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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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He hated himself right now. Most of all because he couldnā€™t seem to bring himself back into check, couldnā€™t stem the flow of tears no matter how hard he ground the palms of his hands into his eyes, and as a result couldnā€™t stop sniffling, truly feeling like a dirty little child as heā€™d pulled his sleeve across his nose. It didnā€™t matter what promises his father made, or what he said, there was no consoling him right now. Heā€™d held onto all of these secrets alone for so long, and if heā€™d had his way heā€™d still have them - Orion simply wasnā€™t meant to be here tonight. Heā€™d planned it so carefully...
It had taken him a moment to pull his gaze up to meet Orionā€™s when heā€™d told him to look and listen, fighting the way that he only seemed to be able to look at his lap for the time being. It was with great effort that he did as told, and he was happy that he did - apparently his father was the source of the information that he needed. The only issue was that he didnā€™t want to ask any further questions of him. He wanted to be allowed to leave - to run up to his room so that he could be spared the embarrassment of his feelings - to hide.Ā 
He was sure that his father wouldnā€™t have cared if anything had happened to Kreacher - heā€™d stopped asking anyone else in the house to call the elves by their names years ago,Ā ā€œWhen I gave him the order to go - right after I walked with the Dark Lord after taking the mark - I also gave him the order to return.ā€ he didnā€™t bother with his phrasing. He much preferred to think of things in a manner of having asked rather than ordered, but again - that was another issue entirely, and on the back burner for now.Ā ā€œIt took days to get the potion out of his system, and Iā€™m still not sure what exactly it was.ā€ Of course, he didnā€™t need to tell his father any of this. Heā€™d seen it all for himself.Ā 
He managed a deep breath, knowing just how serious this conversation was,Ā ā€œWhen exactly was I supposed to tell you anything? You came home and almost immediately announced you were running for Minister. Youā€™re always busy with something - itā€™s like you donā€™t know what it means to be retired. Iā€™d ask what youā€™re so busy with, but Iā€™m really not sure I want to know.ā€ He knew enough of reputations, and now as a near-adult was able to reflect on his childhood in a different light - he was beginning to think that Orion Black was not the man he wanted to believe that he was.Ā ā€œMore than anything I regret this,ā€ He pushed up his sleeve, showing Orion the mark on his forearm even if he steadfastly looked away from it himself. It may not have been his only regret, but it was the only one heā€™d mention in this conversation.Ā ā€œI donā€™t know what Iā€™m planning on doing with what I know, but I canā€™t exactly sit back and do nothing and still have the gall to believe that somewhere inside I might still be a good person.ā€
trespasser || orion
regulusb:
He had no recollection of the last time he had cried like this - not at a funeral or at a broken bone or anything like that. Even when Sirius had left them, in the face of his parents heā€™d remained stoic and strong. Heā€™d saved his tears for the shower, where there was no risk of anyone ever seeing or hearing them as they washed down the drain. Heā€™d almost certainly been a small child the last time heā€™d cried in front of either of his parents like this, and he certainly didnā€™t like that it was happening now either. He looked up only when Orion had said he wasnā€™t going to let him die, because there was no way he could know that.
Heā€™d opened his mouth to say as such, but then Orion had continued before he could find the right words, because yet again - how was he supposed to tell him anything? Heā€™d just come back from a month of what sounded like torture, and even still he had to question which ties were stronger. There was no way he could have possibly told him anything, but he did quickly cut in,Ā ā€œNo, I donā€™t know-ā€ before cutting himself off, watching as the lamp shattered against the wall.
He couldnā€™t quite place the look on Orionā€™s face, though it did render him back into silence, his gaze dropping to the floor at the sound of his disappointment. This was likely the closest theyā€™d come to acknowledging Sirius in front of him since his departure, and Regulus found he was quite happy for the distraction that a simple glass of water provided, focussing on not eliminating it too quickly by drinking it all.Ā 
It seemed quickly that whatever anger his father had was ebbing away, and it was his turn to speak now, though he still had no clue just what was going to come out of his mouth,Ā ā€œI couldnā€™t tell you.ā€ His statement was simple.Ā ā€œI didnā€™t know - I still donā€™t know anything. I donā€™t know what a horcrux is or even if that is what Slytherinā€™s locket is. I donā€™t know what to do, but I know that whatever heā€™s done, heā€™s tried to kill Kreacher in order to hide it, and with all of the safeguards heā€™s put in place whoever does try to retrieve it is going to die in the process. I couldnā€™t tell you though - Dad you - You were hurt. If this is going to kill someone it might as well be me. The only way Iā€™m ever going to fix any of my mistakes is dying anyways.ā€
He knew it was a tricky thing to promise. He knew he had no control over death no matter how much he pretended to, but Orion could not and would not let Regulus die. This wasnā€™t about the Black family legacy or who would be heir. This came down to family, to blood, to love. Was it horrible to wonder if your son knew that you loved him? Yes, it is,Ā the bitter angel on his shoulder whispered,Ā but youā€™re a horrible person, Orion. While he made this promise to his son, he made a promise to himself- Orion was going to make sure that Regulus lived, even if he himself died in the process. There wasnā€™t a better way to go out in his eyes.
As much as it pained him to agree, Orion understood why Regulus couldnā€™t trust him with this. All his life Orion has been putting the Dark Lord before his family, even before himself. It was such a righteous path or it had been until now. One Orion willingly put his son on and now it led them to here, in his study, where under the anger and concern for Regulusā€™ life, lied betrayal. Because thatā€™s what this was, what it all pointed to in the end: betrayal. A bitter short-lived laugh bubbled up from his throat in between Regulusā€™ words; a horcrux of all things, and to go after one that belonged to the Dark Lord was certain death. Even if they lived, what would happen after? How would he keep his family safe?
There was much to process and Orion listened to his son carefully, occasionally looking at him when he said something that truly caught Orion off guard- the use of Kreacher, Slytherinā€™s locket, the mistakes of a 17 year old. Try 50, kid. Orion rubbed at his jaw with his hand, the mental strain growing the longer Regulus spoke. When he finished, Orion turned towards him, leaning against the arm of his chair.
ā€œLook at me and listenā€¦ You wonā€™t find anything about horcruxes anywhere. Deemed so incredibly evil -rightfully so- that most average wizards havenā€™t even heard of it. I was years older than you when I first heard of it and even then it was pure luck I stumbled upon it. The only purpose of a horcrux is immortality. Magic that rips apart your humanity, your soul.Ā Itā€™s a wonder the elf is even still alive,ā€ he said, an eyebrow raised along with the intense seriousness of his voice.Ā ā€œThis is why you should have told me. You are seventeen, boy, what mistakes could you possibly be speaking of? Like you said, you donā€™t know anything. What did you even plan to do with this information?ā€
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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"That's dumb... I have a bed at home why would I need one out here?" He'd asked, and then laughed, "I don't need to survive in nature... Uncle Walden do you know how many houses we have?" He'd asked, though he wasn't sure he even expected an answer. The comment about his father didn't go unnoticed, causing a crease in the young boy's brow, "My dad is busy. He's got lots of work to do at the Ministry. It's important stuff." He might have been a kid, but he still knew that what happened at the Ministry was important. He only didn't know that that wasn't where his father spent all of his time. He simply didn't like anyone speaking badly about him. He looked up to Orion, and even though he still had years to go before he truly needed to do anything, he knew that he wanted to be just like him. He didnā€™t plan on talking back anymore though, not without any of the other boys around to deflect to.Ā 
This was the part that truly didnā€™t make sense to him though, as Uncle Walden pointed out that he was going to use his wand,Ā ā€œBut then couldnā€™t you just use your wand to make the fire and the food too? Iā€™ll have my own wand in four years and then I can do it all by myself too.ā€ Not that he ever planned to put himself in a situation where he would need to put up a tent or make a fire. He was Regulus Black, and he understood already that that name came with certain perks - like never needing to live like a muggle. His instructions had been given, and he trudged back towards the line of trees with a groan,Ā ā€œThis is stupid. It would be so much easier if you let me bring my broom, or- Or! Or if Kreacher came with us.ā€
fear the fireĀ | walden&regulus | flashback
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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Tonight certainly wasn't turning out to be what he'd expected by any means. There were enough familiar faces that he felt comfortable to some degree, but still a number of newcomers that seemed to hold the attention of those he wouldn't mind speaking to. It was why he'd started drinking early, which was quite uncharacteristic of him, but champagne flowed freely, and none of those that were serving dared question his age. He was beginning to realize just how nice alcohol was, truly enjoying the buzz he was beginning to feel. He loved the way it drowned out his more nagging thoughts, nd the way it was making him feel as though he was floating. He loved that he could tell that the moment he found his way home and laid down, he would actually fall asleep. And he was also sure that he would stay asleep. It was funny how that thought alone provided him such solace. It was also fairly sad, given that he was still only seventeen and he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept a full night.
