redheadhurricane

[redheadhurricane]

me: I'm exhausted, but I need to push through anyway

my brain: get some rest, if you don't have your health you don't have anything

me: ... you do realize that quote is from THE VILLIAN in the princess bride, right? Why should I take health advice from a man who tortures people as a hobby?

[redheadhurricane]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[redheadhurricane]

“i liked it before it was cool” well i liked it AFTER it was cool when everyone abandoned it

[redheadhurricane]

[redheadhurricane]

I am a TRADITIONAL MORMON and I follow TRADITIONAL MORMON VALUES

I am a COMMUNIST

I believe in PRISON ABOLITION

when I see someone being HOMOSEXUAL or TRANSSEXUAL, I mind my OWN DAMN BUSINESS

I support ROBUST URBAN PLANNING

I think all young women should learn INTEGRATED PEST CONTROL

I like my women how I like my men: VOTING IN EVERY ELECTION and BECOMING DOCTORS

I believe people are INHERENTLY GOOD and need to be ENCOURAGED WITH COMPASSION, not CONTROLLED WITH AUTHORITARIANISM

I think HANDCARTS are the BEST WAY TO TRAVEL

I practice WITCHCRAFT, MAGIC, DIVINATION, and ASTROLOGY

FOLLOW MY BLOG FOR MORE TRADITIONAL MORMON BELIEFS

[redheadhurricane]

today was single handedly the best day of my life. i caught a cop stealing from the store i work at

[redheadhurricane]

now that the statute of limitations has expired, i can say that during the pandemic, my apartment complex at the time tried to change the laundry room hours to business hours, and i very calmly and quietly went down, took a cinderblock off the garden wall, and threw it through the glass door. and it stayed open til 9pm, and we never heard about changing hours again. sometimes you have to throw a cinderblock in a very businesslike manner, i'm saying. this is a negotiation, among stakeholders, and i would like to make clear that the cost/benefit balance sheet used to make the decision to change the hours was missing a variable

[redheadhurricane]

25 Days of Christmas ⭐︎ Day 12

Da Kath and Kim Code (2005)

[redheadhurricane]

let me tell you driving from Ohio to Washington in a SmartCar with everything I owned was funny enough on its own but once I got west of the Rockies, every. single. time. I stopped ar a gas station, random dads would just spawn beside my car. like there was some sort of dad portal following me. and they’d see my ohio plates and go, “did you DRIVE through the mountains in that?” and every. single. time. I’d go, “well, they didn’t airlift me!”

it killed. it absolutely cleared ever time. never failed to make the dads laugh. they were obsessed. i said it the same every time. it was like I was in a groundhog day timeloop on interstate 70 westbound gas stations. and you know what? I was happy.

[redheadhurricane]

Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country

[redheadhurricane]

[redheadhurricane]

Do you think they realize how much cooler that makes it sound?

Like. I'm not even an apotheosis type of guy. But you do know that makes it sound so much cooler right?

[redheadhurricane]

last night I conceived of a truly diabolical plan of pointless and petty evil and I shall have such fun putting it into action. a little birthday present to myself.

[redheadhurricane]

[redheadhurricane]

i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

[redheadhurricane]

wheres seasons greasons

[redheadhurricane]

this is from a real diary by a 13-year-old girl in 1870. teenage girls are awesome and they’ve always been that way.