asked softly, the slightest bit of amusement laced in his words.

“I believe you can,” Richie said, wrapping his hand more firmly around Eddie’s before tugging him over.

It didn’t take long for him to be pressed against the wall of the elevator, Richie’s hands on his hips as they kissed slowly and languidly, taking their time. Eddie slid his arms around Richie’s shoulders, tilting his head to the side and sweeping his tongue over Richie’s bottom lip.

“Fuck,” Richie murmured, pressing fully against him. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

Eddie flushed at his words, pressing his forehead against Richie’s.

“When do you think they’ll start to question why you insist on coming back with them when I’m babysitting?” he whispered.

Richie simply grinned at him, shrugging one shoulder.

“I think we have a few more times before they get suspicious,” he said, looking into Eddie’s eyes. “You wanna stop?”

Eddie didn’t have to even consider it. He knew that it probably wasn’t advisable, falling for the best friend of his employers. But here he was, with absolutely no intention of going back.

“Kiss me again,” he said instead, though he knew full well the elevator was about to reach the lobby.

“Yes sir,” Richie said, leaning in.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Hands

It was his hands that Eddie noticed first. Big and waving wildly, with bruised knuckles and chipped nail polish. There was a scar on his palm and a bright yellow band-aid wrapped around his left middle finger. He wasn’t even talking to Eddie or even facing him and yet he demanded attention. Attention that Eddie had no choice but to give to him.

He tried to focus on the book that sat open on the table in front of him, well aware that he had to know the information before he attended his next class, but those hands kept drawing his eyes. Eddie didn’t know the man they belonged to, but his hands told a story. A story that was impossible to know. A small part of Eddie craved to know that story.

Then the man stood to leave with his friend and Eddie turned back to his book, telling himself that he’d never see him again.

It was his hair that Eddie noticed next. Wild and windswept. Curly and dark as night. One of his hands kept running through it, pushing it out of his eyes or tugging at it with frustration as he held a phone up to his ear with his other hand. He was pacing back and forth in front of the library on their campus. People brushed past him without a second glance.

Eddie sat far enough away on a stone bench under a tree that he couldn’t hear his side of the conversation but it was obviously less than good. He kicked at a stone on the path and tossed his head back with his eyes closed, his hair bouncing against his head as he took a deep breath before dropping his chin back to his chest.

With one last sweep of his hand through that hair that Eddie couldn’t keep his eyes off of, the man turned to walk away, every step resonating with irritation.

It was his eyes that Eddie noticed next. Not his ridiculously unmatched clothing or ridiculous height or the fact that he had the grace of a recently birthed baby deer. It was his eyes, blinking at Eddie from behind thick-framed glasses. Bright blue and wide, reflecting his shock and humiliation as they both did their best to ignore the parts of themselves that were aching pretty badly.

Eddie hadn’t been watching where he was going. He didn’t really expect an exuberant and familiar college student to come bounding out of a nearby bookstore only to run headlong into Eddie, knocking them both to the ground with matching grunts of pain. They took a few moments to let the situation sink in before lifting their heads to look at one another.

There was no doubt in Eddie’s mind that his palms were scraped. His elbow was throbbing where it struck the other man’s knee as they fell. He was pretty sure his favorite pair of jeans might be ripped. But all of that went away the second he met those blue eyes. Then he heard the man’s voice for the first time, low and rough and incredibly repentant.

“Fuck.”

Eddie blinked several times at the one word utterance, trying to decide whether he was incredibly unlucky or just the opposite. He forced himself to look away, brushing the dirt from his jeans as he moved only to grimace at the stinging pain in his hands when he did so.

“Well said,” he muttered.

“I’m really sorry,” the man said. “Fuck, you’re bleeding.”

Eddie noticed the scrape on his knee at the same time, sighing heavily as he shook his head. For the first time, he almost wished for the first-aid kit he carried around almost constantly as a kid. All he could do was ignore the small voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his mother screaming about germs.

“I’ve had worse,” he said.

“Let me help you,” the other man said at the same time.

Their eyes met again and they were caught up in staring once more.

“You’re in the way,” a third voice said.

Their heads turned to catch sight of an impatient woman waiting for them to move. It didn’t take long for them to scramble out of her way and Eddie realized belatedly that the man’s hand was cupping his elbow gently to settle him. They both watched her go, suffering through the dirty look she threw over her shoulder.

“Richie.”

Eddie’s eyes flitted back to the man when he heard that voice again.

“Huh?” he said, frowning a little

“Richie,” the man repeated again, looking torn between amusement and contrition. “That’s my name.”

Eddie swallowed hard and took a deep breath all before answering, fixated on those eyes again.

“Eddie,” he said, a feeling unfurling in his chest like things were finally coming to fruition.

“I live nearby,” Richie said, tossing his hand towards the other end of the street and almost hitting a passerby without realizing. “I probably have some band-aids and shit.”

Eddie sank his teeth into his lower lip to smother a laugh. Then he nodded his head slowly in answer to the question that Richie never actually asked.

“Thanks,” he said.

Richie’s blue eyes lit up and he was leading the way, slowing his longer strides so that Eddie could keep up with him.

Eddie had circled back around to his hands. His big, scarred, ridiculous hands that were so carefully tending to the wounds on Eddie’s hands and knee. He was perched on Richie’s kitchen counter, strangely enough, watching as he dabbed at his skinned palms with a cotton ball full of hydrogen peroxide. Richie’s face was tense with concentration, as if he was terrified of making the wrong move.

“It’s not life-saving surgery, you know,” Eddie said after a few minutes of tense silence. “You can relax.”

Richie paused, looking up at him with round eyes.

“I feel so fucking bad,” he sighed, the tension leeching from his shoulders as he dropped the cotton ball to the counter.

Eddie wrinkled his nose and picked it up, dropping it into the trashcan that sat next to his dangling feet. No one wanted bloody cotton on their kitchen counter.

“You should,” he said in a deadpan voice, looking up at Richie who had suddenly gone very pale at his words. “A cut like the one on my knee can be very serious. We may just have to take the whole leg.”

Richie stared at him for several long moments and Eddie stared right back, willing himself not to break. But then his mouth twitched and his eyes crinkled at the corners. Richie let out the breath he’d been holding and he shook his head, a somewhat fond look passing over his face.

“You almost got me there,” he said, a chuckle making its way out of his lips.

Eddie let out a laugh, ducking his head.

“You’re a little gullible, huh?” he asked, unwrapping the band-aid to put over his knee.

Richie’s hands reached out to stop him before he could unroll his pants leg back down to his ankle. Eddie looked up only to see a warm look reflected in those striking blue eyes.

“I’ve been wanting to hear that,” he said.

Eddie tilted his head to the side questioningly, trying very hard not to react to how well his hands fit in Richie’s larger ones.

“Your laugh,” Richie clarified, sweeping his thumb over Eddie’s knuckles gently. “I, uh… I might have noticed you… before.”

Eddie’s heart fluttered and he unsuccessfully fought the smile that pulled at his lips. The smile received in return was beautiful. Eddie didn’t know how he didn’t notice it before.

“I noticed you too,” Eddie said.

“Fuck,” Richie said for the second time in the last hour. “We probably could’ve chosen a better way to meet then, huh?”

Eddie tugged one hand free from Richie’s, brushing his riotous hair out of his eyes.

“It’s not too bad,” he said with a shrug.

Richie leaned in just a little bit, his eyes filled with just one question. A question that Eddie was all too willing to answer, nodding once. Then they were closing the distance between them, their lips brushing softly. From that moment on, it was hard to keep track of what Eddie noticed about the man with the attention-grabbing hands and wild hair and beautiful eyes. But he definitely fell for him more with each new thing he learned.

And as for Richie, he never stopped loving the way Eddie laughed, especially when he was the one who made it happen.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Divorce

“We’re getting a divorce.”

Eddie didn’t even look up from the book he held, though his concentration faltered for a moment at his husband’s declaration.

“Oh?” he said, trying to regain his spot.

“Yep,” Richie said, popping the ‘p’ as he leaned against the doorway to their living room. “It says so right on TMZ.”

Eddie hummed, his eyes skimming over the words.

“Well they usually hit the nail right on the head,” he said with a shrug of one shoulder. “I guess I should call my lawyer, huh?”

Richie moved, sauntering over to sit on the couch. Eddie simply shifted on the armchair, curling his legs beneath him.

“Fucking go for it,” Richie said, tossing his phone on the couch cushion next to him. “I’m waiting on a call from your mom. I’m sure she can’t wait to hear that I’m open for business again.”

Eddie couldn’t help the huff of amusement that escaped his lips, hating that Richie’s middle school sense of humor could somehow draw a laugh from him even now. Luckily that same sense of humor was part of the reason for the incredibly nice loft in the Upper West Side where they were currently seated, along with Eddie’s relatively lucrative car service company.

“You’re so sure you can get back in the game?” Eddie asked lightly, turning the page.

“Hell fucking yeah,” Richie said confidently, stretching his legs out with one arm dropping over the back of the couch. “I’m practically a DILF.”

Eddie finally looked up from his book, taking in his husband’s five o’clock shadow, wrinkled t-shirt, and ruffled hair.

“You’re not a dad yet,” he reminded Richie.

“We’ll work on that later,” Richie said with a wink.

Eddie shook his head, refusing to smile for that.

“Seriously, Twitter is melting down. There’s a whole trending tag dedicated to our greatest hits,” Richie said, lifting his foot to nudge at Eddie’s leg. “Apparently love is dead.”

With a sigh, Eddie closed the book and set it aside.

“I think I know what we should do,” he said seriously.

“Throw a party?” Richie guessed.

“Couples therapy,” Eddie said, moving from the chair.

Richie leaned back against the couch with a smirk, already anticipating what he would do.

“Really?” he said.

Eddie nodded, climbing onto his lap with his knees digging into the couch on either side of Richie’s thighs.

“That’s what people do,” he said, stroking Richie’s mass of curly hair out of his face.

Richie’s face screwed up in concentration, as if he was thinking long and hard about it when Eddie knew he was really considering whether his hands should make their way to Eddie’s ass. Reaching up, Eddie traced the small line that formed between his eyebrows with the tip of his index finger.

“I might be able to tell you one of the things the therapist would tell us,” Richie said, mirth lighting up his eyes as an idea clearly occurred to him. “Free of charge.”

“What’s that?” Eddie asked, shivering just slightly when Richie’s hand slipped beneath his shirt and his fingertips traced over his hip.