He'd noticed Antoin Jameson earlier in the night, while he'd been talking to Benjy, and had to wonder why this was the event that had brought him back to London. The last he'd heard anything about the older Slytherin he'd been living it up in America, and Regulus himself had been jealous. He'd never get to be that carefree. He knew he'd never escape his responsibilities here, and even if it was the champagne or the whiskey talking now, he wasn't sure that he didn't want just that. Freedom was a concept that had escaped him a long time ago, of course the thought of it was tempting.
He'd never actually expected Antoin to approach him, let alone remember who he was - the years between them had been enough that he'd truly been a child the last time he remembered ever seeing him. "Yes, it's just as exciting as any of these events ever is. I can only hope it's successful at the very least..." he eyed the flask presented and took a quick look around for either of his parents. If it meant a taste of what life was like for Antoin he'd happily try it. If Antoin had smuggled it in in a flask he could only assume that whatever it was wasn't something he could have expected here, and having been to enough of these events before, he'd have known they'd be serving top shelf. "You'll have to warn me if you see my parents. I can only assume they wouldn't be happy with me at the moment."
Date: July 8th Place: St Mungoā€™s Fundraiser Open to: @regulusb
Nothing was happening, no progress was being made. Aversio and the Order were only just getting along on the best of days. They needed a win, some kind of meaningful win if things were going to keep going in the right direction. Something that could boost moral and keep things moving along. Xeno had had too much time of not managing to accomplish anything, one too many twarted hopes.Ā 
Theyā€™d decided to attend that fundraiser, slipping in under disguise as a Pureblood Slytherin graduate would would certainly fit in at such an event. Xenophilius Lovegood showing up may have raised questions and certainly would have kept them from getting anywhere. Antoin Jameson? Well an event like this would fit him just fine. And Xen was going to use that to his advantage. Antoin was from a known Death Eater family, a familiar face among tonightā€™s company. Someone who would likely be trusted among the ranks of the very people Xeno hoped to take down. The kind of person who would fit in with the Blacks.
And really, where better to start than with them? So much of who they were and what they stood for churned his stomach. They could never understand a family like the Blacks. Sirus and Andromeda were the only ones who seemed to have much redeemable to them and even then, Xen had his hesitancy. Though like it or not, the Black family was strongā€“they knew what they were doing when it came to magic. Xen would take risks, sure, maybe even put his own life in danger, but not if not necessary. And he wouldnā€™t cause harm either unless he had to.
So heā€“Antoinā€“strolled casually toward the youngest of the Black family, only just graduated from Hogwarts.Ā ā€œRegulus, right?ā€ he said in a slow draw as though the question bored him.Ā ā€œI remember the face from around the halls. Tonight seems rather boring though, doesnā€™t it? Iā€™m looking for some good company to kick up a bit of fun. I may have brought something with me to brighten the party.ā€ He took a flask out of his jacket pocket, shaking it with a smile. Sure, it heldĀ  vertiserum, but surely Regulus would assume he meant alcohol.Ā ā€œI wonā€™t tell if you wonā€™t tell. Come on,ā€ he jerked his head toward a more secluded corner of the party.Ā 
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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It was early in the evening. The amount of work that had gone into it had been considerable, but Regulus hardly wanted his name attached to the event. He didnā€™t particularly care for it either way - St. Mungos would wind up being rebuilt with or without the fundraiser, but it was deemed necessary, and for whatever reason, so had he been. Heā€™d been to hundreds of events like this over the course of his life, yet it seemed like there were new expectations of him now that he had officially graduated. Now the questions that plagued him were the ones of whether or not he planned on a career in politics, whether or not there were any women heā€™d had his eye on... The typical trivial things that should have been his biggest concern.
Instead, he paid more mind to the flute of champagne he carried around, sipping from it so as to make the drivel more bearable. So these were the conversations that would replace the questions of what year he was in now, and which classes he was taking at NEWT level. Nobody asked him what his academic accolades were -- nobody cared. Not when his last name was Black. Professor Slughorn was the most tolerable of all of the conversations heā€™d been having, moving on to his second drink when the professor had asked for one for him, insisting that it was a celebration of his graduation, and a small toast between the two was made. It was the closest thing to an actual friendly conversation that heā€™d come across, but even still, Slughornā€™s attention had waned quickly - another flash of someone he deemed worthy across the room and he was moving on, as he always had.
The reprieve was nice, even if the whiskey wasnā€™t. It wasnā€™t low quality, simply that Regulus wasnā€™t used to drinking. Before heā€™d been permitted a glass of wine, if even that given the history of his house with alcohol, and now he was free to do as he pleased. This kind of freedom wasnā€™t something he was used to, or even something that he knew he wanted just yet. It was awkward at the moment, shaking yet another hand and respectfully accepting compliments on a party he felt he had no hand in. They too moved on quickly, while Regulus sought out a place where he could sit and make an attempt to enjoy his drink with his preferred company - himself.
@xbenjyfenwick
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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He wasnā€™t entirely sure what he was expecting when she opened the door, but it wasnā€™t what he saw. Number twelve was dark wood paneling, heavy wooden furniture and luxurious fabrics that hung heavy around the house in darkened colours. His own room fit the description to a tee. A dark oak desk in one corner beside a matching armoire and dresser. His four post bed was of the same wood, the curtains hanging around it a dark green with silver detailing, and heavy enough to block out any light that dared filter through the windows. He wasnā€™t entirely sure what kind of wood-paneled the walls in his room, only that someone who had lived in the room before him had covered the top half of the paneling in a heavy brocaded silk, giving the room an aristocratic air to it.
He knew that his mother hadnā€™t had very much to do with the decorating of their ancestral home, and yet it was still somehow what heā€™d expected when sheā€™d pulled the door open. He wasnā€™t expecting to see what looked much more like a plush couch, or for the room to be so bright. Her hug was tight, but he didnā€™t have the energy to return it with quite as much force, though he did try.Ā ā€œIā€™m fine, mum. More worried about how youā€™re doing... Are you doing okay?ā€
regulusb:
visitation || reg & mum
July 13th, 1979
It was strange wasnā€™t It, a warning to dress to blend in with a slip of parchment in his hand with an address. An address that would lead him to his motherā€™s new flat. Heā€™d actually had to leave home to see his own mother. He hadnā€™t asked what had prompted her to leave - whatever had happened was between his mother and father, even if there was always going to be a part of him that would blame himself. As though his being a better son would negate any other issues in their lives. As if there was anything he could possibly have done to prevent any of this. Heā€™d thought that he would have been the next, and last, person to leave Number Twelve, having just finished school, yet here they were, and instead it was Walburga settling into a new home. Even if things felt strained between himself and his father, he couldnā€™t leave him alone. For some reason it felt as though she stood a better chance at surviving on her own than he did.
