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Depression: The Nightmare of Mental Health

Depression sucks. Yes, that’s a bit of an understatement. As someone who’s been depressed for the majority of his life, I can confidently and openly say this is true. I mean, who wouldn’t agree with that statement? Now, for some people, depression is just a normal, and situational stage of life. Some feel depressed when they fail a test at school, or when they are homesick. For others, with major depression like myself, it’s more permanent, and seemingly never-ending.

In fact, many don’t even realize how serious of an issue depression is our world today. Just look at some of these statistics:

According to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (as of 2016):

• Major depression affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older, in a given year • People with depression are four times as likely to develop a heart attack than those without a history of the illness. • -Depression is the cause of over two-thirds of the 30,000 reported suicides in the U.S. each year

Wow. Insane, right? Let’s look at some more information.

“Untreated depression is the number one risk for suicide among youth. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15 to 24 year olds and the fourth leading cause of death in 10 to 14 year olds. Young males age 15 to 24 are at highest risk for suicide, with a ratio of males to females at 7:1.”

(per American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, 2016)

It’s no doubt that depression and suicide are a serious epidemic in our society right now! Yet, while many are speaking out on behalf on mental health awareness, there seems to still be a huge stigma surrounding the topics of depression and suicide.

So, if you’re reading this, and you struggle with severe depression and suicidal thoughts, just know that there is some good news. Depression doesn’t have to be a one-way ticket to self-destruction or a life time of feeling miserable. In this article, I will feature three words of advice, that I have used personally, to combat your depression and better your life. Now, of course, this isn’t a sure-fire cure, or complete comprehensive guide on ridding yourself of depression. But, I do believe that some of these principles may help you, as they have helped me.

My first point is this:

1. You are not alone. You are loved, and cared for.

               I’m sure you may have heard this a few times in your life. Perhaps not enough. Maybe you have had a friend, or relative, or pastor tell you or someone you know this, and just kind of shrugged it off as a kind gesture. The undeniable truth is, that you are truly not alone in life. You may feel isolated at times, but there are communities, and people in general who love and care for you.

I can honestly say I’ve heard this many times throughout life, but I never allowed that phrase to really stick to me. I always said, ‘yeah, sure.. whatever’. Or, “I know I’m not alone, but I feel so isolated, like no one cares, even when they say they do.”. In high school, I was severely depressed, to the point where I would barely even have the energy to pick up my guitar to practice for 15 minutes. I had like many do, the crippling kind of depression. Where you just want to stay in bed all day and sink in the abyss of nothingness and sloth like behavior.

So after years of crippling, and seemingly, unending depression, I stumbled across a video of my favorite vocalist Jake Luhrs, of August Burns Red. He was talking about his struggles with depression and feelings of loneliness, and I felt like I could totally relate to literally everything he saying. He mentioned a website he started with his wife, called HeartSupport. An anonymous community designed for those who feel like they have no one to turn to, are too ashamed to go to their family and friends. For the first time, I was actually thought about seeking out help from others, instead of keeping my feelings bottled up inside. Long story short, because of this community, I felt like I didn’t have to be ashamed about how I was feeling because of how many others that the same way. I truly learned I wasn’t alone.

This leads to my second point:

2. Suicide may seem like a valid option, but it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Reach out, and always keep fighting.

               Even if you are dealing with severe, long-term depression like myself, ending your life is simply NOT the answer. It will only cause more pain to those around you.

I can say from experience that there were times in my life where ending my life seemed only logical. I used to think, “If it never gets better, and if we are to endure hardships and experience pain until we die, then what’s the point in living”. And honestly, this isn’t a crazy thing to thing. I know many people that have told me, “I just can’t see how someone would want to take their life”, or “How could someone not see their value in life?”

The truth is, life is hard. Incredibly hard for some. And when you go your whole life dealing with loss, heartbreak, constantly changing schools (etc.), it gets even harder to think positively. When all you’re used to is disappointment and life failing you, it’s hard to see the beauty and wonder in the world our God created.

               But as hard as life gets, ending your life will only transfer the suffering your are feeling onto those closest to you. I can tell you this, as someone who has suffered from suicidal thoughts in the past, and as someone who has lost someone close to suicide. It sucks feeling that low, it really does. But, it also really hurts losing someone you love, because they didn’t realize how important and loved they were. It’s like Rod Kimble, from Hot Rod said ‘“Life is pain - we've got to scrape the joy from it every chance we get.”

              Seriously though, this life is a tough journey. It is grueling, and biased, and punishing. BUT, (and it’s a big but) there is beauty in world, and there is hope in life! You have the freedom and potential to be who you want to be, and create the life you want. Again, life isn’t easy, but you have the power and ability to improve your life and better your situation!

This may not be what you want to hear, but I’d be wasting my platform if I didn’t say this: When life has you down.. get up off your knees, go out in to the world and be great!

This brings me to my final point:

3. Your life has a purpose. There is hope in life!

More of a continuation of point number 2.. life does get better, as long as you allow it to. In fact, these last two points pretty much go hand in hand!

As a Christian, and as someone who was on the verge of ending his own life, I feel convicted to say this.. don’t be discouraged! When you’re enraged and distraught and fed up with the world, lend your voice to God. Scream your heart out if you have to! He loves and cares about you deeply. More than anything, He wants you to know how much you are loved and that He has a purpose for you in life. I realize that some of you may feel offended by my faith, but please understand that I say this humbly as a believer in Christ! You are loved. You are cared for! Even if you refuse to speak to, or have faith in God, just understand that you are not alone! You’re life has a purpose. You were made to do great things. As I’ve stated earlier, life is hard. Many of us are constantly searching for meaning in life, and striving to find happiness, in whatever that may be! The thing is, life isn’t about finding happiness, it’s about purpose! It’s about finding who we truly are, and part of that, I believe is through God, and through love. Loving others, and loving ourselves.

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

               I love this quote so much. I believe it greatly summarizes the concept of purpose in life. We all have a purpose that has been laid out for us! Sometimes, it takes some time and reflection to realize what that may be. I believe, for myself, my purpose is to live out God’s will here on earth. To be compassionate, and be the man Christ has called me to be. This means treating others with a loving and forgiving nature, and to help them understand they are loved! Now, I can’t tell everyone what their purpose, but I can offer only what I humbly believe. And, that is to love others, to be honorable, or live a life others will remember us for!

So, remember these points, and take them to heart.. You are not alone. Always keep fighting, and your life has a purpose!

If you ever feel like you have no one to speak to about your struggles, regardless of how small or large they may seem.. reach out! A community that helped me, HeartSupport, is a great place to post what you’re going through anonymously. Also, being a part of a church, or synagog is great too! I know at my church (Church Unlimited), we have teams of people standing by to pray for you, and hear what you’re going through. So you never have to feel like you’re alone!

And of course this is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255), in case you don’t feel comfortable doing any of the above steps!

Thank you for reading. I hope you can take something from my experience. God bless fam.

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