“We need to recapture our intimacy,” Richie said in a proper, nasally voice.

Eddie brushed his thumb over Richie’s bottom lip.

“I think…” he said, heat pooling in his lower belly. “That might be a good idea.”

Richie was off the couch before he could even finish, heading back for their room as a giggling Eddie wrapped his legs around his hips and yelped for Richie not to drop him. A while later, as they relaxed beneath the very expensive sheets on their bed, Richie pulled Eddie’s phone from his discarded pants where they were hanging over the lamp and took a picture of them.

In the next five minutes, thousands of comments and likes popped up on the Instagram post of Richie grinning at the camera as a blushing Eddie hid his face in Richie’s neck, the angle making it clear that they were lying in bed. Then they proceeded to recapture the intimacy three more times over the course of the night, glad to prove to all their neighbors that love was not, in fact, dead.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Belonging

Richie knew he didn’t belong here. Not with his ripped jeans, smoker’s lungs, and general lack of athletic ability. The football field after school was the place for people who participated in all that sporty shit and their equally spirited friends. Not Richie, who sat in the far upper corner with one headphone in his ear and his bony ass digging uncomfortably into the hard metal bench beneath him.

He didn’t belong here.

Yet there he sat, tapping one foot against the row in front of him and occasionally glancing up from chipping the bright polish off of his nails to watch the runners sprint past along the track. His eyes always zeroed in on one particular runner, his shorts shorter than the rest and his legs moving quicker than any of them.

It was somewhat comforting, to know that no matter how many people made fun of Eddie Kaspbrak, he could leave them all in the dust with little effort. Even if no one else in the world appreciated how he shrugged away the shackles of his mother’s delusions to become Derry High’s best track runner, Richie certainly could. After all, he saw it all happen firsthand.

He didn’t belong there.

It wasn’t his world but he would be damned if anyone chased him off. The other Losers tried to get him to participate in some extracurriculars but Richie shrugged them all off for many reasons. He was better off on the sidelines where he could fidget all he wanted and distract his mile a minute thoughts with the large collection of music he had on his phone.

Richie heard the shout of the head track coach calling an end to the practice and shifted only a little where he sat, feigning ignorance and sinking his teeth into his lower lip as he saw the runners dispersing out of the corner of his eye. Most of them jogged off to the field house to shower and change but Richie heard the clang of sneakers on bleachers as one separated away from the others and ascended the metal steps.

He lifted his head just as Eddie reached the top, dropping his hands to his lap and pretending like he wasn’t undoing all of his boyfriend’s careful work from their sleepover this past weekend. Eddie wasn’t fooled for a second, though he didn’t comment as he dropped on the bleachers next to Richie with one leg folded beneath him, his cheeks rosy and his eyes bright as sweat trickled down his temple.

“You really didn’t have to stay,” Eddie said, still trying to catch his breath.

Richie shrugged, tugging the headphone out of his ear and dropping his phone into his open backpack.

“Your mom was all booked up for the afternoon anyway,” he said.

Eddie’s gaze went from slightly eager to scowling in the blink of an eye.

“Fuck off,” he muttered, though he scooted closer to Richie even as he spoke.

Richie simply grinned at him, watching as Eddie drank quickly from a bottle of water, a drop running down his chin as he finished.

“Don’t worry about it for a second, Spaghetti Man,” Richie said, reaching out to brush the drop away. “She knows that the better Kaspbrak always gets priority.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Eddie said with no real heat to his words, rolling his eyes. “Can’t you just flirt normally for once?”

“No can do, Mistah K,” Richie said in an exaggerated accent, dropping his legs to straddle the bench as he faced Eddie fully. “Now howsabout we get on out of here and I show you what it’s really like to work up a sweat?”

Eddie shook his head, looking like he was on the edge of laughing.

“What’d you have in mind?” he asked, all but climbing into Richie’s lap as he scooted closer.

“Oh you know, a little of this and a little of that,” Richie said with a shrug, knowing it didn’t really matter. “Wanna paint this town red, my love?”

Eddie smiled, reaching up to brush a lock of Richie’s unruly hair away from his eyes.

“Whatever you want,” he said, knowing full well they’d end up back at Richie’s house kissing between homework assignments.

One didn’t move before the other. They met in the middle, Richie’s hands falling to Eddie’s hips as Eddie wrapped an arm around Richie’s neck and leaned into him as close as he could get, neither paying any mind to anything that was happening outside of the two of them as they kissed.

To the outside eye, this was not Richie Tozier’s world. He quite simply didn’t belong. But what they didn’t know was that Richie didn’t give a shit because Eddie Kaspbrak was his world and in his arms was exactly where he belonged, the rest of the world be damned.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Spider

Eddie lived in an apartment in the middle of Washington Heights. After a few years of it, there wasn’t a lot that surprised him. Yet he didn’t expect the muffled shriek that he heard as he walked down the hall towards his door. Part of Eddie wondered and even hoped that he was imagining it. He’d had a long shift overnight at the hospital and all he wanted to do was strip out of his scrubs and lay down for a few hours.

But then he heard a loud thump from the other side of the door to his left and sighed heavily, knowing he couldn’t just ignore it. If someone was being murdered or something, he probably had some kind of obligation. So he turned and lifted a hand to knock, already wary of what would greet him when the door opened as he remembered that it belonged to his newest neighbor.

It took a few long moments and a low string of curses from the other side of the door before it swung open to reveal the exact opposite of what Eddie expected.

A man stood there, water soaking his long dark hair and dripping down his very bare chest. One hand was clutching at a towel that was slung low around his slim hips and the other was clutching the door. Blue eyes blinked at him with a mixture of alarm and confusion as Eddie tried his hardest not to trace the path of a droplet from his collarbone down to his abdomen.

“You’re not dying,” Eddie stated, as if it wasn’t obvious.

The man’s eyes darted over Eddie’s face before a grin broke out on his own, lighting up his eyes.

“I can be,” he said, stepping forward to lean against the door way.

Eddie stared at him for a long moment before tilting his head to the side with confusion.

“I mean,” the man said, as if just realizing what he said. “If it brings a really cute, sexy doctor man to my door, I’d be glad to… die… any second now.”

Eddie tried his best not to smile at the sudden switch from flirty to flustered, especially when the man’s cheeks tinged with pink and his eyes squeezed shut out of embarrassment as he started to lift his other hand only to realize that it was still holding his towel. Thus began the scramble of keeping said towel up around his hips and covering all the important parts, nearly sending him crashing into the door frame before he righted himself.

It took a long few moments and more than one deep breath before the man would look up at him again. The situation probably wasn’t helped by the clear fact that Eddie was stifling his laughter, though he would most certainly blame sleep deprivation if he was called out on it. Sinking his teeth into his lower lip, Eddie pulled at the strap of his bag over his shoulder and did his best to keep his eyes up.

“I’m glad you’re not dying,” Eddie said, taking a step back.

“There’s a spider,” the man said quickly, stopping him. “In my shower. I didn’t even know these shits could get that big but there it is. Making a little home right behind my shampoo.”

Eddie pressed his lips together to keep from smiling.

“The audacity,” he managed to say, shaking his head.

“Exactly,” the man said with a firm nod. “I also happen to hate spiders with every fiber of my goddamn being. So…”

“So you ran,” Eddie guessed.

“I ran,” he confirmed.

There was a tired voice in the back of his head that told Eddie to walk the other way and take the nap he so richly deserved. But he also knew a little something about fears that he couldn’t control and luckily for him, spiders wasn’t one of them.

“Step aside, towel man,” he said, moving forward.

“Towel man?” the guy asked.

Eddie dropped his bag by the door and side stepped unpacked boxes and furniture. The apartment had the same layout as his own so it was easy enough to find his way to the bathroom. The water was still running, filling the room with steam. Pushing aside the plain grey curtain, he switched the water off before spotting the arachnid in question.

“I guess I deserve towel man for calling you cute, sexy doctor man,” the guy behind him said, sounding more curious than put off by Eddie’s sudden invasion of his apartment.

“Hand me toilet paper,” Eddie said, holding out his hand without taking his eyes off the spider.

It took a few seconds for a wad of paper to appear there and Eddie didn’t hesitate to reach out and squash the intruder. Turning around, he caught Richie’s eyes just as they snapped up from where he’d been so clearly staring at Eddie’s ass. With a roll of his eyes, Eddie dropped the tissue into the toilet.

“Daddy long legs,” he said, flushing it.

Another grin brightened the man’s face.

“Yes baby?” he responded, almost sounding proud.

Eddie very nearly laughed at that.

“Not you,” he said with a shake of his head. “The spider. They’re harmless.”

“And what about you?” the man asked, looking him up and down. “Are you harmless?”

Eddie moved away from the shower, causing Richie to plant himself against the wall so that he could slip by.

“I guess that you’ll just have to find out,” Eddie said as he turned to the door.

“Richie.”

“Hmm?” Eddie said, looking at him over his shoulder.

“My name is Richie.”

Eddie filed away the name, hoping he’d remember it after he took his long nap. Richie looked at him expectantly, clearly wanting to hear Eddie’s name in return.

“Your towel is slipping again, Richie,” he said.

“Shit!”

Eddie walked back towards the front door, laughing to himself the whole way. He may have been exhausted to the bone but saving his neighbor’s life from a harmless spider was definitely worth it. At the very least it gave him some entertainment. At the most, he’d see Richie again and maybe neither of them would mind if the towel was gone completely.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

New

Eddie stared at the building, unable to shake the intimidated feeling that rose in his chest. His backpack was hugged to his chest and he resisted the urge to chew on his lower lip that already bore the marks of his teeth’s abuse from the past several days. As much as he knew he couldn’t sit there forever, it was hard to make his body move.

“You okay?”

A hand settled on his arm and he inhaled deeply, turning his eyes away from the school and towards his dad. Frank Kaspbrak was a kind-eyed man with a gentle touch and an understanding nature. In every possible way, he was as far from Eddie’s mother as possible. They were still adjusting. It wasn’t easy, especially with all of his mother’s many, horrible words and actions still rattling around in his head.

But they were trying.

So Eddie shrugged one shoulder and held onto his backpack just a little tighter. His eyes darted back to the place that would be his new high school. Several large, brown-bricked buildings full of people he didn’t know. Desks covered in germs and air filled with possible diseases. Eddie fought the need to reach for the hand sanitizer he had zipped into the front pocket of his bag.

“I will be,” Eddie said, doing his best to sound confident.