He didnā€™t know why she wanted him to visit so soon, sure she couldnā€™t possibly be settled in yet, but still here he was, as dressed down as heā€™d ever been in his life in a long sleeved cotton shirt and jeans. Even his hair seemed to help him blend in well with the other muggle boys, hanging down long over his shoulders was evidently the preferred style. He wasnā€™t sure how much he disliked the thought that he could so easily blend in with them now. It worked to his benefit here, waiting for the elevator in a muggle building, but in generalā€¦ No matter how much he changed, heā€™d always think of himself as superior to them. He had to check the address again to get the right floor as he boarded with a few of them, aware of the way he tried to press himself into the wall to avoid contact, and how quickly heā€™d gotten off at the right floor. It had taken him a minute to find the right door, and even then heā€™d taken a moments pause before knocking, ā€œMother? Itā€™s me.ā€
@walburgablak
Walburga was still struggling to breathe at times. She couldnā€™t believe she had done it. That she had left. It had just been too much. Orion had shoved it in her face time after time that she wasnā€™t what she wanted. Her hand went to her rib cage where the letters spelling his name still stood. She had thought about removing it so many times but sheā€™d never been able to bring herself to give up hope, even now when she was living in an apartment having left him and their home she couldnā€™t bring herself to get rid of it.
Walburga had sent an owl to Reg to have him come over. Despite how distant her son had grown, she knew he would try and blame himself for this and she needed him to know it wasnā€™t his fault. She needed him to know there would always be a place for him in her life no matter how things turned out. She needed him to know how much she loved him. She feared that he wouldnā€™t understand. Regulus had been shut down for so long. She didnā€™t know how to help him and it killed her. She was his mother she was supposed to be able to help him.
Then she heard a knock at the door and the voice of her son. She moved to the door a mix of nerves and excitement rushing through her. Walburga opened the door allowing Regulus in. She knew her apartment was different from Number 12, she had wanted it that way. Her apartment was warmer and softer than the large house was. Once the door was closed behind him she pulled Regulus in to a hug.Ā ā€œI am so sorry. I wish I could have given you warning this was coming baby. Are you doing okay?ā€ She asked gently holding his face and looking at him.
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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ā€œMaster Regulus your f-ā€
Regulus looked up from his desk and the items on it to see Kreacher, and for the first time in a long time, a genuine smile drew itself across his features,Ā ā€œKreacher how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that? We are friends. My name alone is sufficient.ā€
ā€œRegulus, your father has requested your presence. You have company.ā€
He hadnā€™t been aware of any expectant guests but still he rose, brushing off his slacks before following Kreacher downstairs. He was tired, having stayed up all night working on building a replica of the necklace. He could handle this level of tired and remain a good host though. He only had to wonder why his father wanted him; things had been strained between them lately - he far preferred spending what time he had to spend with anyone with his mother now. Seeing Natalie DuPont when he'd finished descending the stairs to join them was only a slight surprise.
His mind began to race. There were any number of reasons for her to be here, but the fact that they'd both been summoned had left him wanting to know why. Marriage was the first thing to come to mind, and she wouldn't be a surprising choice by any means. It was the season after all, with several engagements announced. With no spare left he was sure it was his first responsibility after graduation to make sure that that changed. "It's good to see you Natalie, it's been a while, hasn't it?" Truly, what the Blacks were here in the UK, the Duponts were in France. It would be a powerful alliance to be made, but he wouldn't question any of that now. He'd wait to hear what his father had to say, because odds were he was entirely wrong. "Can I get you anything? Please have a seat." At the very least he would ensure he was a proper host, even if he was in the dark.
young wolves | natalie, regulus & orion
orion:
june 29th, 1979 12 grimmauld place - afternoon @natalicdupont @regulusb
The enchanted grandfather clock hovered behind an empty desk, even as the time for their meeting grew closer and closer. Instead of his usual spot at his desk, Orion decided to try something new: he sat on the couch at the seating area surrounding the fireplace in his study, a table in between with a pot of tea he personallyĀ just made. This wasnā€™t a regular business meeting where he needed to be in control of everything. Orion wanted two things out of this- to be able to keep an eye on Regulus and to give a grand speech for the first fundraiser dedicated to the rebuilding of St. Mungos. Even he was surprised at Rodolphusā€™ announcement, but the moment he had heard it Orion knew that he needed to help. He was no longer content to let their world burn just to achieve what Lord Voldemort wanted. This was the beginning of something new and, dare he say, goodĀ and he wanted to be a part of it.Ā 
Kreacher hesitantly walked through the wide open door of Orionā€™s study. Hesitant because his Masterā€™s office was never just open like this, welcoming any and all who needed to speak with him. So strange, he thought, as he asked his Master if he required anything else.
Orion shook his head, black reading glasses slid down his nose from the movement. He didnā€™t bother to glance up from the book he was reading as he answered.Ā ā€œNo, elf. Fetch Regulus when Miss. Dupont arrives and bring them both here. That is all.ā€
Her choice had been a simple one, the moment Rodolphus Lestrange had announced the fundraiser: step up to orchestrate it. Her work with Rabastan and friendship to Emma had done enough to get her foot in the door of his good graces, but this would help. Of course this would help. Where the Dupont family stood as French wizard royalty, the Black family rose as Londonā€™s. And while the young witch would have been content to organize the event herself, having the help couldnā€™t hurt. Certainly not if it helped give a chance to prove herself.
The invitation had come as bit of a surprise, but one Natalie was taking to be a pleasant one. If someone so esteemed was offering help, it was a loaded offer that would be rude to ignore. Orion Black was among the Dark Lordā€™s strongest hands, and she remembered his son from school even if Regulus was younger. Because there was, of course, only one son now; a perverse corner of her mind spoke, saying she had that in common to the Black clan, the loss of one of their own. Not that she would dare ever breach such a thing.Ā 
Ensuring herself that she was presentable, Natalie left the family state, soon arriving at Grimmauld Place. Seeing it in person was different than hearing the stories. Because of course there were stories, just as there were of her familyā€™s land. Pureblood society was well known to their own kind. Positioning a polite smile on her face, she tapped against the door, stepping inside as the elf opened it, welcoming her into the hall.
@regulusbā€‹Ā 
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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ā€œWhere are we even going Uncle Walden?ā€ had been the start of it, no more than ten minutes into their trek. When it had started to rain on them, turning dirt into mud beneath his feet heā€™d complained some more -Ā ā€œMy feet are wet - My boot is stuck- Uncle Walden youā€™re going too fast!ā€ Truthfully, he wanted to stay home so that he could play with the older boys; Sirius and Benjy and Evan, but apparently everyone else had other plans. He wasnā€™t a fan of things like this. Sure he liked flying, and he did genuinely enjoy playing with the other boys, even if they were getting dirty but this was far from something that fell in his comfort zone.Ā ā€œUncle Walden Iā€™m tired and hungry, can we take a break? Did you bring snacks? Where are we going, are we there yet?ā€ It was a pretty typical cacophony of complaints from the seven year old, but when Walden mentioned sleeping in the mud he bit down on his cheeks, deciding only then that it was best to listen and keep his thoughts to himself.
