regular-cock-wizard

[regular-cock-wizard]

The American Midwest is being hit with dangerous blizzards and subzero temps that can cause frostbite in under ten minutes and my dad is outside grilling burgers.

[regular-cock-wizard]

saw someone misspell "stochastic terror" as "socratic terror" so I'd like to clarify that stochastic terror is the public demonization of a person or group resulting in the incitement of a violent act that seems random but is not, while "socratic terror" is what every athenian felt when they went down to the agora in the 5th century and saw an old man with a beard approaching them

[regular-cock-wizard]

ME: hold up. you see that? train's been through here FRIEND: how can you tell ME: tracks. they're not fresh, maybe 60, 80 years old FRIEND: no chance it'll come back, then ME: don't be so sure. That's well within their lifespan... and they're highly territorial

[regular-cock-wizard]

[regular-cock-wizard]

Don’t let people make fun of you for liking japanese culture.

I am living in japan right now and let me tell ya:

There are people here who can’t speak or understand English who play nothing but Missy elliot and ludacris, even in businesses like housing offices and restaurants.

There are people who have cowboy hats and dead cow skulls in their home because they idolize what they assume American homes are like.

There are people who learn English strictly through music videos and American television shows.

There are entire karaoke bars with english songs often sung by people who have no idea what the lyrics mean.

Japan often takes American shows like the powerpuff girls and make japanese versions of them.

They often mistake common Americans for celebrities. I have been mistaken for Micheal jordan, tiger woods, Shaquille o'neal, Tyler perry, and saddest of all: queen latifa.

The act of sprinkling English into your japanese sentences is considered cute and cool and is popular with teenagers. Bonus points if you happen to use it correctly.

Japanese stores sell shirts with english on them and people buy them not knowing that most of those word combinations are nonsense.

Don’t let someone shame you for singing an anime opening, using japanese in your sentences, wearing clothing with japanese on it, ect. If anything, this is just one more thing that you have in common with them.

[regular-cock-wizard]

It gets funnier every time

monkeyshoot.avi

[regular-cock-wizard]

Gollum and yoda sucking each other off while a big steamroller gets closer and closer

[regular-cock-wizard]

I have been a sheep caretaker for like two days and already I'm like. Wow. I get it.

I get why these were some of the earliest mammals to ever be domesticated. They look up to humans with this sort of dumb but all at once innocent and pure and trusting expression. They're happy to see you. They follow you around. They like to be rubbed under their chins. Maybe its just some latent Scottish highland shepherd DNA I still have in me but I look at my sheep charges and suddenly I see why the love of God for humanity is so often described as a shepherd and his sheep. I'd fight a wolf for these guys. I'd go way the Hell out of my way for them. I'd carry their young for miles on my own back.

[regular-cock-wizard]

i just realized that tumblr allows multiple audio files in a row and they autoplay consecutively on mobile

[regular-cock-wizard]

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

[regular-cock-wizard]

I drew a little something for the Hiveworks micro comic summer~

[regular-cock-wizard]

I’m glad ppl on tiktok are doing ok