His dad gave him a small smile, looking even less certain than Eddie felt.

“I don’t… want to hover,” Frank said hesitantly, making it clear that he knew exactly the kind of person his ex-wife turned out to be. “But I’m a phone call away.”

Eddie nodded slowly, still trying to figure out whether he found that reassurance comforting yet.

“Thanks,” he said quietly.

Then he was reaching out with an uncertain hand, knowing that he couldn’t delay the inevitable. He slipped out of the car and inhaled sharply when his feet hit the pavement. They were just on the cusp of spring, with the morning air crisp and sun shining brightly over the green grass and blooming flowers. Eddie blinked against the brightness as he stepped on the sidewalk and slipped his backpack up onto his shoulders.

As he walked, Eddie’s eyes were lowered to the ground for the most part, only darting up to measure how much further he had to go to the doors that seemed so far away. There was activity all around him, students talking and laughing and constantly moving around. Eddie tried his best to block them all out, closing his hands around the straps of his back and focusing on breathing in and out.

Then he heard a loud laugh, delighted and carefree and rising above everything else. Eddie’s head lifted just slightly and turned, his eyes falling on a group not far away. Five boys and a girl, gathered under the shade of a tree with differing expressions on their faces all varying from annoyance to amusement. His steps slowed as he watched them, his eyes mostly falling on the one who laughed.

His hair was dark brown, verging on black and his shirt was an atrocious lime green Hawaiian print. He was lying on an incredibly uncomfortable looking bench, a worn jean jacket thrown across his lap and rips in the knees of his black jeans. He was gesturing wildly about whatever he was saying, making the redhead girl laugh as she leaned into the side of a strong-looking blonde boy.

Eddie didn’t realize that he’d all but stopped, unable to explain the inexplicable draw to watch them, until the loud boy’s eyes darted away from his friends and somehow fixed straight on Eddie. With a small gasp, Eddie turned his head away and picked up his pace again, heading for the door. He didn’t mean to get in anyone’s crosshairs, not when he hadn’t even stepped foot in the high school yet.

“Richie where the hell are you going?” he heard someone call out.

“Don’t worry about it Staniel!”

Eddie’s breathing picked up in his chest and he braced himself as he saw the much taller boy approaching out of the corner of his eye. He was prepared for the worst. Name calling and cruel jokes and even being tripped or shoved because it was all he ever learned to expect at his old school where Henry Bowers ruled all and made Eddie public enemy number one.

Instead, what he got was a breathless “Hey!” as the boy fell into step with him. It was hard for Eddie to even hear it at first. He frowned a little, not slowing for even a second as he gave him a side glance. It was easier now to see his features. Freckles that dotted across his cheeks and nose and bright blue eyes surrounded by sweeping dark lashes. Chapped lips and a scar on his chin along with a black stud earring in his ear.

“What?” Eddie finally said, unable to quite wrap his mind around what was happening.

“I just thought I’d roll out the red carpet for you, buddy, metaphorically speaking,” the boy said in an odd accent, getting a little ahead of Eddie so that he could turn around and face him while walking backwards. “See, I’m the welcoming committee at this here institution and it has been a while since we’ve had any fresh meat as cute as you. Handsome Hanscom over there was our last newbie and that feels like it was about twenty-seven fuckin’ years ago if you know what I mean.”

Eddie blinked, stopping place again as he tried to sort out and make sense of the out pour of words.

“Welcoming committee?” he finally said.

“Oh yeah,” the boy, Richie apparently, said with a nod that made his dark curls bounce around his head. “We take the induction of new kids very seriously around here. It’s my job to make sure that you are feeling as warm and welcome as possible. Anything I can do to facilitate your… needs. Just call on me, baby.”

He punctuated his words by giving Eddie a very slow once-over with his eyes as a grin tugged at his lips. Eddie’s own eyes narrowed, anger rising in his chest that may have not had everything to do with this Richie guy, but that was certainly called forth by him.

“Do you think this is funny?” Eddie demanded, stepping towards him.

The humor on Richie’s face faded just slightly, his eyes widening a little bit.

“Uh…” he trailed off, looking as if he was trying to figure out the right answer.

“I’m not interested in letting you turn me into the school joke on my first day, thank you very much,” Eddie said brusquely, already moving forward to sweep past him. “Fuck off back to your friends and stay away from me.”

It probably wasn’t the best reaction he could have had. Eddie could have handled the entire situation with far more grace and politeness than he did. But the anger that bubbled up in his chest just made him see red, which he now regretted, cursing his words and actions with every step he took. But he didn’t look back, pulling open the door and stepping inside of the school while inwardly hoping that he never had to come across that boy again.

*

It didn’t take long for his hopes to fall flat. Eddie made it through two full classes before finding his way to the third and walking in only to find himself face-to-face with Richie. Well, not quite that dramatically. But he was certainly sitting in the middle row next to the window with a pencil tucked behind his ear and his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he scribbled out something into a shabby-looking notebook.

Eddie drew up short, inwardly cursing up a storm as he took a deep breath and tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter. He was really unconvincing. He heard someone complaining about blocking the door behind him and quickly moved, walking to the teacher’s desk slowly as if he was being led to his death. It was only a matter of time before he got noticed. His cheeks were already warming at the idea of it.

“Can I help you?” the teacher asked.

Eddie swallowed hard and nodded, shoving his neatly folded piece of paper towards the older man.

“I’m Eddie Kaspbrak,” he said quietly.

“Ah yes,” the teacher said, peering through his small reading glasses at the paper that introduced him as a new student. “I heard I’d be getting you in here. Wait a minute until everyone gets seated and we’ll find a place for you, okay?”

“Okay,” Eddie said, stepping to the side of the desk so that he wouldn’t be in the way.

He kept his eyes lowered to his folded hands as he bit down on the inside of his cheek.

“Nice shirt, Tozier,” he heard someone said with a snicker in his voice. “I think my grandpa might have it too.”

“Good one,” a familiar voice shot back, sounding utterly unconcerned. “You know, I think I heard you practicing it in the mirror when I snuck in through your mom’s window for a nice long fu-”

“Boys,” the teacher said, interrupting them as Eddie’s eyes widened.

He, along with every other person in the room, was easily able parse out what Richie was about to say.

“Sorry Mr. T,” Richie said as a few quiet giggles rose up around him, his voice making it clear he was smiling.

Eddie risked a glance up only to see that those blue eyes were fixed on him already. He looked away, focusing on the pattern of the teacher’s desk as if it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.

“Take your pick, Mr. Kaspbrak,” the teacher said, gesturing his hand over the classroom while looking down at an attendance book.

Eddie peeked up and swept his eyes over the seats. There were three spare ones. One in the back corner beside the trash can. There was no way in hell that Eddie was going anywhere near that. Another was next to a beefy looking guy with a Letterman jacket and intent in his small, beady eyes. Eddie didn’t know for sure what that intent was but he wasn’t willing to find out.

That left the last one as his best option. The one that was by the window, next to last row, right behind Richie Tozier. Eddie stared at it for a long moment, knowing that he had little choice otherwise. So he moved forward, slipping his backpack from his shoulders as he went. As he drew closer, he saw that even bent, Richie’s legs were too long for the desk and sticking out of either side as he had them splayed out.

Eddie turned to the side to keep from brushing his knee, feeling Richie’s eyes on his face but refusing to look back. He took the seat with a hard swallow, setting his backpack next to his desk after curling one leg beneath him. He unzipped his bag and pulled out a notebook and pencil, feeling strangely jittery as he did it all. The teacher started going through attendance, calling out first names in a bored tone.

It wasn’t until he saw Richie turning around, clearly intending to face him, that Eddie’s heart jumped in his chest and his breath caught in his throat. He didn’t want to be confronted with his biting response from before. He just wanted to forget all about it. He lifted his eyes to meet Richie’s when he finally faced him, preparing for the worst. But then, when the other boy barely managed to open his mouth, someone else spoke nearby.

“Richie.”

Both Eddie and Richie looked to their right, to a boy with angular cheekbones, clear skin, golden brown curly hair, and a stern look in his eyes. He looked at Richie, shaking his head once. Eddie glanced between the two, watching a silent conversation pass between them. Then Richie was turning around again with a huff, muttering something underneath his breath that Eddie couldn’t hear.

He looked to the boy who interrupted and saw both curiosity and uncertainty in his eyes as he stared right back at Eddie. With a small, polite smile, he turned to look at the front of the classroom, leaving Eddie to consider the whole strange interaction until he heard the sound of his name being called for attendance, uttering a quiet “here” before sitting back in his seat and praying for the class to go quickly.

*

The rest of the day went quickly, much to Eddie’s relief. He only had Richie in two more of his classes and managed to avoid him in both. He recognized his friends too, both from seeing them outside that morning and from the curious looks they shot his way, even more than the rest of the school. Eddie avoided all of them too, eating alone beneath a tree outside and moving through the halls quickly.

It wasn’t until the end of the school day that it all came to a head. He was headed down the sidewalk, mapping his journey in his mind since he had to meet his dad at his shop instead of being picked up. He went over it several times with his father, not wanting to get lost in the town on his first day. He was so lost in his mind that stopped short and nearly tripped when a skateboard rolled into his path, his eyes darting up from the ground just as someone spoke.

“If it isn’t the new kid.”

Eddie recognized the voice as the boy who taunted Richie in third period. His instinctively reached towards his pocket as he watched the blonde-haired boy with cold grey eyes walk into his path, kicking the skateboard up into his hand. His inhaler wasn’t there. Eddie made himself stop carrying it around, even going so far as to throw it away before moving into his dad’s house.

His tongue felt like it was glued to the roof of his mouth as a few other boys lingered nearby, all grinning at whatever they anticipated would happen. Eddie’s eyes darted up to the school with uncertainty, wondering if the staff here cared very little for the safety of his students just like at his last school. His eyes flitted back to the person in his path, wondering if he would stop Eddie if he just tried to walk away.

“That’s a pretty fruity shirt, don’t you think?” the boy asked, smirking as his friends all laughed.

Eddie didn’t feel insulted by the dig at his shirt. The color of his clothes wasn’t going to change anything about him. Wearing pink didn’t make him gay. Wanting to kiss boys made him gay, which in turn caused his mother’s ultimate breakdown that had the neighbors calling the cops which lead to a judge handing full custody over to his dad. Eddie felt his retort rising to his lips before he could help it, his anger taking over again.