He didnā€™t make it into the clearing for a full minute after Walden had, and he found himself searching the small area for some reason they might have come here. Of course, he was left staring up at Walden when he announced that they were staying here.Ā ā€œBut why? Itā€™s all muddy and my bed is at home... Whoā€™s gonna...ā€ He wasnā€™t entirely sure what to say, because he was sure that his Uncle had some answer for whatever he could say.Ā ā€œI donā€™t want to. I want to go home...ā€
fear the fireĀ | walden&regulus | flashback
Date: July 12, 1969
Location: Kingswood Forest
@regulusb
ā€œIf you stopped complaining, we would get there sooner,ā€ Walden insisted. With a small bag slug over one shoulder and his Executionerā€™s axe in the opposing hand, he trudged expertly through the forest grounds.Ā Though he could hear his nephew struggling to keep up behind him, he neither slowed his stride nor glanced over his shoulder to ensure that the young boy didnā€™t fall too far behind, as any other responsible adult may have done. ā€œI recommend you speed up and shut up. If we donā€™t get there soon, there wonā€™t be enough sunlight to build ourselves a shelter. Are you having a hard time walking through this mud? How would you like sleeping on it?ā€ Despite his harsh words, the man would at least ensure that the two had a safe and sanitary shelter to sleep that night ( mainly for his own sake ), but of all the lessons he planned to teach Regulus that night, the first was the most important - the universe wouldnā€™t wait for anybody. The sun would set at its own pace and people would get where they were going with or without their intended company.Ā 
After some time, the man finally came to a stop in a rather small clearing surrounded by trees. He looked around, nodding his approval. ā€œHere,ā€ He declared, setting his bag down. ā€œThis is the spot my father took meā€¦ I think. Itā€™s changed a bit, but thatā€™s alright.ā€ For the first time since they had entered the forest, he turned to face the boy fully. ā€œAlright, kid. Weā€™re spending the next two nights here. We need food, fire, and shelter. Whatā€™s our first priority? Itā€™s your call.ā€
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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orion-blvck:
There was one thing Orion knew: he was not, under any circumstance, going to turn his son in. He looked over at Regulus; the corner of his mouth twitched, he reached out towards him, but at the last second, before contact could be made or before Regulus would open his eyes, the hand retreated and Orion ran it through his hair anxiously. Looking down at his left arm, he pushed the sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow to trace the black snake on his skinā€“ a deep breath left barely parted lips.Ā 
As much as it pained him to see Regulus like this, Orion wouldnā€™t let himself regret it. At least not now. There was too much to process for him to worry about the ramifications of assaulting his sonsā€™ mind like that. It was necessary and Orion was a man who did what needed to be done no matter the costs. Maybe Regulus would understand one day, maybe he wouldnā€™t. It didnā€™t matter in the long runā€“ Orion was already a terrible father.Ā 
The only noise that filled up his study was the sobbing of his son. Heā€™d never seen him like this before; he looked so tiny and vulnerable and young. Orion wanted to protect him, to pick him up and hold him tightly, but how was he suppose to protect Regulus when he was the cause of his anguish? Maybe there wasĀ something he could do now, but Orion didnā€™t know what that was. If he was a better father then maybe he would.
After some time, Orion leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and cleared his throat.Ā ā€œRegulusā€¦ son, Iā€™m not going to turn you in. Iā€™m not going to let anything happen to you, and Iā€™m certainly not going to let you die,ā€ he said, gently but just as sternly. Of all the things he saw, what angered him the most, was his sonā€™s willingness to die, a genetic defect Orion didnā€™t doubt he passed down. He tried to keep his voice level, but he couldnā€™t stop the anger that seeped out through the cracks. ā€œYou should have told me. You should have told me the moment I returned home! A horocrux, Regulus? Really? Do you understand what kind of magic this is? What kind of man it takes to wield such power?ā€
Orion stood up and in a fit of rage, he launched a lamp across the room, throwing it into a wall. He turned around to face his son, but it wasnā€™t simple anger that was written on his face. It was a sad sort of angry, desperate and heartbreaking, something that stung the corners of his eyes. ā€œAnd you! So eager to die! Do you have any idea what that would do to your mother? We already lost one son. I am not going to lose another!ā€ Orion threw his hands up in a fit and walked over to his drink cart, completely bare except for a few crystal glasses and a pitcher of cold water. He filled up a glass and brought it over to Regulus, sitting back down right after with another heavy sigh.Ā ā€œYou should have told meā€¦ā€
He had no recollection of the last time he had cried like this - not at a funeral or at a broken bone or anything like that. Even when Sirius had left them, in the face of his parents heā€™d remained stoic and strong. Heā€™d saved his tears for the shower, where there was no risk of anyone ever seeing or hearing them as they washed down the drain. Heā€™d almost certainly been a small child the last time heā€™d cried in front of either of his parents like this, and he certainly didnā€™t like that it was happening now either. He looked up only when Orion had said he wasnā€™t going to let him die, because there was no way he could know that.
Heā€™d opened his mouth to say as such, but then Orion had continued before he could find the right words, because yet again - how was he supposed to tell him anything? Heā€™d just come back from a month of what sounded like torture, and even still he had to question which ties were stronger. There was no way he could have possibly told him anything, but he did quickly cut in,Ā ā€œNo, I donā€™t know-ā€ before cutting himself off, watching as the lamp shattered against the wall.
He couldnā€™t quite place the look on Orionā€™s face, though it did render him back into silence, his gaze dropping to the floor at the sound of his disappointment. This was likely the closest theyā€™d come to acknowledging Sirius in front of him since his departure, and Regulus found he was quite happy for the distraction that a simple glass of water provided, focussing on not eliminating it too quickly by drinking it all.Ā 
It seemed quickly that whatever anger his father had was ebbing away, and it was his turn to speak now, though he still had no clue just what was going to come out of his mouth,Ā ā€œI couldnā€™t tell you.ā€ His statement was simple.Ā ā€œI didnā€™t know - I still donā€™t know anything. I donā€™t know what a horcrux is or even if that is what Slytherinā€™s locket is. I donā€™t know what to do, but I know that whatever heā€™s done, heā€™s tried to kill Kreacher in order to hide it, and with all of the safeguards heā€™s put in place whoever does try to retrieve it is going to die in the process. I couldnā€™t tell you though - Dad you - You were hurt. If this is going to kill someone it might as well be me. The only way Iā€™m ever going to fix any of my mistakes is dying anyways.ā€
trespasser || orion
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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visitation || reg & mum
July 13th, 1979
It was strange wasn't It, a warning to dress to blend in with a slip of parchment in his hand with an address. An address that would lead him to his motherā€™s new flat. He'd actually had to leave home to see his own mother. He hadn't asked what had prompted her to leave - whatever had happened was between his mother and father, even if there was always going to be a part of him that would blame himself. As though his being a better son would negate any other issues in their lives. As if there was anything he could possibly have done to prevent any of this. He'd thought that he would have been the next, and last, person to leave Number Twelve, having just finished school, yet here they were, and instead it was Walburga settling into a new home. Even if things felt strained between himself and his father, he couldn't leave him alone. For some reason it felt as though she stood a better chance at surviving on her own than he did.
