redheadidiot

[redheadidiot]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[redheadidiot]

Thinking about sardines on crackers

[redheadidiot]

two dollys

[redheadidiot]

Anybody else have a growing fear of updating their tech cuz everything seems to be getting worse and worse

[redheadidiot]

Kept driving through these weird bugs yesterday. They made a MESS of my car. Does anyone have experience cleaning off this goop? It's like glitter, it gets EVERYWHERE.

[redheadidiot]

Hemitrichia serpula by Gim Siew Tan

[redheadidiot]

saying "the age of 30 is in demand" near an elf and she looks at you with abject disgust

[redheadidiot]

feminizing hrt

nvm i was looking thru my gallery for a picture and i found pickle mike again👍👍 so now its a pickle mike post. sorry

[redheadidiot]

Tonight in ‘reddit headines that made me laugh’

[redheadidiot]

eternal ass june ive already reincarnated 10,000 lives this month

[redheadidiot]

"16$ for a hamburger and fries? What's even the point of McDon-[Gnome slingshots a pea at the back of my head and giggles to his mates]-guys it's happening again. I think it's happening again."

[redheadidiot]

my friend who is trying to subtly implant the idea of dewey from malcom in the middle in my mind so that eventually it causes me to divorce my wife: what dewey do?

the blood skeleton:

[redheadidiot]

Mammoth Gordon Ramsay: Oh, fuck me, you've just thrown a spear into my side. And another! This is fucking ridiculous. Hurts all the more knowing you're going to overcook me too

[redheadidiot]