“You seem really concerned about what other people wear,” Eddie said, tilting his head to the side. “Are you interested in the fashion industry?”

The boy seemed to glitch at that, his eyes darting all over Eddie’s face.

“What the fuck are you trying to say?” he demanded after a few seconds.

Eddie didn’t say anything, sighing inwardly at his own inability to keep himself under control. But before either of them could do anything else, someone stepped up next to him.

“Oh Austin Austin Austin,” Richie Tozier of all people said, shaking his head. “I know you’ve probably gone partially deaf from hearing your old lady scream my name night after night but I believe the young lad here was suggesting that you have a curious interest in the things that other men wear. Is it true, sir?”

He held his hand out as if he was holding a news microphone even though there was nothing there. Austin didn’t hesitate to slap his hand away, stepping forward with fury in his eyes.

“You just hoping you finally found a pillow princess to hop on your dick, Tozier?” the seething boy demanded.

Eddie gritted his teeth, his hands curling into fists.

“You mean you’re not volunteering?” Richie asked without missing a beat, pouting slightly. “I thought we really had something going, sweetheart.”

“In your fucking dreams,” Austin said, shoving Richie.

Eddie moved with him as he stumbled backwards, not really knowing why he did it. He just felt the same pull from before, trying to keep him close to Richie and far away from the obvious bully.

“Hey,” a strong, warm voice came from behind them.

Both Eddie and Richie turned their heads in time to see a boy their age with dark skin and hair and a concerned expression on his face step up behind them. One hand rose to clasp at Richie’s shoulder and for a second, Eddie was afraid that he was another bully. Then he was moving between them, staring Austin down as he exuded a calm, collected aura that was entirely unlike Richie’s chaotic energy and Eddie’s own quick temper.

“I think it’s time we all walk away,” the boy said.

He was much taller than Austin and looked as though he could easily toss him several yards if he wanted to. Eddie wasn’t surprised when Austin stepped away, narrowing his eyes at all three of them.

“You fairies got lucky today,” he said, making it clear that he was talking to Eddie and Richie alone.

Then he and his friends were wandering off, sauntering away to clearly try and safe face like they didn’t all flee at the sight of the bigger boy. Richie let out a heavy sigh as Eddie stepped away from the both of them, uncertain as to what he was supposed to do now.

“You’re a goddamn hero, Mikey-Mike,” Richie said, bumping fists with the boy that Eddie didn’t know. “I think he was about to eat us for dinner.”

“Maybe if you’d stop baiting him with jokes about his mom,” Mike said with a smile and a shake of his head.

“Nonsense,” Richie declared dramatically. “You can’t stop our love.”

Then his eyes moved to Eddie as Mike stepped away. Eddie shifted in place with uncertainty, wishing that he’d moved a little faster to avoid the whole situation with Austin and now with Richie. To be fair, the other boy looked just as uncertain as he felt.

“Thank you,” Eddie finally said.

Not because he needed the help or he couldn’t handle himself. He probably could have figured a way out. But after a lifetime of dealing with a lot on his own, it was surprisingly nice for someone to have his back. Eddie didn’t really know how to react to it. All that he knew was that he might have judged Richie Tozier entirely wrong.

“Ain’t no big thing, cutie,” Richie said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

Eddie’s cheeks filled with color and he shook his head, looking away from Richie. He knew that he should get going. It wasn’t a far walk and his dad would worry if he didn’t show up soon. But still he stood there, staring at Richie as Richie stared back.

“I’m Eddie,” he finally said, reaching out his hand. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Richie Tozier,” Richie said in yet another strange voice that Eddie couldn’t quite place. “The man with a plan and a short term memory. Don’t you think on it for a second.”

He punctuated his words with a wink and Eddie tried his best not to smile.

“What’s your plan?” he asked.

“Ask me when you’re older and I may tell you,” Richie said mysteriously.

He was frustrating. Eddie was rapidly coming to understand that. But he almost didn’t mind it.

“Goodbye, Richie Tozier,” Eddie said, already turning to walk away.

“Short and sweet, I like it,” Richie decided. “See you later, Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie stopped short, turning his head as his face darkened.

“Never call me that again,” he said in a low voice.

Richie’s face brightened and his eyes gleamed with mischief. Eddie was almost certain that he’d be hearing it again.

“The cutest,” Richie said with a shake of his head, grinning at him before turning away to walk down the sidewalk towards where his friends were waiting.

Eddie began his walk towards the auto garage that his father owned, ruminating over the odd interaction and wondering if he might have just found a friend in the very odd boy. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he wouldn’t really mind being friends with Richie. By the time he reached the garage, there was a smile on his lips and Eddie found himself almost looking forward to school the next day.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Quarry

Richie knew that he wasn’t alone. He could feel the weight of eyes on his back as he sat there, one leg dangling over the cliff and a cigarette pinched between two fingers with his thumb rubbing absentmindedly over the filter. As he heard the crunch of gravel beneath feet, Richie kept his eyes tilted down towards the glittering water below. Water that he’d jump into without hesitation more times than he could count.

His tongue darted out, wetting his lips as the other boy sat beside him. It wasn’t easy to make out much in the darkness, with only the moon for light, but Richie didn’t even have to look to know that it was Eddie. He saw him shiver out of the corner of his eye and stuck the cigarette between his lips before tugging his jacket off of his shoulders.

Eddie let out a protesting noise but Richie handed it over anyway, glancing over at him in time to see the indecision play across his face before he took the jacket and slipped his arms into the sleeves. It was too big on Richie already so Eddie didn’t have a chance. It swallowed him up and made him look even cuter than usual. Despite his dark mood, Richie couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked, looking at him with worry in his eyes.

Richie didn’t answer right away, taking a drag before flicking away the ashes. He blew the smoke out, letting it linger in the air before tossing the cigarette over the cliff and down into the water.

“Never better, Spaghetti Man,” he said with a shrug, pulling out a piece of gum to pop in his mouth instead of the cigarette. “Sorry if your mom was bitchy tonight. I skipped our date so she’s missing out on that good Tozier lovin’.”

Eddie let out a huffing sigh, shaking his head.

“Fuck all the way off,” he said, picking at the grass that sprouted from the ground next to them. “You know what I mean.”

Richie exhaled slowly, reaching up to run his fingers through his already messy hair as he tilted his head towards the sky.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he said dismissively.

“Then why haven’t you gone home?” Eddie countered, not buying his bullshit for a second. “It’s the first place I went. And the fourth and the ninth. You haven’t been there since school let out.”

Richie swallowed hard, wishing he hadn’t been so hasty to let his cigarette fall even though he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did it for Eddie. He could have really used the distraction.

“Mags and Went already know,” he said, rubbing his palm over his jean-clad knee. “It’s not about that.”

Eddie didn’t say anything but Richie could feel his eyes on the side of his face, waiting for him to say more. But for a person who usually had no trouble finding words, Richie had no idea what to say. He didn’t know what Eddie wanted to hear from him. What would anyone say? Being forcibly outed as bisexual to their entire high school by one of his biggest tormenters wasn’t exactly on Richie’s list of senior year dreams.

“I’m not fucking embarrassed or anything,” Richie said, shaking his head. “It’s who I am and nobody in this shitty town is gonna hear me apologize for it. I just…”

“You wanted it to be on your own terms,” Eddie said when Richie trailed off.

He nodded slowly, looking over at his best friend.

“The other losers… they aren’t, uh… they don’t think…” Richie let his words fade into nothingness again, shrugging as he turned away.

He didn’t want to say the word that he heard whispered in the hallways again an again.

Disgusting.

“They just wanna be here for you,” Eddie said, reaching out as if to touch Richie but his hand faltered and fell back to his lap. “We all do.”

Richie heard the unspoken words in his tone. Knew that Eddie had no idea how to help him. There was a crease between his brows and he was worrying at his lower lip, his eyes darting over Richie’s face.

“You’re gonna give yourself a fucking stroke or something, Eds,” Richie said, fighting the urge to reach out with his thumb and smooth the crease. “You don’t gotta worry about me that much.”

The slight narrowing of Eddie’s eyes told Richie that he definitely disagreed with that statement. It was part of the reason why Richie loved him. Yeah, that’s right. He loved Eddie Kaspbrak with everything that he had. At least Bowers didn’t have that little piece of information to reveal to the entire school or Richie probably would have gone much further than the damn quarry.

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie finally said, the words lacking any heat or authenticity.

Richie simply smiled at him, watching as he folded his fingers over the sleeves of the jacket that fell well beyond his wrists.

“You’ve been trying for years,” Richie said, looking away from him before the rising warmth in his chest made him say or do something really stupid. “You’d think you would learn by now.”

Eddie scoffed and knocked his shoulder against Richie’s, shaking his head.

“Can we get out of here now?” Eddie asked, looking around. “This place is fucking creepy at night.”

Richie was shifting to his feet before he even finished, holding his hand out to help Eddie up too. Eddie’s foot slipped over a smooth rock and he gasped, stumbling a little only to be caught by Richie’s hand on his elbow.

“Sure you’re not trying to go cliff diving?” he asked with a slight smile.

Eddie let out a quiet laugh and shook his head, looking up at Richie.

“Wouldn’t have to worry about going over the edge if your dramatic ass didn’t make me come all the way out here.”

“I’m a man with simple desires, my love,” Richie said, tossing an arm over his shoulders to guide him away from the cliff. “I like to be pursued, ya know?”

There was a beat of silence between them before Eddie reached out, curling his fingers into Richie’s t-shirt and stopping them both in place. Eddie moved as Richie’s arm fell from around his shoulders, standing in front of him to look up into his eyes. There was something in his gaze, a wary intent that had Richie’s heart picking up pace in his chest.

“You’re-” Eddie’s voice broke on the word and he took a deep breath, shaking his head as if to ward off some thought lingering in his mind. “You’re not the only one, Rich.”

It took a long, loaded second for Richie to catch on his meaning. His breath caught in his throat as he stared down at Eddie.

“If it wasn’t for my mom, I don’t think I’d care who knew. One day I’ll… I’ll say it. I won’t be scared anymore.”

Richie swallowed hard, accidentally swallowing his gum as he reached up, tugging at the collar of his own jacket where it slipped down Eddie’s shoulder. Then Richie brushed his thumb over his collarbone and caught on the gasp that slipped from Eddie’s lips.

“Eds,” Richie said, breathing out the word.