He didn't know why she wanted him to visit so soon, sure she couldn't possibly be settled in yet, but still here he was, as dressed down as he'd ever been in his life in a long sleeved cotton shirt and jeans. Even his hair seemed to help him blend in well with the other muggle boys, hanging down long over his shoulders was evidently the preferred style. He wasn't sure how much he disliked the thought that he could so easily blend in with them now. It worked to his benefit here, waiting for the elevator in a muggle building, but in generalā€¦ No matter how much he changed, he'd always think of himself as superior to them. He had to check the address again to get the right floor as he boarded with a few of them, aware of the way he tried to press himself into the wall to avoid contact, and how quickly he'd gotten off at the right floor. It had taken him a minute to find the right door, and even then he'd taken a moments pause before knocking, ā€œMother? It's me.ā€
@walburgablak
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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He wasnā€™t surprised that Rabastan had gotten straight to the point, though he didnā€™t know exactly what he was expecting of him. Did he know more than he let on and simply want him to own up to it, or was he as in the dark as Regulus hoped he was? Being pointed at made him feel uncomfortable, and though it was a finger and not a wand, he couldnā€™t help but feel like there was some hidden threat in the motion,Ā ā€œMy intentions?ā€ Heā€™d asked, letting Rabastan continue on, explaining the hierarchy that Regulus was well aware of,Ā ā€œAt the moment my intentions are to graduate at the top of my class. War is not yet any of my business. I canā€™t say Iā€™ve given it very much personal thought.ā€ He lied, though it was truly a believable one. Rabastan had no reason to know or believe that Regulus had taken the mark a long time ago, not when so many others had waited much longer than he had.Ā ā€œThis summer Iā€™ll obviously have to give it much more thought, but for the time being my focus is my education. War is no reason to give up on that when Iā€™m protected the way that I am.ā€
Toy Soldiers | Rabastan + Regulus
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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ā€œI completely understand that that isnā€™t how it is currently done, but it seems to me - given the things Iā€™ve read in the paper - that perhaps a restructuring might benefit your department?ā€ He didnā€™t know what made him make the suggestion, or to even think of it in the first place, but heā€™d have to content himself with thinking that it was some effort to keep Kingsley Shacklebolt from eyeing himself too closely.Ā ā€œIf what youā€™re doing isnā€™t working you need to change it, no? Take us for example,ā€ He made a move to clear some of the books from the table, again all too conscious of those that he chose to move to the floor near his feet, clearing a line of table between them.Ā ā€œYou prefer fieldwork - I assume - and as you can clearly see, I prefer to study. Wouldnā€™t it make sense then that you could safely assume that the work that one prefers to do is also the work that theyā€™re good at?ā€
It was a pointless conversation to be having, but it served itā€™s purpose as far as Regulus was concerned. If he was talking about this then there were a hundred other things that he wasnā€™t talking about, and that held far more purpose to him than making suggestions in making the auror office more effective.Ā ā€œFollowing my line of thinking, that if you and I were working together, it would be safe to assume that if an article were given to us asĀ ā€˜evidenceā€™,ā€ he lifted his hands from the table, actually using air quotes as he used a foot to move the books further under the table, even less likely to draw Kingsleyā€™s attention,Ā ā€œThat I would be able to deduce more from it than you would? I wouldnā€™t dream of thinking that Iā€™d be better at actually apprehending someone than you would be, or that I could even beat you in a duel,ā€ that much he wasnā€™t entirely sure of - he knew many spells simply from virtue of the home heā€™d grown up in that someone who hadnā€™t had that same exposure couldnā€™t dream of countering,Ā ā€œand I certainly wonā€™t pretend to know just what your fieldwork really is, but there just might be soemthing to using your people more effectively - since what youā€™re doing now isnā€™t working.ā€ It was a little jab, though he made sure that he kept any smirk off of his face in letting it out.
There was some pride though, in the fact that the aurorĀ had taken nearly half as many NEWTs as he was. Kingsley knew what was expected of him, that perfection was demanded, and that being anything less than the best was utterly unacceptable. Anybody that knew Regulus knew that heā€™d done everything in his power to ensure that he would be at the top of his class. The fact alone that Kingsley had taken home Eā€™s rather than Oā€™s had made him smirk, though he knew that book-smarts didnā€™t count for everything. He simply got a sense of pride out of feeling that he was better than that.Ā ā€œI know that you know that failure is not an option for me. There may not be a huge ceremony this year, and there may not be any fanfare, but I will be the top of my class, and Iā€™ll have done it all on my own, and it will be an accomplishment to be proud of.ā€
curiosity || kingsley & regulus
regulus
If there was only one thing on the planet that Regulus was allowed to declare hatred for, it would absolutely be surprises. It didnā€™t matter that in this instance it was his own fault for being so entranced in his research, it only mattered that it had happened, and left him with that unsettled feeling in his stomach. The fact that it was Kingsley didnā€™t do him any justice either. He was well aware of the fact that the other man was an auror, and not someone he wanted to spend a lot of time with under any circumstances.
He was aware of what was on the table in front of him - a mixture of things that he was suddenly hyperaware of, closing a book or two as subtly as he could manage when Kingsley had joined him. He made a bit of a show of rearranging things in an effort to hide the fact that there were some things that he didnā€™t want Kingsley to see, shuffling them closer to himself to offer the other wizard part of the table.Ā 
ā€œWell you were a Hufflepuff and not a Ravenclaw. Why wouldnā€™t the department use people in roles that they actually enjoy? Wouldnā€™t it have been better for someone who actually enjoys research to be doing it?ā€ It only made sense to him.Ā ā€œI know that I tend to do better when I get to work on things that I actually enjoy.ā€Ā 
It seemed as though Kingsley wasnā€™t paying him very much mind, and Regulus was confident then that he hadnā€™t taken full note of the scrolls and books in front of him. Heā€™d made sure by now that the spines of the books facing the other man were all things related to his studies, which by now had been brought up.Ā ā€œIā€™ll be taking eight of them; Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Potions, and Transfigurationā€¦ I wanted to take Alchemy as well, but there wasnā€™t enough interest in the course this year,ā€ it was only polite to maintain conversation,Ā ā€œWhich NEWTs did you take?ā€
ā€œThatā€™s not exactly how the Auror department works, but that statement is true for most people I assume,ā€ Kingsley commented thoughtfully, rapping his knuckles on the table in front of him. He could have gone into more detail about his position, but knowing Regulus, or anyone in the Black family, they wanted information and details and Kingsley wanted the kid as annoyed and thrown off as possible. Well, Kingsley wanted all his conversations to be like that, people always spilled the most secrets when they were uncomfortable. At this moment, any information was something for Kingsley.
Kingsleyā€™s eyebrows lifted slightly at the mention of all his classes. Truly, he wasnā€™t all that surprised though considering the family he came from. Kingsley had much of the same pressures put on him during his years at school, but heā€™d done well enough to become an Auror obviously.Ā ā€œI tookĀ Charms, Herbology, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, and Potions. Exceeds Expectations on all of them, much to my parents dismay. They expected Oā€™s, but they got over it.ā€Ā 
The schooling part of school had never been Kingsleyā€™s favorite thing. Heā€™d done his best to make his parents happy enough and be able to achieve his dreams of becoming an Auror. He did the bare minimum for an over-achiever and got by.Ā 
In addition to that, Kingsley also wasnā€™t buying that the only thing on this kidā€™s mind was his NEWTs. Sure, that was probably taking up a good percentage of his brain space, but Kingsley had caught title of one of the books Regulus had been reading and it had nothing to do with any of the subjects heā€™d just listed. Well, maybe a history of magic, but even that was a stretch.Ā ā€œIā€™m sure youā€™ll do quite alright on your tests. I mean, failing is not an option Iā€™m sure.ā€
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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He never meant to stay at these places as late as he often wound up staying. There hit a certain point in the evening that places like The Leaky Cauldron ceased being restaurants and became much more like a bar, and that wasnā€™t an environment that he was a huge fan of. Still though, he had work to do, and while he was actually having a moment of clarity he wasnā€™t going to leave. He ordered a drink more for show than anything - regulars knew him by this point, and would likely know that he had no intention of actually imbibing it.Ā 
Exams were quickly approaching, and he needed at least some of his focus to be on them, working tirelessly at his star charts, perfecting them before submission. Of course, now that Aurora was engaged to Uncle Walden, he might have held some sway with her... But then remembered their conversation at the end of his sixth year, when her position with him had been made clear. He wouldnā€™t want to pass on familial merit anyways. He knew that he was the best of his year, and he would never use that relationship as an excuse to slack off, even if his time might have been better spent on other things.Ā 
Alectoā€™s voice had pulled him away from his studying though, as she was clearly speaking to him, and there was no denying that what she said was true. The eternity of their name rested on him and he was well aware of it. He was the pride of their house, and wouldnā€™t make it much longer without having to accept the responsibility that came with such a burden.Ā ā€œIā€™m just as disappointed by that fact as you are. This has been the longest year of my entire life.ā€ Heā€™d opened his mouth to say something when sheā€™d started closing his textbooks - without marking his place in them - but merely closed it again. He had to disagree with what she said, but given everything that had happened over the last few years between his family and hers, he let her win this one. He didnā€™t particularly want to drink, but the fact of the matter was - she had approached him, and as far as he knew right now, had no hidden agenda. It was almost nice to think that sheā€™d picked him out of the crowd because she wanted to rather than that she needed to. So he did pick up his glass, though he half feared the burn of the whiskey it held.Ā ā€œWhat should we drink to?ā€
the other side || regulus & alecto
when? may 23th
where? the leaky cauldronĀ 
(( @regulusb ))
Usually Alecto preferred going to one of her regular pubs later in the evening, however her mood today required more alcoholic beverages than she had still stored back home. Mostly that was probably due to the fact that she had been in a foul mood for quite a while now, feeling not only restless but angry as well. While the rest of the Death Eaters seemed to be rather proud of themselves for taking over the ministry Alecto hadnā€™t even felt a bit of triumph over that success. She knew they were making plans now, plans nobody cared to involve her in. Until they had anybody they needed dead sheā€™d probably be left out completely, something Alecto had never appreciated about being part of this group that allowed her to be herself, at least for a little while. Now it didnā€™t feel like this was really her place anymore. All the more reason to drink.Ā 
Upon entering the pub she inspected the others in the pub, mostly small groups bowed over their butterbeers and muttering to each other. It wasnā€™t yet late enough for all the lonely souls to come out of their holes. Being here alone wasnā€™t what Aly would have preferred but on the other hand most people would probably annoy her more than do any good at the moment and Amycus had been nowhere to be found. Too bad, since he was really one of the only people she could still get herself to be interested in. Heading straight for the bar Aly ordered a firewhiskey. The days when she could have still been bothered by drinking anything but hard liquor were long gone. While waiting for her drink her gaze once more wandered over the tables, stopping on one of them for a moment, thinking she recognized the guy sitting there, bowed over a bunch of books. When her drink finally arrived she quickly took it and walked over to the table.Ā 
Setting down her drink she smirked a little as she made out Regulusā€™ face.Ā ā€œIf itā€™s not the whole pride of the house Black.ā€ She said teasingly as she nonchalantly sat down across from him, taking a sip from her drink. Quickly she scanned the titles of the books laying in front of him and quickly realized she knew quite some of them from her time in Hogwarts.Ā ā€œI completely forgot you were actually still in school, or rather that I know anybody who still is.ā€ Starting to close all the books in front of him she sighed a little at his expression.Ā ā€œStudying is utterly fucking overestimated. Do you want to know what isnā€™t? Drinking!ā€ Raising her glass she gestured towards his with her chin.Ā ā€œFeel like making a toast?ā€Ā 
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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orion-blvck:
Orion almost didnā€™t hear the words come out of his sonā€™s mouth. Not because he spoke too quietly or not clearly enough, but because it wasnā€™t what Orion was expecting at all. In the simplest terms, Regulus was the goodĀ one. Orion honestly couldnā€™t remember the last time he had to send him to his room to ā€˜think about his actionsā€™ or write a scathing letter to him while at Hogwarts. Regulus wasnā€™t Sirius and Orion never wanted him to be. But the book, the breaking in, and now this, the secrets and lies, almost made it feel like his once-son was standing in front of him.
He allowed a few seconds of silence to pass between them, hoping Regulus would come to his senses and tell him everything. If Orion was weak enough, heā€™d beg his son to tell the truth. If Regulus was weak enough, maybe he would have, and that thought alone almost made Orion proud. He searched his sons face almost desperately, his mind yelled at him to spit it out because Orion didnā€™t want to be left to discover the truth on his own. It was as if he was about to taint their relationship; Orion had thought things were getting better between them since his escape, but apparently not.Ā 
When it was clear that Regulus wasnā€™t going to give in, Orion cleared his throat, stood up a little taller, and pushed aside all emotion. He wouldnā€™t allow himself to care.Ā ā€œVery well,ā€ he said, almost spitting out the words to show he would not be the one to feel regret (even if an apology sat on the tip of his tongue), and then grabbed Regulus by the collar of his shirt with his left hand. His wand was already in the other, level with the middle of his forehead.Ā ā€œDonā€™t fight it.ā€Ā 
And then Orion mumbled the incantation -legilimens-Ā and what he saw made him choke on his breath, made him almost stumble back if it wasnā€™t for the hand tightening around his sonā€™s shirt. Orion pulled out of his mind for half a second, eyes blown as he stared down at the young man who was suddenly a child, and then he dove back in with little care. Orion replayed what he saw two more times until he felt his eyes start to sting- he released Regulus, pushing him back into the chair behind him and then sat down himself.
Orion didnā€™t say anything. He held his wand in a limp hand, dangling between sweaty fingers, and stared at his son. His only visible reaction was the tick in his jaw as he struggled to understand not just Regulus, but the war in his own mind as well.
Heā€™d never truly been in a situation where he had any reason to fear his father before, but for some reason when heā€™d gripped the collar of his shirt he felt his breath catch in his throat, and then caught himself trying to force a swallow. Heā€™d invited him to do this, he had to remember. It was far better than dragging him in to it all willingly. At least in this manner his father could stop watching at any point. He didnā€™t know if he wanted him to or not.Ā 
It was hard not to try and force him out at first, and if he was being totally honest he wasnā€™t sure if heā€™d been the one to push him out or if Orion had retreated, but he did his best now to pull forth what he wanted to see. He wasnā€™t typically an emotional person - he was much more likely to be described as lacking emotion completely, but for some reason he felt himself start to cry as Orion rifled through his mind.
He tried his best to control what he was seeing, though it was impossible to keep everything that bothered him at bay - memories of the night that Sirius had left home, or of nights that heā€™d practically forgotten about; waiting up for someone who wasnā€™t coming home - instead he tried to focus on the relevant things as theyā€™d happened.