He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t have to figure it out. Only the slightest movement brought his face closer to Eddie’s. Richie hovered where he was, feeling terrified and exhilarated all at once. Part of him wondered if he read the signs wrong. If maybe he was reading more into it because of how he felt. But then Eddie held his shirt more firmly and pushed up on his toes.

That was all that it took.

Richie grew as still as possible at the first brush of Eddie’s soft lips over his. He reached up after a moment, gently cupping Eddie’s face in his hands before leaning in, kissing him back just as softly. It was almost indescribable. There were few things in the world that Richie would really count as perfect.

The feeling of comfort and elation when he listened to his favorite song. The taste of chocolate when he was really craving it. His mother’s laughter floating through the house on a warm summer day. But every single one of those things paled in comparison to how he felt right now. Pulling away, he took in a slow, shaky breath and let his eyes stay closed.

“Fuck, please tell me this is real,” Richie whispered, sounding far more vulnerable than he meant to.

Instead of answering him aloud, Eddie simply leaned in to press another. more firm kiss to his lips. It was all that Richie needed. He was still scared to go back to school and part of him, in spite of his words, was afraid of what the world would think of him. But right here and now, surrounded by darkness and consumed by the boy he loved, everything was perfect.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Freedom

College was nothing like Eddie anticipated.

Most of the information he had beforehand came from either his mother, who wanted him to fear the world enough to stay with her, or movies, which often made it look like one long, endless party. Neither of those sources prepared him for the truth of it.

College was incredible and yet sometimes boringly normal. It was different. There was no denying that. He’d never experienced something quite like dorm living and he learned quickly that free food was one of the most valuable things in life right now.

College was freedom.

It was liberating in a way he couldn’t possibly understand until he lived it.

Between all of the evenings in dorms, early morning classes, and long hours spent reading, there were coffee shop afternoons and late nights laughing with friends. There was time spent trying to find the perfect place on campus to stretch out in the shade for fresh air. There was cheap takeout food and swapping notes and complaining about shitty professors. There were cramped with cheap beer and loud music.

There was Richie Tozier, pressing him back against the wall in the dark hallway of a frat house where neither of them belonged, his dark curls falling in his eyes as his fingers cupped Eddie’s chin lightly, tilting his head up to capture his lips in a gentle kiss. His other hand closed around Eddie’s hip, his tongue tracing over the seam of his lips.

Liberating.

How he arched into the kiss, tasting the remnants of rum and Coke on Richie’s tongue.

Unrelenting.

How Richie surrounded him and consumed him.

Intoxicating.

How they came together so close that the world all but disappeared, leaving just the two of them.

Endless.

Until Richie broke away, letting out a harsh sigh before pressing his forehead carefully to Eddie’s. They breathed each other in, still deaf to the thumping music and distant yells of drunken college students. Eddie knew that he could be anything here. In this hallway. On this campus. In Richie’s arms. He curled his fingers into Richie’s ridiculous, bright shirt and let himself live this moment. He didn’t want to break the spell, but he should have known that Richie would see it differently.

“Come with me,” Richie said, his voice barely above a whisper.

It was the same thing every time. He would ask. Eddie would refuse. It wasn’t because he didn’t like Richie. He liked him more than he should. More than he’d ever liked anyone. It was as terrifying as it was liberating. He’d heard his mother’s toxic words, spitting untruths about sickness and filth. Even now they were trapped in his mind, though he knew better.

But he was tired of running.

He wanted to surrender himself and so he did. For the first time, he didn’t duck out of Richie’s arms. He didn’t walk away. Eddie brought Richie down for another kiss, feeling like he was on the edge of a freefall waiting for something to push him over. The feeling of Richie’s lips on his, of his warm hands on his hips, of his tangled hair catching on his fingers. It was all enough.

Eddie was falling.

And he had no desire to stop.

“Where?” he asked just as quietly, pulling away just enough to look Richie in the eyes.

The wide, bright smile he received was all that he needed. Eddie knew this was right. How could it not be when Richie looked at him like that? He didn’t falter when Richie took his hand and tugged him forward, leading him through the unfamiliar house and out into the cool night air.

Falling in love was nothing like Eddie anticipated.

And he had no intention of looking back.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Roommates

Richie Tozier snuck up on him.

Eddie didn’t see him coming. Even when they were paired in a dorm together in freshman year, he saw Richie as someone to put up with until better things would come. But it didn’t take long for Eddie to learn that there wasn’t much that was better than Richie. Richie, who would do whatever he could to make people laugh. Who, beneath all of the innuendos and numerous accents, was deeply insecure.

Who would do what he could to make others feel good about themselves even if he didn’t feel the same himself. Looking back, Eddie knew that he was bound to fall. Every time he saw Richie’s bright blue eyes light up when Eddie laughed at one of his jokes, Eddie knew by the warm feeling in his chest that he was already in deep.

When they decided to keep living together after they outgrew the dorms, in a small intimate apartment a few miles away from their college, it only got worse. And as the tension between them grew thicker with each passing day, it was only a matter of time before they gave in. That was how he found himself here, straddling Richie’s lap on their secondhand couch.

Eddie’s hands were buried in those thick dark curls, his lips pressed to the mouth that never seemed to have a shortage of words unless they were like this. Pressed close, bodies entwined, hitching breaths filling the air. Their clothes were scatted all over the room, tossed away in their desperate need to get closer to one another.

“Richie,” Eddie whined against as Richie thrust up into him. “Please, I need… I need…”

He tugged at Richie’s hair, drawing a rough moan from his lips as Richie’s hips surged upwards, filling him with a deep thrust.

“Fuck, Eds,” Richie said, his voice strangled.

Eddie rocked his hips, meeting Richie’s thrusts with his lower lip caught between his teeth. He didn’t relinquish his grip on Richie’s hair, knowing that it would only spur him on.

“Fuck me harder,” Eddie gritted out, meeting Richie’s hot gaze that stoked the fire burning beneath his skin. “Make me feel it, Rich. I want all you can give me.”

Richie gripped his hips tight, fucking up in him hard and fast as Eddie’s moans and whimpers filled the air, mingling with Richie’s grunts and quiet curses. Another sharp yank of his hair pulled Richie’s head back, allowing Eddie to kiss and nip at his throat.

“Eddie, baby,” Richie said, his voice shaky as he pushed up to sit.

His hands lifted, cupping Eddie’s cheeks. He kissed him softly as Eddie rocked against him, taking Richie deep with every movement of his hips. It ended like this every time, intimate and gentle, almost loving. It was the best part, and the most terrifying. Eddie never knew what it meant but he couldn’t resist falling into it.

Throwing his arms around Richie’s shoulders, Eddie kissed him with the same slow, unhurried movements. One of Richie’s hands snuck between them, wrapping around his cock and stroking at him quickly. Eddie moaned against his lips, heat pooling in his lower belly as he grinded and rocked desperately, feeling close to the edge.

Richie nudged him back, hitching one of Eddie’s legs high on his hip as soon as his back hit the couch. His pace grew just as desperate, hard and fast with no sign of relenting. Eddie tossed his head back and cried out Richie’s name. It didn’t take long for the pleasure to overtake him, Richie’s hand still stroking his cock as Eddie arched his back and spilled out over his stomach.

His hand shot up, gripping at Richie’s hair again and drawing a loud curse from his lips. Eddie didn’t relent, staring up at Richie to watch the play of emotions over his face. Even with the overstimulation shaking his body, he couldn’t help but spur Richie on, wanting to see him fall apart. It didn’t take long for him to tip over the edge.

Richie dropped, just like he always did, his face pressing into the side of Eddie’s neck as he grew still inside of him. Their heavy breaths filled the room and it wouldn’t be long before they separated, too hot and sweaty to be close for long. But for now, they remained just like this. Eddie stroked his hands up and down Richie’s back and through his hair. When his finger caught on a tangle, Richie let out a groan at the tug and pinched Eddie’s side lightly.

“Not yet, Eds,” he murmured. “Gotta recover.”

“It was an accident,” Eddie said with a shake of his head.

They still didn’t move, soaking up the aftermath. The same thoughts filtered through Eddie’s head as always. The uncertainty and the slightest bit of fear. After a long few minutes, the words rose to his lips and Eddie knew he wouldn’t be able to swallow them down this time.

“What are we doing?”

Richie didn’t move or even say anything. Eddie thought he might be asleep until he let out a soft sigh.

“I don’t know,” he said.

It was the truth. Richie didn’t know and neither did Eddie. It didn’t seem to matter before. But it was different lately. The emotions were intense. Harder to push aside or laugh off. Eddie just hoped that they wouldn’t fall apart when it became impossible to ignore.

Richie Tozier snuck up on him.

And now Eddie knew for sure that he didn’t want to know a life without him.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Alone

Eddie watched as Richie climbed through the window, his lower lip caught between his teeth. He’d been pacing for what felt like hours, unable to keep still while thoughts whirled through his head. Eddie would usually greet Richie warmly when he showed up like this. Tonight, he couldn’t bring himself to be close to him. Not if he had to say goodbye.

“Hey,” Richie said, grinning at Eddie even with the concern that was clear in his eyes. “I got your text and came a-running. What’s up?”

A sigh passed through Eddie’s lips and he stopped, his body feeling shaky as he let himself grow still.

“My-my mom knows,” Eddie said, finally saying the words.

He spoke quietly, not wanting to wake her. Not when he only heard her settle in her room less than an hour ago. It was only then that he dared to even message Richie. He saw the panic flash through Richie’s eyes and didn’t bother to comfort him. There was nothing that Eddie could say. It was just as bad as Richie suspected.

“What happened?” Richie asked, his voice quiet and gentle as he slowly walked closer to Eddie. “Are you okay?”

Eddie shook his head, a humorless laugh slipping out before he could help it.

“I think my mom knows about us.”

Richie’s frown grew deeper as he drew up short.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“She hasn’t talked to me and she made me stay in my room all night but I heard her on the phone. Talking to my aunts, making plans. She wants to move out of Derry.”

Richie shook his head, reaching out to him.

“We’re not going to let that happen,” Richie assured him.

“How are we going to stop it?” Eddie demanded quietly, his voice barely above a whisper as he stepped out of Richie’s reach. “I’m barely eighteen. I barely have any money and I-I have nowhere else to go.”

He sank down onto his bed, the realization crushing him as he let himself accept it. There was nothing that he could do. If his mother wanted to take him away, Eddie was powerless to stop it. Just like he was powerless against her manipulations when he was young. Just like he let her isolate and trick him. It was only because of Richie and their friends that Eddie got through it.

Now he would be alone.