- A private moment between Regulus and the Dark Lord;
He cast a glance back over his shoulder at his parents, his heart hammering away at his throat as he walked beside the man he so looked up to. This was the right thing to do, even if it was also the most terrifying. How many other young men wished that they were able to go through this, and on his sixteenth birthday? It was the best gift he could have asked for. He didnā€™t know if the Dark Lord thought highly enough of him to bestow him with his mark, but he hoped for it.Ā 
Voldemort spoke candidly, of his plans for a better future, and how Regulus himself had potential to be a leader. He could feel him probing at his mind and tried to leave him to see whatever it was that he wanted. At the very least he didnā€™t find any reason to stop talking to him.Ā 
Things progressed quickly when he seemed satisfied, speaking calmly about his expectations of Regulus; that he would scout for potential recruits during his time at school, and without being obvious he would try to prime them, and then, much clearer in his memory than the rest -Ā ā€œDo you have a house elf, Regulus?ā€
ā€œYes, sir, I do.ā€
ā€œI will require the use of a house elf at some point in the future. Would you be willing to lend yours to my cause?ā€
ā€œOf course sir.ā€
---
Kreacherā€™s eyes went wide, the silver platter falling from his hands as he looked up at Regulus, seated behind a desk in the library of their home. It was practically where theyā€™d holed up now, doing that which they could in order to find Orion. ā€œRegulus I must go now.ā€
A loud pop resounded before Regulus could even process what had just happened. Who had summoned Kreacher away from him right now? Heā€™d been practically alone with only Kreacher really taking the time to speak to him and nowā€”
His heart fell. He knew, staring at the tea as it pooled out over the hardwood floor that Kreacher had been summoned by Lord Voldemort. Nobody else would have brought that tone out of his friendā€™s mouth, and now he was left to sit here and wait. Heā€™d been doing an awful lot of that lately. He tapped his quill against the parchment in front of him, his foot bouncing up and down in a similar rhythm on the floor. Nerves wracked him, and he wasnā€™t sure how to handle them anymore. Part of him wondered if this was the feeling that drove so many to drink, and he idly wished he had some vice that he could partake in. It had only been seconds, and yet somehow it felt as though heā€™d been sitting in resolute silence for much longer already. ***
Surely the night would end with his father returning home, that the rest of the Death Eaters were out looking for him and that the Dark Lord had only summoned Kreacher because wherever he was, he needed a house elf for some aspect of his recovery.Ā 
He couldnā€™t have been more wrong when Kreacher had returned to him seeming as though he was on the brink of death, and only because a year and a half ago Regulus had given him the order that when he was summoned he was also to return and tell him everything that had happened. It had taken him days to nurse Kreacher back to a point where he could even tell of what had happened, and things hadnā€™t been the same after that.
---
Heā€™d focused on the locket as Kreacher had described it at first, researching it as much as he could. He learned quickly that it had belonged to Salazar Slytherin himself, but he couldnā€™t find anything that would lead the Dark Lord to hide it in a cave with a potion that had nearly killed his house elf - a potion that would have killed him were he not following orders that Regulus had barely remembered giving over a year and a half prior.Ā 
---
He wasnā€™t sleeping, barely eating as he became consumed with a need to find answers to all of his problems. He needed his father home - he was nowhere near ready to take over the family if anything happened to him . He needed to figure out what importance the locket held. He needed to finish school - and hopefully at the top of his class. He needed to be the best - he had no other options. He was all that they had left - their good name depended on him.
---
Horcrux.
He saw the word in an old book and had no clue what it was - he had to buy it. He couldnā€™t help but feel like this was important - magic that heā€™d never even heard of before? Something like that was sure to pique his interest.
---
There wasnā€™t enough time in the day for everything he seemed to need to get done. Between school and the mystery that was figuring out if there even was a link between the locket and whatever a horcrux actually was he was wearing down. Mum had stopped him after coming home one day and practically begged him to take better care of himself.
---
The first assault was done, but his reprieve didnā€™t last long before Orion was at it again, going back to the beginning, and he struggled to think about what else he might have wanted to see.
---
Heā€™d forged his fatherā€™s signature on a letter heā€™d penned to Cassandra Burke and invited her to their home. Heā€™d asked her about the locket, and learned of several more items that she knew of that he sought. It was possible that whatever the locket was, it wasnā€™t the only one.
Heā€™d been escorted to the ministry by an official who had questions that he felt heā€™d answered poorly. Heā€™d yelled at the man and then practically run to Narcissa when heā€™d been let free.
Kingsley Shacklebolt had frightened him when heā€™d been looking in the library for information - heā€™d turned up with nothing.
Heā€™d literally passed out surrounded by books at The Three Broomsticks. It was the first time heā€™d slept a full night in ages. Madam Rosmerta had been sitting at his table reading a book when he woke up.
He was struggling to find any relevant information at all. Any of the books heā€™d found outside of their home had all proven fruitless. He knew where the locket was but the search for what it meant was leading him nowhere fast. If he was going to find information anywhere it could very well be right under his nose. He had to get into his fatherā€™s study on the off chance there was something - anything - in there that could help him.
---
He could feel tears streaming down his face when he was granted another quick reprieve, barely managing to shake his head when Orion went in for a third time. His own thoughts were louder now, unable to keep his feelings at bay anymore. It had been hard enough living through the last few months once, let alone three more times in the span of a few minutes.
---
Iā€™m going to die. Whether itā€™s at his hands or my own the only way Iā€™m ever going to get out of this is death. All I can do is hope that mum and dad wonā€™t be targeted for my cowardice and betrayal. All I can do is try and protect them from the fallout. Iā€™ve got to figure it out before anyone else. Iā€™ve got to figure it out before anyone else even knows Iā€™m looking. I canā€™t talk to anyone else about this. I have to figure this out. Everything depends on it. Everythi---
---
He fell back into the armchair when Orion pushed him away, drawing his knees up into his chest, making himself as small as he could. It took him a moment to realize that he was openly sobbing now, something he hadnā€™t allowed himself to do in years, something so detached from the stoic man he tried to be, and somewhat more fitting for a teenager under the amount of stress that he was,Ā ā€œIā€™m sorry,ā€ he half sputtered, entirely unable to open his eyes and look up at Orion. He had no clue if he was more loyal to the family or to the Dark Lord, and he was terrified to find out.Ā ā€œI didnā€™t want you to know- I thought you were safer if you didnā€™t- I donā€™t know what Iā€™m doing- I-ā€ he stopped, trying to take a deep breath but finding it nearly impossible. He didnā€™t know what he was trying to say at this point.Ā ā€œIf youā€™re going to turn me in I just need you to warn me... Iā€™m your son, at least give me a headstart if I need to run...ā€
trespasser || orion
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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The only thing that Regulus had sent back was a date, and a promise that his trust was not misplaced. They would surely discuss everything in person, and in the meantime - the days leading up to their conversation in the forest - it gave him something to think about.Ā 
What really struck him from the last letter was that he seemed to think that they were all the same. The thought that there was no difference in someoneā€™s mind between himself - a proper pureblood - and a muggle from down the street... It was absurd, wasnā€™t it? That the only difference that Ted saw was that the muggle couldnā€™t use magic? Was it even possible that that was remotely the truth? Heā€™d learned that they were dangerous - practically barbaric. They didnā€™t hold the same value in their ancestry as him - there were some who didnā€™t even know where they came from - and wasnā€™t that important in defining a sense of self? To his knowledge the only families that cared about lineage and heirs in the muggle world were those descended from royalty - but even then there were questions of whether or not the royal families were truly muggle or simply wizards who chose not to flaunt their magic publicly.
He hadnā€™t brought very much with him. A few books in his bag had served as enough promise that he was heading out with the intent to study, his broom shrunken down and hidden in the bag the only way heā€™d manage to sneak it out of the house. Hogsmeade was close enough to Hogwarts that he could fly over most of the forest to the place theyā€™d designated as their meeting spot. It was no secret that Regulus wasnā€™t a fan of the forest, and never had been. Of course, that went back to being a small child, the smallest of their generation of pureblood boys, and if anything not really belonging to the group in age but rather in that there was no one closer to his own age to associate with. Heā€™d heard all kinds of stories growing up, and had many irrational fears regarding things like werewolves and centaurs, all of which he knew to be in the forest.