There would be no one else to help him. No one to be there for him once his mother took him away. Eddie would have nothing and that’s exactly what she wanted. His breathing picked up as the thoughts passed through his head, one after another. Eddie gripped at the covers on his bed and squeezed his eyes shut, his breaths coming out in short bursts.

Then there were hands on his cheeks, turning his head gently as a voice rose up past the roaring in his ears. Eddie tried to focus only to realize that his vision was blurred by the tears stinging at his eyes. He trembled as Richie pressed kisses to his lips and his forehead, murmuring out reassurances that Eddie couldn’t quite hear.

“I’m going to be alone,” Eddie choked out, letting his head fall to Richie’s shoulder. “I-I won’t have… I won’t have anyone.”

“No.”

Richie’s voice finally broke through, the strength in the one word rocking Eddie to the core. He grasped at that strength, hoping it might give him the will to get through this.

“You will never be alone,” Richie said, pulling Eddie’s head up to look into his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

Eddie shuddered and whimpered, tears still coursing down his cheeks.

“How?” he asked simply.

Richie swept his tears away with tender swipes of his thumbs, tilting Eddie’s chin up.

“You’re eighteen. She can’t make you stay,” he reminded Eddie.

“I have nowhere to go,” Eddie said.

One of Richie’s eyebrows quirked upwards.

“Says who?”

Eddie realized what he was saying and started to shake his head. But Richie anticipated it and stilled him, stroking his cheek.

“You gotta trust me, Eds,” Richie said reassuringly. “You still do, right?”

It wasn’t even a question. Eddie nodded slowly and leaned his face into Richie’s touch.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “I’m just so scared, Rich.”

“I know,” Richie said, pulling Eddie into a hug.

They stayed like that for a long few minutes. Eddie let himself relax more and more into Richie’s embrace until he felt drained of energy.

“We gotta get out of here, baby,” Richie murmured in his ear.

Eddie nodded, knowing that he was right. How knew when his mother planned to get him out of Derry? Especially if she suspected that he would seek help. Little did she know that he already turned to the one person Eddie knew he could depend on the most.

“I need to pack a bag,” he said, pulling away.

Richie nodded, looking more serious than Eddie had ever seen him.

“Tell me what I can do.”

Eddie stared at him for a long moment before reaching up, pressing his own palm over Richie’s cheek.

“Just… stay with me,” he said.

A smile broke out on Richie’s face and it filled Eddie with more comfort than he could even describe.

“As long as you’ll have me, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie said.

Eddie shook his head before letting out a soft laugh, far more genuine than the one before. He pressed a soft kiss to Richie’s lips before standing up, retrieving an empty duffle bag from his closet. Ten minutes later, they were both carefully climbing out of Eddie’s window. Richie held his backpack while Eddie had his duffle. It didn’t take long for their feet to touch the ground and they took off towards Richie’s house, hand in hand.

The next morning, Eddie called his frantic mother while sitting on the Toziers’ couch, Richie on one side and his mother on the other. With Richie’s hand in his and Maggie’s on his shoulder, as well as Wentworth’s reassuring expression where he sat on the couch, Eddie knew that he could get through this. He didn’t have to be scared, because he wasn’t alone after all.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Dreamcatcher

“How many times have I told you not to do it?”

Eddie kept his eyes lowered to the ground, his body trembling as she loomed over him.

“It’s not normal, sweetheart. You need to listen to your mother. I do all of this for you. So that no one will know what you are.”

His shoulders slumped even more at her words, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“I didn’t mean to, Mama,” he said quietly.

She heaved out a sigh.

“What have I said about lying, Eddie Bear?”

He bit down hard on his lower lip and didn’t answer for several long moments. Her fingers snapped next to his head and Eddie flinched at the sound, knowing she wouldn’t let him get away with it.

“You said-” he muttered quietly. “You said you can’t… you can’t fix me if I lie.”

“That’s right,” Sonia said.

Eddie knew that she was nodding her head even if he couldn’t see it.

“Now you stay here and think about what you did. I’ll come back for you in the morning.”

Eddie’s head snapped up when he heard her footsteps retreating to the door.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Mama please.”

She turned, fixing him with a stern look.

“I do it for you,” his mother repeated.

A meaty hand closed around his doorknob and she started to pull the door closed. Eddie lunged off of the bed but he was too late.

“No! No!” he cried out, his small hands slamming down on the door. “Please don’t! I’ll be good! Mama please! I won’t do it again!”

It was to no avail. Eddie heard the lock click into place. Tears streamed down his face as he begged and wailed for her to let him out. The last time, he was locked in his room for three days. That was just for taking care of a neighborhood dog. This was much worse. Eddie found his friend bleeding in an alley, care of Henry Bowers, and made him better. Now he was trapped.

“Hey Spaghetti Man.”

The voice rose up behind him and Eddie froze, taking in a deep breath before turning around. He was standing there, by the window. Tall and skinny with a mop of curly hair and smiling eyes behind thick glasses. He held his hand out but otherwise didn’t move. He simply waited for Eddie to come closer.

“It’s okay, Eds,” Richie said, nodding at him. “I’ll get you out of here.”

Eddie stood slowly, his breaths coming out in short bursts.

“She locked me in here again,” he said in a quiet voice.

“It’s just a dream, Eds. You know that,” Richie told him.

Eddie took a slow step forward, then another and another until his hand was slipping into Richie’s.

“Close your eyes, baby,” Richie murmured. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

He did it without hesitation, feeling the coldness of the room disappear. For just a moment, he was weightless, floating in midair. The feeling of Richie’s hand in his never faded, even as he felt himself suddenly falling. Then it was over.

Eddie let out a light gasp, his heart leaping in his chest as he was torn from sleep. Sometimes it happened more gracefully. When he had nightmares, he woke suddenly. But every time, there was always that reassuring grip on his hand, letting him know that he wasn’t alone with it. Eddie slowly blinked his eyes open, the ceiling of the bedroom coming into view.

“There you are.”

He turned his head, meeting the bright blue gaze of the person who had been in his life for as long as he could remember. Eddie let Richie guide him up to sit, squeezing his hand lightly and taking a deep breath.

“It was bad this time,” Richie said, his other hand coming up to brush his thumb over Eddie’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

Eddie nodded slowly before leaning his face into Richie’s touch. Then he noticed that his lip was split and his cheek was already bruising.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, already reaching up as a frown took over his face.

Richie simply grinned at him before wincing when the movement tugged at his lip.

“Bev and I swindled some assholes out of their money at a bar,” he said, looking proud. “I think they might have figured out our game.”

Eddie sighed heavily, pressing his palm to Richie’s cheek. It didn’t take long or even a lot of energy to heal the superficial wounds before dropping his hand.

“You don’t need to do that,” Eddie said.

“We can always use the money,” Richie said, leaning in to brush a soft kiss over his lips in thanks.

Eddie curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt, holding him there to kiss him deeper. Then he pulled away, taking a deep breath.

“You need to be careful,” he said, holding Richie’s gaze. “I can’t lose you.”

Richie nodded his head slowly before touching their foreheads together.

“I know, baby.”

He didn’t promise that Eddie wouldn’t lose him. They tried not to do that. Not in the life they lived. But for now, they had each other. And that was enough.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Cold

“You’re so obvious that it’s causing me physical pain.”

Richie’s eyes snapped forward, away from the adorable waiter that he’d been admiring and to his best friend, who was currently manning the bar. It was one of the only places in Derry worth actually visiting on a Saturday night, and the only one friendly to people who didn’t conform to a completely heterosexual lifestyle. For Richie, it became even more so the day Eddie Kaspbrak moved into town and took a job there.

“Maybe you’re just jealous, Stanley,” Richie said, reaching out to grab a mouthful of bar nuts, popping them in before speaking. “This sexy train is leaving the station and you’re losing your chance to get all up on it.”

Stan stared at him with disgust as he spoke with his mouthful of nuts and gestured over his entire body.

“You’re right,” he said in a deadpan. “Whatever will I do?”

Richie winked at him before turning his head slightly to the side to watch as Eddie crossed the room to close out a tab at the other end of the bar. He knew that his gaze shifted from teasing to wanting as he looked at Eddie. Stan scoffed, shaking his head as he snatched Richie’s half empty bottle of beer away from him, ignoring the protests that rose to his lips as he turned away from Eddie yet again.

“He’s not closing,” Stan said, fixing him with a look. “Offer to walk him home or I’m banning you from this bar for life.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Richie said dismissively.

Though Stan was his best friend, and he knew that there was love beneath all the squinting looks and glaring frowns, Richie knew by the look in his eye that he would definitely dare.

“Maybe you would,” he amended.

“You’re damn right I would,” Stan said with a firm nod. “Don’t come back until you have his number in your phone.”

Richie huffed, turning his head in time to see Eddie untie the apron from around his waist to hang it up behind the bar.

“What the fuck do I say?” he muttered.

Stan heaved out a great sigh, turning away from him with a shake of his head.

“Hey Eddie,” he called out.

The brunette man looked around from where he was headed to the back to gather his belongings. His eyes were round with a questioning look and his lips were parted just slightly in surprise at being called out to.

“Richie’s being a pain in my ass. Mind taking him off my hands for a walk? You can leave him outside your building if you want. He’ll sniff his way home.”

Though he somewhat resented being described as no different than a particularly persistent dog, Richie couldn’t help but feel a little skip in his heart when Eddie’s eyes flitted to him and his cheeks warmed just a little bit.

“Yeah, okay,” he said with a slow, confused nod. “I guess I wouldn’t mind the company.”

Richie watched him slowly turn around and head back before looking at Stan with a squinting look of his own.

“Seriously? That’s your grand plan? He thinks I’m a fucking parasite or something now,” he hissed out under his breath.

Stan didn’t pay his words the slightest bit of attention, looking smug as he wiped down glasses one by one.

“He’s been staring at you all night too,” he said simply, turning away. “You just haven’t noticed cause you look at his ass too much.”

It was Richie’s turn to flush. Not at being caught staring at Eddie’s ass. It was a great ass and he was unashamed. No, it was the idea of Eddie looking at him too that caused color to rise to his cheeks.

“He was?” he asked, a slow smile spreading across his face.

Stan just turned away, his body language making it clear that he was rolling his eyes.

“Get out of my bar.”

Richie huffed and dropped money on the counter before sliding off of his stool. Just as he did, Eddie stepped out from the back with a jacket on over his sweater and a dark red scarf that he was slowly winding around his neck. Richie turned and made his way to the door, swallowing hard as he slid on his own jacket and tugged a dark grey beanie on over his head.