Heā€™d flown over the clearing a few times before landing, needing to ensure that there was nothing lurking around, unless that something in question was Ted, but it seemed that he had beaten him here, making sure to put distance between himself and the line of trees, his grip on both his wand and his broom white-knuckled.
regulusb:
ā€œT.Tā€
You must understand that growing up in our family is quite different from any other, especially your own. While I make no assumptions, your parents are both muggles, which inherently means that you had quite the opposite upbringing to myself or Andromeda. You must also understand that it is quite difficult to grow up and question the things that you have known to be true your entire life thus far. I did not claim Andromeda insane - I claimed to have once questioned her sanity, and in my eyes these are two very different things. I am eight years younger than her, and was only young when she left. You can only imagine the kinds of things I was told about her by the rest of the family.
As much as I appreciate you talking to me for Andromeda, I really donā€™t want you to do this out of some sense of duty to her. Iā€™m learning now that service to others can be quite misguided, even with the best intentions. I simply want to know more about you. Your people. Iā€™m not entirely sure how else to phrase that, even if it doesnā€™t quite sound right as is. As much as I donā€™t like being indebted to anyone, I would prefer you do this as a favour to me personally, and should you ever need one, you can call on me for one in return.
As far as a location I must admit that Iā€™m not going to be of much help. London itself is almost entirely out of the question. There is simply far too much chance that we will be seen here, and such an event would not end well for either of us. The last person I met under similar pretenses met with me in the forbidden forest between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts, and while it may not have been the smartest thing for me to have done, I will offer you the same assurance that I mean you no harm - I will leave my wand at home. If this is unsuitable, feel free to suggest an alternative.
- R. A. B.
R. A. B.
I think I understand enough about your family although I will try not to judge you all too harshly even though few of you extended me that same consideration. We undoubtedly come from different backgrounds I guess that I can only be glad that youā€™re seeking answers from people outside of yours. I am not one who enjoys being told that they must do something but I will do my best to keep an open mind throughout this exchange, providing of course that you are willing to do the same. Although I suspect the very fact that you have written to be at all shows a willingness to hear other opinions on things.Ā 
Theyā€™re not my people, theyā€™re just people. The same as you and I just they donā€™t get the chance to use magic. Things make a lot more sense when you stop seeing a them and an us. If your intention simply is to get to know more about me then it truly is no favour - only what should have happened gradually over time were Andromeda and I allowed to be a part of your family. Itā€™s nothing that I would hold over your head nor will I want anything in return for it as none of it is particularly sensitive information or at any great cost to me if I tell you.Ā 
The Forbidden Forest would be fine by me but you can keep your wand. It seems foolish for the two of us to wander in unarmed when thereā€™s no guarantee that weā€™ll remain undisturbed by its residents. For now I am choosing to trust that the wand will not be aimed my way and I hope that trust is not misplaced. Simple let me know a time and date and I will be willing to discuss this in person with you.Ā 
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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frankxlongbottom:
Frank looked Regulus over. The kid looked so tired, Frank was sadly aware of the fact that under his sleeve hid a dark mark. Frank had seen it on the day he was supposed to aid in the torture of him. Frank hadnā€™t been able to do it however, it was one of the largest fights Frank and Dirk had ever had. Frank left the room before anything started.
ā€œIā€™m fine. Iā€™ve got to be tough being an auror and all.ā€ Frank said with a half smile.Ā ā€œDonā€™t worry about the run it. I know it wasnā€™t on purpose.ā€ His eyes softened as he thought of how to phrase his next question.Ā ā€œAre you doing alright, Regulus?ā€ Frank was truly filled with concern. Sirius had often told him stories about the way he was raised and Frank couldnā€™t help but worry about the kid still trapped in that home.Ā ā€œI mean outside of us taking a spill and outside of school. Are you doing okay?ā€
Frank hoped Regulus didnā€™t just get offended and walk away. He knew it was a possibility especially with a Black. They were well known for their tempers.Ā ā€œIt looks like youā€™re doing some heavy research. Is that for school or just recreational?ā€ He asked hoping to not make Regulus too nervous around him. Frank hoped he could glean a few answers from the kid, but more than that he hoped to ensure he was okay.
He busied himself with continuing to straighten himself out - the dirt on his knees was brushed off quickly with a hand, the few strands of hair that had dared to fall from where heā€™d carefully tied it back were just as quickly pushed behind his ear. As his shoulder had lifted though, the strap on his bag had broken again, though at least this time his belongings were a bit more contained. He couldnā€™t hide his annoyance as he stooped down to pick up the broken bag and the couple of quills that had fallen out.
ā€œWhy?ā€ Heā€™d had to ask when Frank had asked him if he was doing okay - outside of the run in and outside of school - why would someone like Frank Longbottom even care to ask him a question like that? Did he know something that he shouldnā€™t have known?Ā ā€œI just mean why do you care? Iā€™m fine. Would I even be here if I wasnā€™t?ā€ It was a snap answer, and he found himself shaking his head. Wasnā€™t it a strange thing to ask? He didnā€™t like people prying into his life.
He held his bag tighter to his chest when Frank had asked whether his heavy load was entirely meant for school or if it was for fun, both arms wrapping around the broken bag as though it might be taken from him. He still had so much work to do, and with this new lead... He wouldnā€™t risk having an auror confiscate his belongings, even if he had no reason to do so. It was an irrational fear, but he couldnā€™t help but feel like the spotlight was on him lately.Ā ā€œBoth. Hogwarts doesnā€™t even begin to cover the most interesting subjects. Alchemy wasnā€™t even offered at NEWT level this year. I think I might have been the only one to request it.ā€ Of course, Alchemy had very little to do with the contents of his bag, but he only hoped to satiate Frank Longbottomā€™s interest in him long enough to make an escape.
Collision Course
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regulusb-blog1 Ā· 6 years
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Truthfully, he hadnā€™t wanted to return home this early in the evening, but heā€™d needed to. Heā€™d left a book at home having thought that he wouldnā€™t need it at all only to learn that it was a necessary part to his research. At the very least heā€™d be able to retire to his room and hopefully be left alone when he arrived, but evidently that wasnā€™t going to be happening. He could smell the food before heā€™d even shut the door and had to wonder if heā€™d forgotten about some dinner party he was supposed to be attending. But evidently that wasn't the case. It seemed this dinner was for him. He returned the embrace she gave him, giving her a slight squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. His appetite was non-existent though. He shook his head slightly, "I'm honestly not hungry, Mother... I ate while I was out I had a..." he struggled to remember just what it was that he had ordered and picked at while he worked, but he knew he'd had at least a few bites of something. "I can't remember what exactly, but I promise you I did eat. I'm doing the best I can... it'll get better after my exams, I promise. You don't need to worry about me."
You Need Rest - Regulus and Walburga
Walburga paced back and forth in the kitchen waiting for Regulus to get home. She had been worrying about him for days now. Orion thought it would pass but it hadnā€™t and Walburga was going to take matters into her own hands. The kitchen table was filled with food that Walburga had made as she tried to brainstorm anything Regulus could want to eat. Additionally tea sat ready and waiting with cream and sugar in matching containers next to the pot.Ā 
Walburga turned as she heard the door open, coming face to face with her son. Her heart hurt for him. He had large circles under his young eyes, his face was gaunt and his already slender frame looked even bonier than before. Walburga walked to him wrapping him in an embrace.Ā ā€œReg, baby, I need you to sit down and eat with me.ā€ She said gesturing to the table.Ā ā€œWe need to have a talk about how youā€™re taking care of yourself. I need you to sleep and eat more, baby.ā€
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