“You ready?”

Eddie’s voice was uncertain as he came up to Richie. He looked far more prepared for the cold November weather than Richie, with gloves and a winter jacket instead of a simple leather jacket and nothing to cover his neck or hands.

“As I’ll ever be,” Richie said.

He pushed the door open, letting Eddie step outside before following him. The air was biting, making his skin sting and his entire body shiver as they walked out onto the sidewalk. It was snowing lightly, just as it had been most of the day, enough for it to gather on the roads and cling to grass and roofs. Richie fell into step with Eddie, matching his shorter strides so that he didn’t surge ahead of him.

“You don’t have to walk with me,” Eddie said, breaking the silence after a while. “I know Stan said… well… it’s just okay if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Richie said quickly, looking over at him. “It’s okay. I mean… I want to.”

Eddie looked back at him, his eyes warm and his cheeks spotted with color as a slight smile pulled at his soft-looking lips. What Richie wouldn’t give to learn just how soft they were. He looked away quickly, hoping that his thoughts weren’t visible on his face as he shuddered lightly at the idea of Eddie rejecting him outright if he knew.

“You wouldn’t be so cold if you wore more than just a leather jacket.”

Richie blinked with surprise at Eddie’s words before looking over at him. There was the slightest upturn of his lips and an amused light to his eyes as he glanced over at Richie.

“I’m wearing a hat,” Richie said dumbly, pointing to his head as if Eddie couldn’t tell where it was for himself.

“I have a feeling you’re one of those guys who wears the hat for the look and not for any practical reason,” Eddie guessed, looking at Richie challengingly as daring him to contradict the assumption.

Instead, Richie let out a startled laugh and shook his head.

“Damn cutie,” he said without thinking, turning his head to focus on where he was walking before he accidentally ran into a pole or a trash can. “You got me all figured out, don’t you?”

“Not yet,” Eddie said with a light shrug. “But I’d like to.”

There was very little for Richie to actually trip over but he managed it, stumbling a little before righting himself.

“What?” he said, coming to a stop.

Eddie turned to face him, tucking his hands away in the pockets of his coat as he stepped closer.

“Stan isn’t subtle and neither are you,” he said honestly.

Richie simply blinked at him, trying to understand.

“I’m just walking you home,” he said.

Eddie raised one eyebrow at him. His cheeks were flushed in the cold, making him look even cuter. He was bouncing up and down lightly on his toes, clearly trying to keep warm.

“Surprised you aren’t walking a few feet behind me so you can stare at my ass some more,” he said bluntly.

Richie swallowed hard, definitely feeling caught at this point.

“I, uh…” he looked down at the ground as he rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “I’m sorry.”

He heard a soft laugh and looked up to see Eddie smiling at him.

“Don’t be,” Eddie said, stepping closer to him. “I’d have stopped it long before now if I didn’t like it.”

Richie didn’t say anything, turning the words over in his head again and again until he grasped Eddie’s meaning. Eddie drew closer and closer as he did so.

“So…” Richie trailed off, his eyes darting all over Eddie’s face to see what he should do next.

“So you should kiss me now,” Eddie said, looking into his eyes.

Richie’s mind short-circuited but his body didn’t. His hand lifted, playing with the end of Eddie’s scarf nervously. Eddie didn’t move, watching and waiting for him. After a few moments, Richie shook his head and let out a laugh.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Eddie said quietly.

Richie’s eyes darted up, meeting his. There was uncertainty deep in Eddie’s eyes, as if he was just as afraid of being rejected. It was that realization that finally made Richie move. He leaned in, curling his fingers into Eddie’s scarf to tug him closer. Eddie met him in the middle, pushing up on his toes. Their lips met in a gentle kiss, simple and chaste yet absolutely incredible.

Eddie’s gloved hand came up to cup the back of his neck as Richie wrapped an arm around his waist to tug him in closer. They stayed like that for a long time, meeting again and again with soft kisses that lingered. When Eddie pulled away, dropping back to his heels, Richie’s eyes fluttered open as a smile tugged at his lips.

“Wow,” Richie said.

Another laugh fell from Eddie’s lips.

“Walk me home,” he said, his eyes shining happily.

“That’s what I was doing,” Richie said, feeling slightly confused.

Eddie shook his head, playing with the collar of Richie’s jacket.

“All the way home,” he said, holding Richie’s gaze. “I make fantastic hot chocolate.”

Richie grinned at him, his hands falling to Eddie’s hips.

“I do love hot chocolate,” he said.

Eddie reached down, taking his hand to lace their fingers.

“Come on,” he said, tugging Richie forward. “If you’re really lucky, you can do more than just stare at my ass.”

“Holy shit, Eds,” Richie said, following him willingly. “I’m already lucky.”

They walked down the street close together, their hands loosely entwined and their cheeks flushed from more than just the cold. As Richie followed Eddie into his apartment building, Richie made a note to thank Stan, knowing already that it would annoy the hell out of him.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Neighbors

When Eddie made the decision to move back in with his mother after her heart attack, he expected many things. In a lot of ways, it was far different from his childhood. They couldn’t afford a house so they lived in an apartment. His mother no longer had the energy to oversee and micromanage his every move, so she settled with whining and guilting him from her place in the armchair. But Eddie had the ability to walk out whenever he needed, as a legal adult, though he didn’t take advantage of that opportunity nearly as much as he should have.

Eddie knew that his mother would try to control him. He knew that it would be hard not to let her. It was a near constant battle of trying not to submit to her determined influence, telling himself that he was in control of his own actions. But of all the ways he anticipated expressing his independence, finding himself bent over the next door neighbor’s kitchen counter with his clothes strewn about the floor and two long fingers working him open as Eddie pressed his palm over his mouth was not a situation that he ever could have predicted.

And yet here he was.

Richie Tozier was a wrench. He threw every carefully laid plan out the window from the moment he laid eyes on Eddie and bluntly complimented his ass with a wink. Eddie dismissed him as an asshole at first, flushing with anger at being taunted and letting him know just how little he appreciated it. But Richie was not put off. It took two and a half months for Eddie to start wondering if maybe Richie meant what he said. If maybe he wasn’t just having a good laugh at the expense of his neighbor.

Eddie tested his theory one day when his mother was at the doctor, pressing a light kiss to Richie’s lips in the mail room. He barely made it two steps away, embarrassment rising in his chest, before Richie had him pressed to the wall of mailboxes, kissing him deeply and thoroughly until they were both trembling with desire. Richie gave him a hand job in that same room that very same day. It was hard to stop after that. Each encounter left Eddie feeling more addicted, like he just couldn’t get enough of Richie’s touch.

That was only the beginning.

He had a long list of excuses for his absences. Work kept him late. The computer system was down at their favorite grocery store. Traffic was traffic, as it always was in Manhattan. Anything to find his way to Richie. Anything to lose himself in pleasure for just a few hours. To own a part of himself that his mother could never control. So here he was, after promising her that he would get the laundry done. It wasn’t a complete lie. The clothes were on a very thorough cycle. It helped that Richie had a washing machine and dryer in his apartment. It saved Eddie a trip to the laundromat.

“You with me, baby?” that low, husky voice asked from behind him.

Eddie nodded, not daring to let his hand fall away. The walls weren’t all that thin but he wasn’t willing to take the chance that his mother may hear, even if she was probably taking a nap. Richie curled his fingers just right, brushing over that sweet spot deep inside, and Eddie let out a muffled whine as he pressed back into Richie’s hand, wordlessly begging for more.

“Look at you,” Richie murmured, stroking his his free hand over Eddie’s hip. “So responsive. I fucking love those little noises you make.”

A third finger pressed in alongside the other two and Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, loving the delicious stretch and how Richie knew just what he needed. The slow rhythm of his fingers in and out, twisting and curling and scissoring, was enough to make Eddie’s knees shake and his lower belly coil with tight, hot pleasure. Eddie gripped at the counter with his free hand, canting his hips back and fucking himself on Richie’s fingers, earning a low noise of approval from the man behind him. Then those fingers pulled out, Richie’s thumb brushing teasingly over his rim when a noise of protest passed Eddie’s lips.

“I got you, Eds,” he promised.

Eddie’s cheeks, though already warm, flushed even more at his words as he heard the sound of a foil packet tearing and the bottle of lube popping open. He’d told Richie more than once not to call him that but it never stuck. Now Eddie was resigned to it, a fact that delighted Richie. In the deepest recesses of his mind, though he would never admit it aloud, Eddie knew that he really didn’t hate the nickname all that much. But Richie didn’t need the encouragement.

“You’re so damn beautiful, you know that?” Richie asked, draping over Eddie’s back for just a moment to press a kiss to his shoulder.

Whatever response Eddie had prepared, though his hand still covered his mouth, faded away when he felt the head of Richie’s cock nudging at his ass. Then he pressed in slowly, inch by inch, letting them both feel every moment of it. Eddie’s palm slapped to the counter as his mind lost all sense or concern for where he was. A low moan and gasp of Richie’s name fell from his lips as he bottomed out, filling Eddie to the brim with his thick length. Eddie trapped his lower lip in his teeth, breathing in and out through his nose as Richie stroked at his hips and kneaded his ass while they both got used to the feeling.

Then Richie pulled out slowly, almost all the way out, before sliding back into him at the same pace. A hoarse moan fell from Eddie’s lips. Richie did it again, and twice more after that, each time pulling noises out of him that he tried desperately and unsuccessfully to cover. He could practically feel Richie’s satisfaction with each sound he made, especially when the other man stroked his knuckles down Eddie’s spine and repeated the slow thrust of his hips. Eddie made no move to stop him, angling his hips back to meet his movements as pleasure sparked through his body.

“That’s right,” Richie murmured, the slightest strain in his voice. “You like more, don’t you? Hard and fast?”

Eddie let out a shaky breath, releasing his lip from the abuse of his teeth.

“Rich,” he said, letting his eyes fall closed as he finally spoke. “Please…I need…I-I…oh fuck…fuck me.”

As soon as he spoke the words, Richie didn’t waste a moment before picking up the pace and Eddie was lost in pleasure. With every moan and cry that filled the air, he could only pray that they wouldn’t be heard. Richie let out his own fair share of noises. He never lacked in words. Eddie knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. He had no issue praising everything he could think of, letting loose words of appreciation for how well they fit, how good Eddie was doing, how beautiful he looked. Eddie would be a liar if he pretended to dislike it, knowing full well that Richie’s words brought a pleased flush to his cheeks as he met him thrust for thrust as hot pleasure pooled low in his belly.

“So good for me, aren’t you Eds? Taking my cock so well. I wish you could see it like this but you can feel it, can’t you baby? How perfect it is?”

“Richie,” Eddie whined, arching his back just slightly as he pressed his palms to the counter. “P-please…need…need more…”

Richie pulled out of him suddenly and Eddie let out a protesting noise just before he was pulled to stand and turned around. They didn’t waste any time before dropping down to the floor. Eddie could barely contemplate the last time it had been cleaned, knowing Richie’s lack of motivation quite well, before he was being arranged over the other man’s lap. He reached back, knowing without words what Richie wanted from him, lining up with the head of his cock before sinking down. They both let out soft moans, and in Richie’s case a few curses, as he bottomed out even deeper than before.

Then Richie was pulling Eddie almost all the way off before planting his feet on the tile, forcing Eddie’s legs further apart as he began thrusting up into him. Breathless moans and cries fell from his lips as Eddie braced his hands on Richie’s chest and stared down into his eyes with a heavy-lidded gaze. The blunt head of Richie’s cock brushed over his prostate every few thrusts, sending shocks of pleasure running through him as he tried to find a matching rhythm. It didn’t take long for a light sheen of sweat to cover his skin as Eddie began riding Richie desperately, reaching between them to stroke at his own cock.

“Oh fuck,” Richie moaned out, seizing his hips and guiding his movements. “I could fucking look at you like this forever, Eddie. You’re like a goddamn dream.”

Eddie dug his carefully clipped nails into Richie’s chest as he trapped his cries behind firmly pressed lips. He saw frustration and need pass over Richie’s face and knew that he wasn’t the only one who was close to release. Eddie reached out, pulling at his shoulder desperately as he tried to find the words for what he wanted. But, as always, Richie knew without being told and sat up, his hands pressing over Eddie’s heated back as he coaxed him into a kiss. They moved in tandem, Richie’s hand falling to Eddie’s cock as Eddie bounced up and down with no regard for the aching burn in his muscles.

His hand lifted, fisting in Richie’s hair and tugging sharply, drawing a muffled groan from the other man. Then Richie’s thumb brushed over his leaking slit and he ducked his heat, nipping at Eddie’s throat, and that was all it took for the tight coil to release as waves of pleasure rushed over him, making Eddie’s entire body quiver as he tossed his head back to the ceiling and spilled out over Richie’s hand. He barely had time to feel the oversensitive ache before Richie was coming too, rocking up into Eddie as he spilled into the condom. Eddie’s forehead dropped to Richie’s shoulder as he fought to catch his breath, pleasured tremors still running through him every so often.

Richie stroked gently fingers over his back, pressing kisses to his temple. He was always uncharacteristically quiet in the minutes after they finished, cooling down in each other’s arms without pulling away. Eddie loved it because he felt like Richie was the most vulnerable in moments like this, when their limbs grew heavy and their bodies ached for closeness that they easily gave into. He pressed a kiss over Richie’s collarbone and relished in the shiver that Richie gave in return, knowing full well that he affected the other man just as much as he was affected.

“One day,” Richie said quietly, nuzzling at Eddie affectionately with warmth and hope mingling in his tired voice. “One day we won’t have to hide, baby. I promise”

Eddie closed his eyes, an image taking shape in his mind of that day. He could only hope it would come soon.

“One day,” he repeated.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Fear

Eddie knew that there were going to be disagreements. He was under no misconceptions that Richie’s more frustrating qualities were going to disappear during their flight from Derry, full of endless days with no one but each other for company in Richie’s old truck and the road in front of them. Eddie knew that he had plenty of annoying traits that were getting on Richie’s last nerve by now.

But he didn’t anticipate the silence.

They were at a campground without a tent, planning on spending yet another night sleeping in the cab of the truck. Their funds were running low, which meant even the worst of motels were out of the question. They knew that they would have to settle somewhere soon, which was part of the reason they were so on edge. They had no idea what they were going to do.

Eddie was sitting on the hood of Richie’s truck, watching his boyfriend skip rocks over the lake that they were parked beside. It was beautiful, with calm water that glittered in the sun. It was a warm day, with only a few clouds in the sky and a slight breeze keeping them from getting too heated. Eddie tried to let the beautiful view carry him away, to let him him forget.

But his eyes kept drawing back to Richie. To his dark curls sloppily pulled out of his face into a bun. To the sweat that trickled down his temple. To the muscles of his back shifting and rolling beneath his shirt with each pebble that he threw. The tension in his jaw was unmistakable and Eddie didn’t miss the looks he cast out of the corner of his eye when he thought he wasn’t being watched.

Their argument had been heated. As they drew closer to settling somewhere, the uncertainty of their future put a burden on his and Richie’s shoulders. Eddie had jumped into leaving Derry with both feet, a decision so unlike him, and he could only feel more and more stressed. They’d been needling at each other for days and it all erupted in a fight that ended with one demand from Richie that chilled Eddie to the bone.

“If you’re so goddamn miserable with me, why the fuck did you even come?”

The truth was that Eddie wasn’t miserable. Even though he’d experienced some of the most unsettling and terrifying moments of his life since they crossed the border of their hometown, he felt like he spent the last several weeks finding out what it meant to truly live with Richie at his side. Eddie wouldn’t give that up for anything, even with the troubles they’d encountered and the future’s uncertainty. It hurt him that Richie didn’t know that.

Eddie didn’t know what he would do when he slipped from the hood, his feet hitting the ground softly. They carried him to Richie slowly as he wringed his hands, his heart beating quickly in his chest. There was one true reason that he came with Richie on this insane, wonderful, terrifying trip. Something he’d never revealed before. Something he hadn’t truly accepted until now. But it was something that Richie deserved to hear.

“I came because I love you.”

The words slipped out of Eddie’s lips as he stopped short several feet away. Richie froze in place, the stone in his hand dropping to the ground. Eddie waited for him to turn. To say anything. His heart felt like it was in his throat as his stomach twisted. Another moment of silence and he just knew that the panic would overtake him.

Then Richie turned around slowly, meeting his gaze. Eddie saw the surprise in his eyes and the slight parting of his lips and knew that Richie didn’t expect to hear the words. He knew that his boyfriend had a hard time believing, sometimes, that someone actually cared about him. Eddie reached out, slipping his hand into Richie’s.

“I’m scared,” he admitted, stepping closer. “But nothing, not even my fear about what’s going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next, is going to change that I love you.”

Richie let out a breath that Eddie suspected he’d been holding since he first said the words, exhaling slowly as his shoulders slumped, releasing the tension that he’d been holding. He closed the distance between them, reaching up his free hand to cup Eddie’s cheek. He swept his thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone, leaning down to brush their lips together.

“I love you too,” he murmured.

Eddie felt his own stress slipping away as he let himself be folded into Richie’s embrace, knowing that they would be okay. No matter what, they loved each other. That’s all they needed.

[reddieforlove-archive-blog]

Safeword

As soon as the word passed his bitten red lips, everything grew still.

It felt like the world suddenly moved in slow motion. What was likely just a few seconds passed like hours as Richie’s hands disappeared. Eddie let out a shaky breath, his stomach twisting and his heart beating wildly in his chest. It didn’t take long for the silk ropes binding him to the bed to be plucked free. Eddie started to curl in on himself, tears stinging at his eyes, but Richie’s hands gently closed around his shoulders and urged him up to sit.

Eddie tried to say something but Richie hushed his stammering efforts and wrapped a soft blanket around him. Then the sound of his footsteps padding away filled Eddie with even more crushing guilt and a sense of failure. He didn’t even know why he said it. The scene wasn’t different from ones they’d done before. And he was the one to initiate it, which made him feel even worse. All Eddie wanted to do was forget everything after a hard day at work.

But it was too much.

And now Richie was gone and all that Eddie could imagine was the worst coming true. His lover was probably angry with him for giving into his panic. Eddie wouldn’t blame him for it. His breaths were labored as he clutched at the blanket, squeezing his eyes shut while tears slipped from beneath his closed eyelids. He was trembling uncontrollably, his body crashing from the endorphins and adrenaline that still flooded every inch of him.

“Drink this, sweetheart.”

Richie’s voice, along with the feeling of his warm hand pressing over his back, made Eddie jerk with surprise. He didn’t hear him come back. Eddie didn’t take the cup of water from him. He couldn’t even bring himself look up. The last thing that he wanted to see was disappointment in Richie’s eyes.

“Eds, come on,” Richie urged, the bed dipping with his weight as he sat down. “Drink it for me. It’ll make you feel better.”

Eddie relented at his words, keeping his head ducked shamefully as he reached up with shaking hands to take the cup. He sipped at the cool water as hot tears still streaked down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to gasp out after a few drinks. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

It was all that Eddie could say. He needed Richie to understand. He had to make him see that he didn’t want to disappoint him. It was just too much and too far for his state of mind. But he couldn’t make his mind work with his mouth to say the words. All he could do was apologize again and again, his words becoming choked with sobs.

“Shh, it’s alright. I promise,” Richie assured him, rubbing soothing circles over his back.

Eddie lifted his head, finally meeting his eyes. They were filled with concern and fear. Not disappointment. Not anger.

“You with me?” Richie asked, reaching up to brush his tears away with a gentle thumb.

Eddie nodded slowly, fighting to catch his breath as he clung to Richie’s words.

“Good,” Richie said, nodding his head before giving him a small smile. “I’m so proud of you, baby. I know it wasn’t easy.”

The words warmed something deep in his chest, chasing away most of the guilt and fear. Richie pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and Eddie leaned into the touch with a quiet sigh, letting it soothe him.

“You wanna take a bath?” Richie asked quietly.

Eddie hesitated before answering with a whispered “yeah” that was filled with uncertainty. Richie caught on easily.

“You sure?”

He looked into Richie’s eyes and nodded slowly.

“Will you hold me first?” Eddie asked, voicing what he needed the most.

“Of course,” Richie said, taking the water from his hands.

Eddie sank into his embrace as soon as he was wrapped in Richie’s arms, letting his warmth and his scent calm his residual panic. His hand lifted, twisting into the wrinkled, inside-out t-shirt that Richie hastily put on before hurrying from the room to get the cup of water. As they sat there, Richie whispering soothing words in his ear as he held him close, Eddie knew that it would be okay.